


There Has Been an Awakening

by ELISE_ELEVEN



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Childbirth, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Loss of Virginity, Mental Instability, Not by main characters, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Pregnancy, Prophecy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Smut, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars Episode X, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, Threats of Violence, dark themes, threats of harm to children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 129,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ELISE_ELEVEN/pseuds/ELISE_ELEVEN
Summary: Have you felt it...Poe drops down, leaning an elbow on Finn’s shoulder. “It’s Poe Dameron and Finn, from the Resistance. Remember us?”“I remember.” Ben is exhausted, and confused- dying and being resurrected over a year later will do that to you. The last thing he knew was Exegol, Rey's hand clutching his. He didn't even get to say goodbye...Rey!“Where- where is she?” His gaze flickers between them, but they're both clearly avoiding him. Ben’s tone is louder now, urgent. “Where is Rey?!” When his eyes fall on Finn, his voice cracks. “Did something happen-?!”Finn's swallows, clears his throat. Then he finally meets Ben's pleading eyes."Yes."
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 172
Kudos: 442





	1. The Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure what I'm getting myself into here. This fic is based on an idea I had a while ago, where the spirits of the Sith really did go into Rey at the end, and the others now have to bring back the only person who can stop her. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

The temple is eerily quiet as they pass through the archway towering fifty feet in the air above them. The only sound is the echoing of footsteps on the crumbling paving stones. Something about this place has the group nearly tiptoeing around the boulders and rubble, skirting close to the sheer walls of the passageway on either side. 

Poe holds the map. He’s not the one who found it; that was Finn’s contribution. The Force had led him to it; he’d said. Poe doesn’t understand any of that, but does know maps and charts, and so he guides the way through the patches of blue moonlight seeping through the ruined ceiling of the ancient temple. 

There’s a chamber at the other end of the corridor. Poe can’t see it yet, but the map says it’s supposed the be there. They don’t notice they’re already there until they’ve stumbled through the entryway. The archway has partially toppled over into the wall, spilling the almost entirely fill the space. Poe scales the last boulder at the top of the pile and freezes in place. They’re here. 

The chamber is huge. It’s mostly the same as the rest of the place; deteriorating from thousands of years of weathering, rubble scattered everywhere. But there are other things in the mess here; artifacts, weapons, iridescent stones carved with strange symbols. It all looks ancient… and some of it even dangerous. “The Temple of the Force”, Finn had called it. The Force. That means both the Light and the Dark sides. Who knows what could happen in a place like this…

Poe climbs down the rest of the pile and stoops to examine a fallen bronze helm with gems for eyes that seems to be lying in the remains of its pedestal, but Finn, who had been walking along just behind him, does not stop. He has his eyes fixed somewhere else. 

In the very center of the room, untouched by debris or even a speck of dust, stands a pillar of white marble. A single round beam of azure light shines down from a hole in the ceiling upon it, and on the reflective surface of the object perched on top. It has many pointed triangles sticking up from the surface; like a twenty-pointed star, or a circle with dozens of triangles adhered to the surface. Made of milky glass and slivers of dark metal tracing the edges of each shape, the object glows with an aura Finn has never felt before. He’d read about this object in Rey’s Jedi texts, but never had he imagined being confronted by one in real life!

Carefully, Poe joins him just inside the circle of light. They both jump when there’s a shuffling noise at the opening behind them, but then relax just as quickly. 3PO still hasn’t made it over the pile of rocks in the archway, and he’s taking his sweet time about it. 

“This is it? This is the thing…?” Poe asks, leaning over Finn’s shoulder to stare at the shining object as if he expects it to move or open up and start spouting prophecies. 

“Yeah… this is it.” Finn replies. Taking a deep breath, he glances nervously around the cavern. There are too many shadowy corners in this place. And ever since they set foot on this mysterious planet, he’s had a uneasy feeling rising from the pit of his stomach. He’s still not sure they’re doing the right thing. This could go terribly, terribly wrong. They could die today! 

But we have no choice, he tells himself inside his head. We wouldn’t be here if we did. 

CPO has finally made it down the pile. Huffing and puffing something about how he’s too precious to go on dangerous expeditions like this anymore, he sidles up to the edge of the circle of light, cocking his head at the sight. “Oh, I know what that is. That’s the-.” But Poe just claps a finger over the little hole where the droid’s mouth would be and shakes his head. 

“Shhh.” He gives 3PO a look, then turns his attention back on Finn, who still staring intently at this star-like object before him. 

“Alright stand back.” He finally says after taking a deep breath, mustering all his courage. The Force is with him. He may not be as strong with it as Rey or any of the Skywalkers, but he should be able to do this at least this. Right?? He’d read the passage about a thousand times on the way over here. Can it possibly be as straightforward as it seems to be? 

Here goes nothing then…

Finn leans over so that he’s eyelevel with the ancient instrument. Then, with another DEEP breath, he reaches out and wraps both hands around the sides, curling his fingers around the spikes until his fingertips are flush with the glassy surface. He closes his eyes. And breathing deeply through his mouth, he closes his eyes and reaches down inside himself; inside the object. Inside the Force. 

It doesn’t come naturally to him, but as he reaches out, he feels his own hand wrap around the gentle hand of the Force. And he takes hold. 

The device begins to glow beneath his hands, to pulse and thrum as if some creature, asleep for a thousand years, is beginning to stir inside. Poe and 3PO take several steps backward, jolting at the sudden burst of sound. Glancing around, Poe notices that the fragile walls of the decrepit structure are beginning to shudder. He glances anxiously to Finn, but the young man still has his eyes closed, brow creased in concentration as his knuckles turn white around the star- shaped, glowing object. 

“Ben Solo”, Finn breathes. He doesn’t even truly know what he’s looking for, but at least has this name, a powerful name. “Ben Solo. Ben Solo…” 

Suddenly, the air goes silent. The thing in Finn’s hands goes cold and dead as stone and the walls stop shaking. Breathing heavily, Finn and Poe stare at each other for several tense seconds, waiting. Nothing happened. Did he do something wrong??

But then… Something overhead! A shadow in that beam of light, blocking out the moon above. Straining their necks, both men whip their heads round to stare up at the where something seems to have emerged from the small opening. But not something… It’s- it’s a person. 

Naked. Ivory skin bathed in a silvery blue light. He almost appears to have no weight or true form at all, for like a shadow, he floats down through the air, spinning slowly with limbs outstretched, as if being born down by the light itself. His hair is a dark halo about his face, long and shining and floating about him as it though suspended in water. 

It’s beautiful. It is breathtaking. And no one moves, not even to exhale, as their eyes trace his course. Then, that invisible hand retreating, his body slumps onto the ground, boneless; eyes closed as in sleep with black hair fanned out around his head. 

The figure doesn’t move. And for a very long while, neither do they. 

Finally, trying to regain his ability to breathe normally again, Finn crosses the small space and drops carefully to one knee beside the slumbering figure. He reaches out a hand, tentatively to- to touch him? But then he quickly pulls it back. Finn glances at Poe, who merely raises his eyebrows. Swallowing, Finn leans in close. 

“Ren?”

No response. The young man’s eyelids don’t even flutter. Maybe he is dead after all…

Poe shoots his friend a look and grunts. Sighing again, Finn mutters. “…Ben?” 

Its instantaneous. Kylo Ren- no- Ben Solo’s muscles contract and he gasps in a huge lungful of air. Finn and Poe both stumble back with surprise as Solo rolls off his back and runs a hand across his face. Rising up on one elbow, he coughs through a raw throat, breathing heavily. 

He does not look up at them, only stares blankly at the palms of his own hands, fingers curling in toward his face. 

Biting his lip, Finn very slowly lowers back to one knee, extending a hand in a calming gesture. “Ben?” He tries again. “Its Finn.” 

Poe drops down too, leaning an elbow on Finn’s shoulder. “And it’s Poe Dameron, from the Resistance. Remember us?” 

“And it is I, Master Solo, C-3PO; Human Cyborg Relations!” 3PO suddenly interjects, somehow delighted at the sight of his old master and enemy. “You probably don’t recognize me because of the new paintjob but-.”

“I do.” Solo has finally lifted his head, making eye contact with the droid, before rubbing his face with a large hand. “I remember.” He looks exhausted. And confused. He runs his fingers through his long hair, shiny in the intense moonlight, and then brings them close to his face to stare at them for several moments.

Finally, he turns his face upward and fixes his dark gaze on Finn and Poe. “I remember everything.” 

“Ah, good…” Finn replies, somewhat at a loss. They had planned this out. He knew be conversing with him at some point, but now that they’re really face to face… The last thing he’d probably said to him was “Come and get it”, when they battled on Starkiller Base just over two years ago. He doesn’t know how you’re supposed to go from that, to polite small talk. 

They all seem to realize at the same moment that Solo is, in fact, still naked. Ben Solo doesn’t seem to be concerned. He still looks dazed- coming back from the dead will do that to you- but Finn feels a wave of discomfort roll over him. He glances over at Poe, who also seems to be averting his eyes. 

“Here”, Poe says, smacking Finn on the arm. “Give him your shirt.”

“No!” He exclaims indignantly. “You give him your shirt.”

Poe glances at Solo, then lowers his voice. “Just give it!” They whisper back and forth frantically until Finn finally grimaces. Holding Poe’s gaze with a glare, he quickly shucks off his shirt and holds it out to the man still sprawled on the ground. 

Ben Solo takes it without making eye contact. “Thanks”, he mutters. Groaning, he hauls himself into a seated position and drapes the garment across his lap. The others stand there awkwardly, as Ben buries his face in his hands and continues to breathe deeply. 

Suddenly, his head snaps up, a deep frown creasing his brow. Anxiously, his eyes scan the empty space, the three travelers. Then his body stiffens. 

“Rey…. Where- where is Rey?” His heavy gaze flickers between them, but neither of them can meet it. Ben’s tone is louder now, urgent. “Where is she?!” His voice cracks when his eyes fall on Finn. “Did something happen-?!” 

Swallowing down his own feelings, Finn finally meets the Force-user's frantic gaze. He’s shocked by the raw emotion he finds in those dark eyes. 

Well, there’s no point in lying. This is why he’s here in the first place. Finn clears his throat. 

“Yes.”


	2. The Fall

“What do you mean!” Ben is on his feet before the words have left his mouth. Staggering, he lurches toward Finn in desperation, but loses his balance and has to catch himself on a nearby boulder. Both men jump back to avoid his falling body, not bothering to try to help in any way. With one hand Ben clutches the borrowed shirt to his groin, but the other is clenched in a fist as he stares up at Rey’s friends, heart clenching. 

Rey...

“What happened? Is she hurt?! Is she alright?”

Finn swallows, gazing down at him with wide eyes. Ben can’t figure out if Finn's scared of him or just taken aback by his intensity. 

“No, she’s not hurt.” Poe is quick reassure. “She’s fine… It’s just-.” Poe glances at Finn, who’s biting his lip, avoiding Ben’s gaze. 

“I think- I think she went to the Dark Side…” He admits quietly. Then finally glances at Ben. 

What?! Eyes blinking rapidly, Ben shakes his head. His brain has been slow and thick since waking up from- well from the dead, he supposes. But it’s beginning to clear. Still, he doesn’t understand. The Dark Side? What does that mean?

He doesn’t need to ask before Finn begins to explain. 

“When she came back from Exegol, from killing the Emperor, she didn’t really tell us what happened. She said told us that you turned back to the Light, that you helped her defeat him, and then you…”

“Died”, Ben supplies. 

“Yeah that. Anyway, she didn’t really explain all the details about your- relationship- the whole Dyad thing. We had no idea that she was apparently suffering with some heavy grief. She didn’t know how to handle it, and because she didn’t tell us, we couldn’t help her. She also never really got a chance to process the whole situation with Palpatine being her grandfather and her parents being, well, murdered.” Finn scratches his neck. “And that’s another thing she didn’t really explain; the circumstances of the Emperor’s death. He wanted her to kill him so his spirit and the rest of the Sith could pass into her so they could rule through her, right?”

“Right…” There’s a sinking sensation beginning in the pit of Ben’s stomach, and it’s getting worse the longer Finn speaks. He just came back to life; he thinks, and he already feels like dying again. 

“Well, after we got everything cleaned up after the war, Rey said she was going to visit Tatooine, to rest and get her head straight after everything that had happened. We didn’t really think anything of it. But then she was gone a lot longer that we’d expected. 

“Four months to be exact”, Poe interjects, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, so we-.” Wait a minute! Four months!?

“Four Months?” Again, Ben tries to leap to his feet, but it doesn’t exactly work because his legs don’t seem to have registered that they’re alive and supposed to be working. As he crashes back onto the boulder again, he scrapes his butt cheek pretty bad on a rough edge. “How long has it been since Exegol?” He asks through gritted teeth, rubbing at the offending scratches in his tender flesh. 

“Over a year now”, Poe replies, and 3PO is happy to supply; “Exactly a year, three months, two days, and sixteen hours.” Ben resists the urge to roll his eyes at his old baby-sitter. 

A year? Oh, Rey… Poor Rey. The realization that it’s been over a year since he’d last seen her, held her in his arms and felt her hand on his face, makes him ache on the inside. And she’s had to live with his death all this time?! Ben can’t imagine going on that long after watching her die. He doesn’t think he could live with the pain.

Eyeing him cautiously, Finn continues. “After four months of vague transmissions and brief holo messages, I decided to go see her. She was…” He looks searches Ben’s face, then glances away. “worse than I’d thought. Basically, she was in really bad shape. She poured out her heart; said she felt like half of her soul was missing.” Ben flinches at that. “She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. She hadn’t bathed in quite some time. She’d been just wasting away in an old hut on Tatooine.”

Biting his lip, Ben tries to force down a broiling anger deep in his stomach. All this was because of him… and he couldn’t even be there to help her get through it. He would have protected her. He would have taken care of her, just like he still plans to if they ever get off this planet; assuming she still wants him. 

“I made her food, gave her a pep talk. I listened when she told me everything she was going through. Which was a lot to take in, because last I knew you were just an enemy turned ally to her, instead of- whatever you are now.” He looks pointedly at Ben. 

Speaking of; that’s actually a good question. What are they now, to each other? Dyad doesn’t nearly seem to cover it. They were already so much more even before they knew the Dyad existed. 

“She kept rambling about all this Force stuff, which I didn’t understand. Then suddenly, she seemed to feel a lot better. She took a shower, started polishing her blaster. I thought she’d gotten over the worst of it. So, when she told me to go on home, that she’d be fine; I did, promising to come by and visit in a few days.” “When I visited the next few times, she seemed fine. A little distracted maybe, but fine. She said she had a project she was working on that was keeping her busy. So, I stopped worrying. I went on with my busy life, with all my new responsibilities.”

Rolling his eyes, Poe crosses his arms across his chest and gives Finn a pointed glare. “Little did I know this was all happening. He didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t know Rey was having any problems at all.”

But Finn only shrugs a little sheepishly. “Well, she asked me not to. It was personal. Anyway, we started out new jobs of rebuilding the galaxy, while unbeknownst to us, Rey was experimenting with the Dark Side. She was trying to bring you back”, he tells Ben. But it doesn’t make him feel any better. “And she was willing to do whatever it took. But she didn’t really know how to start.”

“She found this secret Sith planet”, Poe explains, glad to finally get in on the conversation. “There was a temple there where the Dark Side is strongest. She started studying Sith texts and listening to Sith spirits. She learned a lot about her grandfather, how he also wanted to learn to bring people back to life.”

“Only he never could”, Finn interjects. “So far, the only one who’s ever been able to accomplish that on his own, is you.” Despite the circumstances, Ben can’t help feeling the tiniest swell of pride. But it’s immediately replaced with concern. 

He knows the Dark Side, intimately. He’d lived all of his adult life clasped tight in its barbed embrace. The Dark Side means only one thing: misery, pain, selfishness, and hopelessness. He’s experienced it, and he never wants to go back. It’s the last thing in the Galaxy he wants for Rey. And knowing he contributed to it… 

“Well, a couple weeks ago, we got a message about some strange activity on one of the Outer Rim planets. Turns out, Rey had recruited some assistants. They were demolishing sacred sites on this planet looking for Sith Artifacts. When we sent some people there, they returned saying they’d seen Rey leading these men.” 

“We couldn’t believe it!” Dropping his head, Finn mutters. “There was just no way this could be true.”

Poe nods sadly. “So, we went to Tatooine. She wasn’t there. Then, by tracking her followers, we were able to find this Sith planet where she’d set up base.”

“We tried to reason with her, but she wouldn’t listen. She was wild; insane. She kept talking about revenge and all the Force had done to her, and how she was going to make them all pay for what she’s suffered.” Finn looks truly distressed. And Ben, strangely, finds no instinct to disbelieve him inside himself. “She ordered us to leave, had her guards round us up and press us against the doors.”

“She was so angry…” Poe whispers. “I’ve never seen anyone look like that before. She looked like a feral animal, sickly and pale. It was horrible!”

“I was.” Agrees Finn, meeting Poe’s gaze and sharing an intimate look. Then he turns back to Ben. “We really tried to get her to come home. She was too angry. She tried to force us out using the Force. It could have killed us if we weren’t ready. We were able to escape with our lives, but just barely.” A heavy pause. “I almost believe that she was so angry in that moment that she really would’ve done it.” 

No. This isn’t right! This isn’t her, not his Rey. Rey is wild and impulsive, but never destructive! Ben’s head is beginning to throb. He thinks he might be sick. Somehow he’d died in a world he’d thought peace had been restored to, but now he’s woken up in a nightmare! 

Suddenly, Finn has taken several steps forward and is leaning down so that they’re level with each other. Ben is slightly taken aback. The last time they’d been this close was when Ben- then Kylo- had him pressed against a tree with his cross guard lightsaber burning into Finn’s arm. He flinches at the memory. All of a sudden, he’s the one having trouble looking Finn in the eye. 

“But, Solo”, Finn says, a deadly serious tone lowering his voice. “Just before we left, she told us what she’s plans to do, her big project…” There’s a heavy pause while the Rebel’s eyes shift between his, voice lowering even further. “She said she’s going to destroy the Force.” 

What?! His exclamation is more laugh than anything else. The idea is so preposterous! Destroy the Force!? The Living Force is a part of all things, binding the universe together. Neither the Jedi nor the Sith actually have any power over it. They are only able to draw from it, like borrowing energy. But no one could ever destroy it!  


How could Rey possibly be this clueless?

“That’s- not possible.” Ben guffaws. “I don’t know what she was talking about, but that can’t be it.” He looks from Finn to Poe, but they’re both still sporting deathly serious expressions. “Take it from me. I know more about this than any of you. That’s impossible!” 

“Oh, I think that’s exactly what she meant.” Finn replies, stepping back and crossing his arms. “You didn’t see her in that moment. I did. Whatever she meant when she said that, she had every intention of carrying through.” 

For some reason this rubs Ben the wrong way, but he decides to contain it. 

“So, in conclusion.” Poe says, sidling up to Finn and bringing an arm up to lean against his shoulder, “That’s why we’re here. At first, we had no idea what to do. We figured we’d probably all just die, because we can’t stop her! But then Finn had all these special feelings…” He winks at the other man. “And then he remembered this place he’d read about. And here we are. And that’s why you’re here too; to help us stop her.” 

“To help us save her”, corrects Finn. “You’re the only one who can.”

This time, when Ben attempts to stand, his legs don’t turn to jelly. Wrapping the sleeves of the shirt around his waist- they’re barely long enough- and tying them off, he stands to his full height, lifting his chin. “Alright then. Looks like we have no time to waste.” 

He nods once to Poe. “Take me to your ship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok seriously, I don't know what I'm getting myself into. I really should be working on my other WIPs... but I just couldn't resist! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think, and weather I should continue.


	3. The Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah, it’s good to be home”, Poe sighs as he starts down the ship’s ramp, box of supplies in his arms and boots clanking loudly on the sturdy metal. Finn is right behind him, skirting around Ben, who stands just inside the opening, now dressed in a pair of Poe’s old clothes.

The camp is small; just several low, flat-roofed buildings nestled in a clearing in the forest. A line of clunky ships and freighters settled along the perimeter mark the end of where they’d been able to clear away the thick growth enough to manage. The trees around them shudder and whip about as their small ship- Poe’s ship lands just inside the clearing. Even though the window, Ben is surprised at how lush and green this place is. He hasn’t been anywhere this alive in a very long time.

After a year of cleaning up the remnants of the First Order, and helping to set a new government in place, Poe and Finn had just as much of leadership and responsibility as they could stand. So, when they’d heard about a new settlement being established on Ajan Kloss, the location of their former- and final, Resistance Base; they’d both jumped on the opportunity. Of course, they hadn’t known then that they’d be put in charge when they arrived and that most of their Resistance friends would come with them. 

“Ah, it’s good to be home”, Poe sighs as he starts down the ship’s ramp, box of supplies in his arms and boots clanking loudly on the sturdy metal. Finn is right behind him, skirting around Ben, who stands just inside the opening, now dressed in a pair of Poe’s old clothes. 

Ben bites his lip, fingers digging into lip of the inner wall. This is the first time he’ll be seeing people since he was resurrected- hell, the first time since he’d become Ben again. What if they recognize him? Undoubtedly, they’ll have questions. He’s not sure he’s ready for all that; ready to look people in the eyes, who could’ve have loved ones whose deaths he is indirectly or directly responsible for. 

That’s not him anymore, is it? But he still wears the same pale, brooding face. And when he’d tossed away his old lightsaber and surrendered to the light finally breaking forth inside him, he hadn’t pictured the afterward, living in a Galaxy he’d worked to destroy. He’d only been focused on helping Rey, on doing the right thing for one in his miserable life. 

But now it’s here. He’s alive, and he has to face what might be the scariest thing of all. 

“Master Ben.” He hadn’t noticed C-3PO coming up behind him, through his own thoughts. Stiffening, Ben reluctantly lowers his clenched fist, but he doesn’t look at the droid. 

“Aren’t you going out, Sir? It will be just about time for the morning meal. I’m sure it’ll be welcome after such a long night.” 

Ben narrows his eyes. He can feel his breath, coming quicker, anxiety prickling on his skin. Memories- too many memories- flood his head at the sound of the droid’s tinny voice. He’d known Ben since the day he was born. But that also means he’d witnessed firsthand the betrayal, the hurt and destruction he’d caused his own family. Though 3PO’s voice is soft; every syllable feels like a pang of guilt. 

“Yeah. I guess I will.” He growls inwardly. Why is just being close to this freaking droid almost enough to make him cry!?

“This may not be the right time”, 3PO begins, “But I thought you should know. This is the place where Princess Leia- your mother passed away. I wasn’t with her when it happened, but I wish I had been.” 

So, this big gold bucket-head is trying to make him cry!

Princess Leia. His mother. Mom. C-3PO may not have been with her in her final moments, but Ben was. He’d heard her voice, felt her slipping away, in tandem with own Life Force until Rey had healed him and pulled him back from the brink. She’d used the last of her energy to speak to him. But it had been enough. And he would be forever grateful. 

Blinking rapidly, feeling the crack in his chest yawn even wider, Ben swallows thickly. His voice breaks when he finally replies, “No… I didn’t know.” But a moment later. “Thank you, 3PO…” He turns his head just slightly, to look the droid in the face. He owes him that much. “It makes her feel closer to know that.” 

If droids could smile, Ben thinks that this one might. 3PO inclines his head, and then with the squeak of machinery, he starts down the ramp, into the greenery beyond. 

Of course, the person who gave him his first lecture in life is would be the same to give him the one that helps him begins his new life. And so, squaring his shoulders, taking a very deep breath, he follows the old droid down the ramp, stepping in to the sunlight; as for the first time. 

There are a lot of people milling about, as he’d suspected, but none of them cast him a second glance. Which is just fine by him. Not seeing Finn or Poe around anywhere, Ben follows the shift in traffic that begins when a clanging rings out from a large building on the other side of the clearing. That must be the mess hall.  
Once outside the door, Ben pauses again. What is he even doing? He can’t just waltz in and pretend like he belongs here. People might not recognize him in a crowd, but someone surely will seated across the table from him. Where did those two Rebel guys go anyway?!

Suddenly a figure emerges from the double doors. Ben is about to jump out of the way and start walking in the other direction, when he realizes it’s Finn. 

“Oh, hey.” Finn says. It looks like the ex-Stormtrooper is still at a loss for how to act around him or what to call him. “I’ve got us food.” He glances down at the two bowls in his hands, and Ben does too. “I figured it’d be best if you don’t eat in there. We haven’t exactly figured out what we’re gonna tell them about you.” 

“Oh, yes. Probably a good idea.” Letting out a sigh of relief he turns to follow Finn across the camp, and down a trail through the trees. 

“You’ll be staying in my house”, Finn explains, not bothering to turn around. “We didn’t know where else to put you, and Poe’s place is even smaller than mine.” Just up ahead is a small, hunched building nestled in the trees. There’s probably only three rooms inside and the outside is just bare wood, but it looks comfortable enough. 

A little awkwardly, Finn hands Ben the bowls as he opens the door and leads the way inside. There’s a main area with cooking utensils, counters, and a table. In the corner, behind a moldy green tarp, a fresher and toilet are nestled in the corner. Nice. 

Ben bites his lip as Finn clears the table and then takes the bowls from Ben. Then, not looking him directly in the eye, motions for him to sit. Ben does, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. In all honesty, he hadn’t expected Finn to be so nice to him, and frankly it’s a little unnerving. He doesn’t know how to respond.  
They eat in silence. They don’t have anything to talk about besides the situation with Rey, and that’s the last thing to clear the air between them. And besides, the food is good. Porridge with nuts and seeds, sprinkled with a layer of sweet fruit in a thick sauce. It’s the first thing he’s eaten since he came back to life, besides an old ration bar, and it tastes like heaven. 

After their finished, Finn tosses both bowls into the sink and motions for Ben to join him inside one of the rooms off the main one. Its full of old junk, boxes that haven’t been unpacked, but there’s a small, low bed in the corner, which Finn immediately points to. “You can sleep here.” He glances around at the junk. “Sorry it’s a mess. This is usually just a storage room.” Ben merely nods. Its not so bad. And he doesn’t owe Ben even this. 

He leaves Ben alone for a moment and Ben can hear him rooting around in his bedroom. When he comes out, he’s holding a pile of clothes in his hands. “Here”, he says, handing them to Ben. “They may not be what you’re used to, but they should fit.”

Thank the maker! He has got to get out Poe’s clothes. He’s covered head to foot in all kaki! 

Taking the pile, he stares down at the dark fabric a moment before meeting Finn’s gaze. “Thank you.” He means it for so much more than the clothes. But Finn only nods. He turns to go, but Ben isn’t finished. 

“I wanted to say…” Oh hell, this is going to sound so awkward coming out of his mouth, but I he needs to do this. “I wanted to say; I’m sorry. For everything.” There’s a long silence in which Finn just stares at him, jaw clenched. 

“I know what I did was wrong.” He continues quickly, before he loses his nerve. “I hurt a lot of people. I hurt you… I’m not asking you to forgive me, but-.” 

“I get it”, Finn cuts him off before he has a chance to finish. “I was there, in the First Order. I know what it’s like; ruthless, devoid of hope. I did some things I’m not proud of while I was there. And I didn’t have Snoke or Palpatine, or whatever in my head.” 

Ben is blown away, stunned to silence. He watches as Finn crosses the space and sits down on a crate across from him. 

“Rey explained everything. How you had those guys in your head since before you were born.” Ben begins to open his mouth, but Finn hurries on. “That doesn’t justify all the terrible things you did. But I understand. I trust Rey when she says you’re a different person now. Hell, anyone who’s ever seen you before can tell that you’re not still Kylo Ren.” 

Kylo Ren. Those words are like a brand on his skin. Somewhere deep in his chest seers at the sound. 

Ben nods. “That’s right. I’m not.” 

They exchange a long look before Finn replies. “I’m not say it’ll be easy. And I’m not saying I forgive you exactly… but I am saying I understand. I get it.” And really, that’s all Ben can hope for. 

Again, Finn stands to go, swiveling toward the doorway, but then he halts, glances over his shoulder. “There is one thing I’ve been wanting to ask you.” 

Please, whatever you do; he thinks. Don’t ask about the nature of my relationship with Rey! I don’t even know myself. All I know is that I love her and that I’d die for her again, and I don’t know how to explain that! 

“That night on Jakku, my very first mission. I didn’t fire on the villagers. Phasma gave the order, but I didn’t fire.” Their gazes lock, just as they had on that fateful night so long ago. And, for a second, they’re transported back to that moment; seeing each other across the battlefield, through the visors of their own masks. Finn swallows before continuing. “You walked by and then you stopped and looked at me. And I could tell you knew exactly what I’d done. I thought you were going to have me imprisoned or shot on the spot, but you didn’t. You just turned and got back on your ship.” Lowering himself back to the crate, Finn leans in, searching Ben’s face. 

“You knew, didn’t you? You read my mind.” And when Ben nods, he shakes his head in confusion. “Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you just impale me with your lightsaber for being a traitor?” 

Ben takes a long moment to think. He doesn’t like return to the old, twisted headspace of Kylo Ren. It stings worse than he’d thought it could. “I- I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?!” Finn looks genuinely distressed. “I used to lie awake wondering about this for hours, and you don’t know?!” 

Ben sighs. “I told you. I was a different person. But I guess, I recognized something in you. I remembered that moment, when I was in your place; having to make that impossible decision.” He can’t look the other man in the eyes. “I made the wrong one; and it cost me my life. But you made the right decision. Secretly, deep inside, I hated myself for doing the wrong thing all those years ago. And then, I hated myself for hating myself for that. Some part of me always wondered what my life would have been if I’d made the right one.” They lock eyes, finally on equal ground. “I didn’t want to punish you for having the courage I didn’t. I envied you.” It’s a strange revelation, even to Ben. 

“I liked to think; if I’d done the right thing, that I’d begiven a second chance too.”

There’s a moment of reflective silence- but not uncomfortable- as Ben’s words sink in. Finn takes the time, starring at his clasped hands. Then slowly, he rises from the crate again and turns to go. 

“And, Solo…” Just inside the doorframe, he glances back. He shrugs when Ben raises an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks for telling me.”

And now; Ben thinks, to finally to get out of Dameron’s freaking clothes, that look like something his uncle would have worn when he was younger, and smell like they haven’t been watched since! 

…

Dressed in clean clothes and feeling a million times more comfortable, Ben reclines on the bed, which is barely long enough for his height. Maybe he’ll just take a few minutes to rest his eyes. Before the day is over, they need to work out a plan and by the crack of dawn, he wants to be in the sky, on his way to get Rey! But right now, he’s utterly exhausted; emotionally and physically. It still feels like he died yesterday instead of over a year ago!

His eyes have just fallen shut, when there’s a deep hum from somewhere outside the house. Blinking sleepily, Ben cocks his head, listening. That sound. A ship must be landing just outside. It sounds so familiar. Like- like… 

Jumping up, he bounds to the door and yanks it open, causing Finn to look up from where he’s washing dishes in the sink. The younger man frowns. “Solo?” He stares at Ben hurries by him and bursts through the outside door, heart hammering. “Solo, what are you-?”

That sound! That ship! He’d know it anywhere! 

Jogging to a stop at the edge of the trees, Ben cranes his neck as a large, round shadow descends on the clearing. And he watches with a strange mix of grief and comfort as the Millennium Falcon touches down in front of him. 

Even before the Wookie comes tromping down the ramp, Ben can sense him inside his father’s ship. The old girl has taken a beating since the days Han and Chewie used to take him out on practice runs, letting the small boy sit in the pilot seat. Ben wants to go to her, to stroke the dents and scorch marks across her hull. But before he can even take a step, Chewbacca is barreling towards him. 

Ben doesn’t have time to be frightened. All he can think as the wall of fur collides with him is: if you’re going to kill me, just please just wait until I’ve been able to see Rey again. 

But to his astonishment, the Wookie doesn’t simply let him fall to the ground after crashing into him, but wraps his arms around him, keeping him upright, cradling him to his chest. Just now, Ben feels two years old again. He had never been scared of Chewie, not even when he was a newborn- Han liked to tell the story- until that day on Starkiller Base, when the blaster bolt had lodged in his side, and they’d locked eyes across the chasm. 

But Ben has been afraid of him ever since. Even when the Knights of Ren had captured the Wookie and brought him in as a prisoner, he had been afraid. And now, with Chewie wrapped around him, releasing little contented grunts into the top of his head, he wonders how he ever could have been. When the Wookie finally lets go, Ben shakily takes a step back, craning his neck. This is the first person he’s had to look up to in a while. It feels somehow comforting, like he’s smaller somehow; less person to be such a mess. 

“Chewbacca…” He doesn’t know what to say. And Chewie is just standing there, starring at him. He had hugged Ben, but maybe he really is angry after all. Which he has every right to be! No matter how long Ben lives in this big wide Galaxy; he’ll never be able to forget the heart-wrenching cry the Wookie had let out as Han Solo fell off and into the abys. 

He swallows again. “Chewbacca… I- I know I can’t-.” Why is this so difficult? Why are there tears leaking out the corners of his eyes, wetting his lashes? “I can’t make up for all that I’ve- It’s unforgivable.” He’s rambling now, shaking his head, exhaling little shuddering breaths. “I- I…”

“I’ve already forgiven you, Ben.” 

W-what? Mouth a jar, Ben blinks rapidly. He can’t comprehend the words, and it’s not just the translation. “No. I…”

“I forgive you…” Chewie says again, this time reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “Just like Han did.” 

No. It’s not supposed to be this easy! He needs to work for it, prove himself. He didn’t even say he’s sorry yet. But his old friend doesn’t seem to care about all that, instead, skipping to the part where he takes Ben into his arms and lets him sob away this guilt and shame, until he emerges; a little freer. So, this time, when Chewie’s arms open, Ben doesn’t hesitate. 

After the tears have dissipated and Ben’s regained his composure, there’s a soft cough from somewhere behind him. Then his head shoots up. He’d forgotten about Finn… Wiping his nose with a borrowed sleeve, he turns, rather sheepishly to find Finn is leaning against the side of the house, quietly watching. 

“You came.” He says to Chewie, “You said you weren’t going to.” 

Poe and Finn had told Ben earlier about their visit to see Chewie, where he was living on his home planet; sharing custody of the Falcon with Uncle Lando. They’d told him their plan, everything that had happened. They thought for sure he’d want to come, to help save Rey. But he’d been emphatic. He wanted nothing to do with the Skywalkers anymore, or the man who had killed his best friend. It had hurt Ben more than he’d care to admit, but he couldn’t blame the Wookie. 

But now, here he is! And he hasn’t tried to punch Ben once!

Moving to rest on an old stump, Chewie explains. He’d been angry. It had taken over a year; but he’d made peace with Leia’s passing- with Ben’s, with the fact that they’d never have the chance to reconcile. He’s old. And being home, being done with the war, had agreed with him. But when Poe and Finn had come bursting in, disturbing his peace. No! He couldn’t do it! He’d thought he’d but it behind him, but he wasn’t ready to reopen those old wounds. So, he said no. 

“Poe sent me a com”, he tells them. “He said they’d really done it; they’d brought you back. All of a sudden, I couldn’t be angry any longer… not at my best friend’s son.” He and Ben share a look. “I knew I’d never have peace until I saw you.” 

“Ben, I came to help you get Rey back.” And a new light glimmers in the Wookie’s eyes, a knowing glint. He knows. Somehow, he knows the whole truth. And it’s a relief to be with someone who understands just how much he loves her. 

“Thank you, Chewie.” It’s still hard to talk around the lump in his throat. “We’ll get her back! I know we will!” 

“And speaking of…” None of them notices Poe’s arrival, until he almost upon them. Cocking an eyebrow, he moves in to stand in the circle beside Finn. “You got a plan, Solo?” 

Ben finds himself matching the hot-shot pilot’s cocky tone. He’s had just as much of Dameron pretending to be superior as he can stand. Standing himself, Ben folds his arms and gazes down at him. “I think so, but I’m going to need you to tell me everything about this Sith planet where she’s at. And I’ll need to see a map.” 

For Poe’s own sake, Ben pretends not to notice the way Dameron throws his shoulders back and straightens his spine, in an effort to appear taller. “Now that, I can do. Follow me.” 

Ben watches as the others start down the trail, toward Poe’s shack; happy to take up the rear. Finally, they’re getting somewhere! And tomorrow- TOMORROW- he might finally see Rey again! His stomach flutters at the thought, along with a clenching in his gut. He hopes somehow, she knows he’s on his way, even though he can’t sense her. 

Hold on, Rey. I’m coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'm really starting to enjoy this one. Hope you are too!
> 
> Please leave a comment to tell me what you think.


	4. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She has just reached the door when she feels it; a humming sensation at the base of her skull. Something is not right. An energy in the Force has shifted… She whips her head round toward the entrance to the bridge. It’s cast in archways of shadow, but the light is still enough to make out a shadowy figure just inside the first arch.

The planet is called Regeeth II. And it’s probably the last place anyone in their right mind would want to make their home. 

Built upon a crumbling foundation, twin towers loom in the sunless sky above the planet’s surface; a surface composed mostly of a frothing shallow sea with islands of barren land poking up here and there. Devoid of all life, Regeeth II only gets about one month of sunshine in each cycle from the light of its nineteen suns combined. If it weren’t for the heat from the planet’s molten core, the surface would be inhabitable, rather than just unpleasant. 

As the Falcon comes in for a landing in the shadow of the second tower, Finn joins Poe at the window, gazing out into the near perfect darkness outside. Despite it only being just after noon, the surrounding landscape is pitch dark, except for the light filtering down from the windows of the tower above. 

He shivers a little at the reminder of what it had been like last time; seeing Rey like that- even being afraid of her. This time will be different, he insists. Because this time, they have him. 

Finn glances into the cockpit where Ben Solo is seated in the pilot’s chair, looking right at home- which he probably is- fingers adjusting the controls with precision, bringing the ship safely down to solid ground. He looks relaxed, more relaxed than Finn has ever seen him, and contented; but most of all, he looks determined. Which is exactly what they need right now. 

In the co-pilot seat, Chewbacca leans over and pats Ben on the shoulder, growling fondly. Ben shakes him off playfully, shooting his old friend a wide smile. It dies when he notices Finn- and Poe watching. Finn’s not sure he’ll ever get used to this dynamic. They make a strange pair and it’s even weirder seeing Solo actually getting along with someone for once. 

Beside Finn, Poe sighs, turning away from the sight to continue furiously stuffing his satchel with supplies. Bad mood doesn’t even begin to cover the state his friend’s in today. It had all started with the meeting this morning, when Ben had immediately taken charge, talking over Poe several times. But with gritted teeth, he’d waited it out. 

Things had only gotten worse when they boarded the Falcon. 

Chewie had already been in the co-pilot seat when both Poe and Ben had entered the cockpit. On instinct, Poe being Poe and all, had started toward the pilot’s chair at the same time Ben had. They both froze. Poe was always the pilot; on every expedition! But Ben was Han Solo’s son- even if he was also the reason Han wasn’t around anymore. Technically, the Falcon belonged to him by birth. 

While Finn watched on with mounting anxiety, Chewie merely watched the scene unfold in interest. The two men stared at each other down for several long moments, tension rising between them. Ben’s lips twitched in the semblance of a smirk, while Poe’s features were dark. Finally breaking the contact, Poe glanced down at the pilot seat. “Were you going to…?” 

“Yes.” The other man had replied simply. 

“Because I’d be happy to-.” 

“I got it actually.” And with that, Ben had slipped around Poe and into the chair where his father had practically lived in his most of his life. It really only seemed fair. It was his family’s ship, and he was an excellent pilot. Except Poe didn’t really see it that way…

“You good”, Finn asks, turning to face his friend. 

“Fine.” 

“Poe.” He places a hand on Poe’s arm and twists him around to face him. Poe still doesn’t look him in the eye. “I need you to be good. You gotta have my back out there if we’re gonna make this thing work.”

Sighing, Poe claps his hand around Finn’s hand on his shoulder. “I am.” He promises, meeting Finn’s worried gaze. “It just… last time…” Finn nods; he knows exactly what he’s talking about. “She was about ready to murder us. I could see it in her eyes. If we get captured again…”

“We won’t.”

He tries to look more deeply into Poe’s eyes, to convince him, but he glances away, over at Solo, saying; “And I still don’t know if I trust him yet.” When he turns back, their faces are mere inches away. “If we get captured again, and all we have to rely on is him. What if she turns him again. She turned him back to the light side before; who says she can’t do it again?” 

“Hey, hey!” Moving in even closer, Finn shakes his head. “You have to stop talking this way. We got this.” They both seem to realize at the same time that Poe’s hand is still cupped around Finn’s. They both quickly pull away, averting their gazes. 

As if things haven’t been weird enough between them lately. 

“I could really use a lightsaber at a time like this.” Bursting out of the cockpit and brushing by Poe and Finn, Ben begins rummaging in some of the storage units that fold into the walls of the old ship. 

“Unfortunately, we’re fresh out of those.” Finn says, watching him. “You’ll have to make do with a blaster, just like the rest of us.”

“A blaster really not my weapon of choice”, Ben mutters, still scrounging around in old tools and bolts and junk. “I don’t exactly have one either.”

Hmm. Sidestepping Poe, Finn finds his own bag lying on the sofa of the main room. Digging through the contence, he crosses back over to Solo and holds out his hand. Ben doesn’t notice at first, preoccupied, but freezes when he sees the blaster the younger man is holding out to him. 

For several seconds, Ben glances from the blaster to Finn, as if uncertain what to do. “Here, take it.” Finn nudges it closer. “I’ve got a better one anyway.” He smirks and wraps his other hand around the grip of the blaster Han Solo had given him, hanging at his side. He’s never going to let that one go.

Finally, Solo takes it hesitantly, testing its weight in his hand. Then, grinning, he spins it a few times and then slips it into his holster. “Thanks.” Finn nods in acknowledgement. 

“Okay”, says Ben, when they’re all packed up, sporting blasters (a Bowcaster in Chewie’s case) explosives, and portable coms units. “Everyone clear on the plan?” He glances around the circle while the others nod their heads. “Com in when you get inside. Let’s go and-.” This is the place where his mother would have said something like, ‘may the Force be with you’. Ben hesitates for several beats too long, then shrugs. “And good luck.” 

It even darker outside than Finn had anticipated. A hot breeze wafts into their faces as he, Poe, and Chewie switch on their lights and jog across the gravely terrain toward the base of the tower. The ground floor is unguarded; Rey doesn’t have that many followers to post on every floor. They won’t have to worry about company until they’ve climbed several flights of stairs. 

Around the bottom of the tower, six archways cut into the stone, all lead to one large staircase that ascends into the actual building. Quickly and quietly, they climb it, and then enter the dimly lit passageway on the main floor. 

“There’s an elevator.” Chewie is quick to point out. 

But Poe just shakes his head, motioning to the staircase at the other end of the corridor. “It doesn’t work. She’s cut off power to the lower half. Trust me; we tried it last time.” 

So, up and up they climb. Each level is the same; a long, narrow passageway lined with doors to empty rooms, and at the end, another staircase. With each floor, the lighting grows brighter, until the group emerges, winded and alert, into a corridor bright with unnatural white light. “Next one up is where things start to get tricky.” Finn confirms. 

Weapons drawn, the crew skirts their way down the sides of the hallway, checking each doorway to make sure it’s empty. And pausing at the foot of the stairs, Poe exchanges a look with each of his companions. “Ready?” And with their confirmation and a deep inhale, he and Finn slam their backs against the walls on each side and rush up the stairs, Chewie taking up the rear.

They’re greeted by a completely different environment as soon as the reach the top. Shiny black walls and floors. A huge open room with large curved windows and filled with square pedestals. There are strange objects seated on top of each pedestal, some encased in glass. But Finn doesn’t have time to take them in; he and Finn are shoulder to shoulder arms extended, blasters raised and whipping back and forth, searching for a target. 

“There’s no one here?” Frowning, Finn glances at his friends. Fanning out across the room, weapons at the ready, they search the entire space, then meet at the doorway at the other side. There are no more stairs from here. The elevator is the only way up now. 

The moment Poe’s hand flashes across the control panel beside the door, Finn knows something’s wrong. He can feel it in his- gut? Or wherever you feel the Force. And a moment later, alarms begin to blare, the lights above flashing blinding white. “Shit!” Poe cries out. 

“Get back”, Finn starts to say, motioning with his blaster. But he’s too late! In the next second, the doors are sliding open and several men dressed all in black, with helmets covering their faces and blasters in hand, begin pouring out of the elevator. It’s all Finn, Poe, and Chewie can do to scramble backwards and duck behind the pedestals before blaster bolts rain out across the room. 

“Shit!”

…

It’s a warm night. A peaceful night. A good night for meditating on all that had been learned today. Inhaling a deep sigh, her back falls against the cool surface as she reclines on her throne, the stillness of the night settling on Rey’s shoulders. 

‘Rey, who?’ The old woman had asked her on her first day on Tatooine. ‘Rey Skywalker’, she’d replied. With astounding clarity the moment returns to her; the terrible hollowness in the empty cavity where her heart had once been, the false hopefulness she’d conjured in hopes that the beginning of a new life would be enough to make the ache for a chance to do it all over again- to die instead, go away. Well, no longer… After she’d left, after she’d opened herself up to Dark Side of the Force as well as the Light, she’d considered returning to the name she was born with, but never knew. The final revenge against the Light; all they did was take and take. Rey Palpatine. But she had decided none people who had manipulated her throughout the years deserved the honor. 

Deep down, somewhere in the smallest part of her, she called herself by a different name. It wasn’t really hers either, though it could have been if- if things had been different. But she would never speak that name out loud, couldn’t bare even to think it. It hurt too much. And not the good kind of pain, that fuels your basest instincts and drives the fire inside. But the kind that cripples. The kind she cannot afford. 

The wind coming in through the windows blows strands of hair into her face, her eyes; it whispers to her, along with the other voices swirling inside her head. No matter. Her hair was already a mess. Shoulders aching, she revels in the soreness lingering, along with the images of the wall of stone she’d just spent the better part of two hours cutting to ribbons with her double-bladed lightsaber. It was her daily routine; study, search, meditate and then practice her fighting techniques.

Not that it really mattered. No one alive in the Galaxy today would stand a chance against her. 

In through the haze of her thoughts, past the tangle of voices- some real and some her own- comes a sound, a disturbance in the Force. A tiny flicker of anger ignites inside her. She had made it clear; she was not to be disturbed. 

Sweeping her hair back from her face, Rey rises from her throne and descends the stairs of the raised platform. It is not a comfortable chair, nor is it actually hers. It had belonged to a Sith long dead. But the throne suited her. Many a night, she preferred it to the bed- so empty- in her chambers. It was easier to keep a clear head, easier not to cry. Her discarded lightsaber, still yellow on one side and red on the other from a stolen crystal, flies into her hand as she crosses the expanse of the throne room. 

Outside the world is pitch black. The sky is so cloudy she can’t see even one star. Keels of her black boots clicking on the marble floor, Rey arrives at the door and with a flick of her hand, shoves them open to make way. Immediately she knows something is wrong. Her guards aren’t posted outside, on either side of the doors, as they were commanded. Instead the open entrance hall is empty and the faint blare of sirens from a distant floor can be heard. 

Growling to herself, Rey marches toward the door on the other end of the entry hall. The narrow passage is nearly entirely open to the air, only a short railing on either side. Just beside the door is an off shoot, and even thinner passage that is actually a bridge that connects the two towers. 

Rey has just reached the door when she feels it; a humming sensation at the base of her skull. Something is not right. An energy in the Force has shifted…

Rey whips her head round toward the entrance to the bridge. It’s cast in archways of shadow, but the light is still enough to make out a shadowy figure just inside the first arch. Swallowing, she takes a step, turning to face the stranger, but she does not ignite her saber. His back to her, the tall stranger is draped in a dark cloak. 

She doesn’t seem to need to say a word. For, after several breaths, he turns and takes few steps in her direction. Rey waits, her heart hammering, but her hands steady. The only sound in the passage is their combined breaths. 

When the figure has finally stepped into the full light, he pauses. What is he waiting for? Then, slowly he lifts his hands and throws back the hood, lifting his face and revealing it to her. 

It’s- it’s BEN!

She freezes. She does not breathe. This is a dream. A cruel nightmare! This cannot be real. 

And yet his chest rises and falls with breath. There is no blue glow surrounding him either. His lovely features are warm and soft. And when she looks into his eyes…  
“Ben?” She sobs. “Ben!” The look in his eyes is purer than joy and more love than exists in the whole Galaxy. 

“Rey.” He’s crying. And at the same time she’s rushing to into his arms, he’s running to her. 

She collapses into him. She has never felt more at home. She did not even have the minutest understanding of the word until this moment, when he crushes her to his body. Rey is sobbing, great rolling sobs racking her body. All the pain and unfathomable loneliness leaving her body all at once, making her go limp. But Ben’s arms are strong around her waist. He holds her off the ground, burying his face in her hair, her neck; whispering, “Rey, Rey, Rey.” 

When he pulls back enough to look into her face, she stares up at him fascination, in awe. Gazing into his eyes, deep brown and shining, dripping tears from wet lashes, she doesn’t think she’ll ever think she’ll look away. It’s unfathomable that he’s here right now, but he is! His body firm and strong beneath her, his hair so soft under and around the fingers clasping his neck for dear life. And his lips… She’d dreamed of them. The feel of their final touch, an aching in her chest. But then they’re not a memory any longer, and they, like him, are real. So soft, so warm, pressed hard against her own. Kissing her over and over again, whispering her name; Ben’s lips. 

Even when he pulls back, she wants to keep kissing him. “Rey.” Ben lowers her down to solid ground, but she still clings to him. Cupping her cheek, he smooths the hair back from her face, still grinning. 

“Ben…” Rey’s voice wobbles. “How- how are you-.” Alive? Not dead? “-here?” 

“I’m back.” He whispers. “I came back for you.” 

Somewhere outside the hall, blaster fire and voices echo. But she couldn’t be bothered to care. She swallows. “But you’re not… I mean you- you…” 

“I did. But I came back.” Oh, his voice. How she’d missed it! How many nights had she lay in her empty bed, remembering his voice, his kiss; as her hands slipped beneath her clothes and frantically rubbed herself to orgasm, sobbing his name?

Leaning in, Ben chuckles. “I had some help.”

Rey feels her brows crunch together as she frowns. “Who-.” 

All of a sudden, the double doors of the hall burst open with a bang. Both Rey and Ben’s bodies tense and they turn in unison as three figures rush inside. Finn, Poe, and Chewbacca freeze when they see the pair, but they only have a moment’s surprise because at that moment, Rey’s entire guard appears on their heels. A wall of black filling the doorway. 

Rey’s mouth drops open. Ben watches as a new expression he’s never seen on her face forms. He’s seen her angry before, of course he has. But this is different. More controlled. More focused and darker. Cruel. 

“You!” Her chest is rising and falling with the effort of maintaining control. Her hand tightens around her saber, but she doesn’t let go of Ben. “I told you NEVER to come back here!” The venom in her tone shocks him. 

Her followers start to rush forward, to take the three captive, but she raises her hand and they fall back. “We-.” Finn begins, but Ben cuts him off. 

“That’s what I was trying to tell you Rey. They’re the ones who helped me. They brought me back to life.” 

Rey’s face is a mixture of conflicting emotions. She frowns up at Ben, but her bite recedes. “They… They brought you back? But how? I’ve been trying this whole time and-.”

“The Force guided them. And they brought me back to you.” 

“The Force…” Rey’s anger has suddenly returned. She takes a step away from Ben, turning to glare at Finn and Poe. “You did what?!” 

Finn’s mouth falls open, stunned. “Rey. I thought you wanted this!” 

“You couldn’t have told me!” She spits, face growing flaring with heat. “You didn’t tell me you had a way to get him back! You went and did it yourself and then just brought him here, thinking I’d forgive you?!”

“Rey”, Finn pleads. He looks uttering speechless. “This is what you wanted. We brought him back for you!”

“No!” Still gripping Ben’s arm, she drags him a few steps forward to point accusingly at Finn. “You did this for you! You only brought him back so he could stop me.” Finn opens his mouth, but Rey has had enough. “You don’t care about him. You’ve never cared about him! When I lost him, when my soul DIED that day on Exegol, you didn’t give a damn. It was only when I started my work, started doing something for myself, that you started to care!” There are tears in her eyes, in her voice. “You’re trying to turn him against me!” 

“Rey, no! We came here to help you.” 

Suddenly, Ben’s grip tightens on her shoulder and he forces her around to face him. A different expression, one of concern and uncertainty, creases his brow. “Rey, look at me.” She does. “What’s going on? This isn’t like you.” But blinking rapidly, Rey jerks back. 

“This is me. This is who I am now.”

“Rey…” 

“I am Rey. Not Rey Skywalker or Rey Palpatine. Just Rey!” 

Searching her face, frowning, he draws her closer. “Rey, what are you doing? What is this?” She’s torn. Her instinct is to be angry, to lash out. But this is Ben. And she’ll never hurt him!

“You were gone.” Her dark expression cracks. “I was so alone. I tried to reach you, to find you. I couldn’t. I tried everything, but I failed.” She’s crying again. “But then began to hear things, new thoughts, new ideas. I knew the Light Side would never you give you back to me. But maybe the Dark Side would.”

Ben is shaking his head now, heart aching. He so desperately wants her to stop talking. 

“My grandf- Palpatine’s final goal was to conquer death. He researched it his whole life. There was a Sith Lord, Darth Plagueis, who actually did it. I figured, if he could do it, so could I.” Rey’s voice is growing steadier, the tears receding. “But I failed again. I kept failing. I didn’t give up, but I began to fear I would never find a way. I had nothing then; nothing to live for. No purpose.”

“Rey…”

She reaches up, grazes her thumb against the place where she’d once slashed his skin in two. “But then I found one. My own purpose, my own destiny.” Ben swallows. “Revenge”, whispers Rey. “They took you from me. They used us and then threw us away after we’d killed their enemies for them. The Jedi were hypocrites. They taught peace and good will, but without you, I’d be dead on the ground in the Emperor’s throne room. And if not for your own strength, they’d have abandoned you to die in that pit alone.” 

This isn’t real. It can’t be! Ben keeps telling himself this, but the light shining behind her eyes tells him otherwise. 

“So, began a new plan.” Rey smiles. “I now have a mission bigger than any other Force User has ever had. And it’s mine. No one gave it to me or passed it down from another generation. That’s why I know I’m going to succeed in what I need to do...”

He doesn’t want to ask. For the Maker’s sake, he doesn’t want to know. But he finds himself asking anyway; “What do you need to do?” 

Her smile would be beautiful if it were not terrible. She’s never looked more certain about anything. And Ben knows when he hears what she is about to say, he’ll never be able to go back. 

“I’m going to destroy the Force.” 

“Rey, that’s impossible.” Ben grasps for words, flailing in panic. “You can’t! It’s just not possible.” 

“They said coming back from the dead was impossible; and yet, you and I have both done it.”

“No!” Ben says emphatically, shaking his head. 

“Maybe it can’t be completely destroyed. But it can be weakened. There are places, Ben, points where the Force is strongest. These places anchor it. They’re what make us able to commune with it. They give it its strength, but what if they could also be its weakness?” She touches Ben’s cheek in an effort to make him stop shaking his head. 

“We could do it. You and I; we could make the Force pay for all it’s put us and our families through. And not just them; the whole Galaxy. Thousands of innocents slaughtered in the name of the Force, because it is at war with itself. Light and Dark have been fighting since the beginning of time and they will never stop. True balance just isn’t possible. Anakin Skywalker was meant to do it, but it only destroyed him. The two halves pulling on him, ripped him apart.” 

Ben bites his lip as Rey whispers, leaning in, eyes flitting across his face. “But we could make them all pay. Together. With our power- the power of the Dyad, we could do this together. Just like you always wanted.” 

“That’s not what I wanted.” Suddenly, he’s the one pulling back. “I never wanted that. I wanted us together, happy. That’s all I really ever wanted.” He frowns. “Have you forgotten what the Dark Side did to me? It nearly destroyed me. It would have if not for you.” He says, cupping her cheek. “I never going back. I don’t anything to do with the Dark Side anymore.” 

“So, what about me?” The mixture of hurt and defiance in her tone make Ben flinch.

“I want everything to do with you.” Lips twitching, he replies. “But I don’t want you to get hurt. The Dark Side is pain and suffering. I don’t want that for you.” His fingers have been wandering across her skin, smoothing the hair from her face and neck, pushing it back. But then he stops, eyes landing on a mark below her jaw. With gentle fingers, he tilts her chin to have a better look, but then gasps when he sees what it is. A bruising blue electricity burn zigzags across her skin, curling around the base of her ear and jaw and extending down the side of her neck where it fans out across her chest. Lightning. 

“Rey…” His voice is broken. This has broken him. Fresh tears spring to his eyes as he caresses the painful burn with the gentlest of fingers. “Look what it’s doing to you.” 

Rey swallows, moved by his concern despite her churning emotions. “It doesn’t even really hurt anymore. It was worth the sacrifice.”

To hell with it all! He can’t do this anymore! “Come back with me, Rey!” He pleads, desperation palpable. “Come away from this place. Please. I can’t stand to see you hurting yourself.” He’s loosing her. Rey begins to shake her head, but Ben’s already cupping her head in both hands, drawing her forehead to rest against his. “Please. Be with me.” 

Her eyes flicker up to his. They stay like that, the rest of the world gone for a few precious moments. She’s on the edge. But she can’t decide. 

“I can’t”, she whispers. 

“You can. You can do anything. Please come back with me.” Closing his eyes, he presses his head more firmly against hers. “It doesn’t have to be forever. Just try it, even if its only temporary. You don’t have to make any promises; just be with me.” He kisses her deeply, urgently. “Please.”

“Even if it’s temporary?” She finally, carefully asks.

“Then we can figure out something else if it isn’t working for you. But I will never fight you again, Rey.”

“Never”, she agrees, then pauses to consider. When she meets his eyes again, there’s the tiniest flicker of hope hers. “Alright. Take me away from here, Ben. I’ll be home as long as I’m with you.” 

And immediately, her body relaxes, all the fight going out of her all at once, leaving her feeble and exhausted. Without a second thought, Ben scoops her up into his arms. The guards step aside, and Poe and Finn and Chewie start toward the exit, but Ben can’t help but steal a kiss from his girl before following. 

“Are you really here with me?” She whispers in his ear; clinging to him as eyelids droop sleepily. 

“I am. I promise.” 

And nothing is ever going to make me leave you again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and what you think in going to happen next. 
> 
> Now, I need to go sleep. :)


	5. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is still starring, squinting in an effort to see. “And who is that guy with her?”
> 
> “It’ll come to you”, he replies flatly. Finn watches the wheels turning in her head. He’s no idea how she’ll react when she realizes.
> 
> All of a sudden, she gasps. “Is that- is that KYLO REN?!?”

Ben is the last one on board the Falcon, hurrying up the ramp behind Chewbacca, Rey still gathered safely in his arms. Her eyes have faller shut, breathing leveled. 

After so long of constantly drawing on the Dark Side for strength and anger, letting go has drained what little remaining energy she’d had on her own. One hand around his neck and fingers buried in the soft hair, Rey rubs her face even further into his shirtfront. Ben can’t stop starring down at her. It’s hard to believe she’s finally back in his arms, safe and sound. 

There’s no question who is going to pilot the ship now, because as soon as he steps onboard, Ben hurries toward the back of the ship. He stalks into the small back room that houses the sleeping quarters, Finn following behind but stopping uncertainly at the door. Ben couldn’t care less who flies the Falcon now, just so long as they get away from this place as soon as possible. 

Ben braces his stance as he feels the ship rise from the ground and angle toward the sky. “Rey”, he says softly. He needs her to wake up for just a little bit, and then he’ll let her sleep for as long as she wants. 

“Hmmm.” She mutters as Ben sets her on the edge of the bed and works at the laces of her outer garments. The flowing black tunic and cape are covered in dirt and singed, and Ben wonders when the last time it was washed, as he helps her untangle her arms from the thick fabric. Finally free, Rey perches on the edge of the bed dressed in black trousers and a sleeveless black shirt. 

Ben helps her to lie down then rushes over to on the compartments in the wall and begins digging through it. Behind him, in the doorway, he can feel Finn lingering awkwardly. He probably wants to help, but there is nothing left for him to do for her. He has already done enough. As he turns back with blanket in hand, Ben catches Finn’s eye and gives a quick nod. 

It’s alright. She’s safe with me. 

Finn retreats to join the others in the cockpit and Ben finishes tucking the blanket snugly in around Rey. 

She’s so pale, gaunt, almost sickly. And the lightning shaped burns imprinted in her skin… He runs his fingers gently over them as he goes to sit on the bed beside her, still grasping her hand. But he’s suddenly yanked up short by Rey’s hand in his own. Ben doesn’t hesitate when she begins tugging him back to her. He slips onto the small bed, curling around her from behind. The body heat is wonderful. And the nearness is even better; Ben thinks as he situates the blanket around them. Rey’s hand clasped in her own, guides his arm around her waist, both hands settling on her abdomen. 

Ben remembers another time, when is hand was in this same position. Only that time, she’d just died and he was pouring all of himself into the emptiness left behind. Now, they’re both alive, and safe, and together. Leaning into her, burying his face in her shoulder, his breathing synchronizes with hers. This is the first time- the real first time- since he’d died that he feels truly alive. 

Is this a dream? If so, let him stay here forever and never wake up.

Even though Rey’s fallen asleep, Ben doesn’t join her. His protective instincts are kicking in. They’re still in hyperspace and that means they won’t be entirely safe until they arrive back at the camp. Ben won’t be able to sleep until they’ve arrived. 

Hovering on the edge of consciousness, he sighs against Rey’s shoulder. It feels so good to be so close! This is the first time since- well since he was a child, that he’d had this kind of intimacy. Rubbing soothing circles on her stomach with his thumb, Ben feels it when he reaches the bottom of her ribcage. Each rib is prominent; he almost lets out a gasp when his finger falls down into the gap between. When was the last time she’d had a decent meal? How had she fallen so far that she no longer bothered to take care of herself? She’s so thin. She feels frail enough to snap in half. But that’s what happens when you rely only on the Dark Side.

Despite the comfort of this moment, he feels himself growing angry. Not at her. But at everything that had caused her such to lose all hope. He had died for her willingly, but that is what set this all in motion. But what if he hadn’t needed to die at all? Rey had a point when she said the Jedi could have done more during that final battle. He’s transported back to that moment when he’d gathered her lifeless body in his arms. He remembers looking around the empty cavern for something- anyone to help him. He’d barely had the strength to support her, nevertheless, restore her lifeforce. And yet, he had. With no help from the Jedi. And then he’d died... 

Rey senses his anger; she stirs. Shifting her body, Rey hooks an arm around his neck and pulls him for a soft, lingering kiss. “Are you okay?” She whispers, lips brushing his. She’d felt his distress through their bond. 

“I am now”, he whispers. Tightening his hold on her waist, he kisses way from the side of her mouth to her temple. Ben lingers there a while. It’s a nice place to be. Breathing deeply against her skin, pressing kiss after kiss just there. 

“Mmmm… So tired.” Rey absently rubs her fingers through his thick locks. “And I need a shower too.” She grimaces when brings her other hand up to touch her own messy hair. 

Ben relaxes back against the bed again. “I think we’re almost there. Then I’m gonna feed you and then you can sleep as long as your heart desires.”  
“Mmmm, food.” She moans, and they both chuckle.  
…

It is only when there’s a little scuffing sound from across the room, does Ben realize he’d drifted off. He snaps his head up, hair falling into his eyes. Unfocused eyes have to search the dimly lit room for a minute before he realizes that Finn is standing in the doorway. 

Rey is still asleep, nestled against him under the blanket. And Finn looks like an animal caught in the path of an oncoming ship. Mouth ajar, he stares down at them for several long seconds. His eyes flicker to Ben’s, then to the ground; embarrassed. “Um, we’re here”, he whispers. Then he quickly turns to go. 

Ben waits several minutes before waking Rey, giving himself a moment. That had been weird, and strangely embarrassing, with Finn walking in on such an intimate scene. It’s not like they’d even been kissing or anything, but still, Ben cheeks heat. Its suddenly far too warm under their shared blanket.

And that’s the exact moment he realizes- that he’s hard inside his trousers. Ben inhales sharply. He’s never been this close with a woman for so long before. He’s not experienced, and the only hand that has touched him, is his own. But he didn’t think sleeping next to a girl could make his whole body go haywire! Not just any girl. This is Rey. And her soft round bottom had been cradled so snugly between his hips…

Nope. Time to get up! 

Carefully, he moves his body away from hers and softly shakes her. “Rey. Rey,” She blinks a few times, yawns. “Hey there. We’re here”, he says at the same moment the ship settles to the ground with a bump. 

Ben wraps the blanket around her as she sits up. She still looks a little disoriented. “Do you need me to carry you, or can you walk?” He asks, helping her shakily to her feet. 

“I think I can walk”, she replies. “Just don’t let go of me.” 

“Not a chance.” And he grins. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he guides them through the hallway and to down the ramp. Back onto to solid ground.  
Finn and Poe are waiting for them at the bottom. 

“It’s not time for dinner yet”, says Poe, “But I can go over and ask them to make you something if you want me to.” 

But Rey just shakes her head. “I’d really like to get cleaned up before I do anything else.” 

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He replies. “You-.” He glances to Finn, to Ben. They all seem to realize at the same moment that they don’t know where Rey will be sleeping tonight. But none of them want to ask. 

Then Ben steps forward. “Rey will be staying with me, if that’s alright with you.” He looks to Finn; whose eyes dart to Rey, before nodding. 

“Sure. No problem.” He seems to be having trouble getting enough oxygen and he doesn’t look at Ben. “I’ll go there with you and make sure you have everything you need.” 

…

Finn has just stepped out the door of Poe’s shack, where he’d showered- since his was being occupied at the moment- and dressed, when he spots a ship dropping out of lightspeed and hovering down towards the planet. He watches its decent, collapsing into the chair outside the door. He’s totally and uttering exhausted, and not just physically. 

Hair still wet form his own shower, Finn leans back against the wall and listens to Poe hum from inside the fresher. Finn’s never heard it before; he’s not even sure it’s a real song. But it’s nice, soothing. Poe has always had a nice voice. 

It was nice on that night eight and a half months ago, when they’d been on a mission to round up the final First Order supporters, and they’d almost kissed in the dark of the compartment they’d been locked in. They would have done it too, if not for the interruption of the others coming to their rescue. His voice had been nice too, when three days later, Poe said he wasn’t sure how felt right now and they’d better just stay friends. 

And then everything had been fine… until recently when things between them had gotten- intense again. 

Lost in his own thoughts, Finn almost doesn’t recognize the woman striding across the clearing toward him. 

“Rose?” He’s beyond surprised. She’s the last person he’d expected to see on a day like today. “Rose!” Jumping up from his seat, he runs out into the grassy lawn and feels his body relax into the embrace when she throws her arms around his neck. 

“Hey”, she says, after he’s finally lowered her down the few inches he’s lifted her in his excitement. Her face is warm and sunny. Her hair is much longer than the last time he’d seen her. Force, had it really been five months?? 

“Hey”, he echoes, grinning a little too widely. He really has missed her. There’s nothing weird about being around her, not like with Poe. There had been that kiss on Crait, and for a while he’d thought maybe… But then is had past, and they’d moved on. Absently, he wonders if she really has moved on, found someone on Coruscant, someone refined and rich, who had a fancy ship and a fancy home. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, still holding on to her forearm. “We tried to com you like fifteen times, and you never answered. And when we contacted Connix, she said you’d been off planet for weeks!” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I had to rush off on a diplomatic visit to Naboo again. You remember the trouble we were having with the Gungans.” How could he forget! “But I came as soon as I got home and saw your message.” Rose frowns. “Something about Rey being in trouble? I don’t know. As soon as I heard that, I was on my way. What's going on?” 

Probably the last thing Finn wants to do right now- aside from walking in on Ben Solo in bed with his best friend again- is try to explain everything to Rose. Sighing deeply, he rubs his temple and then his eyes with the flat of his palm. He really is so tired…

“Hey”, Rose says, reaching up to guide his eyes back to her. Brow creased, soft eyes gazing up at him; she’s really concerned. “Are you okay? You look you’ve been swallowed by a Rancor and then shoved out the other side.” 

“Yeah about that…” 

“Wait a minute.” She says, cutting him off. “It that- Rey?” Finn almost inwardly groans when he turns to see two people stepping out of his house and starting down the path toward them. Rey and Solo. Walking so close they might as well be holding hands. He hasn’t gotten used to it yet. It’s almost too strange to watch. They’re inseparable, it seems. Finn wonders for the briefest of moments weather they’d had their shower together too, but quickly banishes the thought. 

Rose is still starring, squinting in an effort to see better. “And who is that guy with her?”

“It’ll come to you”, he replies flatly. Finn watches the wheels turning in her head. He’s not sure how she’ll react when she realizes, but whatever it is, it’s sure to be humorous.

All of a sudden, she gasps. “Is that- is that KYLO REN?!?” 

Holding back the urge to start laughing, Finn shakes his head. “Well, not exactly…” 

“Not exactly! Who else could it be? Rey doesn’t know anyone else. Who else would she be so close with?” Her nose scrunches when she frowns. “I has to be him!”

“Nope”, Finn beings to reassure her, but she’s had enough, and begins stalking quickly to meet them. 

“Rey!” 

Rey’s head whips around from when she’d been gazing up at Ben. Her jaw goes slack when she sees her. “Rose?” Shocked and delighted, Rey starts towards her friend, but then pauses when she sees the look on her face. 

“Rey! What are you doing? That’s Kylo Ren!” 

Suddenly defensive Rey frowns and quickly positions herself between Rose and Ben. “No, he’s not, Rose.” 

“That is Kylo freaking Ren! Supreme Leader of the First Order!” Rose is scowling, jabbing a finger in his direction. But he only grimaces. 

“No, he’s not! He’s Ben Solo!” Rey cries, lifting her own fist. “And none of us would be alive without him!” The shouting has attracted some attention. Occupants of the camp walking by turn their heads to stare. But before the argument can get any louder, Poe runs out of his house, C-3PO on his tail. 

“Hey”, whispers frantically. “Do we really need to be having this conversation here, right now?” 

But Rose is angry. Yanking her arm away from Poe, she plants both hands on her hips. “Yes, we do need to have this conversation here! Someone better start explaining what’s going on, right now!” Poe opens his mouth, but 3PO begins waddling into the circle as fast as his ancient legs will carry him.

“Oh, perhaps I can be of some assistance!” Everyone in the group is glaring at him, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Do you want to long version or the short version.” He asks. 

“The short version, 3PO!” Rose is still glaring daggers at Ben. 

“Well, you see; Master Ben and Mistress Rey have a very particular relationship.” Poe grunts at that, and Finn thinks; is that what they call it? C-3PO continues without pausing. “Being joined by a very special bond called a Dyad.”

“3PO”, Rose grumbles, “I know about the Dyad. I was here when Rey got back from Exegol.”

“Ah, yes. Well, after Rey killed Emperor Palpatine, she died from using up all her energy. But Master Ben had managed to survive, through he was terribly wounded. Upon finding her, he healed her and brought her back to life, but the effort of it drained him until he passed away; sacrificing his life for hers.” Finn catches Rey and Ben exchange a lingering look, but he doesn’t comment. 

“After he was gone, Rey was in much pain. It was not like grieving for a loved one, but like grieving over a piece of her own soul, due to their connection. She was not well. And she hid it from us. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, there was an incident…” Everyone but Rose looks immediately to Rey. 

“An incident?” Rose prompts. 

“An incident having to do with-.”

“An incident having to do with me.” Rey supplies, stepping forward. Rose’s brow creases, torn between being upset and being worried. “I’m not going to apologize for it.” She continues, “And I didn’t come here to be judged!” 

3PO is quick to seize back the conversation. “So, after the incident, Finn started having these feelings. Then he remembered something he’d read about in one of the Sacred Texts, so we started searching for a way to use it to bring Master Ben back from the dead and-” 

Rose looks genuinely mystified. “Um… why exactly would you be looking for a way to bring back ‘Master Ben’?” She’s looking at Finn and Poe now for answers.

“Let’s just say she was trying to do something we- didn’t exactly agree with.” Poe answers her after a long silence, speaking carefully. “And we weren’t strong enough to stop her from doing it. So… we needed someone who could.” 

“I can’t believe this!” Whirling to face each one of them in turn, Rose points at Ben. “This is Kylo Ren!” When no one speaks, she continues. “I don’t understand how any of you are okay with this! Finn!?”

Finn has no desire to be put on the spot. And he definitely has no desire to defend the former Supreme Leader. He swallows thickly as Rey keeps starring at him expectantly. “Well… I mean, he did save Rey. Twice. We couldn’t have done it without him.” He does NOT look at Solo. “And I mean Kylo Ren has technically already died. What else could we do to punish him?”

That’s when Rose loses it. Throwing her hands up, she begins pacing. “I can’t- I can’t believe this! I can’t do this!”

“Hey, hey.” Finn is at her side before he knows what he’s doing. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and cranes his neck to she’ll have to look him in the eye. “Let’s go inside my house, and we can talk about it. Just the two of us. I’ll try my best to explain.” After several silent moments, Rose hesitantly nods, then allows him to lead her back toward his house. Leaving the rest of them behind in the middle of the clearing. 

“Well, that was… something.” Poe says after they’ve gone. Rey glances up at Ben so see if he’s alright. She can only imagine how hard it is to hear all this. But he only looks the slightest bit pained. He gives he a tight smile and a squeeze of the hand to tell he he’s alright. 

“This day just keeps on getting better and better.” He says with a smirk. 

Poe chuckles. Rubbing his hand across his face he glances at the mess hall. “Dinner should be ready shortly. In the meantime, I was thinking of making a bonfire; if you’d like to join me at the firepit.” Rey is surprised at the invitation. She and Poe have never gotten along very well even at the best of times. He must be going out of his way to be nice to them. 

She glances to Ben, who nods. “Sure. Thanks Poe.” 

As she and Ben walk side by side through the long grass, shadows growing dimmer in the sunset light, their knuckles keep grazing and bumping together. It makes them both grin. And glancing ahead at Poe, Ben curls his pinky around hers and squeezes, giving it a good shake. She laughs; really laughs out loud. And it surprises them both. 

It’s probably been so long since he’s heard her laugh. Maybe he never has before. It’s probably been a very long time since he’s laughed himself. 

But it hasn’t been long for Rey…

In a flash like a fever dream, a memory sparks behind her eyelids. She was on her knees, her black nightgown slashed nearly to pieces, stained with her own blood. Her saber lay on the ground beside her, ignited, slowly turning the stone floor molten; casting ghastly shadows on the hollows of her cheeks in the mirror. She clawed at the floor length mirror- like in the cave on Ach-To- she could hear her fingers scraping against the glass, nails snapping and crumbling. Cackling with what seemed like hundreds of voice in her head, pounding against her skull in the same rhythm she used to rub her fingertips raw, smearing blood. 

Rey gasps, nearly falling over from the effort of shaking herself out of it. When she looks up, Ben is there, gazing down at her in concern. “Rey? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Fine. Just fine…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> What do you think? Let me know if I should continue.


	6. The Spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is too distracted to be paying attention. Ben’s hand has been shifting too. And very slowly, very softly, their fingers meet in the dip between their thighs. Rey sucks in a soft inhale at the contact, her fingers curling instinctively toward his. 
> 
> “So…” Rose’s voice draws their attention back to the other side of the fire, at the other four people currently starring at them. “When exactly did this happen?” She motions between Ben and Rey, face impassive.

Rose and Poe volunteer to go get food from the mess hall, leaving Finn alone with Rey and Ben at the firepit. 

Why does this always happen! He thinks to himself. 

Poe’s built up quite an impressive fire, wood cracking and popping, flames and sparks leaping up four or five feet in the air. The firepit sits in cluster of trees, just off the clearing that houses the camp, with a circle of low benches made of roughly hone logs, surrounding it. 

It was Poe’s idea. He’s the one who made it, and he’s the person who’s used it the most over the time they’ve lived here. Most evenings, he and Finn- usually along with a few others, will grab their dinner and make their way down to where Poe had already built the roaring fire. Sometimes, they roast meats on a stick over the open flames. Sometimes, they stay up late telling stories or starring as the coals fade to blackness. And once or twice, Finn and Poe have spread out their bedrolls on the ground beside the pit, talking in hushed voices until the sky grew light, or gazing at the stars. 

Finn enjoys this new life they’ve built. He likes building and working with his hands. He likes how they never really have a fixed schedule and he can come and go as he pleases. He likes having his own place. He likes the peace and quiet, and surprisingly, he likes being in nature. He likes working so closely with Poe, without worrying if there’s a chance they could die each day. He likes the satisfaction of sore shoulder and leg muscles when he climbs exhausted into bed each night for a quiet and dreamless sleep. 

Finn does NOT like sitting alone with his best friend and her new boyfriend as they sit as close as possible without being in each other’s laps, while they the three of them awkwardly try not to look at each other!

Rey lets out a sigh of relief when Poe and Rose arrive with trays of food in hand. Food! 

She and Finn haven’t spoken since they arrived back here. He hasn’t even tried approaching her, but that’s probably because he can sense she’s still angry with him. And she is. There’s so much hurt and mistrust between them now. In his mind, she’d betrayed them all- and there’d been that moment when she’d almost hurt him. But what he did is unforgivable! The one thing that she loved more than anything else, the one thing she had separate from him and the Resistance; Finn had tried to turn him against her. 

Maybe she should try to talk to him, try to work it out. But the thought makes a molten bile rise in her stomach! Or, she thinks, she should stay as far away from him as possible and await the day something just as awful happens to him. 

She rips herself from glaring across the fire at Finn when Poe hands her a plate. He gives one to Ben and then sits on the bench beside theirs, keeping just enough distance. 

It smells glorious! Food! Some kind of wild turkey or pheasant, glistening with a buttery sheen, has been sliced into huge chunks and then laid over a bed of purple rice and raw suskow root. Drool nearly dribbles all down her chin starring at it! Then she notices Ben watching her. She glances over to find him grinning at her expression. Cocking her head, she raises her eyebrows; as if to say, ‘yes?’. 

“Are you going to eat it or are you going to stare at it all night?” He teases. Rey bumps her shoulder against his, grinning herself. 

“Oh, I’m going to eat it! I’m just appreciating it first.” 

“Hmmmh”, Ben chuckles as he turns back to take a bite of his own meal. 

This might be the best thing Rey’s ever tasted! Except for maybe… no! She’s not even going to think it! She really can’t think about Ben’s lips right now, when all her friends are sitting right there and tensions are already high enough!

As Rey dives in, Chewie joins them at the fire, much bigger plate in hand. As he goes by behind Ben and Rey, he pats Rey on the shoulder and ruffles Ben’s hair fondly, before taking a seat on the bench beside Poe. She smirks at Ben as he quickly begins patting his hair back into place, then reaches up to brush a few strands off his forehead, fingers brushing his skin. The touch is electric. It sends a shock through her fingers that has nothing to do with the blazing heat of the fire. Their gazes lock. When’d they’d sat down, they’d tried not to sit closer than was necessary but now, somehow, they’re so close she can feel his breath brush her face. 

Rey blushes, because she can feel the others watching them. And biting her lip, she returns to her food. But her attention is fixed somewhere else. When Ben widens his legs the tiniest bit, his thigh is almost touching hers, and when she shifts slightly to the left, it does touch. She can hear Ben’s breathing speed up, as it matches her heart pounding in her ears. 

Forcing her attention away from the thoughts his leg is up against hers it threatening to give her, she glances across at Finn, who’s telling a story about this time when he was a Stormtrooper and an assistant droid had malfunctioned when it accidently fell into the fresher. 

“So then, it started chasing him and three other guys out of the fresher, while shocking them with it’s prong!” Finn says, guffawing at Rose, Poe, and Chewie, who are already laughing. 

“They were running around the room butt-naked, screaming at the top of their lungs. And of course, all the rest of us climbed up on our bunks because there was no way in hell we were going to let that thing shock us too!” Rey finds herself smirking, despite herself. He even manages to make Ben chuckle softly under his breath, though no one hears it and he hides it with behind his fork. 

Finn has always been good at telling stories, but it’s rare that he talks about his life before joining the Resistance. She has always wondered what it was actually like in their day to day life. She’d mostly just seen Stormtroopers out in the battlefield, where they were the enemy. But there were real people under those glossy white helmets. Finn- and Jannah, had proved that. 

“But then” wheezing with laughter, Finn struggles to continue.“Fn-3666 hit his head on the corner of one of the bunks and fell, SPLAT, right down on his face, while that crazy droid just kept beeping and zapping them.” 

Ben has finished his food. He sets his dish on the ground, and a moment later she feels his gaze on her. She tries to pay attention to the story- she really does, but then she sees Ben’s hand fall on his thigh, not more than an inch from her leg, and their gazes catch. But then she quickly looks away, face red. 

He can’t keep looking at her like that; all intense and heated, flames flickering in his eyes! It’s not decent for where they’re sitting right now. And it’s going to drive her crazy! 

At this point in the story, Poe is leaning on Chewie, nearly falling over in laughter and Rose has tears in her eyes. “Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better”, Finn gasps, “the door to the barracks bangs open and there stands Captain Phasma herself!”

“No way!” Rose exclaims.

“Yes!” Finn’s having a hard time breathing. “She just stands there in the doorway, frozen in horror as she takes it all in. Of course, she had her helmet on so we couldn’t see her face. The two naked guys didn’t notice she was there until one of them almost ran into her. He was so startled that he changed directions so quickly that he stumbled backwards over Fn-36 and fell down beside him. The third guy stopped in his tracks, came to attention, all while the droid was still shocking him.”

Rey finishes her food too. When she sits back up from laying her plate on the ground, her hands fall into her lap, the left one splayed out on her thigh… just inches from his hand. Chuckling, she pretends to be listening to the story, but all the while, her fingers are inching closer… closer… 

“All of a sudden”, Finn says, throwing up his arms. “Phasma whips out her blaster and shoots the droid in the head! Then she holsters it again and looks right at Fn-36 and says, ‘Fn-3666, didn’t I tell you not to remove that helmet?’ But before he can answer, Chrome Dome whirls around and struts straight out of there and doesn’t even look back!” 

Wiping his eyes, Poe grins at Finn. “I had no idea Phasma was such a savage.” 

Ben’s fingers have been shifting too. And very slowly, very softly, their fingers meet in the dip between their thighs. Rey sucks in a soft inhale at the contact, her fingers curling instinctively toward his. His gaze is on her, hot and heavy. She can feel it like a second awareness; she can feel everything. And even as she watches the others discus the story, all she can hear is the blood rushing in her veins as, ever so slowly, his hand envelopes hers completely. It’s so big, so warm, so safe. Rey thinks she could cry. 

Turning her hand under his, she presses their palms together and intertwines their fingers. They both stare as she does, marveling at the connection. If Rey’s being honest with herself- and a small part of her always has known this- she should have taken this hand a long time ago. Maybe things would have been different if she had…

You know what; she thinks, to hell with it! She doesn’t care if they see! Locking eyes with Ben, she draws their twined hands to herself, into her lap, against her stomach. Ben’s lips curl up in a smile. And a moment later, he squeezes back. 

“So…” Rose’s voice draws their attention back to the other side of the fire, at the other four people currently starring at them. “When exactly did this happen?” She motions between Ben and Rey, face impassive. Rey doesn’t think she still looks mad, but still cautious. 

“Um, well…” Being asked something like this outright, she can’t help but be flustered. “You mean the Dyad, because I actually have no idea how that started. Snoke said-.” 

“I know about the Dyad.” Rose cuts her off mid-stutter. “I mean your… relationship- whatever that is exactly.”

“Oh…” Suddenly, everyone in the circle has given up on any other conversation and are looking at her. Squirming, she glances at Ben. He grips her hand tighter but doesn’t say anything. “Well, I suppose it started back when I was on Ach-To with Luke, with that first Force Connection. We hadn’t seen each other since Starkiller Base, when we fought, and I sliced his face open.” Rey can’t help it; her eyes flicker to Finn. “Then all the sudden we could see and talk to each other from across the galaxy. Obviously, I wasn’t exactly happy so see him.”

From beside her, Ben chuckles. She can feel it in the gentle shaking of his shoulder against her own. “Weren’t exactly happy? You only tried to shoot me with your blaster!”

Rey narrows her eyes at him. “And you tried to make me tell you where Luke was!” 

“I didn’t work.” He mutters, grinning. 

“That’s right.” She turns back to Rose. “We started having these connections all the time. One moment, I’d be walking along and then suddenly he’d just appear out of nowhere. One time, when he showed up he wasn’t…” Wearing a shirt, she doesn’t say, and I didn’t stop thinking about that moment for a full year. “I was furious to begin with”, she quickly redirects, “we both were! But then we started talking. We couldn’t fight anymore. The Force wouldn’t let us. I started to get to know him, to understand him.” 

A nostalgic fondness begins tugging at her heart. Those were intense but also crucial moments, when it was just the two of them, learning what it was like to have a soulmate. Leaning in closer, she finds Ben’s eyes. He’s gazing at her with the same mix of emotions she’s feeling. It’s the first time either of them has talked about their relationship, and it’s in front of four other people. It seems kind of strange. Everything for her and Ben has always been about feeling, because they always seemed to know that the other was thinking, instead of talking. 

“He was so lonely.” Rey continues, still looking up at him. “Just like I was. I came to realize that we had much more in common than I could’ve imagined. I came to care for him, and he listened when I needed someone. I came to realize neither of us ever had to be alone again.” Looking over, she notices Finn has been watching the two of them very intently, but now hurriedly ducks his head. 

Rey hurries to hide the twinge she feels inside. “When Luke refused to come back with me, I realized Ben was the best hope we had at destroying the First Order. So, I went to him on the Finalizer. He took me to Snoke, who was so powerful he could throw me around like I was nothing.” The memory is sharp in her mind, just as the pain of his invasive prodding on the inside of her mind. She remembers lying horizontally in the midair, screaming and shuddering with the force of his grasp. She shivers, but then she feels Ben’s warm hand squeezing hers. 

“Snoke told him to kill me. But Ben said-.”

“I said; no way in hell.” In Ben’s smirk she sees both Han and Leia. Cocky; but with the goods to back it up. Maker, she wants to kiss him right now!

“Right.” She says. “So, he killed Snoke. Sliced him right in half!”

“I knew it!” Poe is suddenly jumping to his feet, beating the air with his fist. He looks to Finn, then nudges Chewie. “I knew you couldn’t have killed Snoke all by yourself!” Finn just rolls his eyes- Rey had already told him, but Rose looked genuinely surprised, impressed even. 

“Yes, obviously, Poe. You’re so smart” Rey waves at him to sit down. “Anyway, then we had to kill all Snoke’s guards together. Then he asked me to rule with him, but I wanted him to come back with me, so I said no. So, we fought over the lightsaber and it broke. I left and found you guys on Crait.” She stops to take a deep breath. “And you all know the rest.” 

Shyly she finds herself meeting Rose’s eyes. For the first time all day, Rose doesn’t look so guarded. “Well, I can’t say that I understand. I don’t think I could ever forgive someone I’d seen do such horrible things with my own eyes.” Beside Rey, Ben stiffens. “But I guess I’ll never understand someone the way you two do, enough to know their intentions and weather they’ve really changed.” For the first time since she’d arrived, Rose meets Ben’s eyes. “I wish finding someone was that easy for the rest of us. I guess you just kind of know, right?” 

After a moment, Ben nods. Right. And Rose leans back in her seat, satisfied. 

Already, Rey is feeling much better. Maybe it was a good idea to talk about it after all. 

She’s just getting comfortable, leaning her head against Ben’s shoulder, when Poe scoots closer to their bench, propping his elbows on his knees. “So, is it ok now for me to ask what exactly you two are to each other? Like what I should call you?”

“Poe”, Finn exclaims at the same time Chewie smacks him. Rose curses under her breath.

“Hey, I just- since we were on the subject… I mean, I was just wondering. Like what if I have to introduce you to someone. How am I going to do that? This is Rey and her… Dyad?” Finn shakes his head and opens his mouth as if to admonish him again, but Rey raises a hand for silence. 

“No, it’s alright.” Uncertainly, she lifts her head off Ben’s shoulder and looks at him. They search each other’s faces for a moment. Then Ben raises an eyebrow. They haven’t actually talked about this yet. It’s hard to put a label on something so all-encompassing. Ben is- he’s everything. How can you put a name on that? “Ben? A little help?” 

But he just chuckles and shakes his head, flashing her a knowing smirk. “No, no, no. You got this. I’m actually curious what you’re going to say.” 

Sighing, Rey glares at him. 

Thanks for the help!

Rose seems to be thoroughly enjoying this. She gets up from the bench and stretches. “Here, I’ll list some things and you can tell me which one fits. Are you friends?” Ben frowns at that. “Best Friends? Fiancés?” Rey shakes her head. You have to have a proposal to be engaged. “Husband and Wife?” 

“If we are, I missed the wedding.” Ben replies jokingly, giving Rey’s hand a little playful shake. 

“Well, we’re a Dyad. That’s the only thing I can think to describe it.” Rey says. “It doesn’t match up with any other names in my head. They all feel wrong.” She sighs. “The only thing I can think of is soulmates, which is what we are. But…”

“May I present Rey and her soulmate…” Poe says in a fancy posh accent. He rises and bows deeply. “That’s no better than Dyad, Rey.” 

“Yes, it is! A Dyad doesn’t have to be romantic. There have been Dyads before, and Sith and their apprentices have tried to create that kind of bond. But they didn’t necessarily like- kiss or anything.” She’s getting far too flustered. Using the words romantic and kiss, are pushing this conversation into the too personal territory.

Ben snorts, and Rey glances over at him, eyebrows raised. “A Dyad that kisses?” He supplies. But Rey wrinkles her nose.

“A Dyad with benefits?” She tries, then realizes that could be taken the wrong way, when Poe and Rose guffaw at her. “I meant, ughhhh…” The rest of her words are muffled by her hiding her face in her hands while the others laugh. Joining in with them, Ben wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders. 

Rose pauses her laughing long enough to say; “Not lovers, right?” 

This is the closest they’ve gotten yet. Rey pauses a long moment to consider. 

“Really? You two have actually….no never mind. I don’t want to know.” Rey quickly begins toeing at the ground with her boot, her face flaming at the implication. Because for them to be lovers, they’d actually have to have… you know, made love. She and Ben both pretend they hadn’t heard her. “So that just leaves boyfriend and girlfriend.” Rose says simply. 

“Hmmm.” That doesn’t sound right either. It feels like a gross underestimation. Rey glances to Ben, but he’s frowning too. “I guess you could call us girlfriend and boyfriend.” She grimaces. “It sounds to cliché to say we’re dating. We haven’t even been on a real date!”

“Look”, Ben says; suddenly butting in, he squares his shoulders, “I don’t think it really matters. Honestly, call us whatever you want. Boyfriend and girlfriend, soulmates, lovers. It doesn’t change anything.” He says it frankly. He's never sounded more convicted. “All I know is that I want to be with her forever.”

The group is suddenly quiet. Poe and Finn have suddenly become very interested in the dirt at their feet, but Chewie is grinning at his nephew with shining eyes, and Rose shoots Rey an appreciative look. 

As for Rey herself; she can’t stop gazing up at him. Tears rising in her throat, something squeezing her heart, she takes him in. Ben. Her Ben. His hair soft and shining in the light, the golden glow warming his skin. His features all soft, except the lovely point of his nose jutting out. How could someone so utterly breathtaking want belong to her, be hers for eternity? It seems too good to be true. She’d thought that after he’d resurrected her- thought they’d spend the rest of their lives together making up for lost time… 

But this time will be different! She insists. She knows it will be. Finn was right; they’ve both already died. What worse thing could happen to them than that? 

Ben notices her starring. Even as the others fall into quiet conversation, he bends his head to gaze back at her. He must see the emotion brimming in her eyes, threatening to overwhelm her, because his forehead creases. He raises a questioning eyebrow. But Rey just shakes her head. 

“Forever is a long time.” She says quietly. Glances down, then back up. “You’ll probably get tired of me by then.”

That smirk reappears, broader than last time. Rey has no idea how she’s going to get used to that mischievous grin, the way it sends butterflies fluttering in her chest. “Not possible”, he says, “more like, you’ll get tired of me.”

“No!” Voice soothing, she hurries to console him, but then pauses, as if considering. “Well…” She cocks her head at him playfully, but then jumps when she feels the arm around her shoulders slip down and pokes her in the side, making her giggle. 

“Hey!” He protests, but his arm’s already tightening, drawing her closer. Rey leans into his side, into his warmth; her head tipping back so she can grin up at him. 

“No”, she says, “you’re too pretty for that.” That seems to throw him off balance. Whole face crinkling into an adorable dismissive face, Ben shakes his head.

“Pretty? Pretty, Rey??” And when she nods and continuous to grin devilishly at him, he rolls his eyes. “Well, I certainly won’t be when I’m old and grey.”

“Well, then I’ll be old and grey too. And I won’t be pretty either.”

He huffs. He’s starring at her like she’s just said the stupidest thing imaginable. And she feels like she could be floating on clouds. “Rey…” He draws her name out, letting the words linger on his tongue. “You’ll never not be pretty.”

“So, you think I’m pretty?” She says it in a teasing way at first, but then her voice lilts up hopefully at the end. All this time, Ben has been hugging her to him with his arm wrapped around her waist, but now he places his hand on her knee. Avoiding his burning gaze, she scoops his big hand in both of her small ones; now trying to fit it inside her own, now turning it over to lace her fingers through his. How is it possible that’s she’s suddenly nervous? 

She thinks he’ll say something, but he just keeps starring down at her, a softness in the curve of his lips. Uncertainly, she gathers his hand to her chest, still playing with his fingers. “Rey… He whispers, and she finds she can’t quiet meet his eyes, settles for gazing at his plump lips. “Rey…” Guiding their joined hands higher, he caresses them against her chin, urging her eyes back on his. Rey feels like she’s lost all ability to breath. She hadn’t been exaggerating; he is breathtaking! 

“I think you’re beautiful.” His voice is low, soft, yearning. They’re so close now, their breaths mingle between their open mouths. 

“Maker, you’re perfect.” And Rey has to close her eyes a moment, when he rests his forehead against hers, just to hold all the emotion back. Ben nuzzles against her cheek until she opens her eyes again. “I’d be so jealous if you were someone else’s Dyad.”

“Really?” She whispers. “How jealous?” 

His hand tightens at her waist, an intensity, a need taking over his face and whole demeanor. “You have no idea…” He breathes in harshly with the intensity of it. “You don’t want to know the things I would do for you, Rey.” 

Maker! Holy shit… For a moment she can’t breathe. She feels so aroused she feels like she could come with only a touch. It’s absolutely sinful the way looking at her right now! Into her eyes… flickering to her lips….

He’s right, she doesn’t know. But, right now, with his breath on her face, and the blood rushing in her veins, and his lips so, so close, she thinks she’d like to find out. Tilting her head, Rey begins to lean in, give in the gravity of this moment they’ve shared, that has taken things to a place that they’ve never yet been. 

But then she remembers they’re not alone.

Taking a deep breath and summoning all her self-control, she licks her lips and draws back just a little bit. It takes a moment for Ben to tear his gaze off her lips, but when he does, he glances over at the others, who are trying to pretend they aren’t watching. Rey rubs his hand against her cheek to get his attention. 

“I think maybe it time for bed”, she breathes, “don’t you?” His adam’s apple bods as he swallows, then glances back at her friends. 

“Um…” He clears his throat. And they all can stop pretending not to be paying attention. “I think we’re going to head in for the night.” The firelight does a pretty good job at hiding the pink staining both their cheeks. 

Getting up, letting Ben guide her by the hand out of the circle, Rey does not look at Finn or Poe, and she especially does not look at Chewie. But she does catch Rose’s eye on the way by, and her friend gives her a subtle wink. 

As the pair is disappearing into the twilight, down the path beyond the fire’s golden glow, Finn turns to Poe and sighs. “I think I’m going to need to say the night at your place. I have a feeling I’m not going to want to be sleeping in the same building as those two tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whispers* he's right!
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Seriously love reading all your sweet comments! Please continue to share your thoughts and predictions.


	7. The Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Ben’s hands that are on her face this time. At first he cradles her face as his hips and torso press her into the hard surface of the wall, but then a thumb hooks under her jaw, tilting her face up, the rest of his hand curling around the base of her skull. Illuminated only by the light of the three moons outside the window, his eyes are like two glittering onyx in the pale expanse of his face. 
> 
> “And”, Ben whispers, hand tightening beneath her jaw, “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I saw you come out of the fresher earlier, all clean and nice smelling, with your hair dripping like that.” He kisses her even more hungerly than she’d kissed him. She hums a soft chuckle into his open mouth, before gasping as his lips trail to the corner of her mouth.

As soon as they’re through the door of the house, her hands are on him, shoving him against the wall and pressing her body against him. One of her hands twists in his shirt front, while the other finds purchase in his wild hair, dragging him down to meet her waiting lips. Standing on tiptoes, she kisses him fiercely. He melts into her touch, like a molten iron being poured over a mold, conforming to the shape of her lips, her body. His arms are wrapped safely around her waist, hands gripping her from either side and pulling her deeper. 

When both of them are unable to breathe anymore through the frenzy, Rey jerks back, but only enough to look him in the eyes. Her mouth is wet from his, panting, open; his has been marked by her, all blushing and plump and glistening. “I’ve been wanting to do that ever since you started touching my fingers by the fire.” Rey mutters, breath fanning his cheek. 

A moment later, his strong grip in shoving her back and guiding her into the place where he’d just been, back against the wall. His large frame crowds her. It makes her feel small between trapped between two immovable objects. Normally she’d feel afraid. She doesn’t feel afraid now. This may be the bravest she’s felt in a long time. 

Its Ben’s hands that are on her face this time. At first he cradles her face as his hips and torso press her into the hard surface of the wall, but then a thumb hooks under her jaw, tilting her face up, the rest of his hand curling around the base of her skull. Illuminated only by the light of the three moons outside the window, his eyes are like two glittering onyx in the pale expanse of his face. They devour her, until all she can see his him. 

“And”, Ben whispers, hand tightening beneath her jaw, “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I saw you come out of the fresher earlier, all clean and nice smelling, with your hair dripping like that.” He kisses her even more hungerly than she’d kissed him. She hums a soft chuckle into his open mouth, before gasping as his lips trail to the corner of her mouth and then begin kissing their way across her jaw. 

Ben Solo kisses her just like he does everything; with his whole heart. Kylo Ren had been powerful, dangerous, but there had always been a tension holding him back holding him together, that never let up- lest he crumble. But Ben is all that power, all that intensity, but with a reckless abandon that makes him even stronger… and maybe, even more dangerous. 

She hadn’t yet gotten a chance to really kiss him before. On Exegol, it had been one long kiss, with all the passion but their bodies were week. When they’d reunited earlier, they’d kissed, but it hadn’t been very long before they weren’t alone. Now, Rey takes her time. Maybe they have the rest of their lives, maybe not. But she’s going to kiss him as much as she can before the sun rises and they have to leave this house. Learning every detail; the way the inside of his lips feel when she slips her tongue inside, the plushness of his bottom lip when she takes it between her own, teases it with just a hint of teeth. 

She doesn’t really know how to do all this. She’d never kissed anyone before him. And, in this moment, she decides she’ll never kiss anyone else; she’s tasted his lips, and nothing will else will ever satisfy. Briefly, she wonders if he’s experienced. Either way, it doesn’t matter. She can’t tell. And even if he’s not, Rey wouldn’t want it any other way.

There’s a fire growing inside her. It grows hotter and hotter along with their flushing skin, still separated by several layers of clothing. So few, and yet, so many… Rey’s body moves without her control. As she molds her mouth to his, licks and moans, her hips undulate against his, along with the rhythm of their kissing. He’s hard there. Just like he had been when she’d woken with him at her back in the Falcon earlier, and she’d pretended not to notice. Now, she can’t pretend, doesn’t want to pretend. He doesn’t want to either. With every thrust of her hips, he is there to meet her, pushing back. There’s no use in pretending either of them haven’t wanted this from the very beginning. 

They both seem to realize at the same time. Gasping through kiss stained lips, Ben leans back just enough to meet her gaze. Despite the frantic way they’d just been grinding and kissing, Rey can’t help feeling the tiniest bit shy under his intense gaze. She tries to duck in and steal a kiss, but he draws back, and tilts her chin up to she has to look at him. Peaking up though her lashes, she searches his face, so beautiful in the soft light. A silent question lies just behind his eyes, just waiting to be spoke. 

Rey is ready; her body is ready, and her heart is ready. She needs him…

“Should we head to bed”, she whispers, after a long moment of silence. And Ben’s nose prods her cheek as he nods his way into a kiss, a kiss that continues all the way through Finn’s kitchen and into the small storage room where they’ll be staying. 

Ben is pushing her back against the door the moment it’s closed. Its all the more frantic now. His hands run along her body blindly, learning her shape. Clinging to his neck, Rey can only melt into the sensation. Every place he touches turns to fire, and soon- she hopes- her whole body will be licked up in flame.

She’s already dripping wet between her legs. Speaking of fire… She feels as though if he doesn’t touch her there soon, she’ll be consumed form the inside out. But Ben is taking his time. One hand teases with the edge of her tunic, while the other slides- ever so slowly- down the curve of her ass. Oh, how he’s wanted to touch her there; she can sense it through their bond. And she knows it for certain in the way his grip tightens around the handful he has hold of. It would have been almost painful if she had not wanted this just as badly as he does. 

Finally done being patient, Ben’s hand finds its way under her tunic, then begins skimming its way up along the skin of her torso. It tickles, and it makes her shiver, but not in a bad way. And then she’s shuddering for a completely different reason, in anticipation, as his hand skims her ribcage- up and up- until his fingertips brush along the baby-soft skin just under her breast. 

Please… Please touch me, she thinks. Touch all of me and never, never stop. 

And he does. The entirety of her small round peak fits inside his palm, and Ben groans when he realizes. Messaging her breast, he grips her tight, relishing in her stiff nipple grazing his palm. Suddenly, he wants to taste her- there; feel that hard peek against his tongue. He wants it more than he’s ever wanted anything! And the way Rey arches into his grasp; she makes sure he knows she wants it too. 

Her tunic is gone in a moment of fumbling fingers and straining muscles. Rey hears the offending garment slap as it hits the floor somewhere to the left where he’d thrown it away. Then equally as quickly, the thin breast band is yanked over her head, leaving her hair a skew, and her chest completely bare for him.  
For him. Only for him. All for him! 

I’m yours; she wants to tell him. But she only moans his name when his lips find her breast, and most of it is enveloped by his slick mouth. “Ben”, she moans again. Her head falling back of its own accord, she cries again, “Ben”; louder. 

Not wanting to neglect her other breast, he switches between them. Each time, he groans when her nipple hits his tongue, and each time, she whimpers under his touch. Nothing has ever been this good! Her crotch is soaked. She has an epiphany- and very neatly comes untouched- when she imagines his wet mouth doing the same things he’s doing to her breast, down there…

Ben isn’t nearly done; he’s just getting started. But, if nothing else, Rey is impatient and selfish. He’s been touching her, tasting her; but she hasn’t gotten even an inch of skin from him. Practically dragging his mouth back to hers, Rey grabs the hem of his shirt and begins to tug. It takes him a moment, because he’s far too preoccupied dipping his tongue into her mouth, but he jerks back to shuck the shirt off for her. 

Thinking she’s satisfied, he goes to kiss her again, but she stops him with a finger to the lips. “The pants too.” She says simply, smirking up at him between her lashes. And when shoots her a surprised look, she merely raises a brow. Go on. 

Shaking his head, grinning, he takes a step back and begins to work the black trousers down his legs. Its dark in the room, so Rey’s can’t see well. But she can see enough to know that he isn’t wearing undergarments underneath. Just the toned muscles of the side of a leg are visible in the sliver of moonlight, along with something long and hard against the inside of his thigh. Rey swallows, audibly and thickly. It’s the only sound in the room. 

Then she goes to him. Pressing her palm against the hard plane of his chest, she urges him backward, until his legs touch the side of the bed. Carefully, Ben settles himself on the edge, and reaches up to guide Rey on top of him. Only when she’s settled comfortably on his lap does he begin running his fingers through her hair, combing it away from her face. 

There’s a patch of moonlight coming in at the corner of the window. The silvery glow illuminates her gaunt face, making shadows of the hollows of her cheeks and temples, making her look no more than skin and bone. But Ben gazes up at her as if she’s the most beautiful think in creation. But there’s a tiny twinge of concern in the furrow of his eyebrows. His eyes trace her face down to the lightning burn spanning her throat, across her chest, covering her right breast. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but the pain in Ben’s eyes does. 

She can tell he wants to say something, to ask what happened. Suddenly, she feels self-conscious… and a little defensive. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she begins to bring her arms up, to cover herself, her scars; but Ben is quicker. His fingers guide her hands back to his face. 

“Rey”, he whispers. In between words, he kisses the backs of her hands. “You are beautiful. You are perfect. Here…” Lips press to the cleft of her elbow, making her giggle despite herself. “Here…” Lips on her shoulder. “Here…” On her collarbone. “Here…” In the hollow of her throat. “Here…” On both her nipples. His soft lips trail along the branch-like burn on her chest, all the way back to her lips. “Perfect”, he whispers, “Scars and all.” 

His eyes are shining when they return to her gaze. “I had scars… so, so many scars. And you saw through all of them.” Biting his lip, Ben brings her fingers to the place on his cheek where his scar once was- the one she’d given him so long ago. “And then you healed them.” Her fingers touch wet upon his cheek. “And I’ll be right here, while yours heal too.” 

“Promise?” She whispers. And the fierceness is so strong in her chest it almost rips straight through her chest. Some scars heal, but she’ll never be free of the memory of the ach she’d lived with for a year after he’d gone. Not gone. He had been dead. He’d died because of her… 

“I promise.” He replies. And when they kiss again, tears from both are on their lips. 

Scooting closer, Rey rubs the damp crotch of her leggings against him- against his... cock. It’s very hard. And immediately her body spikes when the head of it presses between her folds. Oh Force! She thinks. This, this is the beginning of the end. 

It’s all the encouragement Ben needs. Suddenly, he’s gripping her by the waist and flipping them over so that she’s flat on her back on the bed, Ben hanging over her. With a gentle but firm touch, he wraps one hand around both her wrists and pins them down above her head, making Rey gasp. With her hands out of the way, he goes back to work on her neck, licking and sucking until her entire throat is pink, and she’s writhing under him. 

“Ben.” She chuckles, finally gaining control of her arms back, and finding purchase on his shoulders. He kisses her on the mouth as she too, indulges herself, and runs her hands across his chest. Liking the way his muscles contract each place she touches, delighting in his sharp inhale when her nails graze his nipples. 

Ben stops kissing her long enough to grab the waistband of her leggings and slide them down and off. It’s a dangerous thing; being naked with him, not a stich of clothing as a buffer between them. There is nothing to keep them from doing what ever they please. There is nothing to keep Rey from everything she wants…

Rey parts her legs for him. Kneeling between her wide-open thighs, he runs a strong hand down from her knee to her hips. Rey gasps when he suddenly grips them and hauls her closer to his body. Shivering, she closes her eyes to let the anticipation grow; Ben trails his fingers across the flat of her abdomen and finally down to the softness between her legs. 

She had shaved herself. When she was bored, when she was anxious and annoyed, she’d take out an old knife- sharpened to razor thinness and shave every wisp of hair from her body. She would walk around naked in her cold, dark chambers, gazing at herself in the full-length mirrors, searching for more hairs to scrape away. It became an obsession. She would spend hours hunched over naked on the stone floor, examining the inside of her thigh for even one single stray hair. It was like an itch she couldn’t quite scratch. Even when she’d gotten them all, she would still feel them on her body, making her skin crawl. Sometimes… she’d scrape herself raw, just to make sure…

But Ben doesn’t seem no notice. He’s never been with a woman, and so doesn’t think it strange that she has no patch of hair down there. He sighs, his fingers tracing the damp outside of her cunt, before parting the lips and slipping into the slick inside. 

Immediately, any thoughts her body hair vanish as she arches up into his touch. “Oh”, he gasps again, dipping into the hollow at her entrance. “So wet…” His voice trembles in awe of it. 

“Yes”, Rey whispers, rutting against his hand, urging him to continue to move, because if he doesn’t, she thinks she’ll die. “For you.” 

Ben’s fingers tighten at her waist. They’ll be bruises in the morning and Rey will relish in them. “For me”, he repeats, still in awe. And when his middle finger slowly sinks into her hot cunt, he groans, “…mine.” 

“Ahh!” She can’t help it; she cries out. This is the largest thing that has ever been inside her. Her own fingers had never quite been able to reach, but this is everything. Slowly, he moves the finger out and in, while his thumb snakes up to brush her clit, eliciting another cry from her parted lips. 

For a few moments, they continue like that. Ben seems to have forgotten his own need. He’s redoubled his efforts, fingers working wonders on her soft insides. He keeps glancing from where he’s working between her legs to her face, checking if she’s alright. But she’s lost in so much bliss right now that couldn’t even speak if he asked her. Still thumbing her clit, Ben removes his finger, only to slip it back inside joined by another. And she keens at that, hips bucking and back arching. Gasping and fisting the sheets and the arm that’s gripping her hip, she clenches around him. 

“Ben-.” It’s too much and yet not enough at the same time! She wants to come- needs to come- but not without him. She wants the first time he makes her come to be with his cock buried inside her. “Come here”, she moans with some difficulty, because still, it’s killing her to feel his fingers retreating. 

A moment later, he’s hovering over her, hair hanging down in a black halo about his shining face. He looks radiant. Hair a wild mane. Face already covered with a sheen of sweat. A hand settles against her cheek, cupping it tenderly. It almost breaks her heart how he’s gazing down at her; like he adores her. And maybe he does.

She adores him. And she doesn’t want to wait anymore. 

Surging up, she envelopes his mouth in a searing kiss, at the same time, hooking a leg around his waist and drawing him closer. She can feel his cock now… Its stiff, but the outside skin is soft and warm. Heavy, it bobs as he kisses her, poking her inner thigh and hipbone- everywhere except where she needs him. 

Finally, he sinks down and nestles himself between her folds. The long shaft is quickly covered in her slick and each time the head grinds over her clit, Rey shudders with pleasure and she grinds with him. Somehow, he seems to grow even harder, and she marvels at his size; at the overwhelming size of him atop her. It is nearly as impressive as the amount of space he takes up inside her heart. 

Pausing in the frantic melding of lips and tongue, Ben draws back to search her eyes. She can feel his wanting hips settle back as his soft, rounded tip finds her entrance and rests just inside. This is the moment. This is the moment when everything changes. They have always been one; one in the Force, one in their fight against Palpatine and Snoke. But this is the first time their bodies will be joined too. The first time- but Maker help her- let it not be the last!

They’ve both known they were going to do this. They knew since the moment Ben scooped her into his arms at their reunion, since the moment their lips touched for the first time since Exegol. He isn’t asking, now if this will happen. But he, like her, knows that this is it. There’s no going back. When they do this- and they are going to do this- nothing will ever be able to replace it, to satisfy the need to be joined like this. Once you’ve tasted the sweetest fruit in the garden, you will never be able to go back to old ones, no matter how nice. And nothing is sweeter or more fulfilling than finally coming together with your soulmate. The Dyad united. The two that are one. 

But there never really was any going back, was there? The moment they met, the moment he had said “I feel it too”, nothing else would ever satisfy their need. They had lived half their lives as half a soul; so once the connection had been acknowledged, it would never stop yearning to be whole. 

The two that are one… Wasn’t there some old marriage vow like that… 

And so, when Ben enters her in a single deep stroke, it is the simplest and the most earth-shattering thing of all. It feels like the gravity of every single day of their lives that draws him inside, filling her to bursting. And then drawing back only to fill her again. There’s a stretch- one might even call it pain if it were not simply and unarguably the most wonderful thing she’s ever felt- then blinding, unspeakable pleasure. 

They’re both moaning already. Because it’s so, so good! Passing each other’s names between their gasping mouths, their hips surge to meet each time he pounds into her. Sweaty skin slapping and the place their bodies are joined making even more lude noises, is all the sound they can hear. Rey has her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her nails dig into his flesh. Her body shudders at a particularly hard thrust, her cunt squeezing around his hard shaft, already beginning to mount toward her climax. 

This is perfect. This is everything she has ever wanted. Him yes; but his body too. She needed this. His cock. She’s needed it for a long time. 

On those nights, alone in chamber at the top of the tower, she’d touched herself to the thought of him, of this moment. She found, as she sobbed great, fat, angry tears and convulsed on her own hand, that this was the one thing she regretted most of all- not having a chance to have done this before he was gone forever. It had been all she’d wanted. She ached for it: his cock. So deep inside her, coming inside her! She would climax at the thought of his seed filling her achingly empty cunt. Why, oh why, had she not held onto him a little longer. If, at least they had been able to do it once before he left, it would have been somewhat bearable. She would’ve had that memory to hold onto!

So then, drifting down from her orgasm she’d bust back into tears. And after a while, her furious hands would begin again. They worked in tandem, rubbing her clit raw while the other pounded two fingers into her drying channel. Some nights, that’s all she would do. Instead of sleeping, she would pathetically come over and over again to that thought of her dead love’s cum. 

And it wasn’t just him she mourned. She mourned that she would never have sex, never get to know what it felt like. Because she knew she never would! Not only would it have been a betrayal to Ben, but it would have felt wrong. The only one she wanted- would ever want- was him. But he had been dead. And nothing would ever change that, she thought; no matter how hard she screamed his name into the black night or no matter how many Sith books she read. And she hated herself for that more than anything…

But now he is here; and he’s hers. And in doing this act, he’s promised himself to her forever, just as she has to him. So, its more than joy, more than the feeling of true oneness that makes her grind her hips up into ever thrust. Its him. It's love. 

They’re both getting close now. At first, Ben had tried his best to be gentle, to make his strokes deep and slow. But now, he’s losing control. Grunting and huffing, he leans over her, gazing down with the same feeling she has in her heart, shing from his eyes. They lock gazes, and its so heated, so overwhelming, it nearly takes Rey’s breath away. 

Suddenly, without warning, Ben is dipping down to suck her bottom lip into his mouth, at the same time as he’s maneuvering her onto her side. Muscles rippling, he bends one knee up to her chest, making room between her legs and pushing back inside. Again, there’s the slightest stretch and then… pure bliss. This new angle takes him even deeper. The tip of him reaches a place deep inside that she didn’t know existed, but makes her eyes roll back in her head. 

No, THIS is what she’s always been missing!

“Oh, oh, Ben!” She cries as his picks up his pace. It has him grunting too, gasping her name in return. His grip of iron pins her hips in place as he fucks into her with abandon. “Yes, Ben, yes!” Oh, she can feel it coming! But then, he pushes her chest down into the bed so that he’s entering her from behind.

Oh, Force! Oh, shit! 

Rey bounces on her small breasts, as each thrust has her shoulders careening into the mattress. Hips still slapping obscenely into hers, Ben leans over so that he’s covering her body entirely. His hands wind into her hair, turning her face to kiss her desperately, before traveling down to where her arms are stretched out above her. Their hands find each other in the tangle of sheets and hold on for dear life. 

Ben Solo’s body is a powerhouse built of finetuned muscle and sinew. But even has limits. And he’s slowly coming apart at the seams. Desperation guides every frantic movement. He needs this. Rey doesn’t have the enough brainpower at the moment to wonder how long he’s longed for this. To wonder if he used to touch himself to thoughts of her, back before he became Ben again. Did he ever touch himself at all- or did both his masters forbid it; first Luke and then Snoke? But he must have, at least some, or he would never have been able to last this long. 

But he won’t last much longer. Kissing her neck and whispering her name, his heavy breaths are violent in her ear. 

Pausing to taste her lips, to gain control of himself again, Ben rest atop her for a moment. He’s still inside her, painfully hard, but still. Rey finds she likes the way it feels. Muscles clenching, she shifts herself softly on his cock, moaning then the ridge of the head finds a special patch inside her and works over it again and again.

That brings him back! And hissing, biting into her shoulder, he works himself out to sit back on his haunches. 

Rey is about to protest, to try to drag him back, but then he’s rolling her back onto her back with strong hands. She grins up at him. Hair a mess, face red and glistening with sweat, laid out for him, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The head of his shaft is a delicious pressure at her entrance once again. Ben buries his face in her tits as he buries his cock deep inside her. Each moment, each movement is a means to an end. He’s not messing around any longer. 

“Yes! Yes”, and, “Please…” Come for me; she thinks. Please. This, more than her own release- more than anything- is what she needs! Her body aches to be filled. Clenching, her cunt seems to be trying to suck him in, to draw him deeper. It grips him like a vice that will never let him go until it gets what it wants. 

She needs to feel him spilling inside her, to know that when he pulls out that a part of him will still be inside her. Because even if he leaves again, she will still some part of him with her always. It had been all she wanted in those lonely nights; the chance to have this just once- this one piece of him to cling to forever. And not that she has that opportunity, no one can take it away from her… not even him! 

Some part deep down inside whispers that she shouldn’t want this, but she doesn’t care.

Ben is one continuous moan now. Great drops of sweat drip from his forehead, his hair onto Rey’s chest, sliding down between her breasts. “Yes, Ben! Please." With her mind reeling with a thousand thoughts and emotions all at once, she feels herself nearing the end. She will be unmade tonight, but he will be there help her gather the pieces and put her back together. even stronger than before. 

“Hey”, he says suddenly, ripping her out of the blurry beginnings of her orgasm. She jerks her head to meet his intense stare. He’s still fucking her, but her wants something else. “Look at me.” He demands it, and yet his eyes are more vulnerable than they’ve ever been. “Look at me when you come, Rey. Please… I need to see you come for me.”

“Yes.” She wails, body keening with a new sharp pleasure at his words, beginning her orgasm anew. “Yes. I’m coming. I’m-.” 

“Because, I love you.” It startles her at with which ferocity he says it, gritting his teeth, slamming his hips into her spasming cunt. So close… She screams his name, forcing her tearful eyes to remain on his. Please come! Please come with me! I need it! And he’s crying too… “I love you, Rey.” 

“Oh, yes! Please!” She wails and pleads. 

“Rey, I love you so much!” SLAM. SLAM. SLAM. His cock twitches deep inside her, splitting her open. 

“Ben, Ben, Ben!” And she’s coming, hard and earth-shattering, and soul-rending; but she will not look away or let her eyes roll back in pleasure! 

“I- I love-. Oh, shit! Oh, Force… I’m- I’m coming, Rey!” And he cries out and he buries him so deep inside her she swears she can feel him in her chest. Twitching, shuddering, gasping her name, he comes so hard he nearly collapses, filling her to bursting with ropes of his seed; hot and thick, and nothing has ever felt so right!

Still so high she can do nothing but gasp for lungful’s of air, Rey opens her arms and Ben collapses on top of her. Their lips find each other through the mess of hair, sweat, and tears. “Ben”, she whispers again, when they’re getting too sleepy to kiss. She can feel her eyes drifting closed, the warm embrace of much needed sleep dragging her down. 

But she has to say it!

She meets his glassy, hooded eyes, and grins when she sees the happies smile in the Galaxy playing at his lips. “I love you.” She breathes. And she means it! “I love you too, Ben. I always will.” 

“I love you.” His reply is a just a mumbled whisper. And then his head falls down to her chest as he finally surrenders to a dreamless sleep. 

Rey’s final awareness before she joins him is his comforting weight on her breast, and the wet heat between her legs when she dips two fingers down to press the dripping cum back inside and locking her thighs tightly together, sealing him inside her forever…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this is where that dark thoughts tag really comes into play. And there's probably a place in there for a pregnancy kink tag as well. As you can tell; Rey's still pretty messed up. So don't expect smooth sailing just yet. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you're enjoying! Please leave me a comment to tell me your thoughts and predictions!


	8. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you most afraid of?” Luke’s ghostly spirit had asked her that day on Ach-To. “Myself”, she had replied. But she hadn’t known herself back then; no one had- save for Ben… But she does now. It may be the only thing left she really does know. Now, there’s only one fear on her mind; in truth, she should’ve feared it all along. It is the one thing that has the ability to take everything she holds dear away from her, just as it tried to before.

When she wakes, the moons have gone behind a cloud, turning the world outside to shadow. And there’s a shadow inside of Rey too. 

A lingering thought… She’s just woken from a dream; a nightmare. Rey can’t tell the difference anymore. Neither does she care. Her mind is consumed by only one thing. 

They had been speaking to her again, and for the first time they were more than shadows hiding just out of sight. They drew near, no longer needing to whisper from afar, giving her just a glimpse of their true forms. They had feared she’d be afraid. But they had calculated in error; for she had already met her worst fears, and they had scared her much more than they. 

“What are you most afraid of?” Luke’s ghostly spirit had asked her that day on Ach-To. “Myself”, she had replied. But she hadn’t known herself back then; no one had- save for Ben… But she does now. It may be the only thing left she really does know. Now, there’s only one fear on her mind; in truth, she should’ve feared it all along. It is the one thing that has the ability to take everything she holds dear away from her, just as it tried to before. 

Slipping herself out from under Ben’s arm, Rey rises up on an elbow to gaze at him. He looks so happy. His face is so soft when he’s like this. She realizes with a jolt that she’s never seen him sleeping before (and she doesn’t count the time he was knocked unconscious when they ripped the lightsaber in two). The revelation makes a small place deep inside her heart begin to ache. The feeling only grows. 

Rey’s hand is still resting on Ben’s chest. She takes a moment to run it gently across all that relaxed muscle, trying to memorize the rhythm of his stomach rising and falling. This whole torso used to be covered in scars and puckered flesh, but now it’s smooth as an angel’s or a newborn babe’s- maybe he is in a way. 

So then, Rey does what she hadn’t had a chance to do when he was awake; she lowers her mouth to him and runs her lips up and down the expanse of bared skin. It’s such a deeply personal, and yet erotic thing, that she loses herself to it, spending what seems like a small eternity breathing him in and making mess of his chest with the tip of her tongue and her open, gasping mouth. 

Perhaps if he didn’t feel so contented and safe, if he was still Kylo Ren, he would have woken from her ministrations, but he’s been through so much lately- not least of which, making sweet love to her just before- that he doesn’t even stir. 

Finally, she works her way up to the base of his neck, getting a little too carried away in suckling at his collarbone and leaving behind a few dark blotches. She doesn’t think they’ll be visible in the morning, but a part of her thrills at the thought that they might be, and that the others will see. 

Ever so carefully, she winds her fingers in his thick, dark hair. And it’s so perfect that she almost audibly groans. Twisting a strand around and around her finger, she gazes down into his beautiful face. She loves his face. If someone were to ask her to find one flaw, she couldn’t do it. Every feature is perfect and unique, from the gentle slope of his brow to the point of his nose. She nearly bursts into tears starring at it. And each freckle and beauty mark breaks her heart a little more as she presses her lips to each one. 

It’s just his lips left then… Trembling, she traces the tip of a finger around the outside of the flushed pink, before moving slowly to caress each lip with tender slowness. His breath is hot against her; and it makes her long to chase that warmth, to dip a finger inside and feel his lips close around it. But she holds herself back. 

When her lips seal against his, that’s when the tears begin to fall. But she furiously wipes them away before they can drip onto his face and wake him. She’s not going to let anything steal this moment from her. 

Rey tries not to think about that first time she had felt this kiss, moments before he’d fallen from her arms and faded from existence. She tries, but she does not succeed. Thankfully, the memory only fuels her resolve… 

Pulling away to gaze at him one last time, Rey slips her feet out from beneath the sheets and maneuvers awkwardly to the edge of the bed, being careful to keep her thighs tightly pressed together. She summons her clothing with the Force from the corners of the room, where they’d been thrown when Ben was undressing her. More carefully still, she pulls her feet through the holes in her leggings, standing at the same time she yanks them up. 

There; now she can relax a little. 

Dressing quickly into same clothes she’d had on before, she finds the small satchel she’d brought with her in the corner. She’d already stuffed her old clothes inside, beside her folded lightsaber and datapad, and that carefully folded scrap of black fabric she hasn’t been able to bring herself to leave behind. She doesn’t really need it when the real thing is lying five feet away. But its somehow comforting; they’ve been through a lot together, that sweater and her.

Rey crosses the room quickly, forcing herself to keep moving, because if she stops, she might never started again. But just outside the door, she pauses to turn and take one last look. Not too long; she tells herself. The moon light is shining on his skin, making him glow blue like the ghost she’d half hoped and half feared- because she’d know he really was dead- would come to her during that long year. Don’t think about it! Don’t think about being wrapped tight in those strong arms all night, and then waking to feel his body warm and ready for you again in the morning… 

On stiff legs, fists clenched, Rey pads her way down the path from Finn’s house to the clearing where the other buildings stand in a circle around the common area. There are a few people milling about outside the mess hall, but besides them, the area is empty. 

The glow of the dying campfire off to her right catches her eye as she goes by. Someone must’ve been keeping it going this late into the night, though she can’t tell if anyone’s still there. Adjusting the bag’s strap on her shoulder, she quickens her pace, veering off to the left. The last thing she needs it to be seen by someone she knows!

An open hanger has been constructed on the other end of the clearing. It serves as a mechanic shop as well as storage for official and personal ships. There are few dozen parked there now, ranging in all makes and models, but most of them outdated piles of junk. In that way, the Falcon fits right in, positioned on the outer edge. Though, it’s larger than many of the other ships here; she’ll give it that. 

Ben’s seed still tucked safely inside her, Rey skirts along the edge, just inside the shadow of the overhang. It’s probably mostly dried now, and would be slightly uncomfortable if it wasn’t a reminder of the union they’d shared, that means he’ll still be with her even after she’s gone. 

Not forever, she reminds herself. Just until I’ve accomplished what needs to be done…

With a scavenger’s eye, she scans the selection of ships as she jogs by on tiptoe. Still nothing. She’s looking for something very specific. Something small and fast. Maybe just a little further down…

Too late, she realizes that Chewie might be sleeping onboard the Falcon and that she should steer clear of it at all costs. There’s a glow coming from where the ramp is open, and Rey doesn’t see the shadow until it’s too late to backpedal. 

Its Finn. Glass in hand, he’d been leaning against the landing gear of the ship, slowly sipping. But suddenly, he startles up straight when he sees her. She considers turning and running in the opposite direction as fast as she can, but he might come after her, or sound the alarm. Maybe she can just bluff and pretend she was coming to visit Chewie… in the middle of the night… with a packed bag…?

In fact, that is exactly what she intends to do, until she sees the look on Finn’s face. Uncertain. Careful. Afraid. 

And suddenly, she’s too angry to pretend! 

“Rey? What- what are you doing?” Rey can feel the anger rising inside her, nearing the boiling point. She balls her hands into fists and refuses to speak. “Rey…” He asks again, his voice adopting a note of fear on top of the concern. As he slowly draws near, he puts out a hand to reassure her, as if she’s a wounded animal in need of soothing. 

He should be afraid…

“Hey. Are you alright?” He very close now, hand reaching for her shoulder. Finn glances behind her and then scans the clearing. “Where’s Solo?” 

Rey nearly bursts out laughing at that. Over a year ago, Ben has been the threat, the one to fear; and now he’s the only they look toward to protect them from her? Hadn’t she been the one thing standing between them and the wrath of Kylo Ren for more than a year? Yes. And they had never once thanked her for it. 

“What’s the matter, Finn?” She sneers. “You’re not strong enough in the Force to protect yourself from me?” 

Finn stumbles back as if the words had physically slapped him. He stares at her, confusion creasing his features. “Rey? I don’t understand. I don’t understand what I did to make you angry with me.” She has to roll her eyes up into her head and press her eyes tight shut, to keep herself from snapping. “I did everything I could.” He insists, “I did this all for you.”

The audacity! He really has the bullocks to look her in the face and say those words?! “For me?” she spits, feeling her body tense with barely controlled anger. “You only brought him back so you could use him against me! You would have let him stay dead, even after you figured it out, if I gave up and came back. You probably wouldn’t have even told me.” 

“Rey, no.” Finally, finally, he’s getting angry himself. She’s so tired of his pathetic begging. “All I’ve ever wanted was to help you. I saw what the Dark Side was doing to you. It was changing you. You could’ve killed me and Poe that one time, you know!” 

Rey glances away, simmering with rage. But she knows it’s true. She’d lost control for a moment, but she’d never wanted to hurt them. 

“But I know that, that wasn’t you.” Finn insists, summoning the courage to close the distance between them. “I know you were hurting. I know we weren’t there for you when you needed us.” His voice grows softer, but it only makes her more angry. “We did want to stop you, yes, from hurting yourself and other people… but we knew the only thing that could help you feel better was him. That’s why we brought him back.” 

Slowly, Rey’s face lifts, and Finn nearly stumbles over himself to step away when he sees the smirk slithering its way across her face. “But you’re wrong. He isn’t the only thing I need to feel better…” She shakes her head, crowding up, into his space. “And I was wrong. I thought that was all I needed too. But needed something else just as badly, only I didn’t realize it until now.”

She wants him to ask. She can tell he knows it. But stubbornly, he refuses. The long seconds hang agonizingly in the air between them. 

“Revenge”, she finally whispers, and she delights when he shudders. “Don’t worry; not on you. I have no desire for you to get hurt.” She hopes this is all the indication he’ll need to know not to get in her way. “In fact, I’m avenging you, and every single person hurt in this war, ripped away from their families or brainwashed into fighting for a higher power that cares nothing for the lives it ruins, just as long as it wins.” 

He moves to speak, but she stops him. Her voice turns soft, soothing, genuine. “Aren’t you tired, Finn? Aren’t you tired of fighting other people’s wars?” 

“The war IS over.”

“Don’t you think that’s what Leia and Han and Luke thought all those years ago? They thought Palpatine was dead and gone where he could never hurt them again. Do you think they expected to have their beloved son ripped away by the same darkness that took their father and mother? Do you think they anticipated begin thrown back into the same war they thought they’d won, before suffering and dying in protection of the Light?” 

“Of course not!” He snaps. “But that was their choice to make. And we should honor their sacrifices!” 

“I don’t think you realize that this war has been going on since the beginning of time”, she says, “and it will keep on going until the Galaxy implodes. The Light and the Dark; they cannot coexist. So our children and our children’s children will be fighting and dying in the squabble between the two sides unless someone puts a stop to it.” Rey’s blood is humming, her chest rising and falling in exhilaration. “Don’t you see; I’m trying to protect our future.”

Swallowing, Finn backs away several steps; but he can’t look away from the gleam in her eye. “There must be another way.” He whispers.

“There isn’t.”

“So, you’re just going to leave!?” Hurt flashing in his eyes, he demands. “You’re just going to leave us-- leave him!?” 

Rey raises her chin sharply. She will not have him questioning her love for Ben! Never that! “I will do what I must. To protect you all.” 

There’s a moment, where their eyes are locked and they’re on equal ground, when she thinks maybe he’ll give in. He seems to be thinking long and hard. A million expressions are flitting across his face. Rey almost allows herself to feel relief, because this would be so much easier have his help, to not have to do this alone. But his face finally settles on defiant and stubborn. 

Rey is exhaling deeply through her nose even before the words are out of his mouth. 

“I can’t let you do this.”

“And you think you can stop me?” Why does he have to be like this? Perhaps he hasn’t suffered enough to know true pain…

Of course, he can’t stop her. He knows he can’t. As Rey swivels, Finn’s hand shoots out to grab her arm, but she ducks out of his grasp. “Please, Rey.” 

“I won’t forget this.” She swears low under her breath. “If you try to turn Ben against me again, I’ll never forgive you.” And she means it too. She’s already angry enough with him that she can barely look him in the eye! “Don’t even think about trying to follow me.”

And then she’s dashing through the maze of parked ships, feet barely touching the ground and the cool night air in her face. Briefly, she registers the calls of Finn and Chewbacca behind her, and there are others waking up too. Their shouts of, “What’s going on”, and “Hey, who’s that”, echo across the clearing. But Rey ignores them. She sets her sights on one of the ships in the distance, and she runs for it with all her might. 

She really hopes no one catches up. She is determined not to hurt any innocents on her path to justice. 

Rey disappears out of sight, dodging between freighters and transport ships. Damn she’s fast! Finn thinks; running as fast as he can, Chewie on his heals. There’s no way they’re going to catch her. 

He sees, even before he’s reached the place, one of the ships, a purple, one-passenger gunship slowly rising into the air. Through the cockpit window, he glimpses Rey’s dark, messy hair. And that’s when it it hits him. She’s doing it! She’s really leaving!

A moment later, something big and bulky crashes into his shoulder as it goes racing by. Finn stumbles and has to catch himself on the side of a ship as he watches Ben Solo screech to a stop just below Rey’s stolen, rising ship. Hair a wild mess- not even wearing a shirt, Solo extends a hand toward the ship, mouthing her name. For a second, Finn thinks maybe he’s going to grab onto it with the Force, just as he and Rey did with the transport on Pasaana. But as the cloud of dust settles and her ship grows higher and higher, Ben stumbles to his knees to stare up as she fades from view. 

Neither of them move, or speak. Together, they gaze up into the cloudy night sky until she’s little more than a speck on the horizon. And when she jumps into lightspeed, Ben finally drops his head down into his hands. 

“Hey!” Poe’s cry makes Finn turn. His friend’s questioning gaze darts from Finn to Ben, and then Finn again. “What happened?” He demands. Ben doesn’t reply, but when Finn catches a glimpse of his face he sees only disbelief. 

Finn shakes his head. He can’t believe it either…

“She’s gone.” He whispers. And then again, louder this time. He meets Poe’s gaze. “Rey’s gone…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright ya'll. Don't freak out. We still have a long way to go before our happy ending. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. Again, please let me know what you think!


	9. Restoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swallowing, Finn slowly begins drawing something out of the junk. “I didn’t think to give it to you before we went to get Rey. And afterward… I guess I wasn’t sure how you’d feel seeing it again.” Carefully- almost reverently- Finn places it in his hands and takes a few steps back to watch. 
> 
> Immediately, Ben feels a tingle of electricity arc through his fingers the moment he wraps his hands around it; and with a sinking sensation in his gut, he unties the clasp and throws back the fabric.

It’s very late the next morning when Ben finally emerges from the house. After what happened, he’d gotten very little sleep, the bed feeling too empty after she’d been in it with him. He’d spent an extra long time in the fresher, thinking. And crying; yes, there’d been a bit of that too. He’d just spent his first night with Rey- with anyone-, told her he loved her, gave her everything he had. And then she’d just left… Just like that. No goodbye. No note left behind in explanation. Just yelling from outside the building, and Ben waking to find Rey was no longer at his side. 

She’d said she loved him too. And she’d meant it. He’s sure of it! So, what had gone wrong? Was he really not enough for her? Clearly not. Last night, Finn had explained to the others his confrontation with Rey, how she’d said something about having a higher calling and getting revenge. But Ben hadn’t been listening. She was gone. That was all that mattered. 

When he walked out of his room that morning, he’d found a steaming plate of food waiting on the dining table. One of the others had no doubt left it for him. He appreciated the gesture- he really did, but he couldn’t even bring himself to touch it. He felt sick. He needed only one thing; to see Rey, to know that she was ok and to hold her so tightly she could never get away again! 

But she’d left, without telling anyone where she was going or why. That means he’ll have to look somewhere else for answers… 

Rose is the only one in the clearing when he comes bursting out of the house. She’s leaning up against the side of an old speeder bike, picking apart and munching on the little flower-petal like pods of the outside of a pink leetachoke root. She merely glances up as he strides by. 

Ben is too distracted to be worried about the awkwardness between them. Squeezing his fists so hard his nails bite into his palms, he searches the area. “I need to borrow a ship!” He says, not talking to her as much as making a statement. He needs to get going. Now! “Where’s Chewie?” 

Lazily getting to her feet, Rose wanders over. “You’re not thinking about going after her, are you?” 

“No”, he replies, to her surprise. “I’m not. We already tried that, and it didn’t exactly work, did it?” 

Rose glances from the ship hanger to Poe’s shack. “I hope you’re not planning of stealing a ship. The guy who owned that ship your girlfriend took was pretty angry. Poe and Finn had a hell of a time trying to get that straightened out this morning. You know, since most of these people didn’t even know you guys were here.” 

A flash of guilt pinches Ben’s gut, but he can’t worry about that now. He’s got to find Chewie and convince to let him borrow the Falcon!

Suddenly, Rose is yelling out from behind him, nearly causing him to have a mini heart attack. “Finn. Hey, Finn! He’s awake. Come take care of your… guest.” She says it like it’s a dirty word. It’s probably the nicest way she can put it. 

Before he can turn around, he hears the sound of feet padding toward him through the grass. Finn joins him in the open, then motions him into the shade of a patch of trees. It really is a warm day, and the suns beating down from a cloudless sky aren’t helping one bit. 

Rose goes back to leaning on her speeder, while Finn finds an old log and takes a seat. But Ben prefers to stand. “So, what’s going on?” Finn asks. He seems to have noticed that Ben’s wearing the borrowed blaster at his belt and looks about ready to start a fight. 

“I need a ship.” Ben states plainly. 

Finn frowns. “You got a plan? Do you have any idea where she might have gone? I mean you guys have that Force Dyad thing, right?” 

Sighing, Ben slumps against a nearby tree, feeling the spiky bark poke into his back. It feels strangely good; like a point at which to ground himself to, so he doesn’t feel like he’s just floating numbly inside his body. Speaking of the Force Bond; Ben had tried connecting to her last night. But it appears their encounter with Palpatine and their separation has weakened it. 

That, or she’s shutting him out… 

“No. I have no idea. The Dyad thing isn’t working.” He sighs. “I guess she could’ve gone back to her castle on Regeeth II. But who knows…” Glancing over Finn’s shoulder, he notices that, yes, Rose is listening in on their conversation. “I have to go somewhere else. I need answers about what she’s planning. Real answers.” 

“Where?” Finn leans in curiously. Ben would rather not get into this with him now, not when every second Rey is trapped in the Dark side and something terrible could be happening to her. And, bringing up anything that reminds him on his past is painful and awkward. But he supposes he owes Finn an explanation.

“There’s an oracle on this planet called Mustafar. I went there just after I’d received the message that The Emperor had returned.” ‘As Kylo Ren’; he doesn’t add. “That’s where I found the wayfinder that led me to Exegol. But I had to confront an Oracle before that.” He nearly feels a shudder at the memory- of that sunken infant’s head where the spider-like creature sat, feeding off the helpless thing as it silently cried out in agony. 

“It knew things about me”, he says, gazing at the grass under his toes, “about my grandfather… It told me if I continued on my path, I’d encounter my true self.”

“And you did”. Finn is speaking before he’s even realized. The two men’s eyes meet, and an understanding passes between them. “You became Ben Solo again.”

“Just like it said”, Ben confirms with a nod. “So I figure, if anyone can tell me how to help Rey and what she’s really up to; it’s the Oracle.” Slapping his hands against his thighs, he pushes him away from the tree trunk. “I just need to find Chewie and ask to borrow the Falcon.” He glances at Finn, who’s gazing thoughtfully at the ground, still seated on the stump. “Have you seen him this morning.” 

Finn’s quiet a long moment. He seems to be lost in thought, as Ben keeps starring at him. “Borrow?” He finally says, frowning. “You’re not taking him with you? You’re going alone?” 

“Yes. I can handle it myself.”

But Finn’s rising quickly to his feet. “But you’re taking your blaster… So, it’s going to be dangerous.”

“Not my blaster”, Ben mutters, rolling his eyes. He waves a hand dismissively. “I mean it could be. But it also could be dangerous asking a Wookie to borrow his ship. I’ve dealt with a lot worse. It’s not necessary to involve anyone else.”

“That’s stupid!” Finn blurts, making Ben’s eyebrows shoot up in response. He’s about to start getting angry, when the other man lifts a hand. “You should have at least one person with you. I mean, you’re the only one who Rey will even listen to. And besides, if you die, there’ll at least be one person left to bring back what the Oracle said.” 

Crossing his arms, trying not to get too annoyed, Ben waits for Finn to finish. “So, what are you saying?” And Ben is surprised when he raises his chin defiantly and meets Ben’s piercing stare. 

“I’m saying, I want to come with you.”

‘No. No way!’ Should be him immediate response. He should just walk away and pretend Finn never said anything- not like he’d let him. Ben isn’t good at working with others. He never has been. And really, he doesn’t need the help, or the distraction/potential risk. He’d faced the Oracle on his own once before; he can do it again! 

But he doesn’t have to, he reminds himself. Things are different now. He’s different now, or at least he’s trying to be. And Finn is the one who wants to go. It won’t be Ben’s fault if any harm comes to him. Right? 

“That’s really not necessary…” Ben begins, face guarded. He watches the younger man’s expression carefully. But he doesn’t get any farther before Finn is cutting him off.

“I know.” He says simply, a challenge in his eyes. “But I want to go. I want to help.” The corners of his mouth push up in a grin that catches Ben off guard. “Besides, I’ve never seen an oracle before. Sould be pretty interesting.” 

Despite himself, Ben finds his own lips twitching into a smirk. He still isn’t too keen on the idea of spending any long period of alone time with someone who has every reason to hate him, but he will admit, he does feel the tiniest bit better knowing he won’t be going in without backup. “Alright, fine.” He sighs, and Finn only gins wider. “But we’d better get going.” 

He’s already turning to head for the Falcon, but Finn isn’t finished. “Actually…” He reaches out to grab Ben’s arm- to stop him, but he quickly drops it back to his side. “I have something I need to show you…” 

…

To Ben’s surprise, Finn leads him straight into the storage room where he’s staying, where he and Rey had spent the night last night. 

Finn marches straight in, but Ben freezes in place in the doorway. His eyes fall on the small bed in the corner, the rumpled sheets haphazardly strewn across it. In his miserable state, it hadn’t occurred to him anyone would want to come in here. His face flames when he glances to the bed again. He probably should have changed the sheets. 

When he realizes Finn is looking at him, his eyes quickly snap away from the bed, and to where Finn in kneeling down beside a large crate with half the lid still nailed on. 

As he joins him at the other side of the room, he finds himself unable to look Finn in the eye, not when the bed he and Rey had made passionate love on, is only feet away. His skin tingles at the memory, but he regains control of his thoughts. What he’s not going to do, is start getting aroused in the same room as Rey’s ex best friend! 

But thankfully, the other man is too busy with wrestling the top off the crate to notice. Grunting, he rips the last plank off the top and shoves his hand inside. From what Ben can see, the thing is full of old junk and scraps of old cloth. 

“So, a few months back, Jannah- you know who Jannah is right?” Ben doesn’t. He shakes his head. “She lives on Ajan Kloss”, Finn explains. “She was there when you and Rey were fighting on the Death Star wreckage, out in the ocean.” 

Everything right before his mother had called out to him and he’d been stabbed through the stomach with his own lightsaber it a little blurry for Ben. But he does have a vague memory of Finn and another woman running along the wreckage toward them, before Rey had slammed him flat onto his back with the Force. The young woman must have helped Finn escape after he and Rey had jumped further into waves.

“Anyway. It doesn’t matter…” Finn cuts through his thoughts with a wave of his hand. “She’s the first person we met when we arrived. She helped us get out to the Death Star.” Finn pauses, face softening. “She was also a Stormtrooper once too.” And Ben lifts his head sharply at that. “She was the only other one I’ve ever met who was able to get away…” 

Ben can’t tell if it makes him feel better or worse. On one hand, he’d never been the one in charge of the Stormtroopers- opting to go on solo missions or take only the Knights of Ren. But on the other, he held the second highest rank in the First Order for many years, and then was Supreme Leader for one. He hadn’t lifted a finger to help any of them during that time. 

But no; Ben thinks. He does feel better. That’s one more person able to break away from the brainwashing and cruelty of the organization that had stolen away all of their lives. He’s glad for that at least! 

“Well”, shaking himself a little, Finn continues. “After the war, she and the other people living there decided to start cleaning up the wreckage. Now that there’s peace in the Galaxy again, they want to clean up their world too. They’re planning to use it to make buildings and ships of their own.” Finn glances at Ben, then continues rummaging. 

“When I dropped by to visit her a few months ago, she told me she’d scavenged some interesting things from the Death Star and the surrounding area. She gave them to me in case there was anything important having to do with the Empire or Emperor that we might want to have.” He seems to have reached the bottom of the crate. His hand stills, buried deep. Swallowing, Finn slowly begins drawing something out of the junk. 

“I didn’t think to give it to you before we went to get Rey. And afterward… I guess I wasn’t sure how you’d feel seeing it again.” It’s some hard object about the length of Ben’s forearm wrapped in a scrap of leather and lashed closed. Carefully- almost reverently- Finn places it in his hands and takes a few steps back to watch. 

Immediately, Ben feels a tingle of electricity arc through his fingers the moment he wraps his hands around it; and with a sinking sensation in his gut, he unties the clasp and throws back the fabric to reveal- to reveal…

It’s as if the suns have just disappeared on a warm day, how he imagines it would feel if every light in the Galaxy were extinguished in a single moment. It’s how he’d felt in the dark years after he’d joined Snoke and became Kylo Ren, before Rey had come into his life. His skin is instantly clammy, cold and irritated and hot all at same time. 

Because in his hands- the one thing he never dreamed he’d see again- is his old lightsaber. Kylo Ren’s lightsaber.

The moment his flesh touches the metal, a thousand memories burst inside his head. He relives every death, every battle, every time he’d pressed the ignition switch, back to the very first time he’d ignited the crimson blade after bleeding it with his own pain and blood. And he can feel it now; the shards of crystal slicing deep into his palm, splitting, just like his very soul until the moment Dad and Mom and Rey had helped heal it. 

Ben knew this would happen. That’s why he’d tossed the cursed thing far into the ocean. He knew it would only remind him of his past, and that was the last thing he needed where he was going. To save Rey and to make things right for all the horrible things he’d done. 

And yet, here it is… back in his hand… The Jedi Apprentice, Ben Solo’s lightsaber turned into a broken, blood-soaked weapon of destruction. He’d wanted to get rid of it! But sometimes things from your past have a way of coming back to haunt you. To remind you… 

“I never thought I’d see this again…” With a thick swallow, Ben lets the soft leather fall away and wraps his hands tightly around the cold steel hilt. It feels familiar in his palm, painfully so- but strangely comforting in a way. It is as if the Force is trying to remind him of something. 

“Let the past die”, he’d once told Rey. “Kill it if you have to.” But in the end, the past is the very thing that have saved him from himself. This had been Kylo Ren’s saber, but it had also been Ben Solo’s. It had been used to hurt so many people. But also for good too. And now that Ben had been restored, been returned to help the Galaxy once again… shouldn’t his weapon be too? He is going to need all the help he can get. 

Slowly, blinking the wetness from his lashes, Ben raises his head to meet Finn’s eyes. He doesn’t try to hide his emotion- not anymore. He’s far beyond that. “Thank you”, he whispers. And of course, he means it for so much more than the other man could know. “Thank you, Finn.” He repeats, and Finn nods, a little awkwardly. “This is exactly what I needed.” 

… 

“Hey.”

Finn glances up when he hears Rose approaching from behind. Craning his neck back, he watches her come around the log and sit down beside him. 

“Hey…” 

They sit quietly in the shade of the larger trees deeper into the forest. Rose brings her elbows up to her knees, leans her chin on her knuckles, and Finn watches.

She really has changed. Her hair is long now, glistening in the sunlight filtering through the trees. Her skin glistens with a light sheen of sweat, making it shimmer almost as much as those dark, intelligent eyes. Unexpectedly, Finn finds himself swallowing thickly. She really is beautiful. He doesn’t mean to stare, but this is the first time they’ve been alone since she arrived. 

Well- not really alone…

Finn watches Rose’s eyes find the spot he’d been starring for the past twenty minutes. Off in the forest, several yards away, Ben Solo sits atop a large pile of rocks, cross-legged and hovering over the wide, flat rock at the top. He has his back to them, but Finn knows on instinct that Ben’s eyes are closed. In his hands, he holds the dark-hilted lightsaber he’d carried as Kylo Ren. 

The moment Finn had seen it, he knew! He’d actually sensed it when his fingers had grazed the hilt while digging through the pile of junk Jannah had sent. Something in his connection to the Force had recognized the crimson blade immediately upon impact. 

But of course, it did! This was the same weapon that had knocked him unconscious, face first into the snow; slicing his back open and leaving him scarred all down the length of his back for the rest of his life. He hadn’t woken until days later, on board a Resistance transport. The first thought in his mind- first word out his mouth had been “Rey”. Only then did he find out, by no choice of his own, he had abandoned her to fight Kylo Ren alone on Starkiller Base that night. 

But everything had turned out alright in the end. And all his wounds are healed now, only occasionally causing him discomfort. An itching sensation in the middle of the night. A chafing under the course material of his trousers. It could have been so much worse though. Solo could’ve killed him that night; just one more to add to the pile growing on top of his conscience. 

“What’s he doing?” Raising a hand to shield her face, she squints across the forest at Solo. He’s not the only thing floating now. Rocks, sticks, small plants have risen into the air and are spinning in a lazy circle around the quiet Force-user. Jedi? Is Finn supposed to call him that now? Was he even a jedi to begin with? 

Rose’s blushed lips part and form an O as she begins to understand. “Is that- is that THE lightsaber?”

“The same one”, Finn confirms, lips twitching at the irony. “Jannah found it in the ocean on Ajan Kloss. 

“So, he’s- he’s trying to…”

“Heal it. Yeah.” Finn doesn’t quite understand how it works, but he knows that much. From what he’d read in Rey’s Jedi texts, he knows that both bleeding and healing a Kyber Crystal is a difficult process. It requires a great amount of emotion and strength in the Force. He doesn’t know what happened during Ben’s fall to the Dark Side, but it certainly must have been incredibly painful, if it was enough to crack and turn a blue crystal into that unstable, crackling beam of light. 

The pair watches as Solo’s hands lift, levitating the saber in midair; the outer shell cracking open to reveal the wiring and crystal beneath. Finn feels Rose’s gaze fall on him, considering him. “So, you’re really planning on going with Solo?” She asks after a long pause. 

Finn replies simply; “Yes.” He can tell she’s skeptical, but he’s not going for Solo. He’s going for himself! 

“I sure hope he’s got your back, like you would have his. If it’s really going to be dangerous…” She purses her lips, and Finn realizes with a flush of secret delight, that she’s worried about him. “I’m still not sure that I trust him. I mean Rey said he’s changed, gone back to the Light, or whatever. But now I don’t think we can trust Rey either.”

“I know” he sighs. “Believe me, Rose. I know.” It particularly stings; hearing those words out loud. They really can’t trust Rey anymore!

Fiddling with her hands in her lap, Rose drops her eyes to stare at them. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. You’re a good person, Finn. And he could take advantage of that.” 

“I know it sounds crazy”, he replies. And before he realizes he’s doing it, he’s suddenly grabbing her arm and running his hand down to curl around both of hers. “But I don’t think he’s going to.” 

Her eyes flicker to his, a little softer now. She smirks when she sees the grin on his face. “Why?” 

“Just a feeling.” 

And they both start laughing. It had become a joke among all of them, because Finn was always feeling things through the Force; and often times, didn’t even understand why or what they meant.

Rose’s gaze lands on their clasped hands. And for what seems like an eternity, Finn holds his breath, waiting for her reaction. It’s like a shadow passes over her face, something a tiny bit sad but strangely a little humorous. Her eyes swivel to him, her expression unreadable. 

“So”, she begins carefully, “how are things between you and Poe?” Poe? Blinking quickly, he frowns and shakes his head. Wait! She doesn’t think they…? 

“Uh, what do you mean?” A beat. “I mean, we’re getting along just fine.” 

Now it’s Rose’s turn to look confused. A little furrow forms between her brows, accentuated by gleaming sweat. “You’re not together? I thought surely-. I figured it would’ve finally happened during all that time I was away.” Finn is shaking his head, furiously now. “Are you serious? Really?”

“No. Why would you think that?!” He says. He should be indignant and shocked, but more than anything, he feels flustered; because if Rose had noticed, maybe everyone else had too. And he doesn’t think he likes that one bit! 

“You’re kidding, right?” She looks genuinely offended. “You guys have always been so close, always touching and sitting so close. All those lingering looks! Finn, it doesn’t take a genius to see that you have feeling for each other!” Rolling her eyes, she gives his hand a little, playful tug. “I’m just surprised he hasn’t done anything about it yet!”

He? Poe? She means Poe? Finn feels like he’s been struck across the face. 

“Him? You thought he’d do something?” 

Rose frowns, withdrawing a bit to be able to look at him properly. One of her hands leaves his to curl against his shoulder in concern. “Yeah. I figured he’d do something before you would.”

“Oh, he did something.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out so angry. None of this is her fault. “He rejected me; that’s what he did!” And as he says it, his face heats, the shame of it making him unable to look at her. 

“He… rejected you?” She sounds like he can’t believe it either. 

Shaking his head, he lowers his forehead into the palm of his hand. “He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship right now. He said he didn’t know how he felt, and it was better if we just stayed friends.” The way he’s telling it, it makes it sound like he went to Poe and offered up some grand gesture of love. But really, they’d only been forced into talking about it when he went to Poe’s room later and tried to finish the kiss that had been interrupted earlier. 

“We almost kissed”, he mumbles pitifully. “I know, in that moment, he wanted to.”

“Almost”. Asks Rose, cautiously.

“We were interrupted…” 

Her comforting hand tightens on his arm. “Oh, Finn… I’m sorry.”

“I’m just-.” A deep sigh from Finn. “I honestly just wish it hadn’t happened at all! He doesn’t even feel the same…”

“Did he say he didn’t have feelings for you?”

“Well, no…” Finn replies slowly. “But he said he didn’t know how he felt. So he really can’t have liked me that much if he didn’t even know!” 

Sighing herself, Rose slides her hand across his back to wrap an around his shoulders. She leans the side of her temple softly against his arm. “I don’t believe that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Finn. The way he’s ALWAYS looked at you. Maybe he just wasn’t ready.” Finn merely huffs in response. “I think you shouldn’t give up on him so quickly. Try one more time with Poe-.” Finn jerks his head, mouth flying open to retort. But Rose is already raising a finger. “And if he doesn’t feel the same, then you can feel free to move on; knowing you did bigger thing.”

“But, Finn.” She raises her head to look him dead in the eye. “Don’t waste your time just waiting around for someone to finally notice you. You deserve to have the things you want. You deserve to be happy.” 

A little lump is forming in Finn’s throat. Giving in, not worrying about the implications anymore, he wraps an arm around his friend and draws her closer. He chuckles softly as he leans his head against hers; and for the briefest moment, his lips brush her temple. “When did you get so wise about stuff like this?” 

She laughs. “When I realized I needed to stop waiting around for you.”

“Me?!”

“Yes.” Her chuckle is light and soft. Like sunlight itself. “In case you didn’t notice, I had the biggest crush on you for the longest time.” 

Finn’s mouth falls open. He can’t believe it! “Yeah I knew. But I thought it just sorta went away.” 

“Yeah, eventually; when I realized you weren’t going to do anything.” She notices the way he’s gaping and brings up her pointer finger to wiggle in his face. “I kissed you. I said something about saving what you love- RIGHT after saving you! I don’t know how more forward than that you can get! But then you never said anything…” 

“You had just hit me with a ship.” Finn exclaims. He doesn’t really mean to sound so defensive. “You were two seconds from being unconscious! I didn’t think you really meant it!”

Rose shrugs. A distant look in her eyes, her jaw locks as her gaze fixes on Ben Solo’s muscular back again. “Sometimes that’s when you mean it the most.”  
Huh… Funny the things you find out after it’s too late. But is it? It is ever really too late?

“So, you moved on then? You found someone else?” He nonchalantly asks. 

“No.” Rose says it wistfully, like she’s secretly living in the memory of a special moment. “I mean, I did for a little while. But we wanted different things.” She shoots him a grin that nearly makes his heart stop. “But the point is; I went after what I wanted.” And when he glances away, she grabs his chin softly and makes him look at her. 

“Give Poe another chance, because I know you still want him. You owe that to yourself. But if it doesn’t work out, go after whatever it is that you want most. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Even if it takes you away from him, do what you want to do! You deserve it.” 

There are tears in his eyes. When did they get there?! 

He owes Rose so much; especially for everything she’s taught him since they met. Right now, looking at her- so beautiful and unburdened- he could kiss her. But his thoughts are on her last words. Because immediately, his mind went to one place as soon as she said it. His eyes flicker up to where Solo is still hovering. 

The thing you want most…

“Thank you, Rose.” Blinking back tears he whispers. “But there’s only one thing I really want right now. And that’s to understand my connection to the Force.” He glances at her, then back away. “I want to understand it, but I also want to master it. I want to learn about all the things I could do with it! But I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I can’t figure it out on my own. And there’s no one left to teach me.” More tears spring to his eyes unbidden. “I just don’t know what to do…”

“Finn…” Eyes darting back and forth, she searches his face. As always, her expression is wise, all-knowing. And then suddenly, she’s not looking at him anymore, but has turned to fix her gaze pointedly on the Force-user before them- on Ben Solo. “I think you know…” She whispers, “I think you know exactly what you need to do.”

And, as always; she’s right. Because the realization hits him in that very same a second. 

He does know. 

…

Exhausted, numb, but body still humming with the Force- vibrating with it; Ben slowly collapses back to solid ground. His muscles ach from all that strain, but when he finally opens his eyes, he knows it was worth it! Slowly, with heart hammering in his ears, he uncurls his fist from where it’s been tightly clasped around the crystal tucked safely in his palm. He lets out a breath of surprise when he sees it. 

Whole, shining, rounded at one end and branching out into two soft points at the other, and blue- the purest blue you ever did see. There in his palm lies his Kyber Crystal. HIS Kyber Crystal. It had recognized them the moment they had been reunited; just as it had on the day Luke had given it to him. And now, it responds to his touch, thrumming in his hand like a second heartbeat. 

And if the heart is not really that thing inside his chest made of tissue and sinew; this surely is it. His heart. Or more appropriately; his heart in the Force.

All those years ago, Uncle Luke had sat him down on rock very like this one. He’d placed the crystal in Ben’s hand and told him this is the most important possession he could own as a Jedi. “Jedi don’t normally attach themselves or become dependent on other things or people. But this weapon is like an extension of yourself, a channel with which to use the Force for good. You must never lose it. It is the ONLY exception!”

The metal had been shiny silver then, perfect, with not a scratch on it. Now, it’s back and charred. The skin is split where wires had been threaded through. And there are two release ports on either side forming the cross guard. At first, he had considered attempting to make himself a new hilt. But he has no materials of his own here, and it would take up a lot to time they don’t have. Instead, he’ll have to make do with what he has. 

And he has always been partial to the design, to the feel. That’s why, even when he succumbed to the Dark Side, he still kept it, making only small alterations.

Ben had collected a few scraps of metal from Finn crate before they came out here. And now, he puts them to work. Narrowing his eyes in concentration, he uses the Force to manipulate the metal, stretching and heating it to his will. And when the outside shell is complete, he carefully drops his crystal back into its familiar groove.

Sealing it up, willing the bolts to sink back into place, Ben rises to his feet atop the rocks. The lightsaber feels good in his hand. He’d missed it- even though he’d only been back a short while without it. It feels somehow… right. Like all the pieces are finally falling into place. 

When he and the others had made a hasty plan and gone to rescue Rey, things had felt uncertain, as if they were only doomed to fail. Even after Rey had come back with them, they still hadn’t felt quite right; like he could feel what was coming. But this- this feels right! This is the first time he’s been confident- in himself- that this time he will succeed. 

He WILL get Rey back. And he will make things right! 

Feeling his heart beating steadily in his chest like a reminder; he extends his arm. I am alive- I am alive- I AM alive; it seems to say! His eyes fall on the saber in his hand. The sealed, black outer shell, smoothed of any gaps with the wires tucked back inside. The blunt ends of the cross guard, now blocked by a smooth, flat seal on each side. No more need for vents now.

Ben Solo presses the ignition switch. There’s a real smile on his face as its cast in the light of the restored blue beam. 

With a familiar woosh, the saber retracts again beneath his fingers. And holding his head up high for the first time since his return, he bounds down the pile of rocks and back across the forest floor to where Finn and Rose are waiting for him. 

Finn doesn’t say anything, but Ben sees him take notice of the new appearance of the lightsaber, of the new look on his face. He looks surprised- but not in a bad way. Maybe he can feel the change, just as Ben can…

“Ready?” Ben says, gazing down at the other man, who nods. And to Finn’s surprise, he extends a hand to help him up. “Good. Then let’s get going!” 

Time to get some answers! Time to get Rey back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking a lot since TROS came out that Ben should have gotten a chance to heal his lightsaber. Lightsabers had always sort of symbolized the soul so he should have gotten to heal it when he healed his own soul and came back to the light side. Though, at the same time, i'm torn because I really love the idea of his using his Grandpa's saber to defeat Palpatine… which he never got to do... so he never got to avenge his family like he was supposed to. So I guess it doesn't really matter which saber he used...  
> *sigh! I hate it here! 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Let me know if you're liking it so far and if you think I should continue. Also, who do you want/ think Finn to end up with??


	10. The Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re getting close. Ben hasn’t sensed anything yet, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other lifeforms somewhere nearby. It’s mostly by memory that he leads the way at a diagonal through the too skinny, gnarled, blacken trees. The lake where the Oracle resided is just up ahead, beyond a wall of thick mist. 
> 
> Ben doesn’t remember if he felt the Oracle’s presence before he reached the lake before. All he can remember is the heat of the planet and the fire from the Trooper’s flame-shooters; sweat dripping from his drenched hair and into his eyes. In a blind anger, he’d slashed and thrust his saber, cutting the cultists to pieces.

When he was young, he’s heard stories of Darth Vader, about the war against the Empire, about the Death Star. His parents had both been Rebellion Generals. His uncle was Luke Skywalker. Other people were always talking about it to them. When Leia would take Ben and Han to parties or social events and they’d be introduced to someone new, that was always the first subject of conversation. “Oh, Leia Organa! Like Princess Leia of Alderaan? Oh, yes… and sorry about what happened to your home world.” 

It was always the same. But Ben often wondered why neither his dad or Uncle Luke- and Mom especially didn’t like to talk about it. When he was very young, he used to beg to be told stories. So, on rare occasions, Luke would sit him down and tell him about when he’d blown up the Death Star, by using the Force. “And, you can do the same things. You’re even stronger with the Force than I was, and you’ll do even greater things.” He’d said. But after a while, Ben too, grew tired of hearing about the war and what great heroes his family had been. It only made him feel worse. 

Once, when he was a young man, training at Luke’s Jedi academy, he’d asked him how he managed to kill both Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine? The older man had looked sad; Ben didn’t know why at the time. He’d said that Vader had helped him kill the Emperor, but died because of it. “There was still good deep down inside him”, Luke had said, “He did the right thing, in the end…” 

But that part had always bothered Ben; how could someone as terrible as Darth Vader just suddenly change like that? 

And of course, this was all before he’d found out he was his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker…

As he’d been doing research about Vader, after he’d found out, he’d read about duel that had taken place between him and Obi-Wan Kenobi- Ben’s namesake- on Mustafar. And after Ben realized that Vader later built himself a palace there, Ben had become obsessed with visiting the place. 

Imagine his surprise when he’d landed for the first time to find it nothing like how the Sith texts had described. That had been when he’d gone in search of the Wayfinder, and it had been the last time he’d been here. 

Now, as Ben settles the Falcon down in the same clearing he’d landed before, he finds a kind of comfort in the straggly trees and brush that have begun breaking through the hardened lava of the planet’s surface. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere about the healing that occurred inside Anakin too. 

Finn is already strapping a large blaster to his back as Ben exits the cockpit. He already has everything he needs in his lightsaber, so he waits, a little awkwardly by the exit. He raises an eyebrow when Finn looks up. And Finn nods, signaling that he’s ready. 

This is already getting off to a weird start. It was awkward enough when they were in a group and Rey was there, but now that’s it’s just the two of them; Ben feels incredibly uncomfortable. He was wrong! He should have just told Finn no and gone on his own!

Their footsteps clanking down the ramp are the only sounds in the little clearing. It echoes through the air, through the sparse forest of trees surrounding them on every side and into the thin mist beyond- which seems to be covering the entire surface of this planet, due to its volcanic lower cores. 

“Doesn’t look like there’s anybody here.” Finn comments, gazing around. “You said this could be dangerous. Are there any inhabitants on this planet at all?”  
Ben scans the area as well. He has a vague memory of marching through this very place with a battalion of Stormtroopers when, out from behind the mist, they were attacked by large group of Vader cultists. 

“There aren’t any people native to the planet.” Ben begins, motioning for Finn to follow him through the tress. “But after the fall of the Empire and Darth Vader’s demise, Sith cultists gathered here to worship him and protect his castle, which was sacred to them. But, when I came here searching for the Wayfinder, they attacked us for intruding on sacred ground, and we killed them all.” 

It sounds weird saying all this out loud, saying the name Darth Vader aloud to someone else…

“So, there isn’t any danger”, Finn says. “They’re all dead?”

“Well, I killed the ones who were here. But that doesn’t mean more haven’t come since then. If it’s been a over a year now…” 

“Well, that’s really comforting!” Ben can hear Finn’s footsteps growing louder as he hurries to catch up with Ben’s quick strides. “Wait a minute! Darth Vader had a castle here?” Finn has caught up now and he looks over as Ben nods. “We’re talking about the same Darth Vader, right? The Sith Lord? The one who was with Emperor Palpatine?” 

With a sigh, Ben confirms, “Yes. My grandfather. We’re talking about the same person.”

A look of confusion passes over Finn’s face, but then he chuckles and shakes his head. “Oh right, he’s your grandfather. I almost forgot about that.” 

“Yeah… My mother would have liked everyone to forget about that.” 

Finn nods, as if in understanding. “I mean, I get it. It must have been really strange for her.”

“It was for all of us”, Ben agrees. What he doesn’t say, is how he’d grown to idolize and even worship Vader; keeping his old helmet his old chambers and pleading with it to save him from the turmoil inside himself. And, that he’s never come…

They’re getting close. Ben hasn’t sensed anything yet, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other lifeforms somewhere nearby. It’s mostly by memory that he leads the way at a diagonal through the too skinny, gnarled, blacken trees. The lake where the creature resided is just up ahead, beyond a wall of thick mist. 

Ben doesn’t remember if he felt the Oracle’s presence before he reached the lake before. All he can remember is the heat of the planet and the fire from the Trooper’s flame-shooters; sweat dripping from his drenched hair and into his eyes. In a blind anger, he’d slashed and thrust his saber, cutting the cultists to pieces. He remembers finally coming to a standstill, looking around to find the ground littered with corpses, realizing there was no one left to fight. He’d looked up and saw General Hux and General Pryde off at a safe distance, watching him. 

Hux… he thinks. That little bastard! He’d been just waiting to betray Kylo. But not in the way he’d expected! Hux had become a spy for the resistance! Ben isn’t sure what happened to him after that, but at least knows the General is dead. Good riddance! 

Now, glancing around, Ben sees that they’re on the right path. Beneath thin layers of greenery, he sees limbs and heat-dried bodies poking up across the ground. Suddenly, he comes to a stop in just enough time to avoid tripping over one of the corpses. Revolted, he stares down at it a beat too long, wondering; was this one I killed? He doesn’t examine close enough to find out.

As Finn goes by, he glances down at it too. “So, that’s what happened to them…” 

“Yup.” But Ben is already hurrying on. No time to linger on the things he can’t undo. He’ll have the rest of his life for that- assuming he lives that long. 

Ben still hasn’t sensed any presence when the lake comes into view. Surely, he would feel such a large and powerful creature! Something may be wrong… Walking carefully, hand on his lightsaber, he and his companion near the shore, where the land gradually slopes down into the softly rippling water. The surface is dark and cloudy and smells faintly of sulfur and another scent he can’t quiet place. He has no idea how deep it is, but when he glances along the bank, he can see that the water has gone down quite a bit since the last time he was here.

Come to think of it, the water seems murkier and an even darker red color, as if full of blood. Not wanting to risk touching it, Ben draws back, searching the surrounding treetops. Finn watches curiously, as Ben finds the right one, and begins scaling the trunk. It’s not quite scaling though, really. With his Force heightened abilities, he jumps from branch to branch, using the Force to steady him, until he reaches the top. 

Scooting out onto the very highest branch, Ben stands and looks out over the lake, realizing its now really more of a pond. From this height, he can see that the other end is less than a yard away. Yes, the water certainly has gone down. Squinting, he gazes down into the dark water. It’s so murky he can’t see the bottom, but as he continues to stare, a shape begins to take form just below the surface. 

Ben nearly loses his balance when he realizes what it is. The giant baby creature- the one the Oracle had been feeding off of. It’s symbiote. The large, almost pig-like creature is floating just under the surface of the water; dead. And the spidery Oracle is nowhere to be seen. For some reason, it has abandoned its symbiote, killing it in the process. 

Feeling sick to his stomach, Ben climbs back down the tree. He’s met by Finn’s questioning expression. Ben shakes his head. “The Oracle’s not here anymore.”

“So, where is it?” Finn exclaims, exasperated. 

“That is the question.”

Throwing up his hands, Finn sighs. “And you know how to find it?” 

Ben’s fists ball up instinctively. Biting his lip, he turns his back on Finn and begins scanning the area, reaching out with the Force. “No. But we have to try. I have to find it!” He picks a general direction, one that somewhat right with the Force, and begins heading that way. “It can’t have gone far. And it will have wanted to find some kind of cover.” 

They pace in silence for a while. Even their footsteps don’t make much noise, like they’re being muffled by the density of the air and fog. It feels like no one has ever walked in this place before, like they’re intruding in a place not meant for them. 

“Solo”, Finn’s voice startles him. He’d almost forgotten he was there. There’s a strange look on his face that Ben can’t quite place- a bit of determination maybe. Finn stares down at the ground where he’s walking for several moments. “I wanted to talk to you about something…” 

Oh great, Ben thinks. Here we go! This must be about Rey. There’s nothing else it could be. Ben has suspected Finn might have feelings for her, and the seriousness in his expression means he can only confront him about it. Ben braces himself, but it turns out he need not have worried. Because suddenly, Finn is blurting, “You know I’m Force Sensitive, right?”

Ben glances down to avoid tripping over another body, stomach churning. “So, I’ve heard.” 

“I’ve known for a while”, Finn explains. “But I didn’t say anything until recently, because I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t understand what that meant really- and still don’t, I guess. I certainly didn’t know how to control it. I just started feeling things, and eventually, those things turned out to be right.” He pauses to step over a large root sticking up from the ground. 

“I wanted to ask Rey to help me- to train me, but we were still at war and she was preoccupied with her own problems.” With a slight grin, he glances over at Ben. “Mainly you…” Ben snorts. 

“Anyway. After the war ended, I kept meaning to ask her, but every time she seemed distracted- you again.” Ben rolls his eyes. “And I never could quiet bring myself to do it. In fact, we’ve never even had a real conversation about it. And then, she went all Dark Side and I couldn’t ask her. I tried reading the Jedi texts she left behind, but without someone to explain them, I didn’t get much.”

“That’s how you knew how to bring me back”, Ben cuts in suddenly, “The Jedi texts.”

“Right. Otherwise I would’ve had no idea.” Scratching the back of his head, Finn lets out a long sigh. “I had the texts, but like I said, I needed someone real to explain things in detail. Not just the rules and rituals, but the foundations and the feelings… and even just like the hand gestures.” He reaches out with curled fingers, glaring down the length of his arm, concentration creasing his features. “You know like…” He thrusts out his arm again. “Like you and Rey always do.”

Ben can’t help but grin. He’s right; they do, do that. But looking at it from this angle, it does look a little silly. “You don’t actually have to do that.” He says, surprising himself. “The gestures.” He clarifies, when Finn frowns. “Everything happens in your head and your heart. You don’t have to use your body at all when using the Force. Even the Jedi mind trick…” He demonstrates, fluttering his fingers in the air. “…doesn’t require it.” 

“Oh, yeah. I’ve seen Rey do that.”

“Yeah.” Ben confirms. “None of us really need to do that at all. It’s just a way to center the energy. It helps to have a physical action to go along with the invisible one. Actually, the Force is basically like an invisible third hand.” He glances over to see Finn listening intently, and suddenly feels a little embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to off on a tangent about hand gestures. It’s not like Finn can really understand. “Just- just so you know…” He finishes, then his eyes return to the ground before him.

“Right.” Finn says after a moment. Excitement growing in his tone, he leans in closer to the other man. “That’s exactly what I mean. I need someone to tell me stuff like that, otherwise I’d have no idea!”

“Well, you’re all out of luck there.” Wiping the damp hair from his forehead, he turns his face toward the sky. Maybe it’s nothing, but he thinks he may feel something in the Force. “Everyone who could have taught you is either dead or working on the Dark Side.” 

“Well…” Finn’s voice has dropped significantly. “Everyone but you…” 

Ben freezes- actually freezes in place, as if someone had just paralyzed him with the Force. There’s a long, tense moment of silence, filled only by the two men’s heavy breathing. Very, very slowly, hands clenched into fists, he turns to face Finn. The younger man is a hairsbreadth from looking frightened. 

He should be.

Ben takes a deep breath. “What are you saying?” 

Meeting his gaze as steadily as he can, Finn raises his chin. “I’m saying, I need a teacher… I need you to show me how to use of the Force.”

Ben’s answer is immediate. “No.” Swinging back around, he doesn’t wait for Finn’s response, but continues marching in the direction of that feeling, walking even faster now. After a moment’s silence, he hears Finn hurrying to follow him. 

“Come on!” No. There’s no way! Ben is shaking his head, but Finn still persists. “I need this. Solo! Please, you’re the only one left.”

“Have you tried a Force Ghost?” He says flatly, never taking his eyes off the trees ahead.

“No. Of course not!” 

Speaking of Force Ghosts… It is strange that none of them have visited him since he returned. He doesn’t relish the idea of seeing his dead relatives, but he would have expected someone to have shown up to offer a couple words of advice by now. It’s not like he couldn’t use that right about now! Ben feels a twinge in his gut. Not even his mother has come. He’d never even gotten a chance to see her again before she died…

Ben hardens his jaw. His knuckles are beginning to hurt from how tightly he’s squeezing them. “Then you’re all out of luck.” 

“No, I’m not!” Finn exclaims, getting a little angry himself. “Because you’re here!”

Ben stops then. He rounds on Finn so sharply that the man almost trips over himself to keep from colliding with Ben’s wide chest. “You don’t want me to teach you.” He sees Finn begin to open his mouth to protest, but he cuts him off. “I’ve never done anything like that. I don’t know how!” He sees there’s still defiance in Finn’s eyes. “Kylo Ren. You remember him, right!?”

“I’m not likely to forget”, Finn says darkly. 

“Exactly! You don’t want that man teaching you. I could just as easily lead you to the Dark Side.”

Glowering, Finn shoves himself into Ben’s space. “But you said you’re not that person anymore, right? Because if you are, then I should be taking you into custody right now and bringing you back to Chandrila to be imprisoned and put on trial.” 

“Humph”, Ben snorts, turning back around. “Like you actually could…” He grumbles under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Ben shakes his head. “Trust me, you don’t want Ben Solo teaching you either, even if I have changed. I trained in the Dark for almost half my life. I could just as easily lead you to the Dark Side and you’d never know.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t do that.” How does he sound so confident? Finn doesn’t even really know him!

“Maybe, I’d do it unintentionally.” He says wryly. “I could teach you all the wrong things. And you could wind up hurting someone or yourself.”

Finn is beside him now, trying to catch his eye. “How stupid do you think I am?! You know what, I think I’ll take my chances.” When Ben scoffs, Finn rolls his eyes. “You learned from Luke Skywalker, the greatest Jedi of all time!”

“I wouldn’t say, of all time”, Ben mutters. 

“Who else could be a better teacher than you? No one in this universe- not even Rey knows as much about the Jedi and the Force as you do. You’re basically all that’s left of Luke Skywalker, and you’re not going to pass that on? You’re just going to let it die with you?!” 

“Well, I don’t intend on dying again that soon!”

“You know what I mean”, Finn groans. “You have so much knowledge, and you’re not even going to share it?”

Even with the steadfast belief that he’s in the right here and that he should never, ever become a teacher to anyone; Ben feels a bit of his confidence start to crumble. Finn has a point, but he also doesn’t know how miserably bad at this Ben would be, how afraid he is that he’d mess it all up and ruin any chance Finn has at becoming a strong Force-user. 

“I just can’t do it. Alright! And besides, I don’t have time. I have figure out how to fix this mess and get Rey back before she does something we’ll all regret!” 

“It doesn’t have to be hour-long formal lessons or anything like that.” Finn is completely exasperated now. “You can just teach me as we go. Like you did just a minute ago with the hand motions. I’ll be here with you anyway. Whenever you’re working on a problem, or training, or whatever; you can show me while you’re doing it. I’ll learn by watching you. Isn’t that the best way anyway?” 

Grinding his teeth, Ben makes a low sound in the back of his throat. Why is this guy making so much sense? As he struggles to come up with another argument, Finn barrels on.  
“I just want to help. Really help.” His voice is softer now, vulnerable- almost pleading- which makes Ben uncomfortable. “Like I can’t with a blaster or a ship. Rey was my best friend, and I’m also part of the reason why this happened to her. I should have been there for her…” His face is sober as Ben’s ever seen it. “But I’m going to be there for her now, even if she doesn’t want me to anymore! But I can’t do anything without your help.”

“It just feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. You know?” He turns a hopeful gaze on Ben. “Ever since I realized I have the Force, I’ve just been craving more. I just want more. I want to fight; I want do cool tricks. But most of all, I want to understand my connection to it and what it means for me. I’m tired to waiting around for what I want, and this is something I really truly want with everything I have” 

Damn it all! Ben feels his heart quavering in his chest. There’s a recognition there. He and this ex Stormtrooper; they have a lot more on common than either of them could have known. On the battlefield that day, Ben under his black mask, Finn under his trooper helmet; connecting across the carnage. He would have never believed they’d be standing here two years later, having this conversation. 

And yet, the Force works in mysterious ways… 

When he’d first started training to become a Jedi, he hadn’t felt this draw, this hunger to grow stronger in the Force. He had been too afraid, and the voices had been too loud in his head. But after his fall, when he’d become obsessed with the legacy of Darth Vader, he’d felt something like what Finn’s describing. He had never wanted anything more, than to be like his grandfather, to be that committed to the Darkness. “I will finish what you started.” That had been his only mission… until he met Rey and realized their powerful connection. 

But none of that means he’ll be a good teacher. It’s been so long since he’d been in Jedi training. He’s probably forgotten most of it anyway. 

Slowly, Ben comes to a halt. He turns to face Finn. “Ever since I came back- ever since I came back to the Light, really- all I’ve wanted is to make things right. I vowed that I’d do whatever I can to atone for the horrible mistakes I’ve made. And I intend to do that, until the day I die.” The hard shell of his expression and the tone in his voice collapses. 

“But I’m not perfect. I never will be. I try, but I’m not even sure if I’m even a good person. I’m not a Jedi again… I don’t know if I ever want to be. At least not the same type of Jedi that Luke was.” He shakes his head, bites his lip. “Rey’s right. The Jedi have made some terrible mistakes. Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, fell to the Dark because of their ignorance.” 

He takes a long deep breath. For a moment, he considers laying a hand on the other man’s shoulder, to try to show his sympathy. But he doesn’t. They’re not nearly that close yet. And now, probably never will be. 

“I just don’t think I can teach you what you want to learn.” Finn opens his mouth to protest, but Ben only sadly shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Finn. But I just can’t.” And without another word, he continues into what seems to be a never-ending forest. 

He wouldn’t blame Finn is he just turned around and went back to the Falcon, instead of following some grumpy, pathetic Force-user into the middle of nowhere. But moments later, Finn joins him, staring straight ahead with a stony expression. They walk in silence for the better part of an hour. The farther they go, the hotter and more humid it seems to become. Soon, Ben is peeling off his jacket and rolling up the sleeves of his dark grey, cotton shirt. Finn was only wearing a vest over his shirt, but he removes it too and slings it over his arm. 

That tingling feeling Ben had sensed in the Force is steadily growing stronger. And the closer they get, the more he begins to recognize it, bringing unpleasant memories of their previous meeting rushing to the forefront of his mind. 

Suddenly, Finn jerks to a stop, extending an arm to stop Ben too. Holding perfectly still, he cocks his head as if listening. Ben watches, intrigued. After several moments of this, Finn looks over at Ben. “I feel something.” He says softly. “Something in the Force. It’s powerful.” He pauses to listen again. “It’s like how I feel when I sense that Rey is nearby, or how I can sense you right now… Do you think that’s the Oracle?”

Unable to hide how impressed he is, Ben shoots him a look of surprise. “Really? You can feel that?”

“Well, I feel something.” He replies. 

“Huh…” Ben rubs his chin. Is it weird that for some reason he feels a hint of pride at the revelation? “You’re right. It is the Oracle. And we’re getting really close now.”  
After another moment’s consideration, Finn points a little off to the left. “This way?” 

“Yes. Exactly.” There’s still awe in his voice. “You ready?”

“Yup.” And Finn leads the way. 

As they continue, the ground begins to slant downward. There are less trees and the ground becomes firmer, more hardened lava poking through the scraggly brush. Ben keeps his hand on his lightsaber at all times. He doesn’t really think they’ll be a reason to use it, but the Oracle is vulnerable now and it may had enlisted some help to keep it safe. 

The two of them have just crested a slight ridge when they both stop in their tracks. 

About two yards away, at the bottom of the slope, is hardened lave field as far as the eyes can see. And sitting in the side of the hill across from them is the dark, yawning entrance to a cave. Its big! The opening is fifty or sixty feet high and about thirty feet across. With walls of rock as black as ash, the cave looks like it’s been here a very long time. Places where it’s weathered and cracked are visible on the outside edge. 

“Let me guess”, Finn says, starring up at the gaping open above them. “That’s where we’re going.” 

“I think it’s safe to assume that.” Ben replies. He glances over at Finn. “You still sure you still want to come with me? It’s not too late to turn around. Or you could wait outsid-.” 

“No.” Cutting him off sharply, Finn dons his leather vest again and pulls his blaster out of the holster. “I’m sure. I’ve definitely got to see what’s down there now!” 

With a nod, Ben pulls out his lightsaber. The familiar weight is reassuring as it is hasn’t been in a long time. He’d never have believed he’d be holding it again. Seeing the stable blue coming from the end instead of red as he ignites it, is still strange to him, but it feels right. 

And even though he feels trepidation and uncertainty starring into the shaft that only grows narrower as it descends into the earth; this feels right too. A step in the right direction, at least. 

And so, one step at a time, the unlikely pair descend into the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks very much for reading and for keeping up and leaving your comments! Honestly makes my day every time I get one. 
> 
> I'm starting to think this story might be longer than 22 chapters, but right now that's my guesstimate. You may have noticed it changed from the original 20 so it could do that again, depending. So keep an eye out if you care about that sort of thing.  
> Also come say hi on twitter if you like. I'm under the username Elise Eleven there too. :)


	11. The Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have returned…” The Oracles booming voice makes Ben’s skin crawl. “The last time we spoke, I was fettered to another lager being, which I depended on for survival.” Finally, he sees it. In the gloom, he makes out a lager pile of the carcasses nearly filling a black, round hole in the wall.  
> “But it seems that you too have been freed from the parasites that have long plagued your mind and your entire existence…”  
> “Come out!” Ben suddenly demands. He’s getting creeped out. This beast already knows everything about him- and probably about his future too- he at least wants the advantage of looking at its face. He’s been hearing voices without a physical manifestation he can face, for too long!

Unfortunately, neither Finn or Ben had the foresight to bring a torchlight with them because, of course, they had no idea they would need one. So now, the only light guiding their way down round tunnel is the pale blue of Ben’s lightsaber. 

It strangely reminds Finn on that time on Pasaana when they’d fallen through the sinking sand and into the tunnels below the surface, where the giant sand serpent had lived. That was the last time they’d all been together. Now, in a very different set of tunnels, it’s not Rey’s lightsaber lighting their way; it’s Ben Solo’s. 

The farther they advance down the tunnel, the more it narrows and the hotter it gets. Ben immediately regrets not dumping their jackets and bags outside the entrance, because it’s starting to get very uncomfortable. He knows that this tunnel was probably a channel for magma to flow to the surface, which means that, if they go far enough down, they’ll eventually find themselves at the source. And that is somewhere he definitely does not want to visit! 

The two walk along in silence. It’s not uncomfortable; there’s nothing to say. But Ben does feel the slightest bit guilty for having refused to teach Finn earlier. Ben wonders if he’s angry- but if he is, Ben can’t tell. 

It seems that there are these pockets- or larger, round caverns at random points along the tunnel. They pass through the first, a round room with seventy-foot-high ceilings and stalactites dripping dirty water onto the soft ground. The tunnel cut right through the center, continuing as a round hole on the other side of the room. The channel is much smaller on the other side, and for the first time, Ben begins to feel the first bit of claustrophobia begin to set in. Tall as he is; the roof is only about three feet higher than his head. 

By the soft glow of his lightsaber, Ben notices what looks like the second of these pocket caverns up ahead. But immediately he can sense this one is different. There’s a sort of bluish glow reflecting through the jagged opening and also, he can sense something stirring in the Force too. At first, he thinks this is where the Oracle must be. But as soon as he steps inside, he realizes what was really causing that feeling. 

The cavern, smaller than the last, is filled from floor to ceiling with Kyber Crystals. He and Finn both make an awed sound as Ben swings his saber around, causing the crystals to glitter in the light. The reflection of the blue beam seems to be reflecting off them, making them glow faintly. 

They seem to be growing naturally from the walls of the cavern, aided by the heat. Though most of them aren’t very big, the sheer amount of crystals poking out from the surface of the walls, makes the whole room sparkle. None of them are blue- like Ben’s, at least not yet. Kyber Crystals shaded from a hazy white to so white they’re nearly clear, surround them on all sides. 

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life”, Finn says, neck craned back to gaze at them as he slowly circles the cavern. 

“I don’t think I’d be lying to say I haven’t either.” Ben replies. Though usually when he thinks of beautiful Rey is the first thing to come to mind. 

He thinks of her now, sprawled out beneath him, naked and shining with silvery moonlight. The face she’d made when he told her he loved her; the tears in her eyes. The face she’d made when she came… He can still see it now, just as he can still feel the tightness of her muscles and the softness of her gasping his name against his skin…

“These are Kyber Crystals, right?” Finn’s voice jerks him back to reality, putting those filthy, beautiful images of Rey back in the back of his mind where they belong. Keep it together Solo, he thinks. And he’s actually glad for the darkness of underground so Finn can’t see the pink on his cheeks. 

“Yes, they’re Kyber.” Ben confirms, running his hand along the wall, feeling the alternating sharp points and smooth, glassy surface of the crystals against his palm.

Finn is on the opposite side, starring up at a particularly thick patch of crystals several feet above his head. “I didn’t know they grew randomly like this.” He says. His voice is soft and slow, like that of someone in a trance. “Did you get yours from a place like this?”

Scoffing a little, Ben holds his saber higher, trying to get a better look at the cave roof. All hurry or thought of how little time they have, seems to have faded away. He is transfixed… 

“No”, he replies, “My Uncle gave it to me. He picked it out.” After pausing to think a second, he says. “I never asked him where he got it. But he had all these old Jedi relics and stuff. He would go searching in old vaults and temples for things like that. He probably found it in there… or he just grew it himself.” Ben smirks. “But that’s not nearly as interesting.” 

“So, how do you know what color they’ll be?” Finn suddenly asks, frowning slightly. “…or would all these be white?”

“No. They’ll need to be put through a bonding ritual which will then reveal the owner’s color.” Ben says. “See, it’s about the owner- not the crystal. Every Force user has a unique color tied to their personality in the Force. Like, no matter how many times I got a new crystal and bonded with it- as long as I didn’t go back to the dark side or something- it will always come out blue.” 

That’s really enough explanation, and yet, Ben finds himself continuing. “A Force-user can still use a borrowed saber or a crystal that isn’t bonded to them- just like Rey used my grandfather’s blue saber for a while, but her color is actually yellow. But the control you have, and its loyalty, is much stronger when it’s a crystal that’s your own, that you bonded with.” 

“Hmmm…” Finn replies thoughtfully. 

With the mention of Rey, the urgency Ben had felt since the moment she left his side, returns. And that isn’t the only thing that brings him back to his senses. Its growing increasingly hotter the longer they stand here; to the point of being more than uncomfortable. There are patches where sweat has completely soaked though his clothes; on his back and chest, under his arms and elbows, and the place where his thighs press together. He reaches up to wipe the sheen of sweat from his forehead, and he notices Finn doing the same. 

It’s time to go. 

The next section of tunnel, again, is even narrower than before. The two men are forced to walk nearly shoulder to shoulder. And there are a few dips in the ceiling that Ben almost bangs his head on. Their breaths become heavy in the enclosed space; all that hot, stale air that probably hasn’t been to the surface in decades is nearly smothering. 

The wave of sweltering air hits them smack in the face before the next cave comes into sight. As soon as they turn the corner, they’re faced with a bright orange glow filling the opening and tunnel beyond. That’s no Kyber Crystal! Ben knows right away. Carefully, the men walk to the entrance and look inside. 

“Nope!” Finn is backing away as soon as he’s laid eyes on the fiery river below, pressing his back against the stone wall. “Nope! No way in hell am I even gonna try crossing that thing!” But Ben isn’t looking at him. He’s starring down at the river of lava flowing perpendicular through the open room. 

It appears that a tube carrying magma from the planet’s core has cut straight through the tunnel they’ve been following, resulting in an open pocket, similar to the others they’ve seen. Thankfully, the molten river doesn’t fill the cavern, but flows slowly- methodically through the center, leaving plenty of room on either side. And there a few flat-topped rocks jutting up through the lava that they could use as steppingstones. 

Ben glances at Finn, still pressed against the wall and starring open-mouthed at the river below. “I’m going in”, he says. 

“You’re what?! Are you crazy?” 

Ben shrugs. Maybe he is. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. You can head back for the surface and wait for me there.” 

“I….I-.” Finn’s gaze flickers form Ben to the lava and back again. He seems to be trying to make up his mind. Suddenly he straightens, up balling his hands into fists. “No, I’m coming!” The expression on his face doesn’t seem in agreement. “I’ve made it this far!”

Ben nods. He’s a little impressed. If he didn’t have the Force to rely on, he’s not sure he’d have the courage to do the same. 

Together, they climb down the rocky slope from the entrance to the small cavern. There’s only a thin strip of ground between them and the river now, and the heat is almost unbearable. Ben has long since taken off his jacket, but his shirt is still soaked through. 

“Ok”, He instructs Finn, “I’m going to go over first. I can use the Force, so I’ll probably make it over without any help. The river’s only about twenty feet wide.” Finn swallows and nods. “Then you’ll need to get as close to the edge as you can. I’m going to help lift you with the Force from the other side, but you’ll need to try to keep your balance. Jump from the bank to that rock sticking up over there. And then to the next one. Then you should be able to make it to the other side. I’ll be there to catch you.” He searches Finn’s face before asking, “Alright?” 

Taking a deep breath, Finn nods. “Alright.” 

Ben feels like his face is about to melt off, but he crosses to the edge anyway. Closing his eyes a moment, he gathers all his strength. Then with a deep breath, he leaps into the air, spinning once and landing with a heavy thud on the opposite bank. Rising from his crouch, he locks eyes with Finn across the lava. 

“Alright, your turn.” He calls. “Just be very careful.” Ben’s pretty confident that he’ll be able to catch Finn if he falls- he’s done more than that. But still, they both need to stay sharp. 

With bated breath and heart thudding in his ears, Ben stands as near to the lava as he can and watches Finn inch his way to the edge. He doesn’t look confident, which is probably not a good sign. Ben suddenly wishes they’d thought to bring a rope so that he could just swing across; but Finn is already coiling his muscles for the jump. Ben doesn’t even have time to take a deep breath before Finn is in the air, headed for the rock in the middle of the stream. 

Thankfully, Finn has good balance, because he lands on the very edge of the rock without falling backwards. Collecting himself, he then steps to the other side and begins to jump again. This is the shortest of the jumps, so he makes it without a misstep. Though Ben can see by the lines of concentration etched into his brow, that he’s barely holding it together. 

Now, for the final jump. This is, by far, the longest distance he’s had to cross. And it doesn’t help that the rock he’s standing on is at a sharp angle, so his feet keep slipping toward the edge. Finn locks eyes with Ben across the steam-filled air. His eyes scream, “help me!” But Ben can only nod encouragingly and beckon him on. 

Finn jumps with all his might. Time seems to slow. One moment, Finn’s high in the air, and the next he’s hurdling right at Ben. But he’s not going to make it, Ben realizes. He’ll miss by only a few feet, but that will be enough! 

Without thinking, Ben lurches forward and extends his hand over the lava. 

Finn opens his eyes to see that he’s holding Ben’s outstretched hand. And what he doesn’t immediately realize, is that he’s hovering just shy of the bank about a foot above the lava. Then he does notice; he panics- and his hold suddenly breaks! 

Ben has just enough time to yank him back only land before he can collapse into the fiery sludge.

Lying together in the dirt, breathing heavily, both men look at each other. That had been close. Too close! Glancing down, Finn realizes that the bottoms of his boots are smoking. His feet must have just grazed the lava for a split second. 

Climbing to his feet, he tests the soles of his melted boots and is encouraged to find he can still walk in them. He glances over and sees that Ben is still sprawled on the ground, giving him a strange look. “Well it’s a good thing you caught me”, he jokes, grinning. “I wasn’t really sure that you would.”

Ben’s lips part. He swallows. “I didn’t.” And Finn frowns. “I didn’t catch you”, Ben repeats. He accepts the hand Finn extends to help him up. “I caught your hand, but you kept yourself from touching the lava.” 

“Oh…” Licking his lips, he stares down at his still smoking boots. “I didn’t even realize…” 

“Sometimes you don’t have to.” He sounds a little bit in awe, which makes Finn uncomfortable. “This probably isn’t the first time you’ve used the Force without trying.” They exchange another long look. And Ben is the one to crack this time. 

Chuckling, they swipe the dirt from their clothes, and continue on down the next section of tunnel. It’s only a few yards down the narrowest section of the channel yet, when they finally reach the it. 

This is it. Ben knows even before they’ve stepped into the massive chamber, that this is their final destination. Not, by the fact that this is the largest one yet, or the pungent smell of carcasses littering the ground that immediately hits their nostrils; but by a familiar signature in the Force. 

The Oracle.

At first, they don’t even see it. Stepping into the narrow opening, the two men gaze around them in awe at the sheer size of the place. It’s massive. The ceiling, covered in dripping stalactites, must be a hundred feet above their heads. The floor is littered with rocks and bones, and rotting corpses of strange creatures Ben’s can’t put a name to. There’s a small pool in the corner where a steady stream of water flows down the wall from the roof above.

He doesn’t even realize it at first, because he has his saber lit, but there is a soft glow lighting the dim room. When Ben extinguishes his lightsaber, he can see that there’s a tiny crack in the roof, letting in just a sliver of Mustafar’s bland, milky light. 

“Where’s t-.” Finn starts to say but he’s cut off by a deep groaning sound that echoes through the cavern. Ben whips his head around, searching for the source, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone inside here beside the dead animals. He remembers the Oracle looking kind of like a spider- all spindly legs- and his heartrate peeks as he glances up at the walls and ceiling above; horrified that it might be sitting in a nest above their heads. 

But then he hears it again. Whether it’s groaning from pain or something else, Ben can’t tell. But its definitely not above them. 

“You have returned…” The Oracles booming voice makes Ben’s skin crawl. “The last time we spoke, I was fettered to another lager being, which I depended on for survival.” Ben’s still desperately searching for the source of the voice. But the room is too large; it could be hiding behind a boulders or one of cervices in the wall. 

Finally, he sees it. In the gloom, he makes out a lager pile of the carcasses nearly filling a black, round hole in the wall. Nudging Finn with an elbow, Ben slowly draws closer to the hole, hand on his saber. 

“But it seems that you too have been freed from the parasites that have long plagued your mind and your entire existence…” 

“Come out!” Ben suddenly demands. He’s getting creeped out. This beast already knows everything about him- and probably about his future too- he at least wants the advantage of looking at its face. He’s been hearing voices without a physical manifestation he can face, for too long! 

“I know you’re there. Come out so we can see you.” Standing shoulder to shoulder, he and Finn face the dark opening, and Ben raises his saber. 

He realizes he hasn’t really prepared Finn for this, when he feels him flinch beside him as the large, many-legged creature suddenly fills the opening. Its face- if you can call it a face- looks gaunt. And Ben is unsurprised to realize its much weaker than before. It moves excruciatingly slowly, and its legs seem to drag on the ground. 

It must be the separation from its symbiote, Ben thinks. 

“Yes”, the Oracle confirms, as if reading his thoughts. “Right now, I am weak from the sudden loss of my life-source but, like you, as I grow used to fending for myself and feed off the lava fleas that I lure here, I will become stronger than I ever was before.” 

Ben glances at the piles of dead animals all over the ground. So that’s what those are…

“So, you have returned to seek my help for the second time.” Its dark gaze seems to penetrate into the depths of Ben’s mind, making him squirm. He hasn’t been here five minutes, but he already hates it! 

He opens his mouth to shoot back some kind of snarky reply, but the Oracle’s tiny beady eyes are swiveling away from him and landing on Finn. “But this time you’ve brought another visitor…”

Finn shifts uncomfortably. Glancing at Ben for a moment, he raises his chin to look the Oracle in the eye. “I’m Finn.”

“I know.” The Oracle sounds exhausted. “From henceforth, you should just assume that I know every single thing about you and there is no need to be redundant.” That shuts him up pretty quickly. “Just as I know the name you were given when you were born, I also know what it is you seek.” Finn seems to perk up at that, though he still doesn’t say anything. “But I must warn you that you will not find answers here. You are still at the beginning of your journey and you have many difficult times ahead of you and many more questions yet to ask.” 

Finn seems to deflate like a balloon. “Well that’s encouraging”, he mutters under his breath so that just Ben can hear it. But Ben doesn’t react. 

“And Kylo Ren…” Ben’s gaze jerks up to where the Oracle is starring down at him. Anger flares in his chest at the mention of them name. “But not Kylo Ren any longer. Ben Solo now, correct?” Ben nods, fingers still clasped into fists. 

He doesn’t know why, but this thing is making him more pissed off than he’s been since he first laid eyes on Palpatine! 

“Well, it’s good to finally meet you, Ben Solo.” It says. “As you can see, I was correct about encountering your true self; though, in truth, I did not foresee how that situation would inevitably end.” A small smile slithers its way across the Oracle’s flat face. “Just as I almost did not recognize you as the other half of the prophesied Dyad. It would be futile to try to explain to you how long I have been waiting for the arrival of you and your other half. I admit, I was not certain it would be in my lifetime.” 

Ben’s ears perk up at that. The Dyad. “Wait, so you knew about the Dyad”, Ben exclaims, voice rising. “And you didn’t say anything? You didn’t think that was something important I needed to know!?” 

The Oracle opens its surprisingly large mouth- compared to its face- its body shuddering softly. And Ben realizes it’s silently laughing. “You did not ask. And I was not at liberty to divulge such information at that time.” It seems very pleased with itself. “There are some things we must discover on our own, young Solo.” 

“Yeah well, thanks for the help!” 

The Oracle narrows its eyes at him. It’s finally getting a little pissed itself. “Careful Solo. Being rude and childish is not the way to ask for more help.” 

Ben bites back the retorts on his tongue. He knows it’s going to be hard enough to get it to tell him the information he needs, so he stays quiet.

With a sigh that fills the whole chamber, the Oracle scoots over to a mound of the dead lava fleas, pushes it into tighter clump; then sinks down atop it, folding its legs underneath its body. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben sees Finn make a face. 

“So”, it says, once it’s situated, “how long have you been back?” 

“Only a few days.” Ben replies. 

“Long enough to assess the situation then.” It blinks those beady eyes. “I felt you die you know. Well, I felt you all die. Darth Sidious, then the girl, then you.” Ben glares at it. His death- and Rey’s- is the last thing he wants to be discussing right now. “So, imagine my surprise when I sensed you at the entrance of my cave.” 

“You didn’t know I was going to come back?” Ben asks, genuinely surprised. “But I thought you knew everything.”

The Oracle shakes its head. “I do not know everything, especially about you. At the time you came to me, I only knew that you would return to the persona of Ben Solo and that you would have a hand is Sidious’s downfall. Your future is clouded, and difficult to decern. I can only see bits and pieces now, but I am unable to make sense of any of it. There is something different about you, Solo; something important. There is a reason your future has been hidden from me.” 

Well that isn’t ominous at all… Ben takes a deep sigh. He exchanges a glance with Finn, who only shrugs. 

“And that is why I would ask you; why you have been returned to the realm of the living.” It says. “Why has the Force seen fit to let you return?” 

“Well, Finn and the others figured out a way to bring me-.” Ben’s explanation is cut off by the wheezing laughter of the Oracle. 

“Do not mock the Force, Boy!” It gurgles though laughter. “You are here because the Force deemed it so. And I want to know why! For what purpose?” 

Well, if he’s being honest, there can only be one purpose. It’s the same reason why Finn and Poe needed him to come back. 

“Well, that’s actually the reason I’m here; why I need your help. Rey. My-.” What? Girlfriend, Lover, my everything? “The other half of the Dyad. She’s in trouble. She’s been influenced by the Dark Side.” He explains. “She has plans to do something terrible. And I think I was brought back to stop her from doing it.”

“Ah, I see.” It says with a knowing look.

“Yeah.” Ben continues, “That’s what we need your help with. 

“And so, what is it that you require form me, if it is you that is charged with stopping her?”

“The problem is; I don’t know how.” Ben replies. “I need information. I need you to tell me what her big plan is- what is she going to do. Where is she? Where can we find her? I also need to know how I can help her get free from the Dark Side; how I can stop her without putting her in danger of getting hurt.” 

The cave is eerily quiet for a moment. The Oracle is just starring at him with an unreadable expression. It looks unimpressed and unconcerned. It makes Ben’s blood run cold. 

“My apologies, young Solo. But I’m afraid Miss Palpatine will not be escaping this situation unscathed…” 

The words hang heavy in the air. Ben wants to scream! What he needs right now is for the Oracle to be encouraging him that this can be done, not making this 10x harder! Gritting his teeth, he glares up at it. It deserves to have him scream in its face! But Ben still needs answers, so he holds his tongue. 

He lets the Oracle continue. “There is one question you have not asked. There is the What and the How. WHAT is young Rey’s plan? HOW can you stop her? But you have not yet asked the Why… WHY is this happening? WHY are you in this situation in the first place?” It looks smugly down its nose at Ben. “And that, perhaps, is the most important revelation of all.”

“You see, to answer that question, we must return to the day the Dyad came together to fight Darth Sidious. You had not arrived at the time when Rey first confronted her grandfather. Do you know what he said to her, what incentive he gave to try to win her over to his side?” 

Frowning, Ben thinks a moment. It’s all a daze in his mind. He just remembers the overwhelming need to get to Rey’s side, to protect her. But he could sense her feelings and, with the bond so strong, he did hear some of that Palpatine was saying. “He threatened to kill her friends.” He recalls. “He said they would all die unless she killed him…”

“Yes”, the Oracle confirms. “He told her to strike him down. But why? Why would he want such a thing?” It answers its own question. “He said, all the spirits of the Sith were inside him, and that when she struck him down, all those spirits- including himself- would go into her. She would become Empress Palpatine and he would rule through her.” 

“But she killed him by reflecting his power back at him. She had the Spirits of the dead Jedi behind her! Palpatine didn’t go into her! He’s gone. He’s dead. I know he is!” A new terror, worse than all the rest, begins to set it. That all this has been for nothing. That Palpatine is still here to torture them! 

“No, Sidious is dead. You are correct. The power of the Jedi and his own lightning being turned back upon him destroyed him once and for all.” The Oracle says, and Ben feels a weight immediately lift from his shoulders. 

“But there were other spirits inside him which did not die. While Sidious and Rey Palpatine were distracted, not all- but a few of those Sith spirits slipped into her unguarded mind.” Ben feels the weight returning. “They lay dormant for months inside, but when she was left alone with the loss of her Dyad weighing heavily on her, they began to whisper to her and influence her to do their bidding.” 

Spirits of the Sith! Inside Rey! Disbelief fills the place where anger had just been! How had he not realized? He had seen from the beginning that she wasn’t herself. But he should have realized that it must be more; he should’ve asked. Maybe she would have confided in him and he could’ve helped her sooner!

“So how do we get them out!” He demands. He’s tired of all this beating around the bush. He needs answers! 

“That, I do not know.” The Oracle replies, shaking its head. “I told you; my vision is clouded when it comes to you and the future of the Dyad.”

Ugh! Maybe this was a waste of time! He should’ve known he wouldn’t get real answers here! “Do you know what she’s planning then? What’s these Sith spirits’ goal?”

Narrowing its eyes, the Oracle leans in closer to them. “I believe she told you. She wants revenge. She wants to avenge everyone who has been wronged- in her mind- by the Force. She fears the Force, believing it is out to hurt her and you. And above all, she wants to protect herself from losing you again.”

“Right. She wants to destroy the Force.” He shakes his head, still confused. “But how do the Sith spirits fit into this? Why would they want to destroy the Force when it’s what gives them power?”

“They do not want her to destroy the Force, which you know as well as I; is not possible. But they want to cripple it until there is very little accessible power left. Then they will claim the remaining power all for themselves, insuring there will be no one able to stop them from ruling the Galaxy until the Force is able to heal itself. And that could take millennia.” 

For the first time, a sense of urgency crosses the Oracle’s face. “But your Rey has gone beyond what they’ve told her and taken things to another level. She will stop at nothing until the Force is weakened beyond repair. She is so powerful and determined that I fear she may be capable of doing the impossible.” 

“But how?”, Ben exclaims. He’s gripping his lightsaber so tight it must be imprinted on his hand. He takes several steps back and notices Finn shooting him a look. He’s been mostly quiet this whole time, watching with interest. Seeing Ben this angry… he must be getting flashbacks of Kylo Ren. Ben needs to reign it in. 

“How can she possibly do that?” he asks in a much softer tone.

“Her plan is deceptively simple actually… though disastrous.” The Oracle stands and scuttles forward, causing both Finn and Ben to jump backward. It extends one of its sharp, prong-like legs and begins marking in the sand of a little open area on the floor. 

“There are places in the Galaxy where the Force is tethered to our realm of reality. It is how is stays anchored and powerful in every star system from the Core Planets to the Outer Rim. That is how it is able to influence the lives of all living things. There used to be many places like this. Force-users would travel great distances to worship or meditate there where the power is strongest. As a result, temples and statues and symbols of power were erected in these spots. Such as the Altar of Morits, which was destroyed years ago.”

The point of its leg scratches several circles in the dirt, then connects them with a line that creates another larger circle. “But as time has gone on and Force-users have become scarce, the number of these sites has declined. There are only a few left now. No more than five; unless I am mistaken.” 

It begins marking an X over each of the circles. “Young Palpatine’s plan is to wipe out every single one of these points of power until there are none left. It will be difficult and will require a great deal of force to destroy them completely, but she has found a way to do it by searching the ancient Sith texts. She has only yet to find the remaining sites; but when she does, you will have only a matter of days to stop her.” 

“But how do we stop her?” Finn speaks for the first time since they’ve arrived. “Without hurting her”, he quickly adds. 

The Oracle seems to like him less than Ben, because it doesn’t even look at him when it speaks. “As to how you will keep her from completing her mission; I have no idea. As I have told you thrice now, my vision in association with the Dyad is undiscernible- as if a higher power is shielding you from my view. I do not know how will stop her, or if you even will. Nor”, it raises its leg to ward off more questions, “is it my job to make the plans. I can only tell you what I see.”

Ben nods. It seems they have reached the end of what the Oracle is willing to tell them. The rest will be up to him and anyone else who is foolish to want to help.

“Well, I guess we’d better get to it then.” He smirks up at the looming being, then gives a mock bow. “It’s been a pleasure, as always, Oracle.” Ben motions for Finn to follow and begins walking backwards towards the exit. “What was your name again… It was something weird I can’t remember…” 

The Oracle rolls its eyes- as best it can in those tiny, damp sockets. “I am called the Eye of Webbish Bog.”

“That’s it”, Ben says with a grin. Shooting Finn an amused look he spins round toward the dark opening to the tunnel. The waves of heat hit them full force in the face, bringing fresh sweat to their faces in seconds. 

They’re just about to disappear into the entrance when the Oracle’s stern voice cuts them off. “I must warn you, Solo.” Its voice is more serious than it has been yet. Ben doesn’t turn around, but a shiver traces its way down his spine. “Palpatine is not working alone. She has gathered many Sith cultists, similar to the ones that once roamed this planet’s surface. They will be working under her orders, but they may be inclined to shoot to kill… you will need to be careful.” 

Ben doesn’t reply and he doesn’t look back. Though Finn casts him a concerned glance, he pushes forward into the sweltering heat. But as the darkness swallows them, a voice can be heard echoing through the channel. “Good luck, young Skywalker. You shall need it…” 

As the pair enters the lava river cave, yet again, Ben can sense a thousand questions hanging on the tip of the other man’s tongue. But he’s too exhausted to talk things through with Finn yet. He hasn’t even begun to process it all himself. 

So, before Finn has a chance to speak, Ben turns to him and says, “I feel like I’m getting cooked alive! Let’s hurry up and get out of here as fast as we can!”  
Gasping and panting, the two men come bursting out from the mouth of the tunnel up on the surface, after running the rest of the way. 

Leaning hands on his knees, Ben bows his head and watches as beads of sweat drip off the ends of his dark hair and onto the scraggly grass. Meanwhile, Finn nearly tears of his shirt, leaning his head back to feel the cool air on his skin. 

Clipping his lightsaber to his belt, Ben eyes him as he starts stuffing his shirt, jacket, belt and blasters into his side bag. All fear of encountering any danger on the surface, seems to have disappeared. 

“Finn.” Ben stands suddenly. It had taken them very little time to run out of the underground, but he had spent all of it thinking. Finn turns to face him. He raises his eyebrows in response.

“Alright. I’m going to teach you.” He sighs.

“Really?!” A grin erupts on Finn’s face, but Ben holds out a finger in warning.

“Not because I think it’s a good idea. I don’t. And don’t blame me if something terrible happens and you accidently start shooting Sith lightning.” He’s trying to keep a serious face, but it’s hard because Finn is smiling so wide! “But I figure I’m gonna need all the help I can get. If those cultists working with Rey have even the smallest connection to the Force, we could be seriously outmatched!” 

“Alright!” Finn smacks his hand on his thigh. “Yeah, let’s go this!” 

“Yeah?” Ben asks, a little apprehensively. 

“Yeah!” And Ben can’t decide whether to be annoyed or embarrassed when Finn pats him roughly on the back. “We got this! I’ve already learned a lot, so this should work out perfectly!” 

Rolling his eyes and biting back a smirk, Ben gathers his own things; opting to go shirtless for the rest of the journey as well.

They’ve just crested the hill above the tunnel entrance when Finn grimaces. “I don’t have to call you ‘Master’ do I?” 

Ben nearly chokes on his own saliva. “No! Dear Maker!” He swears. “Please don’t ever do that!” 

“Ok, good! I was about to rethink those lessons there for a minute!”

Combing his hair back from his face, Ben groans into his hand. “I think I’m going to make that my one condition for agreeing to be your teacher. That you never, EVER call me ‘Master’!” 

“You got it, Master-! I mean MAN.” Ben’s guffaws and Finn slaps himself across the forehead. “I was going to say man! I swear I didn’t mean to call you that!” But Ben is laughing too hard to care. 

“Ok, Padawan.” 

Blushing, Finn pauses mid-laugh to frown. “What’s a- a… what is it? Pandawon?”

Up ahead is tree line of the forest they’d come through on their way here, and in the distance- just beyond the thick for, is the Falcon. Up on the small plateau, the wind is cool, despite the heat and humidity of the planet. The moment the breeze hits them, both men pause in their tracks to relish in it, feeling the sweat drying on their skin and in their hair. 

Ben thumps Finn on the back. He only realizes after he’s done it; it’s strange that he feels comfortable enough to do that. But they’ve been through an ordeal today, and there are surely more to come. Tomorrow they’ll need to make a plan. He’ll need to recruit the help of Poe, Rose, Chewie, as many as he can. This isn’t a war; not yet. But it still feels like they’re preparing for battle. 

But all that can wait until tomorrow. All Ben wants to do now is take a very long, very cold shower, eat a big plate of juicy meat, and go right to sleep! 

“I’ll explain it to you later.” Ben replies to Finn. “Don’t worry. We still have to cover all that. About the Jedi and why they failed, and why a lot of their teachings- like calling people Master- were wrong. But right now, I just want to get of this stinking, Rancor’s asshole of a planet!” 

“I’ve never agreed with you more, Solo.” Finn says. And Ben is struck with the feeling this just might work out after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks to everyone for reading! I had a lot of fun with this one so I hope you did too! I wasn't sure I would but I'm liking this Finn/Ben dynamic going on.
> 
> Please leave me a comment telling me your thoughts and what you predict might happen later on! I'm just gonna say this; i'm very excited!


	12. The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his dreams, she is bathed in sunshine. There is warm golden light on her hair as she runs through soft grass and shallow springs. And when she smiles, even a sun’s brilliant glory is put to shame.  
> There, in his dreams, she has never known sadness or loneliness. No time exists when they have not been together, and no time ever will. There, they have a family and home far away from all the cares in the Galaxy. Their children will never know fear or sadness or hunger. They will never know what it is to feel unloved by their parents and will never be sent away.  
> In his dreams, they have all the time in world.

Ben had slept better last night than he had in all the days he spent with the First Order, on his thin bed in that sparse room. He suspects hiking several miles underground and sweating out half his bodyweight in water might have something to do with it. 

After he and Finn had arrived at the camp last night, and been fed a very large helping of meat and wild beans, he’d fallen into bed and immediately passed out. Usually, when he sleeps so heavily, he doesn’t dream at all, at least that he can remember in the morning. But not last night. He supposes it’s hard to keep her out when she’s all he can think about. 

Back before Exegol, before he’d become Ben again, he dreamt of her all the time. It was impossible not to. Back then, they were usually about the future- their future together- in which they ruled on a dark throne. Those usually included some kind of sexual fantasy and would result to Kylo waking up with cum on his sheets or a painfully hard erection that soon resulted in cum on his sheets. 

Occasionally, he’d dream about a scenario in which Rey had taken his hand in Snoke’s throne room, but in this alternate reality, she had made him promise that they would leave the First Order behind and run away together. Because, as Ben had always known, if that was what she had demanded, in that moment, he would have done it. 

Those were lovely dreams, but ultimately sad. Because it was never to be. He couldn’t change how disastrously that moment had gone, the moment he lost her. Those dreams almost always ended in tears; Kylo waking with wet cheeks and a profound loneliness that stayed with him, like her phantom kiss, for the rest of the day. 

But now, things are different…

In his dreams, she is bathed in sunshine. There is warm golden light on her hair as she runs through soft grass and shallow springs. And when she smiles, even the sun’s brilliant glory is put to shame. 

There, in his dreams, she has never known sadness or loneliness. She was never the granddaughter of an evil tyrant, and she was never abandoned as a helpless child on Jakku. No time exists when they have not been together, and no time ever will. There, they have a family and home far away from all the cares in the Galaxy. Their children will never know fear or sadness or hunger. They will never know what it is to feel unloved by their parents and will never be sent away. 

In his dreams, they have all the time in world. 

And now, he knows what Rey’s kiss tastes like and he’s felt her delicate, strong hands buried in his hair. And unlike before, this dream does not end in loneliness or in tears; because- unlike his dreams of a different reality- his new dream can still come true. 

He can still find her again; it isn’t too late. And he will. 

With that thought lingering in his mind, Ben rises from his borrowed bed late that morning and takes his time showering and dressing. It doesn’t matter. There is nowhere else he needs to be. 

He’s eating breakfast at the fire pit with Finn, Rose, and Chewie when Poe approaches him and asks what the plan is. The answer is maddeningly simple! “Rey plans to destroy the few places where the Force is anchored to the Galaxy. We just have to get there before she does.”

Obviously, Poe is confused. So, Ben sits back and lets Finn fill them in of the events on Mustafar and in the Oracle’s cave. He’s still weary and still in that reflective headspace from his dream, and he’s not in the mood for storytelling. Finn seems eager enough to do it. 

Finn explains the Oracle’s words in detail, though Ben notices he emits the part about him not finding answers there and having a hard road ahead. Finn also emits the part where he’d asked- and Ben had agreed- to teach him. Ben raises a brow when he realizes, and they exchange a look, but neither says anything. 

Finn’s probably too embarrassed to admit it to his friends. But Ben understands. He would be embarrassed if he were teaching himself too!

“So, I guess all we really have to do is figure out where these places are located, right.” Poe says after Finn has thoroughly explained the situation. 

“Well, not necessarily.” Scraping the last bit of grits and honey from his plate, he sets it down on the bench beside him. “We also have to make sure we can face her- not fight her- when we get there. Like he said, we were told she’s recruited quite a few of these Sith cultists. I have no idea how many. But we need to have enough people to hold them back if they try to reach on of these power points.” He glances around at their small group within the circle. “That means we’re probably going to need a few more people.” 

Poe nods. “Well, there are some here. Not many know how to fight, but quite a few were with the Resistance before. I might be able to recruit them.” 

“And I have friends and contacts on Coruscant.” Rose says, rising from her seat. She hikes a knee up and rests her foot on the bench beside Ben. “I can call and ask Connix to round a few of them up.” 

Ben rubs his chin thoughtfully. “That sounds good. But only people you know you can trust. Remember, we won’t need an army- hopefully.” Pressing his lips into a thin line, he glances up and Rose and Poe. “Also, best not to bring anyone who would have any real reason to hate me… That could result in some very awkward situations.”

“Well, I mean, doesn’t everybody.” Rose says, and Ben is relieved to look up and see her smirking- but not unkindly. “You were the Supreme Leader of the First Order.” 

With a sigh, Ben shakes his head in mock defeat. “I mean, anyone who would have a very personal or less obvious reason to really hate me. Not just the general hate everyone already has.” He cocks a brown at Rose, but that doesn’t seem to satisfy her, so he says, “Just make sure they’re not going to try to kill me on sight.” 

“Got it!” Says Poe. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about getting too many people. I think it’ll be hard enough to get them to come fight a powerful Dark Side User and a bunch of Sith cultists!” 

“Just do what you can then, I guess.” Ben shrugs. “While you guys are working on that; Chewie, do you think you can rustle up some weapons for us to use?”

From the other end of Ben’s bench, Chewbacca nods exuberantly and growls accent. He says, he knows a place he can trade for some old blasters for cheap.

Smiling at his old friend, Ben turns back to the group. “I have a couple ideas of how we can figure out where these powerful Force places are. I have no idea if they will work though. As you know, I’ve been unable to connect to Rey though the Force for clues.” He scuffs his boot in the dirt. “But today, I think I’ll focus on training and meditating in the Force. Hopefully, that will clear my head so I can try to figure this out.” 

Ben watches as Poe- followed by his little ball droid, and Rose hurry off in different directions. For a moment he’s stuck with a strange emotion at how they’d listened to what he said and are doing what he asked, even though he’s done nothing to deserve their faith. He hopes to the Maker that he won’t disappoint them.

Patting him on the shoulder, Chewie gets up and ambles off, leaving just him and Finn alone. 

Again.

Awkward quiet fills the little hollow in the trees. Ben pretends not to notice Finn looking at him, and begins fiddling with his plate and spoon. “Here, let me take that for you…” Finn says, suddenly jumping to his feet. 

Ben hesitates, but Finn just holds out his hand. “I’m going there anyway.” He lifts his own plate in emphasis. “And besides, it’s probably still not a good idea for you to go in the mess hall.” 

Eyeing him a moment longer, Ben finally hands it over. It feels like Finn is going out of his way to be nice to him. They haven’t talked about the whole teaching situation since Ben had agreed to it yesterday. Maybe Finn was expecting him to say something. 

Or maybe this new dynamic between them is just going to take some getting used to. He’s become accustomed to being merely tolerated for the past few days being here. It’s been nearly twenty years since he’s had anyone close to a friend… He wonders if that’s what they are. He’s not sure he’d still be any good at it. 

He does his best to smile and say a heartfelt thank you, before watching Finn stride toward the mess hall, plates in hand. Then he turns away. 

And now, time for some alone time! 

Snatching up his lightsaber bag, Ben hurries off into the forest, back to that flat-topped rock where he’d healed his Kyber Crystal before. The perfect place for some fighting practice. 

Dropping his things and dark cotton outer tunic into the grass, he brandishes his lightsaber and admires the blade. Some fine craftmanship if- he does say so himself! With the little he’d had to work with and so little time, he’s managed to make a solid weapon, good as any Jedi’s. But since they’d encountered no one on Mustafar, he’d had no chance to test it out. 

Igniting the blade, he spins the saber in his hand, testing the weight. The last lightsaber he’d fought with was Grandfather’s. And that had been a week ago for him, and over a year ago for everyone else. But this is HIS lightsaber! And just as it always has, it responds to his touch, spinning quickly and flashing in an arc of blue.

Ben wonders for a moment, if he will need to try to change his fighting technique- now that he’s back on the Light Side. But he quickly banishes the thought! These movements: the back-handed swipe, powerful strokes that vibrate through the muscles of his shoulders, the way he holds the blade up to stare down the length of it. They come so easily to him and feel so right! His fighting style has become a part of him, and just as he’d used them on Exegol to defeat the Knights of Ren, he uses them now in tune with the Light. 

Running up the rock pile and then somersaulting off the other side, Ben holds nothing back as he races through the forest. He targets trees, but at the last moment, changes his trajectory so that he doesn’t mow them down. His body comes alive.

This- this is what he lives for! This is the perfect thing to set his thoughts aside and let them clear, while he lets the core of him become entuned with the Force. It’s the perfect thing to take his mind off their problems… and of course, off of Rey. 

…

A few people give Finn strange looks as he passes back through the dining hall from the kitchens.

They’ve been doing that a lot lately, ever since his new guest arrived and he and the others have been taking their meals at the fire pit. They probably think they’re going through a family crisis or something. Because to defuse suspicion, Poe had to tell the other leaders both Ben and Rey were his cousins, after Rey stole that ship.

Finn just prays they don’t think they’re up to something potentially nefarious. 

A couple familiar people wave at him as he exits the building. Technically he and Poe are the Commanders of this Colony. Though they haven’t been doing much leading lately, leaving everything up to their seconds. 

After saying hello to a few others, Finn makes his way to the headquarters office he shares with Poe. He’s about to enter the squat building made of unfinished wood, when he spots Poe strolling down the line of buildings and houses that line one side of the clearing. 

Well it’s not like Ben had given him anything to do; even when he’d had a job for everyone else. He might as well see what Poe is up to. 

Poe has only made it several more steps before he realizes he’s being followed. He slows down and waits until the perfect moment to suddenly turn on Finn with a, “Hey!” Finn actually jumps, looking guilty a moment, before he sees the grin spread across Poe’s face. 

“I was actually coming to find you”, he says after he’s managed to stop chuckling at Finn’s reaction. He places a hand on Finn’s shoulder as they continue to walk down the path worn into the grass by hundreds of feet tracking it each day. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I wanted to see if there was anyone else you think I should talk to about helping us out. I got a list of a few people, but I wanted to get your opinion, Commander.” Poe flashes that devilish half smile. 

Finn can’t help returning a grin of his own. “Thanks, Commander.” 

Maybe it’s the suns light softened by the clouds, or maybe it’s the fact that his hair is still slightly damp from the fresher; but Poe is looking especially handsome today. Distractingly so. Finn had noticed earlier at breakfast. But thankfully, Poe didn’t catch him starring. 

He’s suddenly reminded of his talk with Rose the other day. ‘Give Poe another chance’, she’d said. ‘Talk to him.’ Finn’s been avoiding this for so long now… but he’d had the courage to ask Ben Solo- his former enemy- to be his teacher. Maybe this is the right time after all. 

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something too.” He says, summoning all his courage. 

Poe’s brow creases in concern. His hand tightens around Finn’s shoulder. “Sure man, of course.” But there had been a flicker of something like uncertainty in Poe’s eyes. “Is everything alright?” 

They move out of the way, along the side of a building, in the shadow of the overhang in the back. Someone has bolted a swing, made of an old pilot’s seat and some thick wire, to one of the roof’s beams. It’s just big enough for two people to sit comfortably, and he and Poe climb in. 

“No, everything’s fine.” Finn says in answer. For several moments, they sit in comfortable silence, so close their legs are touching. Finn stares down at their legs, rocking them back and forth, eyes darting to Poe’s hand. He has the inexplicable urge to reach out and take it. 

“How have you been doing lately”, Finn asks, “with all this…?” He waves his hand in a general circular motion. 

Poe shrugs; sighs wryly. “You know me. Just taking it one day at a time.” 

The words are out of Finn’s mouth before he realizes. “Yeah, I do…” They exchange a long look, and Finn finds he doesn’t want to look away. But Poe begins fiddling with his hands in his lap. 

Pursing his lips, Finn tries not to stare at Poe’s hands too, as he says, “It’s just, with Solo being here and all. I know how you like to be in charge.” He smirks and Poe bumps his shoulder with his own, smiling himself. 

“Watch it, Buddy. You know, you’re the one actually getting along with him better than I expected.” Poe glances up. “I mean, with the history between you two, and your- you know- your back…” 

Ah yes. This is the first time Poe’s actually commented on the wound down his spine, though Finn’s caught him starring at the scar several times when he was shirtless. 

He considers trying to explain how he had come to understand Ben, how he can’t bring himself to hate him, even though he has every reason to. But he doubts it will come out sounding rational. It would probably just make Poe think he’s going crazy. 

Is he? Is he crazy for asking Solo to teach him? No, he’s doing what he has to in order to get what he wants. But would Poe understand that? Finn had thought he might tell Poe today about his arrangement with the former Supreme Leader, but now, he feels like that could be a mistake. Right now, he can’t afford for his best friend to have any reason to distrust him. So, Finn decides he’ll tell him later. 

Right now, it’s time for the even harder thing…

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t say I get along with him.” Finn replies. “I don’t necessarily trust him. But I guess I sort of get it. The First Order and all that. I understand where he’s coming from at least.” Poe nods, as if that’s enough explanation for him. Poe’s made mistakes of his own. He used to be a Spice runner. And while in the Resistance, he made decisions that got a lot of people killed. War is messy and complicated; and Poe knows that better than anybody. 

“I’m just glad he didn’t let you get yourself killed yesterday.” Poe bumps his shoulder again, lightening the mood. “The way you described that Oracle thing; it sounds like it could’ve eaten you whole.” He shudders. “And, I can’t believe you jumped over a river of LAVA!” Suddenly rounding on Finn, Poe gapes at him. 

“What?!”

“What”, he mocks. “That was stupid; that’s what!” Poe shakes his curls, smacking Finn across the arm. “You can’t use the Force like Solo. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” 

“Ehhh.” He shrugs like its no big deal. “Solo would’ve caught me.” He doesn’t say anything about how he’d actually caught himself. 

Scoffing, Poe leans his shoulder into Finn’s, and this time, doesn’t pull back. “Yeah, he’d better have!” He exclaims. “Or else, I would’ve had some choice words for him when he got back!” Finn rolls his eyes, but Poe is emphatic. “Nobody accidently kills my best friend and gets away with it!” 

“You wouldn’t beat him up or anything like that?”

“Finn”, and the intensity at which the other man’s dark eyes gaze into his and deadly seriousness that comes over his features, nearly makes him shiver. “You’re crazy if you think I wouldn’t do that and more to the man who let you die…” 

The air has grown thick and heavy between them within the space of a moment. Eyes locked on each other. Breaths a little too heavy in the few charged inches separating their faces. Finn realizes suddenly, without looking down, that Poe’s hand has crept to the skin above his knee, curling slightly into the material of his grey trousers. 

Finn doesn’t dare breathe. 

The memory hits him in a rush of vibrant emotions. The heat of the chase. The dark of the compartment where they were hiding. The feel of Poe’s body pressed so close to him. That moment had haunted him for the past months; the moment when they’d almost kissed. And here it is again. Finn is so afraid the spell will break again. 

Without meaning to, his eyes flicker to Poe’s smooth lips. He watches them part; inhale deeply. “Poe…” 

He’s going to do it! He’s just going to say it! That’s what Rose had told him, and she was right. Don’t be afraid to fight for what you love-!

Then the moment shatters. 

Poe looks away. Clearing his throat, he pulls his hand back and slips from the swing, feet hitting the dirt with a thud. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he turns back to face Finn. “Well, I’ve got a lot of work to do.” His eyes don’t quite meet Finn’s. “You heard the man. Apparently, I have to recruit people for a crazy mission to fight Sith cultists.” 

Remaining mute, Finn just stares at him. He can’t barely think- let alone speak. What had gone wrong?

“I’ll see you at dinner, ok?” Poe’s smile, again, stops just short of real. 

And after a long, painful silence, Finn forces a half smile and says, “Ok.” 

…

Angry and tired, Finn stalks back in the direction of his house. He’s so confused! How had this happened? He hadn’t even gotten to say and word and Poe was already rejecting him again! 

“Just like last time…” He mutters to himself, kicking at a wild shrub in his path. And if this is going to end like last time, why does he even bother? Had he been wrong? Had Poe never actually liked him like that, and he’d been imaging it all this time?! “Grrrr, stupid!” He growls. 

He needs to get back to his house so he can either throw some things at the wall or start crying into his pillow. Maybe both.

Finn’s small hut is just within in sight, when a blur of movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention. In the woods, through the dense foliage there’s a flash of bright, glowing blue and just the silhouette of someone bounding through the air. 

For just a moment, false joy rises up inside him. He’s reminded of how things were when they had their Resistance base stationed here. Often, he’d be walking by or returning home from a mission to glimpse Rey- sometimes with Leia watching- gliding over the ground like a gazelle, bright blue lightsaber in hand. 

That could be here now, and Finn would wave to her and watch as she ran past on her training course. If she wasn’t on the Dark Side now… 

All other emotions draining out of him, replacing themselves with weariness, Finn wanders over to where Ben Solo is feverishly training with his lightsaber against a tall pile of rocks he’d set up like a dummy. Slumping onto a log to watch, Finn tries his best to track Ben’s movements. It comes so easily to him, like a second nature. Finn doesn’t know how he could ever be that good at anything at all. 

“Hey.” Finn’s mind has wandered so far that he hasn’t realized Ben has stopped and is looking over at him. He’s got a strange expression on his face- almost shy? Like maybe he doesn’t like being watched. 

“Hey er- a, Solo…” Had he really almost called him Ben? That seems too personal, even for this tentative Instructor/Apprentice thing they’ve got going on. Finn shakes his head absently. 

“Is it alright if I watch you for a while and take notes? I don’t have anything else to do, so I might as well learn something.” He smirks when the corner of Ben’s lips twitch in an almost smile. “I mean, you are supposed to be teaching me, right?”

Narrowing his eyes, Ben waves him off. “Yeah, yeah.” He resumes his stance, blue beam humming in his hand. “Just remember I’m the teacher here… and I can cut this off anytime I want to. It’s no skin off my nose.” He doesn’t look at Finn, but he’s smiling. “So, you better be respectful.”

“Geeze!” Finn groans. “What are you; a sixty-year-old man? Ok, grandpa!”

Glaring at Finn out of the corner of his eye, Solo raises his saber then spins and slashes it backhanded, in an upward motion. “Just try to keep up. There’ll be a quiz after I’m done.” 

His tone is serious, but there’s a glint of mischief in his eye. Ben isn’t really like anyone Finn’s ever known- besides maybe Han Solo- but somehow, he thinks he might be starting to understand him. 

…

Dinner had been thin slices of ichy root and pea grain pressed into a thin strips and sliced, then wrapped in layer after layer of sweet winter greens and snow fruit. Each plate had been served with a little round cup in the middle full of thick, buttery gravy, that was to be dipped in or dribbled over the dish. It had been one of the best things Ben had even tasted in his life!

But despite the delicious meal and full belly, Ben returns to Finn’s house for the night feeling frustrated and discouraged. The others are still at the fire talking, but he doesn’t feel like forcing another awkward situation. They’re probably much happier now that he’s gone. 

After training in the woods, Finn had gone home for a shower before dinner, and Ben had decided to do something he’d been looking forward to, but also dreading doing. Sitting upon a rock, he’d closed his eyes and opened his mind to the Force. 

This was the first time he’d really gotten to do this since he’d returned to himself. Healing his Kyber Crystal had been a form of this, but this was true meditation- true oneness with the Force. It had been a long time since he’d done this in the Light Side, so it took some getting used to. 

But there was another objective he wanted to reach beside simple meditation- though he needed that badly. Once his mind was clear and his body was relaxed and humming with the power of the Force, he reached out, with his heart and with his voice, to the realm beyond; recalling the memories of his dead loved ones. “Please”, he’d whispered, “I don’t know what to do. I need help, guidance. Send someone to tell me what to do.” 

He waited patiently for several long minutes. But as the seconds slipped by, he could feel his optimism slipping away. “Mother”, he’d even dared to murmur. “Mom…?”

Nothing. Empty and silent as their tombs. Not even a reassuring feeling sent to comfort him and show that he’s not alone. Because apparently, as far as they’re concerned, he is. 

Grumbling to himself, Ben yanks off his shirt and trousers and collapses into the bed where he’d made love to Rey just nights ago. Ugh! He can’t even look at it without being reminded of her hungry kisses and her soft, slight body against his! 

Though he’d needed to wash those sheets, he’d convinced himself not to change the pillow cover. And he’s happy now he did; for he can smell her lingering scent as he buries his face in the fabric. Force! He misses her so much! Ben can only imagine the things they’d be doing to each other if she were here right now! 

He thinks about tasting the little, soft fruit between her legs, of burying his face there, so he can feel her bare thighs brushing the tips of his too-large ears. He hasn’t done anything like that before, but he knows he would make it good for her. 

And her taste! Maker, he hadn’t even gotten to taste her there before she left. 

Groaning, he rolls over onto his side and pulls the blankets up around his chin. He so desperately wants to be inside her again, to see her face or hear those little sounds of joy erupting from her lips as she finishes. 

He thinks that after, he might like her to hold him. He’s always been the one to do the holding. But suddenly, he’s gripped by the need to lay his head back against her breast as she curls her form in around his much larger one; for her to hold him to her with both an arm and a leg; and to never, never let go. 

Ben falls asleep to that lingering image. He feels safe in that imaginary place. And as his eyes flutter closed, he prays he’ll find that place in his dreams. 

…

But when he opens his eyes, what feels like moments later, he’s not dreaming. The light in the room has shifted subtly but it’s still dark outside. He can see the midnight air rustling the moonlit curtain in the window. Its probably only been a couple of hours since he fell asleep. 

Ben is about to close his eyes and relax back into the covers, when he realizes, with a shock, that he is not alone! 

Just inches from his body, on the bed with him, there’s the silhouette of a person outlined against moonslight seeping in through the window. He freezes, breath caught in his throat. But it’s not just a person. It’s a woman. And not just any woman…

Ben’s heart cries out. Its Rey! Has she come back to him, snuck back through camp and slipped into bed with him? No. He knows immediately by the feel, by the strange echo in his ears, that this is something else. 

Their Force connection: it’s opened up again without him realizing. He’d gone to sleep thinking of her and somehow, he must have subconsciously triggered it.

She lies on her side, back to him, wearing a thin, black nightgown, chest rising and falling softly. He can’t tell where she is or if she’d even in bed herself. Even without touching her, he can feel the heat emanating off her body. It feels so good after these lonely nights that he cases that warmth. 

Very gently, as so not to startle her awake, his fingertips trail across the sheets to her body. He wonders how she’ll react when she wakes; if she’ll be angry, if she’ll try to jerk away. But as he leans in close, he realizes that she’s not asleep at all. Her hazel eyes are open and vacant, starring at something he can’t see. Has she not yet realized he’s here? 

Rey’s black nightgown is silken beneath his fingertips as he wraps a hand around the curve of her waist. She doesn’t startle at his touch, only shifts slightly. Ben frowns. She is awake. And she did know he was here. 

Leaning in so that his chest is flush with her back, he tries to get a look at her face, but she seems intent on ignoring him. 

She didn’t want this Force connection. She didn’t want to see him at all…

It stings like a hot blade to the heart! She’d been the one to leave, but he’d still thought she’d be glad to see him, even for a few precious moments. Ben feels hot, angry tears spring to his eyes. Why, oh why, must things this happen to them?!

Leaning up on an elbow, he observes her expressionless face; the sallow skin and hollow cheeks, the dark circles under her eyes. She looks terrible! Worse that when he’d found her before. She seems to have been lying here motionless for hours. When was the last time she’d slept? 

Ben can feel his anger rising! His eyes roam down to where the low v-neck of her gown does little to hide the dark, angry-looking bruising of blue Force lightning all across her chest- even worse than before. He suddenly wants to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, demanding that she see reason!

But then, he notices there are tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes and spilling onto her fingers. They drip down the bridge of her nose and onto her quivering lips. And Ben’s heart crumbles.

Releasing a sound- half sob, half moan, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms all the way around her middle and gather her to his chest. He doesn’t care if she doesn’t want him here, if she doesn’t want to see him. She needs him! And he needs her, so badly! Burying his face in her hair and neck, he plants kisses to her skin there, breaths shuddering with tearless sobs. 

She smells so good and she feels so good, and after a moment of his caresses, Rey finally collapses back into his embrace. 

Rey’s eyes drift closed as he continues to nuzzle and kiss her neck, pushing fresh tears to track down her cheeks. They’ll never be close enough for him. Ben’s arm is curled around her so that his hand is tucked under her other side and he has a leg wraps around both of hers. Rey moans softly as his lips work their way toward her jaw, soothing the aching burns in her skin.

“Rey”, he says, suddenly lifting his head to look her in the face. His dark hangs down in a messy curtain around his forehead so that he can barely see the heartbreaking expression on her face as she gazes up at him. Her eyes are filled with love, but also so much pain…

Rey, you’re breaking my heart, Sweetheart….

“Rey”, he tries again. There are so many things he wants and needs to say; but she cuts him off with a finger to his lips. Ben frowns, is about to speak again, when she shakes her head, a tear spattering from her damp lashes. 

“Shhhh”, she whispers. She looks so broken, so desperately sad. “Please, don’t talk. If we talk, we’re going to fight.” Her voice breaks. “I won’t fight you ever again.”

Feeling tears in his own eyes, he shakes his head. “Rey…” He moans again. He wants to help her, find her, beg her to tell him where she is so that he can come take her away form there. He wants to ask if she’s safe- if she’s eating! If she misses him…

But all those words die on his lips when he sees the look in her eyes. She’s begging him not to.

Remember, she seems to say; remember, you promised that we wouldn’t fight! Rey’s fingers have left his mouth, but only to tail up his brow and brush strands of hair form his face. She then loops an arm around his neck and digs her fingers into the soft, thick waves at the nape of his neck. It feels so good he audibly groans.

“Please”, she breathes, “just kiss me.”

If that is her one request; he will honor it. If this is all he can do for her, to be with her and hold her; than that is what he will do. If tonight is all she has to give; he will take it gratefully. 

And so he kisses her, very gently but very firmly. She will not let him speak, but he does not need a voice to convince her of his love. He will use his lips in the only way she will allow. 

Ben tries to kiss her softly and slowly at first, to be gentle through their mingled tears and tired bodies. But Rey is just as hungry as he. Despite and between a few desperate sobs, she draws his mouth firm against hers over, and over, and over again until Ben can feel nothing else. 

It’s not enough. It will never be enough… Not until she is safe in his arms for real; not until they have spent a thousand nights lying here, doing just this, without interruption. But she has taken that away from them. 

The moment he thinks it, he is ashamed. He remembers the Oracles words, that the spirits of the Sith are still inside her now, influencing her every action. This isn’t her fault! It’s the fault of the Dark Side and the Light, and everyone who has ever used her for their own agenda without thinking of her first. He feels anger, at the reminder that those spirits are inside her, even now. But he only kisses her harder. 

They can’t have her! She is his! Destiny wills it so- and more importantly, he wills it so. He will not let them have her. Never! 

He finally pulls away, just slightly, when they are no longer able to breathe. As a thumb swipes tears and little strands of hair from her cheek, his worried eyes search hers. His finger traces the hollows of her face, the dark circles under her eyes. And he can’t help darting forward to sprinkle the bruising skin with kisses. 

Almost automatically, Rey’s eyes drift closed under his soft caresses. She doesn’t speak, but he can feel it emanating through their bond. “Feels so good”, she doesn’t say, “I missed this so much. Don’t stop…” 

And of course, he doesn’t. Instead, he curls up against the curve of her body and rests his head on the pillow beside her head, so he can keep his eyes on her face. He watches her lips curl into a soft smile, her face relaxing into his hand and breaths slowing, as she begins to drift off. Good, Ben thinks, let her sleep. But he won’t join her. He won’t waste this precious moment that they’re together. 

Who knows when the next one will be… 

Ben doesn’t even feel himself slipping away before he’s jerking awake again. Fear grips him. He’d drifted off to sleep without meaning to! 

Inhaling sharply, Ben rises up from the pillow. Fear grips him! Until he sees- and feels- that Rey is still there beside him. He nearly collapses back into the covers with relief. 

With a soft hum, Rey shifts in her sleep. As they both slept, their legs have become tangled and their bodies molded together. Now, her legs tighten, drawing his hips in even closer. Ben curses. Because even as he wills himself to remain calm, his senses only heighten, and he feels himself begin to harden inside his thin undershorts.

Just breathe deeply, he tells himself. He will not rouse Rey from her precious sleep for this! Even if he would do almost anything for her to touch him right now! 

‘Hold it together, Solo’; he scolds himself, ‘this is not the time’. Be he can hardly help it. He was a virgin up until a few nights ago, and he’s thought of almost nothing since. And he’s been inside her and came inside her and- Oh Force! If he doesn’t stop, he’s going to get too aroused to ignore. 

Again, Rey shifts. He notices that her breathing has grown more shallow, but her eyes are still closed. Sighing quietly, she finds his hand and draws it round to settle just under her chin, just brushing her lips. Their fingers twine together, and their hands fall against the exposed softness of her chest. Ben can feel the top her breast against his wrist; her nipple, though the fabric, on his lower arm. 

Biting his lip, he forces himself to remain composed. He’s can do this. He’s done it before. During their fight in Snoke’s throne room, he’d felt his cock twitch when she grabbed onto his hip for support; and when they’d touched hands in the hut on Ach-To, he’d had to pretend that it didn’t affect him until he was alone in his quarters and could finally touch himself with a hand that had touched her. 

Suddenly, he feels Rey inhale sharply. Alarmed, he glances over to see that she is smirking. Ben’s mouth falls open. But Rey’s grin only grows wider. She must be sensing his memories through their bond. ‘Can you see what I’m seeing?’ he forces through the connection. ‘Yes’, comes something like a reply, and then Rey cracks an eye open and grins at him. 

So, you are awake, Ben thinks. And as if in response, Rey’s hand finds its way back into his hair and pulls him in for another kiss.

Her other hand, that had been draped backwards across his hip as they slept, now tightens; taking a handful of ass and drawing him closer. That is all the incentive Ben needs. Kissing her thickly, he lets the hand that had been resting against her chest, slip down to cup her breast.

Oh, that’s nice. And what’s even nicer, is the way she beings to rock against him at his ministrations. Easily, her slip of a nightgown is tugged aside so that he can squeeze her hot against his palm. Her nipples are hard against it, like the razor end of a blade, and even harder when he pinches it between his finger and thumb.

As Rey’s soft, curved bum continues to rub against him, Ben’s erection begins to grow increasingly hard. Each time she shifts in time with his hand messaging her breast, she tightens her hold on his ass, making his cock twitch. 

But soon, Rey’s hand grows tired of simply gripping his cheek, and it slides its way down his hip to the place between their bodies. Ben’s hips jerk when she finally presses an open palm to his erection. Breaking away from their kiss, she licks her lips hungerly as she palms him through the thin layer of underwear. 

Unable to keep his lips unoccupied, Ben dips his head to kiss along the column of her throat. It’s all gasps and open mouth and teeth, but he becomes drunk with it and does not let up until Rey’s hand working itself inside the waistband of his undershorts, draws a groan from his swollen lips. 

Screw this! Screw all this! He thinks, gasping against her neck. He wants to touch her- everywhere, and he finally gives in. 

They have left all pretense- all control behind. With desperate hands, Ben yanks up the skirt of her gown tracing between her legs, to find her separated from him by only a scrap of lacy fabric. She is wet beneath that, and through it. And he groans when his fingers easily slip through her folds. 

He will not tease her this time. The terror that the bond might suddenly break and they will not get to finish, is too strong for that! They can always do it again after. But now, they must at least have this- as much as they can get. 

Growling with frustration, Rey yanks at his underwear. They’re in the way! She wraps her hand around his shaft and begins to work along the length, but her hand catches on the bunched material again. With fingers wet from her core, he reaches down and throws the offending things in to a far corner of his room. His sheets have long since been kicked away, so now it’s just skin against skin. 

Rey continues to stroke him and Ben fingers her gently. How had he forgotten how delicious her tight, slick heat felt? It was only days ago! But this is a fresh delight, dipping first one, and then two fingers deep inside her, while teasing her clit with his thumb. 

Even at the awkward angle, she pumps him firm and slow. Her fingers just barely reach at the base of him. Something that causes him a considerable bit of pride. He’s only human, after all. 

She seems to remember what he liked. Or she feels his pleasure through the bond. Because she’s absolutely driving him crazy! Her thumb circles the head, spreading precum, making it easier to stroke him. 

Ben hisses when she suddenly withdraws her hand, losing control already. But his heartrate speeds up when her fingers find his lips, tacky with his precum. At first, he’s confused, but then realizes, when she continues to prod his lips. Oh… 

Swallowing, Ben locks eyes with Rey, and hers are dark and hooded. Then he slowly lets two of her slim fingers slide inside his mouth. He is hit with the taste of himself on her skin, but then groans when she caresses his tongue and he closes his lips around her fingers to suck. Rey hums in satisfaction, but is soon withdrawing them again to pump his cock- harder this time. 

His whole body is shuddering in time with her hand. Every nerve on his skin is aflame. Just her- just the way she touches him has him falling to pieces. He never wants it to end. 

And being able to touch her in return. Her breasts; that beautiful soft cunt. He knows this will end, and soon. The way she’d writhing in his arms and moaning, the way her inner walls have begun to flutter around his fingers; she’s going to come soon. 

But it seems she does not want to do it alone. Removing her hand from his cock only long enough to hoist a leg up and tug off her scrap of underwear, she reaches between them and, together, they line him up at her entrance. Ben doesn’t hesitate, as he might on their first time. But he’s too far gone, now.

He and Rey both cry out as he enters her, gripping her hip perhaps too tightly. He’s going to come very soon. He knows it won’t take much, so he doesn’t waste any time slamming into her over and over again. 

There is no joy like being inside her; no feeling more right than this oneness! It is like living and dying all at once. To heavenly not to be a little sinful. He thrusts and thrusts, and Rey cries out, loud and harsh. And if he had not promised he would not speak, he would be whispering such dirty praise into her ear right now. 

You’re taking me so well, Sweetheart. This feels so good! You’re so good, so good for me! He settles for moaning unintelligibly into the crook of her neck, rubbing her clit in fast circles. Come with me, Love. Come with me, he almost says. 

And with a broken, beautiful cry from kiss-stained lips, she comes hard on his cock. Ben thrusts her all the way through it until she’s jerking, twitching, and weeping. Then, just barely having the presence of mind that she might not be prepared for her to come inside her this time, he pulls out and finishes on her ass and thighs, painting her with thick spend and marking her as his own. 

Rey all but collapses against him after he’s finished. Still panting, Ben buries his face in the back of her neck, in the sweaty hair there, breathing her in. Lazily, Rey’s hand comes between them once more. Her fingers dabble in the cum on her ass, then she reaches back to stroke his softening shaft and balls once.

He can barely keep his eyes open, but when she shifts just enough to face him, he finds her happy, sleepy gaze. She kisses him languidly, but too soon, the caress of sleep is even stronger.

Curling into Rey’s soft, warm body, Ben allows his head to fall against the pillow. Now that she’s slept and is freshly orgasmed, he should try to talk to her. He should ask if he can come to her. Has she reconsidered? But as his nose presses against her bare shoulder, and then his lips, all he says is, “I love you...” 

He convinces himself he will talk to her later, when they wake up again. He won’t ruin this perfect moment. She’ll be more responsive then. 

But he knows he was wrong the second he wakes up to bright sunlight and an empty bed. When he sits up, he finds that he’s alone again with just the scent of her on his body and a tiny, lacy pair of underwear tucked between his calves. 

Ben picks it up, sniffs it, then slips it inside his pillowcase for safekeeping. He has a feeling he’ll need it for the long nights ahead.

For some reason, he very much doubts they’ll have this luxury of the Force’s connection again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to everyone for reading along! I do hope you're enjoying.  
> Please leave me a comment with your thoughts and predictions. 
> 
> Also, I've written other Reylo fanfics so if you like this, consider checking those out! :)


	13. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your friend Rose offered to help.” Ben says carefully, taking a book himself and lifting the weathered cover. “But I told her we would be fine alone…” When he sees Finn frown, he hurries to clarify. “Since this is a class of sorts, I wasn’t sure you’d want her to be around… in case she doesn’t know about our- arrangement.  
> Still starring down at the text, tracing the stamp with his thumb, the other man nods. Ben watches him. “Do they?” He asks.  
> “Uhhh… no. They don’t.” He admits, finally meeting Ben’s gaze. He shrugs. “I guess it’s just hard of to explain. I don’t think they really get it.”

Finn is at his kitchen table starring down at his datapad when Ben bursts out into the main room. “We need to have a meeting.” He says, not stopping as he stomps to the front door. 

“We do?” Raising an eyebrow, Finn sets down the datapad. 

“Yes.” Ben doesn’t look at him. His face a stern mask. “Help me round everyone up.” 

Rolling his eyes, Finn gets to his feet and mumbles as he follows Ben out onto the front porch. “Just because you’re my master or whatever, doesn’t mean you don’t have to ask nicely.” But Ben pays no attention. Turning to face the ship hanger, he begins stalking off in that direction. 

“I’ll get Chewie. You get the others and meet me at Poe’s house.” He calls without looking over his shoulder. 

… 

Finding Finn, Rose, and his mom’s old droids gathered around the outside, Ben marches up the front steps with Chewbacca in tow. Finn watches him skeptically. Ben reaches the front door and promptly knocks three times. 

There’s some shuffling and then a curse from the other side, then a rather disheveled Poe Dameron appears, looking like he’d just woken up. “Uh, yes-.” Frowning, he eyes the group outside. 

Ben doesn’t bother waiting; he pushes past Dameron and into his small- but surprisingly clean, dining room/sitting room. Pursuing his lips, Poe steps out of the way just in time to avoid the rest of the group trooping in after their new “fearless leader”. 

Oh right, this is why he liked being in charge. 

“Well, come in, why don’t you.” His voice drips with sarcasm and he slams the door a little too roughly behind them. “This couldn’t have waited until breakfast time?”

“No, it couldn’t.” Ben situates himself standing at the head of the table and waits for everyone else to gather round.

“This better be important, Solo.” Rose says, crossing her arms. “Finn woke me up way earlier than I’m used to for this!” 

Ben had been woken far earlier than usual too. But he’d woken up to something far worse; Rey gone, and their bond irrevocably blocked once again. It had been just before sunrise, and though his body had been weary, his mind was alive with a million swirling thoughts. 

Seeing her again, feeling her pain; it reminded him just how urgent a situation this really is. He had seen the marks on her skin, the loneliness in her eyes, but he had sensed something else too. Her resolve. In every fiber of her being, in the way she could barely relax, even in his arms. She believes in her mission. And in true to character, in true Rey fashion, she will not rest until she sees this through. 

Leaning on the chair back, Ben takes a moment to collect his thoughts, then carefully he scans the circle, looking each person in the eye. “I’ve got a plan… or almost a plan.” When no one reacts, he hurriedly pushes forward. 

“Yesterday, I was thinking; if only I could talk to someone like my uncle Luke or his Jedi masters, they would be able to tell me where these places we need to protect are located.” He glances down at the table, finding a little discoloration there, and picking at it with a fingernail. “Well, yesterday afternoon, I tried to contact them… But, needless to say, no one answered.” 

From the other end of the table, Rose loudly sighs and 3PO mutters a dramatic, “Oh, my!” 

“Yes well, I didn’t really expect them to show up anyway. So, it looks like we’re on our own. BUT… I started thinking and realized her have something just as good.” Suddenly, he rounds on Finn, which startles him. “You still have those sacred texts, right? The ones you used to get me back?”

“Um yeah”, Finn replies, “But I’ve been over those things about a million times.”

“But you didn’t know what you were looking at, and I do.” He ignores Finn’s snort of indignation and speaks to the rest of the group. “So, Finn and I will be going over the Jedi texts for the rest of the day and hopefully we’ll be able to find something helpful.” 

Shifting his wight to the other hip and crossing his arms, Poe nods in agreement. “Sounds fine to me. But what do you need the rest of us for?” He motions to the others- lingering especially on C-3PO. “I spent most of yesterday talking up the other members from the Resistance and trying to get them to help us. So far, I have two in mind, maybe three- at the most.”

“And I have another call with Connix this afternoon.” Rose cuts in, shouldering her way in, to lean on a chair. “Including her, I found two people who I can guarantee probably won’t kill you on sight. They’ll be flying over as soon as they can.” 

“Probably”, Ben questions with a smirk. But Rose shrugs and shoots him a look that says; ‘hey, don’t push it.’ 

“Ok, great.” He says. “Four or five is better than nothing. I have a feeling we’ll need them, because these places are likely to be spread out between several different planets and we may need to split up.” Squeezing his fists, Ben makes himself look Poe right in the eyes. “So, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But as for what you can do today…” Taking a breath, he looks to Chewie- the one person he knows without a doubt, has his back no matter what. “I know all of you knew my mother… some more than others. But I was wondering if there could be some things she left behind when she-.” 

Force- damnit! This is why he does NOT talk about his family around other people! 

Why does he have to be so damn emotional!? 

“Anyway, it seems like she must have had some possessions when you all had a base here, and maybe there’s something with important information she left behind. She was trained by Luke and I know she trained Rey here. I suspect, she had materials of her own, aside from the Jedi texts.” He searches the circle, but finds every eye downcast. 

These people respected his mother- loved her even! Sometimes he forgets its not just he who heavily mourns her loss, but the whole Galaxy. 

“I was wondering if any of you knew of anything like that.” A long pause. “Or if I could just look through whatever things she left be-.” 

“I do…” Poe’s quiet voice cuts him off, and Ben turns very slowly to see Poe starring down at his hands, turned away from the group. He still doesn’t look up as he continues, “A datastick. She said it had files and things vital to the Resistance. She gave it to me just before we left to search for the Wayfinder.” He swallows, glances to Finn, and then back down. “She must have sensed that we’d never see each other again…” 

The room is quiet. The suns are rising, and as they peak over the horizon, honey-golden light spills in through the windows; reflecting off the walls and warming their skin. Rose leans over and places a comforting hand on Poe’s back.

They were close, Ben remembers. His mother had worked with Poe for many years before the war ended. He remembers that day he and his squad of stormtroopers had captured the pilot on Jakku and brought him onboard Starkiller Base. His men had strapped Poe to a chair in the interrogation chamber and tortured him for rebel secrets. When he refused to talk, that’s when Kylo was called in.

The memory is clear, like many from his days with the First Order- too clear for comfort. 

He’d rifled haphazardly through Dameron’s thoughts, with very little effort at all. He’d seen his mother there. The way she spoke so kindly to Poe, trusted him, even bantered with him like two old friends. 

Kylo had found the location of the map and the plans the Resistance had for finding Luke, but it was the fact that his mother cared for this man- in a way he believed she no longer did for him- that made him the most angry. So, he hadn’t held back. He’d pierced far deeper than was necessary, and he made it hurt. 

But in the end, he felt no better than before, because this pilot had his mother’s love and he didn’t.

Studying Poe now, he can tell he had loved her too. He’s never apologized to him, Ben realizes. He’d hurt him in more than one way that day. This man was a good friend to his mother when she needed it most. And Ben still has not had the decency to apologize to him after all this time. 

Pushing aside his uncertainties, he opens his mouth, about to speak- what, he doesn’t know. But then, Poe quickly lifts his gaze to the opposite wall. He swallows once, twice. “I’ll go get it for you now.” He says, and then hurries into one of the back rooms, without another word. 

After a long while of silence, Ben straightens up and clears his throat. “Well, that’s good then.” He exchanges a glance with Finn. “Hopefully, that will give us all the information we need. So, Finn and I will go through that too, as well as the texts. And the rest of you can go about whatever you were working on before.”

Poe returns then. Quickly crossing to Ben, handing him a small sliver datastick, and then returning to the other side of the table without a word. 

“Thank you”, Ben says quickly. “We’ll all meet back here for dinner and hopefully we’ll have some good news.” 

Everyone nods and Ben turns to Finn. “Finn, can you go grab the Jedi texts? And do you have a datapad I can use to access this datastick?” 

“Sure, I’ll run by my house and get it.” Shouldering by a massive Chewbacca on his way to the door, he calls. “Do you want me to bring everything back here?” 

Ben casts Poe a glance, then nods. “If Poe will let us use his house.” He looks back at Poe again, but he seems to busy arguing with 3PO and R2-D2 to notice. “You got all those weapons yet? Even the explosives”, he asks Chewie, play nudging the big Wookie in the arm. 

Chuckling, the Wookie confirms that, yes, he did get the weapons- and the explosives. But suddenly, Rose is pushing in on their conversation, crowding Chewie out of the way. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you and Finn look through those books. It might go faster with three of us, and I don’t have to meet with Connix until this afternoon.”

“Uhhh…” Glancing over to where Finn is just exiting the small house, Ben licks his lips. Rose seems to pick up on his hesitation and raising one eyebrow. “Actually, it’s ok.” He quickly reassures her. “Its more of a Force-user thing. It’ll be easier with people who know what they’re looking for.” 

“I see…” 

Great! Now, she looks pissed! Ben groans inwardly. He has a perfectly good reason, but he’s not sure if Finn would want him to tell her. 

“But thanks for offering. Really, we’ll manage just fine.” 

“Alright.” She shrugs and turns to leave. “I’ll be at the mechanics shop, working on my ship, if anybody needs me.” 

…

One by one, Ben takes each book from the stack and places them on the table before them. Five books; The Sacred Jedi Texts, all that remains of the old Jedi Order. There’s nothing else left, except perhaps hidden in places that are long forgotten… and also possibly, Ben himself. 

But really, you never know. There could be other Force-users somewhere out there too. It’s a big Galaxy, and they hadn’t known about the Sith Cultists until Rey found them. Who- or what else could still be waiting out there to be discovered?

Starring down at the texts, Ben settles back into his seat. “I think it’s about time for your first official lesson, don’t you?” He glances up at where Finn too, is starring at the books. 

“I guess so.” He takes a seat at the head on the table beside Ben. “I’m not gonna lie, I kinda wished I’d never have to look at these things again.” 

“Well, I’m not so thrilled about it myself. There’s a lot of stuff in here that I learned as a child, but I’ve probably forgotten by now. I guess it’ll be a learning experience for us both.” 

Finn sighs and scoops up the book nearest him and runs his hand across the smooth cover. The leather is a soft brown, but worn and cracked, with the seal of the Jedi Order pressed into the cover. 

“Your friend Rose offered to help.” Ben says carefully, taking a book himself and lifting the weathered cover. “But I told her we would be fine alone…” When he sees Finn frown, he hurries to clarify. “Since this is a class of sorts, I wasn’t sure you’d want her to be around… in case she doesn’t know about our- arrangement. 

Still starring down at the text, tracing the stamp with his thumb, the other man nods. Ben watches him. “Do they?” He asks. “Do they know about our arrangement?”

“Uhhh… no. They don’t.” He finally meets Ben’s gaze and shrugs. “I guess it’s just hard of to explain. I don’t think they really get it.” 

“I see. We’ll, I hope you do it soon, because while we’re on a mission, I’m going to need your help, and don’t have time to worry about angry friends or hurt feelings.” 

Finn doesn’t reply, and after a pause, he takes a deep breath. “Shall we begin then?” Not waiting for Finn’s nod, Ben peals back the first page of his book. It feels strange; the paper beneath his fingertips. He hasn’t actually written on or read from a physical copy in so very long. “We’ll start reading. If you find something that you don’t understand or think might be important, let me know and I’ll do my best to explain it. Remember, the goal is to find out about these power points, but it’s also a chance for you to learn as much as you can, while we’re not running around fighting cultists.”

“Got it”, Finn replies, and with a sigh, he resigns himself to the strange world of an ancient Jedi’s mind once again. 

It is even stranger for Ben. When he was an apprentice at Uncle Luke’s Jedi academy, he lived and breathed this stuff. Meditation techniques, the paths to enlightenment, defenses against the Dark Side. Kyber Crystals and their properties. The history of the Jedi and the names of all the most powerful masters to ever live. It’s all so different from the life he’s lead for the past ten years, but somehow still ingrained in him. 

As he reads on, he recognizes things; not from reading them himself, but from specific lessons Luke taught through the years. These were his guide books, Ben realizes. This was his source material when teaching. Sometimes word for word. 

And he can see evidence of Luke in these pages; sections carefully underlined in fresh black ink, or a note printed in the margins referencing other page numbers and other books. 

And he’s not the only one. There’s other handwriting that Ben doesn’t recognize. They weren’t nearly as neat, and the notes scrawled in the corners are much longer and more detailed. He wonders who these people were. Master Yoda? Master Qui-Gon? Jedi from even before their time? There’s no way to know, but it feels strange running his fingers over the writings of someone who could’ve been long dead before he was born. 

Much later, jerking Ben out of his own thoughts, Finn begins chuckling from the chair beside his. Ben’s brows knit together. “What”, he exclaims when Finn bursts out again. 

These books are the farthest things from entertaining! 

“I get it.” Grinning, he leans over so Ben can see the page his text is open to. “I finally get it!” He runs his finger along a chart drawn onto the page. “This is talking about the Jedi hierarchy system. Grand Master, Master on the Jedi Counsel, Master… all that. And then…” He taps the page lower down. “Padawan. You called me Padawan before, but I didn’t get it.”

“And that’s funny?” Ben asks, shooting him a skeptical look. “Well, kinda. Also, it’s a funny word. I mean, what kind of word is Padawan anyway?!”

Actually, he’s got a point. Ben smirks. “I have no idea. Maybe it was just another way to make their apprentices’ lives miserable.”

“I’d be miserable too, if I had to call some old guy master, wear really long robes, have a crazy-ass haircut, and answer to the name Padawan!” Ben chuckles at that. Thankfully, Luke had done away with a lot of that stuff when starting his school, but Ben had heard stories from when Anakin Skywalker was a young man… 

“You know, I never really paid attention to this part of the book before. It talks all about the rules and their lifestyle and the history of the Jedi Order, so I sort of skipped over it. But it’s actually kind of interesting.” 

“Yeah?” Setting aside his book, Ben crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, crossing his legs under the table. “Maybe we should go over some of that.” After Finn shrugs, he continues. “So, you know the difference between the Jedi and the Sith, right?” 

There is a very long pause, in which Finn slowly rolls his eyes up to glare at him with an, ‘are you serious’ expression. “How stupid do you think I am?”

“Ok, ok. Just making sure.” He holds up both hands in defense. “Anyway, there are more differences than one being on the Dark Side and the other being on the Light. The Jedi strived for peace. They tried to avoid strong emotions entirely; whether it be fear, hatred, anger, lust, passion, even intense feelings of love. While the Sith thrived on their emotions; it’s what drove them and gave them their power.” 

“But they have more similarities that you might think.” Ben taps Finn’s page with the graph. “Like their hierarchy system. Except the Sith never allowed there to be more than two other them in on place, because then they’d have to share their power.”

He stretches and picks up his book again, skimming the page with his finger as he continues talking. “Like Emperor Palpatine- Darth Sidious- only ever had one apprentice at one time. Darth Maul was his apprentice, but when he was killed, he had another man on hand to take his place. His name was Darth Tyranus- or Count Dooku. Then later, Sidious became interested in my grandfather. He wanted Anakin to be his apprentice instead, so he tricked him into killing Dooku. Then Anakin became Darth Vader.” 

Nodding, Finn rubs his chin thoughtfully. “This was during the time of the Galactic Republic, right?” 

“Yes. That was at the height of the Jedi Order. But unfortunately, they were too stupid so see what was happening, and allowed Darth Sidious to rise and destroy them. That’s something you need to understand, Finn, the Jedi are not people to be idolized. Many of their systems and rules are just as flawed as those of the Sith.” Suddenly he’s taking Finn’s book from him and flipping through the pages until he finds the one he needs. 

“But there is another type of Force-user, one that is neither Sith or Jedi.” He points to a symbol on the page, and Finn leans in to see. “The Gray Jedi- or the Prime Jedi. It was a theory the Jedi came up with for what the idea Force-user could be like, under the right conditions. They work somewhere in the middle of the Light and Dark and draw from both for their power. They’d be a peacemaker, like the Jedi, but not nearly as strict or confined to laws as they were.”

“This Gray Jedi was supposed to be the form that the Jedi eventually evolved into over time. But some Masters didn’t agree with those ideals and most of them time, the Jedi could never agree on anything, so the Gray Jedi Order still has yet to be officially formed.” 

Taking the book, Finn studies the few paragraphs written about Gray Jedi. Even though it’s one of the shortest sections, it has more hand-written notes in the margins than any other place in any of the texts. The page is practically full of them, so much so, that there isn’t an empty space open on the whole page.

“You know”, Ben says after a while of the two of them trying to read the small print of all those notes. “Luke was probably the closest thing to a Grey Jedi there’s been in a long time. He didn’t follow a lot of the old unnecessary Jedi rules, but he also never used the Dark Side. I guess that means that’s kind of what I am now… and Rey too. We’re probably closer to Grey Jedi than real actual Jedi.” 

“Seems like that’s a good thing”, Finn replies, “if that’s the ideal Jedi.” He traces the symbol of the Prime Jedi again. “Rey is using both the Light and Dark Sides now?”

“Yes, and that’s fine if you maintain balance. But you have to be in a certain state of mind to do that. You have to be able to control yourself and your hold on both sides, otherwise you’re in danger of being pulled too far into the Dark. She has not trained herself to be able to do that.”

“But you don’t use the Dark Side at all?” Ben shakes his head. 

“But it still it seems a better fit. You don’t act like any of the Jedi described in this book.” Smirking a little, Finn casts Ben a sideways glance. “The regular Jedi weren’t allowed to be in love or kiss or have sex, or anything. So, that definitely rules you both out.” 

“Yes, well…” Ben resists the urge to throw his hands up and cover his face. Fully embarrassed, his cheeks heating.

Ugh! Yes, that was all true, but he didn’t want to talk about it with Finn, of all people!

“Oh, come on”, Finn quips, “Its not like we didn’t all notice the way you two were together.” His grin grows when he notices Ben squirming. His is face only getting redder. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. We’re all adults here.” 

Ben huffs and then goes back to starring down at his book, but he isn’t really reading. As he strokes the uneven edges, his mind drifts far away.

“I saw Rey last night”, he suddenly says, before he can talk himself out of it. Finn stills, then raises his head. 

“What do you mean? How?!” 

Ben shakes his head, sighs. He doesn’t even know why he’s telling him this. Its not actually important. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be alone in this feeling anymore.

“Force connection.” He says. “I woke up in the middle of the night and there she was.” 

“What did she say?” Finn asks carefully, speaking in a measure tone.

“She didn’t say anything. She didn’t let me. She said if we talked, then we were going to fight, and that we promised we wouldn’t fight anymore.”

Setting his open book on the table, Finn turns in his chair to face Ben. “So, what happened?”

Well, he’s certainly not going to tell him what they actually did. Finn can know that they’re sleeping together, but he sure as hell isn’t about to tell him about it! “We just fell asleep together. And then when I woke up, she was gone…” 

The silence hangs heavy between them. For a while, they just sit there, quietly starring at nothing. It’s clear Finn suspects there’s more to it, and he surely has more questions; but he doesn’t press.

After a while, Finn clears his throat. “Sorry man. I know that’s gotta be rough.” 

“I think is rough for all of us right now…”

“Yeah, but- but still. This whole thing sucks.” 

It really, really does. And he really does appreciate those words from Finn, no matter how awkward they might be. And it’s weird; he wouldn’t have anticipated it before, but he’s suddenly grateful that he has another Force-sensitive here with him, to go through all these books, and to share in this burden. 

…

Its late in the afternoon and the shadows are growing long outside the window. The deep, hazy evening light streaming through the windowpane is warm and relaxing, lulling both men into an almost dreamlike state. 

They haven’t moved from their chairs since early in the morning, not even to go to lunch. But blessedly, Rose took pity on them and brought them a plate of sandwiches and sugar rolls, which they devoured in record time! They’ve finally read through almost all the books, and as just as Finn picks up the very last one, Ben closes his own. 

“I think, while you finish that one, I’ll go ahead and look through my mother’s datastick.” He says, stretching his legs out, pushing his chair back from the table with a noisy squeak. 

“Wait, are you kidding? You’re just going to leave me here to read this whole book by myself!” Finn exclaims.

“Well, we’re not finding anything useful in these old texts. Looks like those files might be our last hope. I’d better get started!” Grinning to himself, Ben stands and leaves a grumbling Finn behind at the kitchen table. 

That’s one of the props of being the teacher, I guess. 

Dropping onto the small sofa in the corner of the seating area, he props his feet up on the other arm and unlocks Finn’s datapad. After struggling with inserting it into the port, a new window pops up on the screen, filled with folders arranged neatly in alphabetical order. 

Of course they are, he thinks with a smirk. His mother was nothing if not organized and thorough. 

Right away, he spots files labeled RESISTANCE, REBELLION, SENATE BUISNESS, and OFFICIAL PROJECTS. Directly below those, he finds a single file without a folder, simply named POE. He’s already tapping on it before he has a chance to second guess himself. 

“My Dear Poe”, the letter begins, “I pray that you are successful; not just in this mission to find the Wayfinder and stop the Emperor, but in every day for the rest of your life. Your losses. Your loves. You are a good man. So, take some damn time off, General! You deserve it! And Poe, I know there’s not much time left before…”

Ben can’t bare to read any further. Not that he isn’t interested in what could be his mother’s last written words, but he absolutely will not pry into her personal thoughts. They aren’t meant for him. 

Squeezing his hands into fists, and forcing himself to swallow back the lump beginning in his throat, he clicks out of that file. There are a lot of folders on this drive. Many are labeled with code names like, PROJECT CRIMSON DAWN, that he has no clue what they could be. Lower down, there’s a file called PERSONAL, so he clicks on it. 

Inside are even more folders. LETTERS, HOLO TRANSMISSIONS, FAMILY HISTORY, ALDERAAN… Alderaan? This must be very personal stuff, indeed, maybe even diaries of her own thoughts and experiences. He suddenly feels uncertain about digging into all this, like he’s betraying her trust in some way. 

But no, he tells himself; she surely doesn’t care about things like this anymore. She would want him to find any information that could help save Rey. 

Then why doesn’t she come when I call? His mind echoes back at him, mocking him. But he quickly brushes the thought away. 

Having no idea where to start, Ben clicks on the LETTERS folder. There are even more folders in here! Geeze, how big is this datastick?! He scans the list. LETTERS FROM HAN. LETTERS FROM LANDO, LETTERS FROM CHEWIE, LETTERS FROM AMELIN, LETTERS FROM RANSOLM… LETTERS FROM BEN. 

Ben’s finger quivers as he taps on the folder and files pop up in order by date. The first is dated back when he was seven years old. When he opens it, he sees only a few paragraphs, written in a style suspiciously like 3PO’s. 

“Dear Mom and Dad, C-3PO said I could just send you a Holo, but I wanted to write you a letter. C-3PO is helping me write it. You said your trip would only last for a month but…” Ben doesn’t remember writing this, but he remembers that time in his life. It must have been when Han and Leia were gone for an extended amount of time on one of their many “work trips”. 

Going back to main file, he sees the next letter is dated just before he left for Luke’s academy, and the next is from a few weeks after he was gone. Ben doesn’t open it. He doesn’t open any more, though he does scroll through looking at the dates. Turns out, he’d written to his mother over the years a lot more than he remembers. And she’d always written him back, even if was a month or so late.

He wonders what became of all those letters from a mother to her son during the most important years of his life. They must be long gone, destroyed in the fire that burned away whatever was left of that time in his life. 

The last letter is dated two months before the night it all went to hell. He does remember that one. It had been brief and cold, through Ben had wanted so badly to break down and beg her for help. His final letter had received no reply… and he never wrote her again.

Ben clicks only once on the folder that contains letters from his father, and only to see just how many there are. If Ben’s folder had been full, Han’s is twice that size. It’s dizzying; all those thousands of words, all that’s left of his dead father. Though, each is probably not very long. Han always was a man of few words.

Continuing to scroll through, he comes upon a LETTERS FROM LUKE folder. This is where any word about the Force and the power points this is where it would be. But he’s still hesitant to open even one of the dozens of letters. 

This would be just as invasive as reading one from Han, and he doesn’t want to have to read about Luke’s worries and disappointments with Ben as he trained at the Jedi school. Maybe there’s still somewhere else he can look. 

Ben sighs, trying to relieve some of the tension building in his chest. Its uncomfortable- so say the least- seeing all of his mother’s things. It only brings back memories, some uncomfortable and some fond, but they have all been tainted by what he’d done all those years ago. Ben is the one who tore their family apart- weather they blame him or not- and that’s something he knows, without a doubt, that he will never forgive himself for. 

And just when he thinks he’ll be able to hold himself together, he reaches the bottom of the page and reaches a folder marked, simply, BEN. Pausing, he’s still a long moment, starring down at the button on the screen, dread rising in his chest. 

Suddenly, he wishes he’d waited until he was alone to open this thing. Eyes flickering to Finn across the room, whose still got his nose buried in the sacred texts, Ben takes a very deep breath, steels himself, and opens the folder. 

There are just are just three items inside. A folder entitled MEMORIES. A text document. And a holo video. 

These must be it, he realizes- his mother’s final message to him. Maybe she hoped he’d survive and return to find them someday after she passed. Maybe she hoped Poe would give it to him- if he didn’t have him put on trial as a war criminal first. 

He should open it. 

He should read it. These her LAST words for him; he’d never gotten a chance to see her again, but at least he has this. But his finger just hovers over the screen, frozen in terror. What if she wrote this one day, in anger? What if she was just trying to get her own anger and frustration out on the page where no one was ever meant to see? 

No. 

He’s not going to open it. Not here, with Finn just feet away, to see him cry. Not now. With everything else that’s on his mind, he doesn’t need this too. And let’s face it- he’s not ready!

But someday. Someday… 

Exiting out of the files he has open, he returns to the main folder to search it more carefully. There has to be a place she kept information relating to her own Force training. It doesn’t seem like something to be in the RESISTANCE folder or her personal one either. 

So, where in the STARS, is it!! 

Wait! There! What was that? Scrolling back up, he finds the folder that had caught his attention. Its called, READING MATERIALS (FROM LUKE). Oh, finally! This could be what he’s looking for! 

There are files that appear to be excerpts from books and materials downloaded from the holonet. And almost all of them are full of citations from Luke. At first, Ben’s afraid their just copies of the Jedi texts, but as soon as he opens one, he knows these are something different. 

Sitting up on the sofa and leaning over the datapad, he earnestly begins skimming the pages of text; searching to key words relating to the source of the Force’s power. The minutes drag by and his heart beats unsteadily in his chest, but he just keeps on searching. 

When he cries out, it startles Finn nearly out of his chair. “Ah-ha!” Ben cries, jumping to his feet and stabbing his finger at the at the datapad screen. “Gotcha!” 

“What?!” Finn exclaims, regaining his balance and excitedly scrambling from his chair. “Did you find something?!” 

“I think so!” Plopping back into the sofa, he begins carefully reading over that section again to make sure. 

Finn joins him on the cushion, asking, “Well, what is it?”

“They’re called, ‘The Incarnate Sources of the Force’, Ben tells him. And they’re the most important and well-kept secrets in the history of the Jedi. Sometimes they manifest as objects that contain immeasurable power. Sometimes, they’re weapons; and sometimes, they’re physical portals to other realms of within the Force. 

But no matter what they are, they must be protected at all cost. 

Long ago, all Force-users knew about these places and used them for their own benefit. But when the Sith began searching them out and destroying them, they had to be protected. After that, only a few select Jedi per generation were told of- and made guardians over- the Sources. 

In the pages on the pad, there is a list of all known Incarnate Sources. And beside one of his notes, Luke has taken and marked out all the Sources that no longer exist. Ben’s finger travels down the names as he shows Finn. They see that there were once over a dozen, but now most of them have been crossed out. Beside each one, Luke as written, “Destroyed by Sith” or “Unknown”. 

Near the very bottom of the list, there are only four not marked out. Each one is listed with a strange name, but with no planet of origin or indication how to get there.

Only four left… How, in the stars has it gotten so low?! 

Ben reads each name out carefully, doing his best with the pronunciation. He glances at Finn, who’s starring hard at the list. “Well, at least that’s something.” He says.

“Yes, but they don’t give the location. How will we know where to look?” Finn frowns and taps the name at the very bottom of the list. “Recalmentarium… Where have I heard that word before…?”

Ben cocks his head, face scrunching. “You’re heard that before? That can’t be a coincidence.”

“No, it can’t.” Jumping up from his seat, Finn begins pacing the length of the cramped room. “But I swear, I’ve heard it before! And recently, too…” While he paces, Ben begins carefully reading the notes Luke left on the subject. They’re mostly about the power held inside the objects and what it would take to destroy one. But then he sees a comment that catches his attention. 

“Like the Altar of Mortis, a Life Source that was destroyed just years before the rise of the Galactic Empire, most Life Sources are located inside temples, to protect them from outside elements.” He mumbles it aloud as he reads. “They are never located near or inside cities, which was done intentionally, and are usually out in the middle of nowhere, on remote planets with a small population.” 

“Temples, temples, temple, temple”, Finn begins murmuring as his pace accelerates; causing Ben to raise his head and frown at him. 

Finn doesn’t notice his glaring, so Ben raises his voice, saying, “What!” 

Then Finn freezes. “Temple!” He cries, and Ben hurries to cover his ear. Finn is suddenly diving at the table and rummaging through the stack of books. “There was- there was a list of all these temples. I think that was one of them…” Ben rises and is at his side a moment later. With bated breath he waits, as Finn flips through in record time. 

“Here!” Finn exclaims. He taps the page, thrusting the book at Ben. “Recalmentarium!” His tone is full of satisfaction. “And see, that’s why I remembered it. That’s where we spotted Rey and her followers before, when we first realized she went Dark! It says it’s located in the north of the planet Gennquu.”

“But that means, Rey must have already found it, and probably destroyed it!” Ben runs and hand down his face as Finn nods reluctantly. “That only leaves three, then…”

Finn takes the book back and scans the list again. “But, look! They’re all here too- well except the one called ‘Gate of Wisperous”. Taking both the Datapad and the book, and setting them side by side on the table, Finn takes out a holo-porjector and begins typing in the words as he reads them. 

1\. The Recalmentarium. North of the planet Gennquu. Destoryed by Rey, three months ago.

2\. The Eye of Oopen. South of the planet Desraith Opus. 

3\. The Mosenthen Diamond. North of the planet Feji. 

4\. Gate of Whisperous. Location unknown. 

“Looks like the only power Source not listed here, is this Gate of Whisperous”, Finn says, bending over the text book. 

Joining him, Ben searches too. “Does Luke say anything about it in his notes?” When Finn shakes his head, Ben closes the book and sets it aside. The two men stare up at the Holo-projection together in silence. “Well, that’s certainly better than what we started with.” A sense of optimism has begun to grow in his chest, and with it, a rising determination.

This, they can work with. They can finally start doing something! He cracks a smile.

“Well done, my young Padawan!” Ben says, smile growing even wider with the other man’s grimace. “What do you say, we go get the others?”

…

Once the entire crew- it’s crazy that’s what Ben’s come to think of them as- is all gathered around the table, including all three droids, Ben turns on the Holo-projector. And three projections pop up, glowing bright in the evening light, in the air above their heads. 

“Alright, everyone. We’ve got a plan!” He can’t keep the excitement from his voice, and he finds that he doesn’t even want to. “A real plan, this time.”

Pointing to the projection in the middle, he says, “This is the list of these Incarnate Sources of the Force. We have the location for two of the three that are left. The Eye of Oopen. In the South of the planet Desraith Opus, and The Mosenthen Diamond. In the North of the planet Feji.” 

He points to the other two holos respectively, which project the map of the Star System where each is located. “What we plan to do is send three teams out tomorrow to the different planets. We’ll need each team to find the Source, make sure it’s still intact, and then secure it.” Ben looks to Rose. “You said you have two of your friends joining us?”

“That’s right. Kaydel Connix and her husband Beaumont Kin. They should be arriving tomorrow.” She reports in a clipped tone. 

“And you’ve recruited three of your friends?” Ben asks Poe. 

Nodding, Poe places his hands on his hips. “Yup. I just talked to them and they said they’re all ready to leave when we are.”

“Great”, Ben replies. “So, Poe will lead a team of his three friends to the planet Desraith.” He glances at Poe for confirmation, and receives a nod in return. “And Rose will take her two friends to secure the Source on Feji.” Again, he checks to see if this is alright, and Rose nods in reply.” 

“But where will you and Finn be”, Rose asks. 

Finn and Ben exchange a glance, and Finn reaches forward and presses another button on the projector. A third map pops up above the list of names. “There’s no way of knowing when Rey will come looking for a Source, or which one is first. So, as long as they’re still intact, we need a way to protect both at once.”

“So…” Ben cuts in. “Finn, Chewie, and I will be leaving at the same time you two are, to stay on the planet of Osggia. Which is located exactly the same distance from both planets where you’ll be going. We’re both Force-users, so we need to be able to get to either place as soon as one of you radios in that Rey is attacking. This way, we can make sure both temples are guarded, and help can arrive as soon as you need it.” 

There’s quiet around the circle as everyone takes in the new plan. Finally, Poe speaks up. “And what about the third place? The Eye of… Oopen? How do we know it’s safe?”

“We don’t.” Ben replies. “But while Finn and I are on Osggia, we’ll still be searching for it. And if we find it, the three of us will fly over there to protect it. Then we’ll have all our bases covered and Rey won’t be able to get even one of them!”

Taking a deep, satisfied breath, Ben take turns locking eyes with everyone around the table. “Does that sound like a plan, then?” He tries not to hold his breath. He knows Rose, Finn, and Poe have every reason to distrust him, and could easily say no, leaving him screwed! 

As he waits, he notices the three of them having a silent conversation with their eyes. 

Then finally, Rose raises her chin and looks Ben right in the eye. “We’ll follow your lead, Solo.” 

…

That night he goes to sleep alone. And in the morning, he wakes up alone again. 

No Force Connection. Of course not. He had a feeling Rey would never allow that to happen again, and he was right. 

Fishing the pair of underwear from his pillow, Ben buries his nose in their silky softness and breathes in deeply. They smell so achingly of her. Oh, he thinks, shutting his eyelids tight, forcing away a few persistent tears; what he wouldn’t do to be in her arms right now. 

No matter, he thinks, crumpling them in a clenched fist. He will be soon enough… 

They promised they wouldn’t fight, so he won’t fight her… But he never said anything about stopping her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooh! Not gunna lie guys, I had the roughest time cranking this one out. It was full of a lot of important stuff, so it had to be done. Sorry it wasn't the most exciting. That's all coming very soon though, I promise! 
> 
> Honestly, thank you guys so much for reading along! It's tiresome when it comes to slow chapters like this, so your comments are always so encouraging. Anyway, hope you're having a good day/night and staying safe. I'm going to go collapse into bed right now!


	14. The Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I almost don’t want to bring this up”, Finn says suddenly, while Ben’s in mid-swing, “but, doesn’t this remind you of something?”  
> “Well, I was trying not to…” He shoots Finn a look, then stabs his pole into the dirt. “But yes, I do.” Of course, he does. Sometimes it’s hard not be reminded of that night on Starkiller Base, when they’d dueled in the snow.  
> They’ve avoided talking about anything Kylo Ren related since that first day, so this is the first it’s come up.

“One last crate for you, Chewie”, Ben calls clomping the rest of the way up and setting the box at the top of the ramp. After a growl of acknowledgement from deep inside the ship, Ben turns to survey the clearing. 

It’s a cool morning. Not even fully light yet, the sky is a dusky purple and dotted with little puffy clouds. A soft but nippy breeze flows through from the north, smelling of earth and last night’s rain. 

Ben had instructed everyone to meet outside the ship hanger right after breakfast; packed and ready to go. But he’d woken early from a fitful night, unable to sleep anymore, so he’d gone out to help Chewie load the Falcon with all the supplies they’ll need on their journey. 

This is going to work, he tells himself. I has to! Otherwise the Galaxy could possibly come to an end, and if he gets these people killed for no reason, it will entirely his fault. And he can’t take any more blood on his conscience. 

The breakfast gong sounds and Ben climbs back inside the ship to have a premade breakfast with Chewie, since he still hasn’t worked up the nerve to visit the breakfast hall even once since he’s been here. They eat in comfortable silence, and suddenly Ben is transported back to his childhood; when he was very young and he used to sneak on board when Han were leaving on a mission. So, when he was discovered, the Wookie would be left behind to babysit. 

Afterward, Ben cleans up the plates while Chewbacca finishes rearranging the cargo, Then they go outside to wait for the others. 

They don’t have long to wait. After a few minutes, Rose appears from her small passenger ship that’s been parked nearby. She waves as she strolls across the lawn to meet two people who are just coming back from breakfast. Ben doesn’t recognize them, but Chewie does, and he gives call and a friendly wave. 

As the group approaches, Ben shifts uncomfortably in the tall grass. Apparently these two were part of the resistance, and so they probably know exactly who he is and what he’s done. They come to halt a yard away, eyeing him warily, and Ben gets the impression they are just as enthusiastic to meet him as he is them. 

Slowly, the young woman approaches. She’s around the same height as rose. She has blonde hair in braids across the top of her head a soft round face, in a way that kind of resembles Leia when she was younger. This strange girl would seem like a very nice person, if she weren’t starring daggers at his face. 

Swallowing, Ben waits for her to speak. The woman levels her chin at him. “I’m Kaydel Ko Connix. You must be…”

“Ben Solo”, he hurries to fill the uncomfortable silence, so she won’t have the chance to call him Kylo Ren. “It’s very nice to meet you. I’m glad you could make it.” 

“Hmmm…” She’s still looks about as unenthusiastic as he’s ever seen anyone before. “Yeah, I know who you are. Rose tells me you’ve changed… but I figure on deciding that for myself.”

Slowly, Ben nods. “Of course. I respect that.” 

Suddenly, the small woman is crowding into his space and poking her finger into his face. Alarmed, he tries not to flinch under her withering gaze. “I knew General Leia. I served under her my entire time with the Resistance. She was a good leader and a great friend, and I trusted her with my life.” Something in Ben’s gut twists, but he remains stone-faced, waiting for her to finish. 

“She always held out hope for you. And I- I always thought she wrong.” Kaydel’s face softens just the tiniest bit. “Looks like I was the one who was wrong.” Dropping her hand, she steps back. “Rey was my friend too and I want to see her safely returned. So, until proven otherwise, I will follow your leadership on this one.” 

Relaxing her shoulders, Kaydel extends a hand and says, “Just don’t make me regret it.” And with a small smile and a nod, Ben takes it and gives it a firm shake. 

“Oh, and this is my husband Beaumont…” Kaydel drags him away from where he’s deep in conversation with Rose. The blond man gives Ben a once-over before nodding in greeting. 

“Solo, is it?” He asks. He doesn’t look at all impressed. 

“Yes”, Ben says, smiling as friendly as he can manage. “Thank you for agreeing to come.” 

…

With a final huff, Finn drops the crate of all the stuff he’s taking to the new planet on the ground beside the Millennium Falcon. He searches the clearing for everyone else, and is just the tiniest bit disappointed when Poe isn’t anywhere in sight.

Calm down, he tells himself. You’ll have plenty of time to talk to Poe when this is all over. 

“Hey, Chewie”, he shouts, “You got room for this?” Grumbling something about having to do all the work, the Wookie sidles over and picks up the crate, carrying it back inside the ship. Finn had packed everything he thought he might need, so the box is heavy and makes Chewbacca stumble. 

Who knows how long they will have to spend on a foreign planet they know almost nothing about. Finn sighs. Just what he needs; a few weeks bonding time with a three-ton Wookie and the former Supreme Leader of the Galaxy! 

He’s still starring off into the distance, mind far away, when suddenly a pair of hands are grabbing onto him from behind! 

“Ah!” Jerking out of the stranger’s grasp, he whirls around to find Poe standing there a hand over his mouth, trying to contain hide a huge grin. “Damnit, Poe!” He cries, bringing his hand to his chest to calm his racing heart. “Were you trying to give me a heart attack!?”

“Sorry, man.” Poe is grinning from ear to ear, but suddenly doubles over in uproarious laughter when he sees the look of indignation on his friend’s face. “I just- I just couldn’t resist!” 

“Ah, screw you!” Finn grumbles. He folds his arms across, putting on his best mad face, and waits for Poe to stop giggling. When he does, he flashes his most brilliant, apologetic smile- one that could make even a Hutt’s heart melt. Turning with Finn to watch the other’s preparation, Poe places a hand on his back, casually resting it there as if it isn’t sending jolts of electricity through every place on Finn’s skin it’s touching. 

Poe sighs and then says, “You ready for all this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Finn replies with a shrug. But that’s not entirely truthful. Because now that they’re all separating and traveling to strange planets, things have suddenly become real. One of them- any of them could die tomorrow. He has dealt with this before, during his time with the Resistance, he was trained for this type of thing since he was a child. But that still doesn’t mean he’s any less worried about it. 

That’s just the reality of war. You have to just force yourself into that mindset or you’ll never survive. Looks like he’ll have to get back into that mindset again… 

“How about you?” He asks Poe. The other man’s eyes, fixed on the horizon, flicker with uncertainty. As Finn watches, his mouth presses into a tight line. Gently, Finn bumps his shoulder into the crook of Poe’s arm, and he comes back to himself, giving a little half smile. 

“I guess I am too.” He frowns again, and Finn feels a tinge of worry in his chest. “I just wish you were coming with me instead of with him.” He nods jerkily toward where Ben Solo is studying the maps on the holo projector. “I mean, I really just wish it could be like the old days; you, me, and Rose. Then I’d know we’d have each other’s backs.” 

They lock eyes for a long moment before Finn shrugs a little. “I mean that would be nice. But, I know this is a good plan, and I think it will work.” 

Poe frowns again. He gazes at Finn through dark lashes, but there’s an edge there.

“I’m just don’t know if I feel okay with you out on some strange planet with just him. I’m still not sure we can trust him. Not with your life. And besides, who knows when Rey’s gonna show up with her death minions. It could be a while. What are you guys going to do all that time.” Poe snorts. “He’ll probably bore you to death.” 

Finn’s eyes find Ben. The huge man is bent over the small workbench, squinting at the controls of the holo projector. He looks thoroughly confused. The corner of Finn’s mouth quirks with amusement. “Eh, he’s not so bad… after you get to know him.” 

He doesn’t realize that Poe’s watching him so closely, until he notices him doing a double take between him and Ben. 

“Well, I know you guys have this sort of Force thing between you”, Poe says, tone turning playful. “But I think maybe you’d better stay away. You wouldn’t want Rey to have another reason to want to kill you, by trying to seal her man.” 

“Oh, shut up!” With a groan, Finn shoves him away, rolling his eyes. But a moment later, Poe’s right back at his side, chuckling lightly to himself. “He may be tall and strong, but have you ever gotten a good look at that nose! It could cut carbonite.” Slapping his back, Poe laughs along. “And besides”, Finn huffs, “I would never dare provoke the wrath of Rey!”

“Oh, I know it!” Poe says, tightening his hold on Finn’s shoulders and giving them a little shake. “Trust me, I wouldn’t either!” 

A heavy silence falls, but they just stand there, observing the others working. Finn can tell by the amount of boxes left to load into Rose’s ship that they’ll be ready to go soon. 

“It’s just that-.” Poe begins, but then putters off. Slowly, he turns to face Finn, placing both hands on his upper arms. For several moments, Poe just stares down at the grass, but when his eyes flicker up, they’re bright and earnest. 

“It’s just that, we’ve always done these things together. I mean, what if something happens and… what if Solo turns on you. I’ll never know. I- I won’t be able to do anything…” His eyes fall again, voice tapering off into a whisper. And Finn feels his heart break a little. 

“Listen, Poe…” Finn says after several seconds. Wrapping his hand around his friend’s elbow, he ducks to force Poe’s gaze back on him. “I have to tell you something…” Lips pursing, Poe swallows and then nods. Finn steels himself. But Ben was right; this hast to be done right, and it has to be done now. 

“Solo is training me to use the Force- like for real. He’s my- my teacher now. That’s how I know he’s not going to do anything. I know I can trust him.” 

Poe’s mouth drops open. His eyes go wide as moons. Finn might have found it comical, if he weren’t so worried about what Poe’s going to say. “Are you serious? A you freaking serious!” That’s a little loud, Finn thinks, glancing around at the others to see if they’ve noticed. But he just nods. 

“Yes. I need this, Poe. I’ve needed it for a while. So, the other day when we visited the Oracle, I asked him to teach me.” 

“Are you crazy!” Poe suddenly cries. Thankfully, he doesn’t look angry; only confused. “Why would you do that?!” Finn flinches but tries not to back down. “You know who that guy is, right? You know who he used to be!” 

“Yes, I know!” Feeling a sudden wave of defensiveness rise up inside him, he pushes right back into Poe’s space. “But I don’t exactly have any other choices. He’s the only one left with the knowledge and experience to train me. Otherwise I’d just be floundering by myself!” 

Shaking his head, Poe backs away and walks in a wobbly circle, hands flying to the back of his neck. “I don’t believe this…” Rose just so happens to be walking by, and Poe reaches out to grab her. “Rose, did you know about this? That he’s learning from Solo”, he says when she’s stopped. 

Rose only shrugs. She casts Finn a knowing smile, then nods. “Well I didn’t know exactly. But I had a suspicion.”

“And… you’re alright with this?!”

“I mean, Finn’s a big boy. I think he can take care of himself.” Finn shoots her an appreciative look, and she winks back at him, continuing past them toward her ship. 

Poe goes quiet. Standing a few feet away, he faces away from Finn, toward the line of trees, with hands on his hips. Finn just waits patiently- and a little nervously- for his decision. 

Finally, Poe turns back, a worried look on his face. “Are you sure you he’s not going to try to turn you to the dark side or something like that?” He asks softly, and when Finn nods, he sighs. “And you really trust him?”

“I-,” Rubbing the back of his neck, Finn chuckles. “You know what, as crazy as it sounds… I really think I do.” 

Poe sighs again, but then suddenly he’s pushing himself into Finn’s arms. His hand is warm, cupping his neck, and his hair is silky soft against his cheek. It smells like him. It smells like home. Finn welcomes and returns the embrace, letting his eyes drift closed and letting his mind drift to another reality where he gets to do this all the time… 

“I just want to make sure you’re safe.” Poe murmurs against Finn’s vest, and then softer, “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you… So, promise me you’ll be careful, alright?” Finn nods against Poe’s hair; because he doesn’t think he could speak without revealing the lump that’s lodged itself in his throat. 

After a long while, they pull apart. A little awkwardly, Finn tugs on the bottom of his vest, glancing around to see that everyone had noticed their intense hug. Swallowing, he forces himself to look up at Poe again. 

In this lighting, with clouds framing his face; he really does look so beautiful…

“And you be careful too, ok?” He says. And Poe nods, clapping Finn on the shoulder. He shoots him one last grin, then starts walking off to join the group. And Finn tries a little too hard not to watch him go. 

After he’s composed himself, Finn wanders over to the circle of ships. Everyone is bustling around, grabbing extra supplies, or checking off items from their checklist. Chewie has brought out a rather large crate and is handing out the extra weapons he’s gathered and some impressive looking explosives. He watches as the three Poe’s convinced to go with him; Rymond Dap, Jose Tineman, and Kilon Sugereron, pack the weapons into Poe’s ship, joking and slapping each other’s shoulders. 

Without realizing it, Finn’s gaze is drifting to Rose and they lock eyes across the clearing. A moment later, she walks over to join him in the shade. 

“It’s just about time.” She says, grinning up at him. 

“It is…” He replies. Returning her smile, he begins to feel the tension draining from his muscles and begin to relax. Somehow, she does this to him. Why is it so easy to be around her, while everyone else makes him feel like he has to try too hard? He may never know…

“You alright?” 

“Yeah… I just hope we can get this thing over with soon, without too much bloodshed. I’m worried about fighting Rey. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Squinting in the bright sun, Rose nods in agreement. “I know what you mean. I just hope she’s ok, now- wherever she is.”

“Hey, he says, suddenly rounding on her. “How did you know about me learning from Solo?” 

“What can I say…” She chuckles. “I’m just that good.” A moment later, she’s pressing a gentle hand to Finn’s arm. “Well, I guess we’d better say goodbye now. I think Solo is about to call a meeting.” 

Finn opens his arms and she steps into them. Without meaning to, he lets out a long sigh of contentment. “Stay safe out there.” She says. 

“You too. And don’t take any chances.” 

Her arms tighten around his neck and then, slowly she withdraws. “I’m not making any promises.” She grins up at him then, to his surprise, rises up on tiptoes and presses the softest of kisses to his cheek. It only lingers for a moment, but it sends warmth radiating out from that spot, flushing his cheeks. “Good luck”, she whispers, then goes to meet Solo at the workbench. 

…

“Can everyone join me over here please.” Nervously, Ben clenches his fists beneath the work bench, but keeps his face calm and neutral. Since he is the leader of this thing, he should definitely not let the others see just how anxious he is. 

His mind drifts to his mother. Now that was a true leader. She was born for it, and she always handled every situation with such a calm and confident demeanor. Not like him. Even when he was Supreme Leader, he was still a shit leader. He tries to think what she would do in this situation if she were here. 

Take it one step at a time, he thinks. And don’t say anything stupid. 

“Ok, thanks.” He says, as the group assembles around the low table. “Just get right up close.” He waits until everyone is situated, then swallows and raises his voice. “Great. I’d just like to say thank you to all of you for being here.” 

Inwardly, he groans. He sounds like he’s hosting a garden party instead of leading a mission. 

“I know a lot of you are sacrificing your time and energy to help us out, so thank you.” He tries to make himself look directly into the eyes of the five strangers in the mix. He hasn’t even officially met any of Poe’s friends yet. “Your team leaders- Rose and Poe, know exactly where you’re going and how to get there, so you’re welcome to go to them with any questions.” 

He glances at Finn, who gives a little nod, then up at the holo projection of the maps above them. “Don’t forget. Finn, Chewie, and I will be on staying on Osggia waiting for your call, if you should need help.” He locks eyes with Poe and Rose. “As soon as you land on your respective planets, make sure to radio us immediately to let us know you’ve arrived. Then you’ll need to get out and scatter and start looking for the Sources. Make sure they’re secure and that no one has tampered with them. Then radio in to let me know what you’ve found.”

The others nod, and Ben feels himself relax a little. “Every day, you’ll need to send someone out to keep watch over the Source. You should make camp within walking distance if you can, but one of you should have their eyes on it at all times. As soon as you see Rey or any of her followers, call us and we’ll be there to help as soon as we can.”

Glancing down at his clasped hands, Ben clears his throat. “And there’s something else…” Just think of Leia, he keeps telling himself. Be like Leia. 

“I don’t think Rey has the intention of harming any of you. But I’m not so sure about her followers. So, be careful. And shoot to kill if you have to.” He can’t help the urgency in his voice. “But she is not to be harmed. I will take care of her myself. Trust me, approaching her will only be bad for you, and I don’t want that. Be smart, but be safe.” 

Everyone seems in agreement. Rose and Poe both nod knowingly. Facing Rey is going to be almost as difficult for them as for him, and they’ve prepared for that.

So, here’s the part where he’s supposed to say something inspiring, he realizes, when the silence settles on the small circle. And just like always, his head is completely empty. Licking his lips, he begins to turn to Finn, only to find the other man is already stepping up. 

“We’re going to need each other, if we’re going to get through this.” Finn says, voice strong and steady. “So, have each other’s backs. I know we can do it. Because we have to!” Hesitantly, he looks to Ben, the corners of his mouth curl up in a grim smile. “I think I can say with all certainty; that the fate of the entire Galaxy depends on us.” 

And all of a sudden, Poe is stepping up beside Finn and facing the group, saying, “And may the Force be with us.” 

…

As usual, Finn finds himself a seat outside the cockpit, while Ben and Chewie take the pilot seats. 

In addition, they’re also bringing R2-D2 by his own demand, because he says C-3P0 gets to go on all the adventures, but the little Astromech doesn’t want to actually go with 3PO to Rose’s planet. So, he keeps Finn company while Ben gets the ship into the air. 

It no longer feels strange to take his natural place in his father’s pilot seat. Ben easily slips into the rhythm of flipping switches and checking gauges. His hands are steady on the controls, and he no longer feels awkward or guilty sitting alone with Chewie. They have sort of this quiet intimacy between them, that makes them a good team. Though sometimes Ben will catch him starring at him with a glint in his eye, and wonders if Chewie is thinking about Han. 

As Ben launches them into hyperspace, Chewbacca plugs the coordinates into the Falcon’s computer to guide them to their planet. Letting the ship take over, Ben relaxes back into his seat for the remainder of the smooth journey. 

The moment they drop out of lightspeed, they get their first real look at what this planet looks like. Finn joins them in the cockpit as they all lean over windows to see. 

When they’d read about this planet, they’d found out there were several large cities situated across the surface. So, when picking their destination, they’d decided it would be better to steer clear. They can see the edge of one of these cities now. Tall buildings and airborne motorways and the glint of metal and glass. 

Directly in front of them, is a great shining sea. Its beautiful and crystal blue. And Ben immediately guides them down toward it. 

The earth is very uneven. The land is all rolling hills and valleys, with short trees and shrubbery scattered around. Near the water, the land drops away to reveal miles and miles of level, curving beaches of dark gray sand. Ben settles them down on a bluff overlooking one of these stretches of beaches. 

Letting down the ramp, the group clomps down, carrying an assortment of supplies in boxes. Immediately, they’re hit with the strong ocean breeze. Its cool, much cooler than where they’d just come from, but Ben finds he likes it. 

Setting down his crate, he makes his way to the edge of the hill overlooking the sea. The wind is damp and it smells of salt. Closing his eyes, he revels in its touch, blowing his hair away from his face and cooling his scalp. Its nice, he thinks. This is the sort of place he’d like to live permanently, if that were ever an option for him. And that’s a big IF.

Because right now, its hard to imagine anything existing beyond all this. 

Together, the three of them make a pretty decent camp (R2, of course, declined any offer to participate). They carve out a place for a campfire and surround it with stones. Then they set the empty crates around it in a circle. This is where they’ll cook their food and eat it. As Chewie recalls from his time on Ach-To, he’s an excellent outdoor chef. 

Fresher and toilet are inside the Falcon. And Chewie will keep his normal sleeping quarters onboard. But Ben has already decided he wants to sleep out under the stars. Finding an even spot on the rise above the campfire, he clears if of sticks and rocks, and sets a cot up facing the ocean. 

He’s just about to sit down and relax, when he hears the coms unit they’ve set up outside the ship, begin to buzz. Racing down the slope, he joins Finn at the station. Its Poe, calling in. He’s just arrived on his planet and is about to go out searching. And only a few seconds after he logs off, they hear another voice coming through. 

“Finn, do you read me? This is Rose.” Finn responds and finds out that she’s made it to her planet too. But with kind of a nasty surprise… “It’s like a snowy wasteland out here”, she tells them. “I know you said it was going to be cold, but the whole planet is covered in five feet of ice and snow. It might be hard to find our Source in this weather. I think we’re going to have to find some sort of shelter to camp in first. Then we’ll take out the speeders and start looking.” 

They’re part way through making dinner when they receive their next transmission. Everyone is already gathered around the fire, cooking sausage on long metal sticks, so they can all hear. It’s Poe this time. He says they’ve located the Source on Desraith Opus- specifically, The Eye of Oopen. 

He says the planet is very warm and dry, with planes of yellowed grass and spiky trees. But thankfully, it’s not nearly as hot and sandy as somewhere like Pasaana or Jakku. They just stumbled upon it, out in the open, after riding their speeders across the planes for hours. The Eye of Oopen isn’t really a temple, after all. 

In the middle of an open field, is a circle of rock sculptures jutting up from the ground. They’re carved with markings and reach up over ten feet. Inside that circle, are metal rings, flat on the ground, getting smaller and smaller until they reach a pedestal in the middle, made of rusty bronze. And that’s where the Eye of Oopen sits. It’s a solid pyramid of mixed metal with a single eye carved into each of the three sides. It’s massive and points up into the air above even the circle of standing stones. 

Thankfully, it looks like Rey hasn’t touched yet. 

Poe and his friends haven’t been able to check it out up close yet, because two of them are going back to get ship and bring it closer. But Ben warns them not to get too close, because they have no idea what kind of power it may hold. “Just keep it safe”, he says, “I’ll examine it whenever I get there.” 

After Poe signs out, the three of them go back to finishing their dinner. It’s actually delicious. The savory, smoky flavor feels good on the tongue with all this cool air coming off the ocean, and the fluffy cakes and cream soup for dipping is just the thing to wash it down.

Chewie falls asleep on the sand with a full belly and the fire near his feet. Ben and Finn sit up a while, starring into the flames and passing around the pot cream soup to lick clean with their fingers. When Chewie finally wakes and says goodnight, lumbering back into the ship for the night, Finn gets up and sets up his own cot. He’ll be sleeping beside the fire, so he can tend to it and keep an ear out for the radio. 

Stretching, Ben rises from his crate. “Well, goodnight then”, he says. “Let me know if you hear anything.”

“Will do. Goodnight, Solo.” Finn replies. And with the fire at his back, Ben climbs the rise to his own cot, and stretches out under the stars. 

Ben doesn’t think he’s ever been somewhere with so many stars. It’s like every inch of the dark night shy is covered in them; in layer upon layer of different sizes and hues. Some of them are planets, he knows. Some planets that he’s been to himself, and yet, so many he has yet to explore. He thinks he would like to do that someday; find a list of the most interesting and unique planets in the Galaxy and go around visiting as many as he can. 

Han Solo must have been to a fair number of them, with all the traveling he did in his time. That was practically his job. After this is all over, Ben should ask Chewie to take him to some of those places. 

If this is ever over…

When he was young, his mother had taught him some of the constellations that could be seen from their home in Chandrila. They’d lie out on the balcony in the evenings and stare up at stars, and sometimes Dad would even join them. One night, after lying down beside Leia on the swing, he’d said, “You know even more about the stars than I do, sweetheart. And you haven’t even been to any of them. You should let me take you sometime.”

But she had just shaken her head and waved him off dismissively. “I’m much too busy for that, Han.”

After Ben had been sent away, he’d sneak out of his hut in Luke’s Jedi school, and climb to the top of a hill outside the grounds. He would go over the constellations in his head, so as not to forget them. And he’d pretend his mother and father were looking up at the same stars, thinking of him too. 

Now, he wonders if Rey can see these stars. He doesn’t even know if it’s night where she is, but he sends out a little message through the Galaxy. “I miss you, Rey. I wish you were here.” 

Maybe, just maybe, she is on one of those planets above, and she’s looking out at his planet watching over her. 

When Ben wakes, it’s only barely light. Grunting, he hauls himself from his cot, sore and stiff. He’s not quite used to sleeping out in the weather, and he finds himself covered in grains of sand that have blown onto him during the night. 

The others aren’t awake yet. Ben can see Finn, down by the campfire, still curled up in his blankets. So, he decides to have a quick walk along the beach. 

The sand is divine on his bare feet, but it’s icy where it’s damp from the tide. He rolls his trouser legs up higher and forces himself to walk out into the surf. That wakes him up real fast! And shivering and splashing, he hurries out of the water and back up the hill to camp. 

As soon as he’s within sight, he hears the static of the coms unit and Finn’s sleepy voice answering. Someone has called in. 

Ben runs up the sand, but slows when he hears its just Rose reporting in. He sits down on a crate to dust off his feet, while he listens. 

Apparently, Rose has found her planet’s Source. “We’ve been up several hours now, and I was starting to get worried that we wouldn’t be able to find it all this snow. You should see it Finn, it’s just fields and fields of nothing but white for miles and miles.” 

Finn smirks. “Judging by how cold it sounds, I don’t think I want to see it.”

“Anyway”, she chuckles. “We just stumbled upon it. We’re pretty sure it is a temple. It pretty big and seems to be made of stone. But we couldn’t really get a good look at it because it’s almost completely frozen over. We just uncovered the door, but it won’t budge. So, I think it’s safe to say Rey hasn’t been here yet.” 

“Good”, Ben says, joining Finn at the station. “Don’t worry about trying to break in. We wouldn’t want you to trigger anything. Just keep an eye on it until I have a chance to take a look at it.” 

Rose agrees and then signs off, saying she’ll update them tomorrow. Then Finn and Ben get started on cooking breakfast. Chewbacca is a notoriously late sleeper, so the meal is fully prepared, even before he comes shuffling out of the Falcon. 

After all three are stuffed as full as they can stand, Chewie offers to clean up since the other two did the cooking. “Well good, Ben says with a nod, then turns to face Finn, who’s just sitting back to relax. “Because you and I should probably use this morning for researching The Gate of Whisperous. We’ve got all this free time; might as well use it.”

Finn groans. Throwing his head back, he collapses against his crate. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Where are we going to look? I swear to the Maker that I am not reading one more sentence from those damn Sacred texts, there-!” Finn is just getting worked up, but Ben throws his holo pad at him, cutting him off. 

“Don’t worry.” He consoles. “I’m not going to make you read the texts anymore. I was thinking you could do some searching on the holonet while I recheck that datastick my mom left behind.” Finn’s frown as softened, but he still looks mildly annoyed. “I doubt we’ll find much, but we’ll only work on it till noon, then we can switch to something else.”

They spend the rest of the morning reading. Finn searches every possible variation of the phrase The Gate of Whisperous, and even casually asks about it in a few comment sections. Meanwhile, Ben scours every inch of the datastick for even a hint relative information. He still avoids the personal bits and any holovids. 

But just as he’d suspected, by the time the pale sun is high above in the sky, neither of them have found a thing. 

Needless to say, they’re both tired and irritable after a full morning of fruitless searching. Ben feels as though he might explode with angry pent up energy! No, he thinks; I guess we’ll just have to find Whisperous some other way, because I’m not doing that again! 

The three of them make the noon meal together. And then, while Ben and Chewie relax in the shade of the Falcon, Finn goes for a walk down by the sea. When he returns to their little camp, Ben is waiting for him, two poles in hand.

“Ah there you are, my young Padawan”, Ben says, a grin worming its way across his face. Finn’s eyes narrow and he raises a finger an obscene gesture.

“There’s no way in hell, I’m ever listening to you again if you call me that one more time, ‘Master’.” He says, “What’s with the sticks?” Dusting some sand off his leg, he plants his hands on his hips, eyeing the two wooden polls in Ben’s hands. 

“Funny you should ask…” Ben chuckles. “Here!” Suddenly, he thrusts one at Finn and starts climbing the hill beside the ship. “Follow me.” 

At the very top of the hill, is a nice flat plane, a few yards wide. It’s the tallest spot in the area and they can see for miles. A little reluctantly, Finn joins him at the edge, looking out of the water. 

“You’re not planning to make a human sacrifice out of me, are you? Because that is not what I signed up when I agreed to learn the Force.”

Ben turns away, grinning. “No, no.” He says, crossing to the other side of the open area and then extends the hand holding the pole toward Finn, as if he were wielding a lightsaber. “I figured we could do a bit of sword practice.” Frowning, Finn cocks his head to the side. 

“Really? Won’t you just beat me right away? I’m not sure fighting against me is going to help you stay in shape for going up against Rey.” 

“Nah. I’ll go easy on you. That’s why I’m not using my real saber.” Playfully, Ben swirls his pole around in the air. “Consider this one of your lessons. We could both use the exercise, and you’ll have to learn eventually, so why not start now?” 

Finn pauses, considering it for a minute. But then he shrugs and raises his own pole. “Ok Let’s do it. Why not!” 

This is fun, actually. It comes as a surprise to both of them how much they enjoy it.

First of all, Ben sets out showing Finn the basics; like where to grip, and a few different moves and blocks for him to try. Once he has those down, they stand opposite each other and slowly whack their sticks together. 

Of course, Finn has used a lightsaber before, but that time, he’d been just swinging wildly. As a stormtrooper, he was trained in several different types of combat, so he actually picks up the swordplay rather quickly. Which surprises and impresses Ben. They pick up the pace, and Ben finds his heart beginning to beat faster with the adrenaline he might have during a real battle. 

When Finn accidently hits Ben in the arm, Ben dives in as if going in for the kill; poking the other man in the stomach, and then using the Force to flip over him and slash his through from behind. At his defeat, Finn playfully collapses to the grass, making dramatic death noises until he falls still. Ben grins down at him. 

“Ok, get up.” He says, poking Finn with his stick. “You need to work on keeping your guard up on your right side now.” They go at it again; slower this time so Ben can show him the moves. 

“I almost don’t want to bring this up”, Finn says suddenly, while Ben’s in mid-swing, “but, doesn’t this remind you of something?”

“Well, I was trying not to…” He shoots Finn a look, then stabs his pole into the dirt. “But yes, I do.” Of course, he does. Just being around Finn; sometimes it’s hard not to be reminded of that night on Starkiller Base, when they’d dueled in the snow. They’ve avoided talking about anything Kylo Ren related since that first day, so this is the first it’s come up. 

Finn tries to avoid looking Ben in the eyes. Casually, he begins haphazardly whacking at the tall grass. “Man, that hurt like HELL! But at least, I blacked out from the pain before it got too unbearable.”

Ben pauses then. He keeps on starring at Finn, until he can no longer ignore it. Clenching his hands, Ben takes a deep breath and says, “I’ll apologize again, if you want me too…” He searches Finn’s face for a sign. “I was in the wrong. I am sorry for what I did to you.” 

“Nah, nah-.” Finn says hurriedly, waving Ben away casually. “Don’t worry about it.” Dropping his eyes, he begins playing in the dirt with his pole. “I just thought is was kinda funny- how far we’ve come from that. I barely even think about it anymore.” 

Swallowing, trying to ignore the guilt faring in his chest, Ben nods. He’s not entirely sure Finn’s telling the truth, but he’s glad for it. He clears his throat and raises his stick again, leveling it at his opponent. A signal to start again. 

As they begin to circle each other again, holding their polls at arm’s length, Finn cracks a grin. “I didn’t do too badly though. On Starkiller.” He says, smile broadening. “I mean, I did get a couple hits in, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah, you did. On my arm. I’ve still got the scar.” Just like Finn still probably has the scar all the way down his back. But the other man only smirks in satisfaction. 

They go another few rounds, when suddenly, Finn drops his arm and his face does serious. “Why are we doing this, Ben?” Ben feels like he’s just been hit by a ship. He is shocked at two tings; the question, for one- and that Finn has called him Ben! Frowning, he also drops his weapon. 

“I mean, we’re just playing around for fun- or is there a real reason why we’re doing this?” 

The pole falls from Ben’s fingers. Slowly, he crosses the distance between the two men and looks right into Finn’s eyes. “Wait here”, he quietly says, then disappears over the side of the hill. And after a few unnerving minutes, he finally returns. 

There’s something clasped in his fist. Ben comes to stand right in front of Finn, and for a moment, he just stares down at his fingers. “I have something for you”, he says, finally. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I think now is the time. I think you’re almost ready…”

A little hesitantly, he gently reaches down to grab Finn’s hand. The two lock eyes. 

“When we were on Mustafar, in those caves,” Ben begins, “I started thinking about training you. I knew you would need one of these.” He coaxes the other men’s hand open and places his closed hand on his palm. “So, I grabbed one when you weren’t looking.” Slowly, his hand retracts leaving something small and hard in Finn’s hand. And Finn gasps when he sees it. 

It’s beautiful- even more so in the daylight, with the sun glinting off its almost iridescent surface. The small crystal about the same width as his pinky finger and half as long, with little, pointy shards jutting off at the base. Finn is rendered speechless. 

“A Kyber Crystal…” He breathes, suddenly glancing up at Ben. “For me?”

“Of course. You were going to need one eventually… if you want to become a real Force-user.” Finn just keeps starring down at the crystal, running it between his fingers reverently. Ben chuckles softly. The warmth in his chest is not uncomfortable- in fact if feels good… really good! “You’ll have to perform the bonding ritual for it to be ready to use. But we can do that today, if you want.” 

He watches Finn’s face intently, holding his breath as he waits for his answer. Finn swallows, then closes his fist tightly around the crystal. “Are you- are you sure I’m ready? I mean, I can barely use the Force at all right now. And where am I going to find a hilt, anyway?” 

“Well…” Ben replies carefully. “I think you are. The bonding ritual has always been a sort of initiation for Jedi padawans starting their Force journey. That kind of intense meditation and connecting to the Force is a great way to kickstart your abilities. I think this will actually help you, and of course, I’ll be there to instruct you.”

“And you won’t be using the saber in battle yet. I’ll hang onto it for you while we’re still practicing, and then I’ll give it to you when you’re ready.” Finn rolls his eyes and Ben chuckles, glancing over Finn’s shoulder at where Chewie is working in the shadow of the Falcon. “As for the hilt… I’ve asked Chewie if he could rustle something up with all the spare parts and wiring, he has around the ship.” 

He notices the hesitation on Finn’s face. He recognizes it from his own initiation when he was young. He’s noticed that Finn hasn’t agreed yet either. “So, what do you say”, he asks, trying to contain his excitement. 

Closing a fist tightly around his Kyber Crystal, Finn raises his head and gives a definitive nod. “Let’s do it.” 

… 

The sun is just setting as they climb yet another crest in the hill. At the top there are large rocks scattered around, and Ben picks the largest and instructs Finn to sit on it, legs crossed. “Close your eyes”, he tells him, “And take deep breaths.” They wait in silence as Finn obeys, centering himself in the glowing sunset light. 

“Now… reach out.” And Finn does; with his hand, opening to reveal the crystal, and within himself. “Maybe you know what the Force feels like already. Look inside yourself. Reach into every living thing around you. It is all the same… It is the Force. We are all one.”

“Do you feel it?” He asks, and when Finn silently nods, he closes his eyes too. “Maybe people think of the Force as a god; and one side of it as godlike, guiding the people and appointing destinies. But it is better described as an energy… a force. It flows through everything and gives us life and being. No matter who you are, the Force lives inside you. Now, there are those who are stronger with it- those who are chosen, but everyone is bound together by the connection at the core of our being, where the Force flows through.”

In a strange way, Ben can feel Finn reaching out. He can feel Finn sensing Ben’s own signature in the Force. “That Force is in that crystal too. But it’s much stronger than with any other living object. You can feel it, can’t you?” Ben opens his eyes to see Finn nodding, but then almost gasps when he sees the Kyber crystal levitating about an inch above his palm. He’s doing it without even trying to. 

“Think of it as a connection; like a rope or an anchor made of only the Force, binding you together. Feel the energy inside yourself. Feel the energy inside the crystal. Then imagine a cord connecting you, and then reach out and draw it tighter, closer.” Ben watches as it rises another few inches, the Kyber beginning to quiver and glow faintly.

“As you pull, the cord gets thicker, stronger. It will soon be unbreakable. You can feel it binding itself to you, deep in the very core of your soul, where it is anchored…. This crystal is a part of you now. It is just an extension of yourself. When you wield it, it is just like using an arm or a leg. It is loyal to you and only you, and will come when you call.”

In fascination, Ben watches the crystal begin to glow brighter, spinning in midair- faster and faster. And something else has begun to happen as well. Finn is now levitating above the ground. Grinning to himself, Ben closes his eyes as well, to feel the final part of this ritual. 

“Now, call to it”, he whispers, and he feels Finn’s Force energy spike. A moment later, an unintelligible noise comes out of Finn’s parted lips. Electricity fills the air. It is palpable, making the hairs on Ben’s arms stand up and his flesh prickle. 

Finn mutters again and there’s a high-pitched whine coming from the crystal itself. Ben covers his ears, but keeps his eyes closed as a bright light flashes beyond his eyelids. 

And then, it’s over. Finn crashes to the earth with a thump. All is still. 

Slowly, Ben opens his eyes to find the younger man sitting there, just as before, starring out at the sun as it finally dips below the horizon and disappears. The lilac of twilight shines in his eyes, now glistening with a different tint to them; Ben thinks. In his outstretched hand, is his refined Kyber crystal, glowing through the cracks in his fist. 

“Did it work, then? Ben asks in a hushed voice, daring to rest a light hand against his pupil’s shoulder. Still starring at the horizon in awe, Finn nods. “How do you feel?”

“Good”, he answers immediately. Then his voice softens. “Different…” Finally, he twists his face upward to gaze at Ben. And Ben wasn’t wrong; there is a new light in his eyes. “I think you were right. I think that was exactly what I needed.” 

At that, Ben tightens his hold on his shoulder, feeling a strange mix of triumph and excitement. He smiles down at Finn. “Go-.” 

“Ben! BEN!!!” All of a sudden, there’s a cry from the direction of the ship below. Its Chewie. He sounds upset! His frantic cries mix with R2’s beeping as it draws closer. 

Kyber still clasped in his fist, Finn rises to stand beside Ben. They cross together to look down over the edge of the hill. Chewbacca is running toward them, arms waving. “Chewie!” Ben exclaims. 

“It’s Poe”, he growls back, “He says Rey is coming. We need to go now!” 

Finn and Ben look at each other. Taking a deep breath, Ben says, “I guess we’ll have to finish this later. I’ll hang onto that for you, in the meantime.” With a nod, Finn places the still faintly glowing crystal into Ben’s hand, who deposits it carefully into an inside pocket of his jacket. 

“Here we go!” Finn says. And then, the two of them takeoff racing down the hill and into the starship beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! :)
> 
> Come say hi on Twitter. I'm @C3P_REYL0 .


	15. The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, what’s our plan, hot shot?” Poe asks, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder to get a better look, but then is swatted away.  
> Biting his lip, Ben forces his gaze away from Rey’s figure shimmering in the heat and to the soldiers all around her.  
> “Well, they’ve got the numbers, but we have speeders.” He replies. “And we also have the element of surprise. So, I say, we go at them full speed. Let’s go in, blasters blazing, and drive in as far as we can though the ranks. Then I’ll go in for Rey, while you guys cover me. Hopefully, this will be over quickly. But if not, Rose will be here soon with backup.”

“Down there!” Ben cries, leaning over the Wookie’s shoulder, through the window on the port side. Chewie, who had gotten to the pilot seat first and now pilots the Falcon down through the planet’s dense atmosphere, swerves the controls to aim where Ben’s finger is pointed. And Finn is flung sideways from where he’s standing behind, clinging to Chewie’s chair. 

Poe was right. This place looks about as desolate as anywhere they’ve ever been and the heat waves billowing up from the tall yellow grass are plenty indication of how hot it is outside. They spot Poe’s ship first and start flying directly toward it, but then, as they fly over, they notice four people riding speeders, going in the opposite direction. Poe waves as they fly over, and Chewie makes a quick course correct and comes in for a landing fight in front of the group. 

Ben and Finn are at the ramp before the doors are even opened and running down into the blistering heat. Poe and his friends skid to a stop, kicking up sand and hot air, right into the two men’s faces. Poe and Finn grin at each other, but Ben doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. “Where is she?” He demands, fingers reflexively curling into fists. 

Old habits die hard… 

“This way”, Poe replies, pointing toward a small cluster of hills in the distance. “The Source is right beyond those hills.” 

“Let’s go!” 

Ben’s group is the only one that didn’t bring speeders, so before Poe can protest, Ben is swinging up behind him, gripping the speeder’s seat for balance. As Finn shoots Poe a look and then climbs on behind one of their friends, Poe turns his head to glare at Ben for several long seconds. But thankfully, any retort he might be about to give is cut off when the big Wookie comes lumbering down the ramp and the second and third of Poe’s teammates climb onto one speeder so Chewie can have his own. Then when they’re all finally situated, the group takes off. 

It’s almost unbearably hot, even with the speeders going as fast as they can, blowing air into his face. Ben begins to wish he’d just left his jacket behind. When he glances over his shoulder, he sees that Chewie is absolutely sweltering.

Even before the hills are within range, something big, black and hulking can be seen in the distance, parked on the pale savannah like a harsh gash. It’s a huge freighter, but not like any he’s ever seen. It must be Rey’s ship. And he’s given confirmation as they skid to a halt just behind the smallest hill and are able to peek around the side. 

There she is. Dressed in all black, just like the last time they’d seen her, but this time she’s not wearing a hood or a cape, but an outfit very similar to the one she used to wear before. Dark arm wraps and sheer billowing fabric flowing from her shoulders and waist. But now, her hair flows free; and now seeing it in the light of day, Ben is shocked to realize how much longer it is that it was before that day on Exegol.

Of course, she is not alone. And she doesn’t seem to be in any great hurry either. 

Flanked on every side by a crowd of her followers, she glides across the open field between her ship and what can only be The Eye of Oopen. There are a lot of them, draped in scraggly cloaks with black and red masks on. They outnumber Ben’s little party 7 to 30. 

Now, Rose and Connix should have been alerted and are on their way (Beaumont is staying behind to keep watch), but that still puts them at a huge disadvantage. Rey is just sauntering across the clearing with slow, purposeful steps and appears to be taking her sweet time. It doesn’t look like she’s expecting them, so why did she bring so many? 

The little group huddles together at the base of the hill, assessing the situation. They need a plan, Ben thinks. “So, when you said Rey recruited some cultists, you really meant she recruited an army…” Finn says, starring open-mouthed at the crowd. 

“I didn’t actually think there would be this many… but yes…” They don’t really have time to waste just standing here, but none of them can quite summon the resolve to make a move. 

“So, what’s our plan, hot shot?” Poe asks, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder to get a better look, but then is swatted away. 

Biting his lip, Ben forces his gaze away from Rey’s figure shimmering in the heat and to the soldiers all around her. In their hands are mostly spears and staffs; crude weapons without projectiles or explosives. So, this is to be a hand to hand combat then, he realizes. 

“Well, they’ve got the numbers, but we have speeders.” He replies. “And we also have the element of surprise. So, I say, we go at them full speed. If I’m going to stop Rey, I’m going to need to get through all of those guys first. So, let’s go in, blasters blazing, and drive in as far as we can though the ranks. Then I’ll go in for Rey, while you guys cover me. Hopefully, this will be over quickly. But if not, Rose will be here soon with backup.” 

He looks to the others and Finn, Poe, and Chewie nod. The other three men- that Ben has completely forgotten their names- nod too. They all climb back on their speeders. Taking a deep breath, Ben prepares himself. Once they’re around his hill, there’s no going back and there’s no stopping until he reaches Rey.  
Poe reeves the engine and then they’re off, hurtling forward at full speed. It takes Rey’s a minute to notice- they’re all watching her, as she enters the circle of standing stones surrounding the Eye of Oopen; a large pyramid-like sculpted out of stone, sitting atop a tall pedestal. 

Rey is the first one. Lightning fast, her head snaps to the side, in the direction the speeders are hurtling toward her. Their eyes meet. For a moment, all is still. Ben feels it; that instant connection. She’s been trying to block him out, but now that they’re this close, the bond bursts with life and all those burning, conflicting emotions she’s tried so desperately to keep hidden. 

‘I’m here’, he tries to project across their connection, ‘I’m here to help you, Rey. Come to me’. But it’s like she doesn’t even hear him; because after a long intense stare between them, Rey turns her gaze back on the pyramid before her and continues her slow journey forward, as if nothing at all had happened.  
Ben grits his teeth, anger rising within him. Does she really think she can just ignore them?! He watches as the corner of her lovely mouth lifts in the smallest of grins, and seethes deep inside. But he doesn’t have long to brood in his anger, because just as his eyes flicker away, they hit the wall of cultists.

Well, he’ll show her…

The blasters are out as all three speeders crash into the first line of Rey’s followers. But instead of leaping out of the way or ducking to avoid the blasts, the ranks of her small army crowd together to form a barricade, linking arms and raising their shields between them. To Ben’s utter shock, the force only squishes in tighter, forming a protective ring three layers thick around Rey and the standing stones. The speeders break through the first layer but bounce harmlessly off the second.

The seven of them are tossed into the air. The speeders land on ground with a heavy thump. Shaking his head, Ben attempts to peel himself off the ground, but then sees that the cultists that were in the third ring are breaking their barricade and moving to surround them. Calling out, Ben stumbles to his feet, grabbing Poe’s hand at the same time as his hand reaches for his lightsaber. And a good thing too; because a second later, the first of the cultists is upon him. 

The seven of Ben’s crew and the ten-or so of Rey’s minions begin a battle on the ground, while the others retain their protective shield around Rey and watch. 

Rey. Ben’s eyes find her through the crowd. She’s slowly circling the Eye of Oopen, eyes narrowed and shoulders tense. She seems to be assessing it, looking for the best way or place to destroy it. Suddenly her gaze flickers up, searching the fighting for a moment before she finds him. Her worried expression is banished when she sees he’s alright, but she can’t hide the guilt in her eyes. 

“Rey!” He has to try. He doesn’t care if he sounds desperate; he is desperate! “Rey”, Ben cries, “Stop. Don’t do this!” 

Her expression sinks, and she turns quickly away. There’s an urgency to her searching now. She must realize that he’s not going to give up until she’s stopped.

Ducking under a spear headed directly for him, Ben dives forward, slashing with his lightsaber. The blue blade slices straight through the attacker’s abdomen without resistance and he falls, and Ben dodges behind his falling body to avoid the curved blade of another blunt weapon. He kills that man too, then glances back at Rey, who seems to have stopped circling and settled on a spot. 

This is the first time since he’s been back that he’s fought with a lightsaber, and it’s a little startling to see the blue instead of red rendering flesh from bone. It’s a little sobering actually. 

This is the first time in a very long time that he’s actually felt disturbed by the necessary violence- whereas, as Kylo Ren, he welcomed it… 

In the corner of his eye, Rey’s own double-bladed lightsaber crackles to life. One beam solid golden-yellow and the other end an unstable red blade. Though he has no idea where she got the red one, this is the first time he’s seen it in action, and it’s a shock- to say the least. Keeping her gaze trained on the pyramid of Oopen, she extends her saber toward it, testing the Eye’s surface durability with the sparking tip. 

Ben has just taken down his third cultist and turned to find the remaining already occupied with fighting his comrades, when he notices the sound of an approaching ship. He ducks as the ship flies over, blocking out the sun for a moment, and he throws his arms up over his head to shield himself. But when he looks up, he sees that its not one of the enemies attacking, but a familiar transport ship.

“It’s Rose!” Finn cries, from the other side of the clearing, where he’s been cut off fighting his own opponent. Pausing his blasting a moment, he pumps a fist in the air and shouts, “Rose is here!” 

A bit of relief seeps into Ben’s chest, but as the shadow of her ship passes over again as she comes in for a landing, he whirls back around to see there are still two layers of cultists forming a wall between him and Rey. 

Extending his saber, he slashes at one of the soldiers, expecting him to dodge or block. But to his horror, the man doesn’t even flinch. The man falls, but then the others just squash back in to fill his place. Ben swings his saber again, but again, they don’t even move. 

She’s ordered them not to fight back… he realizes. His mouth falls open as his gaze flickers to Rey. Why would they do this? How did she make them so loyal to her command that they would gladly sacrifice their lives!? It doesn’t make sense. 

Grunting in frustration, Ben shuts off his lightsaber. He is unable to kill; not like this- not even to get to her. But he still has options. Stepping back a bit, he stretches out his hand and thrusts with the Force, trying to shove a hole in the linked shields. And they begin to slide backward, causing the line to warp, and tremble. He is about to begin kicking his way through the week part, when he realizes four of the men from the other side have realized what he’s doing and have broken away to try to restrain him. They descend on his from behind, but he quickly moves to ram the butt of his saber hilt into one’s forehead, successfully knocking him out. 

Just as they were about to win this round, a new wave is upon them and they’re outnumbered once again. Several of the cultists have broken away from the barricade, shrinking the perimeter of the circle, letting them all a little closer. But thankfully, Rose and Connix have arrived and have joined Finn on the outer edge of the battlefield, as they’re cut off from the rest of the group by the soldiers moving in.

Ben beings attacking the human shield again with ferocity. But just when he’s almost broken several men off from the chain, three people are dogpiling him from behind. They drag him to the ground, but instead of pulling their weapons to finish him off, they’re unarmed and merely use their bodyweight to press him down into the dry grass. 

With a strong kick from both legs, and an invisible shove with the Force, he manages to free himself enough to stagger to his feet. His eyes immediately lock with Rey’s, who had become momentarily distracted at the sight of him going down. He can feel her spiking adrenaline and fear from here. Rey’s eyes roam his body to be sure he’s alright, but once she’s satisfied, she turns stiffly back to fiddling with the pyramid. 

With a huff, Ben growls inwardly. Why is she acting like this? How can she appear so calm and reassured- like she knows she’s going to succeed? ‘Rey’, he tries to press through their bond, but she seems determined to ignore him. 

You’re not going to win. I’m going to stop you and help you. I swear that I will. He thinks, just before he’s tackled from behind again and thrown onto his back with a thud.

… 

“Looks like I got here just in time.” Brandishing her blaster, Rose ducks under the end of a double-bladed spear to blast the man about to stab Finn in the back. He jumps as he hears the solider go down, then grins as he helps her up from her knees. 

“Really? Seems like you took your sweet time getting here.” Finn replies, and Rose arches an eyebrow. The two go back to back, firing in tandem at the two cultists attempting to get close enough for a hit. 

“Well, I wanted to let you have a little fun before I got here and took them all down.”

Finn grimaces as one of the soldiers pulls out a knife and takes aim at him. He blocks it, but the tips graze his thigh as it falls. “Actually, if you would go ahead and do that, it would be great. I’m not having quite so much fun anymore.” 

When Rose turns, following her target, she suddenly gives a sharp inhale. Thinking she’s been hurt, Finn whips his head to the side, but he finds her just staring straight ahead, toward the circle of standing stones and Rey beyond them. 

“Oh… Rey…” She whispers quietly, and Finn winces. “I’ve never seen her like that. I know you guys said dark, but… I didn’t realize…” She seems at a loss, and Finn can’t blame her. No amount of description and details can prepare you for seeing your best friend like that. 

“Yeah… you never really get used to it.” He fires off several rounds as the cultist pokes his body around the two soldiers currently fighting Connix several feet away. He can’t help his gaze flickering to where Poe and his three friends are fighting on the other side a group of cultists. His heart stutters when Poe barely ducks out of the way of a blunt end of a staff. 

Suddenly, Rose cries out and moves from his back. Finn immediately misses her warmth. Turning, he sees that Rose has seized her opportunity when one of the soldiers was hit with a rogue spear and stumbled to his back. As he pushes himself off the ground, he doesn’t notice her descending on him, but Finn notices another soldier jumping out and running right for her. 

Finn attempts to shoot the man, but his blasts bounce harmlessly off the soldier’s bulky, homemade armor. So, he does the only thing he can; he runs for the attacker. But a moment later, he knows he’s going to be too late. Diving and sliding on his stomach, Finn throws himself at the cultist with all his might. And as a last-ditch effort, he throws his hand out and releases his blaster, hoping it will do something. 

Rose has just reached her target and knocked him unconscious with the butt of her blaster handle, when the man’s hands are on her. She screams, then whirls around to use her blaster as a weapon, but its knocked out of her hand by his spear. Falling backward, she braces herself for her attacker’s next swing. Finn’s blaster, too, bounces off his back. But his aim does not… 

All of a sudden, the man goes ridged, and then his entire body rises from the ground, until his boots are hovering over a foot above the waving grass. Rose stares up with open mouth, then shakily turns to see Finn, lying on his stomach several feet away, hand outstretched and face contorted. 

A moment later, the soldier goes flying. With a twitch of Finn’s wrist, he falls headfirst into the sand a yard away, and doesn’t move again. 

Rose continues to stare as Finn picks himself up and rushes over to her. He chuckles when he takes in the expression on her face- a mix of surprise and awe. “So… that’s new…” She says. They both laugh as Finn takes her hand and yanks her to her feet. 

They’re standing very close now, chests pressed together, and Finn doesn’t let go of her hand. “It is. I didn’t even know I could do that.” He quips breathlessly. He glances down at his still shaking hand. 

“So, I take it things went well on your little bonding trip.” 

Unconsciously, Finn finds Ben in the crowd, fighting with his fists and lightsaber hilt, while a gang of Rey’s minions try to dogpile him from all sides. “Yeah, I guess you could say that…” He feels his heart sink into his stomach at that. If Ben Solo is barely hanging on, then what hope do the rest of them have?

The two of them seem to realize at the same moment that they’re still gripping each other’s hands, and quickly let go. Finn backs up, unsuccessfully hiding his blush behind a palm rubbing the dirt from his cheeks. 

Suddenly, there’s a crackling sound and both round toward it, resuming their fight stances; only to see Rey, off in the distance, raising both hands in open hands toward the Eye of Oopen, as blue sparks begin to flicker between her fingers. 

“Oh-no…”, Rose says, and Finn agrees.

…

The rush of power is unimaginable. She can feel it shuddering within her very bones, rising to the surface, building just under her skin. As Rey concentrates, the blue electricity sparkles between her spread fingers. She watches as it grows, arcing toward the tall stone pyramid- the infamous Eye of Oopen.

She can feel the eyes of the others upon her. She knows the moment Ben is able to push back the attack force enough to get a good look at what she’s doing. Deep inside, her heart quavers; a twisted guilt making nearly making her sick to her stomach. With no damper on their bond any longer, she feels his disappointment and desperation as if it were her own. 

But she must ignore it. She had left him after all, and that had taken almost all her strength to do; so if she could do that, she can put her feelings aside for a little longer to ensure his safety for the rest of his life. 

Gritting her teeth, Rey thrusts her arms forward, drawing on the Dark Side more that she would normally feel comfortable doing. The lightning connects with stone and the ground begins to shake. It sends shudders back through her arms. A familiar feeling. She manipulates the gene given ability just as Palpatine had on the day he had killed them both. 

Except this time, she is the one on the preforming end- she is the one with all the power. 

“Rey!” His voice comes to her through the fog of noise caused by the power coursing around and through her. “Rey, please!” And then again; this time within her inner ear and so loud it nearly breaks her concentration. 

No! He’s using their connection against her. She wishes she could shut him out like she has been for the past several days they’ve been apart. But she’s all but draining her own lifeforce to produce enough lightning for what she needs to do. The least she can do is keep from hearing her own private thoughts. 

As painful as it is to use Palpatine’s final gift, this is the only way to affectively destroy an Incarnate Source of the Force. With the first one, she’d tried a number of different methods. Explosives. Cutting it with a lightsaber. Using the Force to smash it. But nothing even made any impact whatsoever. It was only an ability of pure evil- pure Dark Side- that could cause something like this to cease to exist.

Distantly, she hears Ben calling out to his f--… Rey had been about to think of them as his friends, when they were really her friends from the very beginning… until she betrayed them. She feels both angry, sad, and guilty, but she chooses to latch onto the anger, and let it fuel her the last little bit. 

Ben calls out to his- allies. “Get the speeders. Both of you hit in the same place and try to break through the line!” He sounds absolutely frantic. Poe responds and then she hears the hum of motors come to life. 

Rey can’t help her lips twist into a little smirk. Because, of course, it will never work. She’s so close now. She has already won. 

The speeders crash into the line of her soldiers. The first layer breaks, but just barely, and then the Sith Cultists are jumping back into place. Not quite fast enough, Ben gets caught in the middle, and is pressed in on all sides- like sand rat caught in a trap made of flesh and bones. 

His lightsaber comes out; she sees its blue gleam out of the corner of her eye, and it startles her again- still not used to the sight. He begins hacking away mercilessly, no longer caring what he’s doing, needing only to get to her. 

He’s nearly through the wall of soldiers, now. But he’s too late. 

With a scream, with a furious ragged roar, Rey thrusts her entire body toward the power Source. She sees the moment the beam of crackling light pierces the stone exterior. And with an ear-shattering boom, the Eye of Oopen explodes. 

The blast throws everyone- everything within a hundred feet back. Except for Rey. She had been expecting it, and taken a grip with the Force, so that she only slid back a few feet, shielding her face and head with her arms. But there was very little debris to worry about. The Sith lightning had obliterated the Source. There won’t even be pieces left to try to mold back together…

Rey finds Ben in the clouds of smoke and dirt, standing among the pile of bodies that had been thrown back and thrust to the ground. Digging deeper, she finds his heartbeat, steady and achingly familiar. 

Good, she thinks. He’s alright. 

As the cloud begins to dissipate, Rey is already hurrying to her ship. Her forces form a thick line behind her, ready to cut off anyone who might try to follow. But none of them have the strength to give chase. 

At the top of the ramp, she turns to face him again, as the cultists run by, filling the ship, and preparing it to take off. They observe each other across the battlefield. Rey had expected the biting knife point of disappointment and betrayal written plainly across his beautiful, pale features; but it’s the anger that surprises her. And even more surprising, it hurts even worse. 

She had sliced open his face and then stabbed him nearly to death with his own saber once. But looking at his face now, feeling the raw emotion swirling in his chest, she realizes that this time she might have finally gone too far for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry, Ben.” As gently as she can, she whispers across their bond. She notices the distinct curling of his fists and then he drops his head; as the ship lifts and begins ascending into the clouds, before disappearing from sight. 

…

As the dust begins to clear, Finn lifts his head, climbing to his feet where he’s landed in the dirt next to Rose, where they’d been flung after the explosion. Shakily, he helps Rose to her feet and she immediately begins coughing from the black smoke in the air. 

The only one still standing is Ben. Head hanging, he stands with his back to the others, just outside the circle of standing stones. Inside, the Eye of Oopen is just a charred smudge. The circle is completely empty, and Rey’s ship is nowhere to be seen. 

Finn hears coughing coming from a pile of people, mostly dead cultists, who had fallen together in the blast. Poe! 

Quickly, Finn races over to where Poe is still kneeling in the grass, coughing, and wiping the dirt from his face. Finn suddenly feels a little guilty that he’d been protecting Rose and hadn’t even thought of his best friend in the crazy of battle. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, extending a hand to guide Poe to his feet. They both have to roll a dead soldier off Poe’s leg for him to get up. Still coughing, Poe nods. Thankfully, resting a hand round Finn’s neck, he leans his head on his friend’s shoulder. And Finn allows the relief flow through him, realizing they’re all still safe and together. 

One by one, each face in their small group lifts toward Ben, where he still stands motionless. His eyes are closed and his chest rises and falls in too fast of a rhythm; anger shudders in his clenched fists and shoulder. Finn takes a few steps toward him. “Ben…”, he says, uncertain if he should go to him. 

But Ben does not reply. And a moment later, his saber is out and lit. Gasping, everyone takes an uncertain step back.

And before Finn can say something calming; with a snarl, Ben raises his lightsaber and begins hacking away at one of the rock columns, slicing deep gashes through the center, until it begins to topple to the side. “No!” The blue beam flashes and sparks fly with uncontrolled rage. “No, no! NO!” Ben growls low in his throat, using his remaining strength to reduce the huge rock to slivers. 

All of a sudden Ben’s lightsaber falls to his side. Panting and shuddering, he hangs his head again; defeated. Finn doesn’t even need to look into his eyes to see the shame and regret already plaguing him. 

“Sorry…” Ben turns slightly but doesn’t look at them. No one moves, and after a moment’s silence, he raises his voice and says, “Come on, let’s go.” 

“Go? Go where?” Connix asks, climbing to her feet with Rose’s help. 

“Back to where you came from. We’ll all follow you and Rose back to your planet. There’s no use staying here anymore.” Finn and Rose exchange a glance, but ultimately, follow Solo back toward their ships. Chewie is the only one who dares run to catch up with him. 

Poe’s friend, Rymond Dap, was injured pretty badly just before the explosion, when he’d been caught by a spear to the thigh when he was distracted. So, Poe and Connix and Kilon Sugereron, take up the rear, carrying him between them. 

The whole ride back, Ben does not speak. Chewie takes the pilot’s seat and Finn rides with him in the cockpit, while Solo disappears to the back. He does not reappear until all three ships are nestled safely inside the cave that Rose has made their base on the planet Feji, and most of the cargo is unpacked. 

Beaumont appears and leads them to their campfire, where he’s already made dinner, asking what happened. Rose and Connix relay the events of the battle, before the two girls hurry back to Poe’s ship to look after Rymond Dap.

The cave is huge; a hole carved out by the wind in the side of a glacier. Rose was right. This planet is pure ice and snow, and its cold enough to make him never want to leave the cave’s confines again. 

With the ships parked at the gaping opening, their camp and fire are set back against the inner wall, far from the freezing winds. It’s actually very pleasant. Rose’s team has set up a cooking station beside their coms unit and then made a ring of tents around the campfire. Finn finds himself settling there, on a crate to warm his feet, while Beaumont finishes warming up their dinner. 

He see’s Ben Solo’s hulking shadow before he sees him. The large man makes his way to the fire and slumps down in the seat next to Finn. This is the most upset Finn’s seen him in a long time- well… since before he died and came back to life a new person. 

He knows Ben’s discouraged and angry about how their mission went today. Finn is too. He can’t even begin to process it yet. Seeing Rey again, like that… Realizing just how outnumbered and outmatched they really are…

Rose appears, wiping her hands with a towel. Everyone turns to her expectantly, and she explains that their injured comrade is resting and will probably be just fine- though he’s in no condition to fight. 

Throwing away the towel, Rose takes the bowl of soup Beaumont hands her, but she’s eyeing Ben. Finn watches as she makes her way over and then stops, looming over where Ben is sulking in his seat. “Ahem…” She clears her throat, and he glances up. “Aren’t you going to say something?” Ben snorts, and Rose’s nostrils flare. “We were defeated pretty bad today. Rey is still on the Dark Side, and one of our own was injured.”

“Thanks for reminding me”, Ben replies flatly. 

“So, you need to say something to them!” She insists. 

Finally, Solo straightens up to look her in the eye. His tone is much harsher than either Finn or Rose had expected. “Like what? What do you want me to say?” 

“That there’s still hope.” Rose replies emphatically, bending over to stick her nose in his face. 

Ben shakes his head. “Is there, Rose?!” He demands, and a moment later she straightens back up and gives a single decisive nod. 

“Yes!” She says it with such conviction, Ben can’t help shrinking a little. “There is always hope.” Then she turns and hurries to take a seat with Chewie and Poe on the other side of the fire. 

…

Ben doesn’t speak again the whole meal, lost in thought. And Finn doesn’t speak either. Ben knows Rose is right, that he should say something to boost their spirits- especially after his little outburst… 

Ben feels his cheeks heating up as his face falls in shame. He thought he was beyond those bursts of anger by now- now that he had changed. It scared him a little, even though he knew he would never again release his rage on another living creature. He was supposed to be different!

He was supposed to be better…

Finn stays with him after everyone has finished eating and cleaned up. Rose shoots him a few pointed looks before she leaves, but Ben ignores them. He’ll worry about that tomorrow. He’ll say something in the morning.

The night sky is surprisingly bright for such a windy, desolate place. It makes the whole snowy world beyond the cave’s entrance glow brilliant white. There a two moons above, in the cloudless and starless sky; and as they stare up at its emptiness, little wisps of purple and green lights begin to flicker in the heavens. 

For the first time, Ben glances over at Finn. His upturned face is lit only by the moons. His eyes glisten with purple and green lights. 

Slowly, Ben’s hand slides into his jacket pocket and he produces a cylindrical object wrapped in a scrap of cloth. “We didn’t get a chance to look at your lightsaber before”, he says, hanging it over. Finn hesitantly takes it and begins to unwrap the cloth and Ben watches his face closely. 

“I had sketched up the design a few days ago, but Chewie finished it just before Poe called in and we had to leave.” The cloth falls open and inside are two halves of the saber and a little pile of screws. Ben fishes something else out of his pocket and places it in Finn’s hand. 

The small Kyber crystal glows faintly in the dim light, responding to its master’s familiar touch. With a small smile on his face, Finn turns the crystal over and over in his palm. Ben shows him where it fits inside the hilt and then the two of them screw the two pieces together. 

Steadily, Finn holds it up to the light and the two men get their first good look at it. Fine craftmanship; Ben thinks. The hilt is a dark metal, with a little prong jutting off beside the open end. But the grip is made of a shiny white metal, wrapped halfway around the circumference of the saber, grooved for the fingers and slightly raised. The ignition switch is a little white square with three red, raised ridges across it. At the butt of the hilt, the saber tapers off into a rounded end made of white metal, ideal for hitting enemies in hand-to-hand combat. 

“Its beautiful”, Finn whispers after a long while. Giddy, he turns to Ben and they both grin. 

Then, carefully, Finn presses the ignition and his lightsaber ignites for the first time. The solid green blade buzzes pleasantly and he passes it from one hand to the other. He was right. It is truly is beautiful. 

And in the bright green glow, the two men gaze up and let a bit of worry and the tension from the day eases away into the stillness, until the comforting arms of sleep beacon them to their beds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you're still enjoying the story. If you are, please let me know and share your ideas and thoughts! Like who do you think Finn should end up with??
> 
> I was listening to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack while writing this chapter, so just imagine that playing in the background while you're reading. More action like this coming again soon!


	16. The Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost reluctantly, he hands it over. In the short time he’s had it, he’s grown attached to it, so it’s weird seeing it someone else’s hands. Poe looks to Finn for a nod before igniting it. “Wow…” Poe whispers, starring up into the bright green. But Finn is watching his friend’s beautiful face, lighting up with soft light and wonder. 
> 
> Poe sighs, handing the lightsaber back to Finn, who extinguishes the blade and sets it aside. “I’m really proud of you, you know”, Poe says. Wrapping an arm around Finn’s back, he claps his shoulder good-naturedly. “It’s kinda hard to believe how far we’ve come since that day when I rescued you off that Star Destroyer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you pay attention to that sort of thing, I've changed the chapter count again. I'm fairly certain I've got it now and it will be 24 chapters.

Ben is the last to wake the next morning. It’s the cold that has driven everyone out of their tents and to the roaring bonfire at the center of the circle. But Ben is nothing if not stubborn, and he is in no hurry to see the others again after the way he acted yesterday. And besides, he’s a big guy and has always had a higher body temperature than most people, so he preserves as long as he can. 

But when he begins hearing the clinking of plates and spoons, he knows he can no longer delay the inevitable, and emerges from his tent. 

They try not to stare at him as he lumbers into their midst- that is, everyone but Rose, who is glaring daggers in his direction. Thanks Rose, he thinks. Real subtle…

“Excuse me, everyone…” He says, not quite loud enough. And then again, but this time, just a tad too forcefully. Inwardly cursing himself to oblivion, he clears his throat. “Can I please have your attention?” They all turn away from eating and their conversations to look at him. 

Well, now he has their attention. And now, he no longer wants it… 

“Listen, first of all, I wanted to apologize for the way”- he chooses his words very carefully- “I reacted to our defeat yesterday.” He notices Rose wince and realizes he probably shouldn’t have called it that. But hurriedly, he shoulders on. “And yes, I did say defeat. That’s what it was. They beat us; plain and simple. It seems we- I underestimated them.”

For a long moment, he lets that sink in. Hours of watching his mother practice her speeches for Senate meetings, when he was a little boy, might actually be paying off. “But I won’t make that mistake again. Because, we will fight them again- but this time we can’t afford to lose. We know what we’re up against now, and we now know the way Rey has been destroying these Sources.”

He slowly searches the faces around the fire. And without meaning to, a bit of emotion seeps into his voice. “I have faith that we can do this… if we work together. I’m not planning on giving up anytime soon, so I hope you won’t either.” His heart flutters and then cracks a little when he sees the various members of their group nod their heads in agreement. And just like that, the energy in the camp has shirfted. 

Ben cracks a small smile. Then he notices that everyone is still looking at him, and rushes to say, “That’s all I had to say. Back to your breakfast.” Before he can move to get his own meal, Rose is at his side, grinning up at him with a large plate of spiced sausages and berry-cream soup. 

She hands it over and he bows his head in appreciation. Why is everyone being so nice and forgiving; he can’t decide is it’s going to give him a headache or make him start crying. 

“Not bad, Ben.” She nudges him with an elbow, then turns to go. 

For a second, he just grins down into his plate like an idiot, then jerks his head up and says, “Hey! When did you start calling me that?” 

“When you decided to take my advice”, she calls back.

They eat all huddled around the fire. Even after the others have finished, they linger, turning to warm their backsides as well at their fronts. In the middle, Poe shoulders through with a report on the injured man. Thankfully, he’s feeling much better and there won’t be any need to send him to a more advanced medical facility. Then Poe wants to know the plan. 

Ben had stayed up late last night figuring out the logistics. They’re at a much greater advantage this time. First off, they’re all already here. The only thing that they need to do is have a lookout on site at all times, to sound the alarm. Another thing that helps, is that this Source is located inside a building, so they’ll have better cover than out in the open. The only thing they need to be sure of is that they get there before Rey does. 

Ben suggests everyone split up into teams of two, for watch duty. They’ll have scheduled shifts throughout the day, so everyone can get enough rest. 

Connix and Beaumont had gone out in the early hours of the morning to check on things, finding the temple is still sealed. So, they’ll be partners. Poe claims Finn right away, saying, “We haven’t gotten to spend any time together since Solo became your new best friend.” To which, everyone laughs and Ben and Finn both roll their eyes. 

Poe’s two remaining friends pair up. And so that leaves Ben with Rose and Chewie. Not his ideal pick- he feels more comfortable around Finn than Rose, but he’ll take it.

So, it’s decided. Poe and Finn will go out as soon as they get packed up and take the afternoon shift. Poe’s friends will take night. And then, Rose, Chewbacca, and Ben will relieve them in the early morning. 

A little while later, Finn and Poe set out on speeders toward the temple, which is just visible in the distance, a little dark lump on the expanse of all that snow. When lunch time comes, he helps prepare the meal and then scarfs down his food as quickly as he can, before running to the Falcon to pack his bag. 

It’s high time he gets a good look at that temple! 

Gliding across the plane of snow on a speeder is one of the strangest and most exhilarating experiences he’s ever had. Feji is, by far, the coldest place he’s ever been. The snow sprays up around him, covering him and the speeder; and even through his cap, hood, and goggles, the freezing air stings like the tips of hot needles. This is the only time, he might be glad to have his old mask on. 

The two men are sitting outside when he glides up, both huddled together under the small overhang where the door is frozen shut. The building is made of a combination of stone and some dark wood, and layer upon layer of ice and snow that has fused with the building itself, turning it into a disfigured hump in the snow drifts and cracking the rotting wood. The large door at the front, apparently the only entrance- there are no windows- is covered with its own sheet of thick ice. 

“What are you doing here”, Poe yells from under his coat. “It can’t be time to change shifts already. Is something wrong?!” 

“No, no.” Ben waves him off. Reluctantly, he tugs off both gloves to run his fingers along the outline of the door. “I just wanted to see if I could get inside.” He smirks. “And looks like you guys might want to get out of the wind.” 

Even before he’d arrived, he’d felt a strong energy coming from this place. The Mosenthen Diamond- whatever that may be- must be inside. Now, as he presses his palms to the soggy wood, he feels the Force rippling even stronger beyond. But how to get inside…

He could force a hole in the wall using the Force. But there’s no telling how an old stable a structure like this is after all this decay; it could collapse. No, he needs to get this door open somehow. 

Tentatively, he presses with the Force. But he can already hear the boards around the frame creaking and crackling. Then a brilliant solution occurs to him. In one movement, he brandishes his lightsaber from his pocket and ignites it. Poe and Finn watch with wide eyes as Ben carefully traces the door’s outline and then gives a gentle push before it falls inward.

“Don’t tell me it was that easy”, Finn groans, “And I had a lightsaber this whole time!” 

Ben smirks at them, just a bit satisfied with himself. He motions them inside, bowing. “After you.” 

All three men make their way carefully inside. It’s dark as midnight in there, with no lights or windows, so Ben lights his saber and leads the way. They start out in a narrow corridor that branches out into to two hallways to the right and left; but straight ahead, is a set of double doors, which they open. There’s another longer hallway beyond and then another set of doors; these even larger. 

As soon as Ben pushes them open, they’re hit with a dazzlingly bright, white-blue light. Momentarily blinded, they advance into a huge, round chamber with tall ceilings. Great pillars hold up the roof around the outer edge of the room, and in the center, is the source of the light. 

It’s a… crystal? That’s the best word Ben can think to describe it. It’s massive- maybe fifteen feet long and five feet in circumference. But it’s split into two conjoined columns; one straight up and down, the other at a diagonal, joined at the base. Somehow the surface is clear while also cloudy, and though he can see right through it, it still lets off a blinding glow. 

Awestruck, they walk towards it. Ben is mesmerized- but also curious. What is it exactly? What does it do? Or like the Eye of Oopen, does it have no function beyond containing Force energy? 

“Don’t touch it!” He says suddenly. And Poe yanks his hand back, cradling it against his chest. 

Tucking away his saber, Ben leans in and runs his gaze over the surface of the crystal. It’s not smooth like he’d anticipated, but course with tiny grooves and chips. Ever so slowly, he presses his fingertips to the surface.

“Hey, YOU’RE touching it!” Poe exclaims. 

“Yup.” 

Ben had expected it to be solid and dry, but its as cold to the touch as the ice on the outside of the temple, and moist. But it’s definitely not ice! The luminescent material seems to be suspended in a state somewhere between ice and rock- between solid and liquid. Maybe more like glass? 

“Fascinating”, he mutters to himself. 

While he continues to check it out, Poe and Finn go explore the rest of the structure. There are doors leading off the main room. And when they return to the main room, they report that the rest is mostly hallways and closets, and two underground rooms full of rubble. They also found the control panel for the lights in the hallways.

Then the two of them go and sit on a flat slab of stone in the corner of the room and leave Ben to his inspecting. 

… 

“So… Rose told me about your new powers.” Poe says, digging around in his satchel and producing one of the snack bars they’d packed for lunch and dinner. And, of course, he immediately digs in. “How you saved her and threw that guy like ten feet.”

“Oh… yeah…” Finn replies, a little shy all of a sudden. Starring down at his toes, he rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t even really mean to. Its not a big deal…”

Poe guffaws at him. “Not a big deal?! Are you kidding me? That’s amazing! You’re like a real Jedi now!” 

“Oh, no! I’m not a Jedi. I’m not anywhere near that yet- trust me.” 

But Poe just rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I think it’s huge! I mean, you’re really using the Force now, just like you always wanted.” He shifts closer and bumps Finn with his shoulder, making him blush. Damn him! This man always knows how to coax a smile out of him. “And you’ve got a lightsaber!”

“Well, that’s true… It is pretty sweet.”

“That reminds me; I haven’t seen it yet!” Poe makes the grabby fingers toward his friend. “Can I see it?” Carefully, Finn fishes the mystic weapon out of his bag. He’s not actually supposed to use it, so he doesn’t keep it on his belt. He takes care not to accidently push the ignition switch as he pulls it out. 

Almost reluctantly, he hands it over. In the short time he’s had it, he’s grown attached to it, so it’s weird seeing it someone else’s hands. Poe looks to Finn for a nod before igniting it. “Wow…” Poe whispers, starring up into the bright green. But Finn is watching his friend’s beautiful face, lighting up with soft light and wonder. 

Poe sighs, handing the lightsaber back to Finn, who extinguishes the blade and sets it aside. “I’m really proud of you, you know”, Poe says. Wrapping an arm around Finn’s back, he claps his shoulder good-naturedly. “It’s kinda hard to believe how far we’ve come since that day when I rescued you off that Star Destroyer. Just a confused Stormtrooper and now you’re practically a Jedi.”

“Hang on!” Finn shrugs out from under Poe’s arm and manages to jab an elbow into his side. “I think you’re remembering it wrong. I was the one who rescued you, remember?” 

“No, no, no. It’s you who’s remembering it wrong.” Smirking from under his curly locks, Poe folds his arms and puffs his chest out. 

Finn narrows his eyes. No way is Poe getting away with this one! “See, I’m the one who got you out of that cell in the first place. So, I rescued you.”

Across the room, he hears a muffled bang and then a louder groan; before he sees Ben pop up on the other side of the giant crystal, rubbing the back of his head and musting his hair. He must have bumped it while poking around down there. Finn only sighs. It’s not like there’s any use; they already know there’s no special properties to the hunk of glass. 

Poe is still shaking his head. Taking a deep breath, as if exasperated, Poe swivels his body around to face him. “No. Because you only got me out of there because you needed a pilot. I would have just broken out on my own eventually and flew away. Whereas you, would be stuck.”

“Now wait a minute. There’s no WAY you could’ve gotten out of that cell if it weren’t for me. And you never would have even made it to the hangar bay. That place was crawling with Troopers!”

Poe uncrosses his arms and huffs. “No see, that’s where you’re clearly wrong. I’d gotten out of a lot worse before you came along. But I saved you from the First Order. I would’ve escaped regardless, but you wouldn’t have even tried to run away unless I’d been there.”

“That’s not true. I would’ve still tried to leave!” This had all just been playful banter, but now, he’s determined to make a point. The day comes to memory like it was yesterday. They’d just arrived back from that one fateful mission to Jakku, where his life had changed forever. He remembers the terror, the innate wrongness of the whole thing, the way he’d been nauseous the whole way back and nearly puked in his helmet when they were home. To this day, he can still hear those villagers’ screams…

“Then why didn’t you try to escape before?” Poe says, leaning back to observe Finn’s face. His brow creases a little when he notices his friend’s expression. “If you had a reason, why did you wait all that time?” 

“I did have a reason.” He replies. “I told you, remember? I had just gone on my first mission. My fellow Stormtroopers had massacred an entire village. My only friend, FN-2003, had just died in my arms. As soon as I returned to the command shuttle, I was ready to get out of there! You just happened to be there. And I just happened to rescue you.” Poe’s eyes narrow and Finn knows he’s won- at least, temporarily.

“Ok hotshot”, Poe sighs. “I guess you did rescue me… You win.” Playfully, he blinks up at Finn through his lashes, making the other man get all hot in the face. “My hero! How will I ever repay you?” Finn rolls his eyes and shoves Poe away, but then he’s right back leaning on Finn again. 

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.” And even as he casts his friend a side-eye, he leans further into Poe’s touch. “I’ll let you know when I have something good.” Technically, he already has plenty of good ideas- but he would never tell Poe that. He can almost imagine the look of horror on Poe’s face when he realized how many times a day he thinks in detail about those pouty, sinful lips. 

“It’s kind of crazy to think about…” Poe says suddenly, pulling Finn out of his wandering thoughts; which is good because he’d just about started daydreaming again. “…how you and I were on opposite sides back then. How on that day on Jakku, we were fighting.” Finn turns to look at his friend, sitting up a little straighter. He hadn’t really thought about it before. “I mean”, Poe continues, “I was the only one who was there, fighting all those stormtroopers, besides the villagers. Well, and Lor San Tekka was there too… but then he got captured… and then he got killed- by-… 

Suddenly, Poe’s voce fades away, and his gaze slowly swivels round to where Ben is still examining the pillar, nose practically pressed to the grooved surface. Oh… right. Of course, it had been Kylo who had killed him. 

They both quickly tear their eyes away, before Ben can notice them starring. Awkwardly, their gazes fall and Finn fixes his eye on the toe of his boot. “Yeah… maybe it's better to not talk about the past…” 

“Maybe you’re right.” The silence in the huge room is all-encompassing, aside from the sound of Ben’s shoes and little grunts as he crawls around. The seconds stretch as both men search for a way to shift to a less uncomfortable subject. “But we can talk about the future!” Poe says. 

The future. Finn feels his heart begin to race. What does this mean? Does it mean Poe is finally ready to have the talk that they’ve been needing to have since that time they almost kissed?

Without missing a beat, Poe jabs his shoulder into Finn’s playfully. “Like how I’m gonna find a chance to rescue YOU. So, then I can say that I did.”

“I thought you were going to say, so you could make it up to me.”

“Oh no.” Dismissively, Poe waves a hand. “No, I’m going to find something much better for that. Just you wait and see.” 

“Oh, I can’t wait.”

And now, Finn is blushing again. Because Poe is leaning in really close… and he’s got this look in his eye. Is he- is Poe flirting with him? Poe’s eyes flicker down for just a half second and his grin broadens. Did he just look at Finn’s lips? Are they really about to do this now- in front of Solo?!

“Hey!” And speaking of the devil… Ben has apparently finished his very important investigation and is choosing this exact moment to yell at him. 

Neither Finn nor Poe moves. They’re still in the moment, poised just on the edge. If Solo would just walk away, they might… 

He doesn’t. He yells across the room again, “Hey Finn!” 

Taking a deep breath and trying his very best not to throttle his Force instructor, Finn pulls back a little and growls an annoyed, “Yes!”

Ben plants both hands on his hips and he narrows his eyes. “Hey, don’t you think it would be more respectful if you addressed me as ‘Master’, Padawan?” Pinching the bridge, Finn in deeply through his nose. 

I swear to the Maker!

Leaning back to grin up at him as he stands, Poe flutters his lashes and leans in the whisper, “Yeah, Finn. Don’t you think you better call him… Master…” Not in the least bit mad, and just a little bit turned on, Finn shoots his friend a look before stalking over to his extremely agervating, cock-blocking teacher.

“Yes, Master?” Finn replies, in the most sarcastic tone he can muster. 

“I figured this would be a good time to work on your saber play.”

“Now?”

“Well if I’m not interrupting your very busy schedule.” Ben replies in a tone that is designed specially to aggravate him. 

“With the real thing?” Finn asks, noticing Ben doesn’t have those wooden sticks they used to spar before with him. 

“Ah, ha, ha, no. We’ll start out with some training sabers and then IF I feel you’re ready, we might try with the lightsabers later.” Out of his pocket, Ben produces two little metal cylinders. Those turn out to be the handles and when he thrusts them out to his sides, a tube slides out from the inside; making two blunt metal training sabers. “I thought we could use these.”

“Why?” Finn cocks a brow, eyes glittering. “You scared?” 

Ben laughs out loud. So loud, in fact, it startles Poe who gapes at him from where he’s watching on the sidelines. He’s probably never seen or heard such a thing from Solo before. “Scared? No. Only scared that you’ll try something crazy and hurt yourself.”

Standing several feet apart, both men take their stances- Ben continues starring at Finn’s foot util he realizes and corrects his position. Nodding, Ben begins, striking first and letting his pupil start out on the easier defensive. 

Poe watches from the corner as the two spar. Occasionally, he’ll clap or hoot when Finn does something mildly good, but he mostly ends up just eating the rest of their food. 

After a while, their blades lock and Ben leans in to mutter, “I know you’re trying to impress your boyfriend, but you need to focus. I don’t know if I can go any easier on you than I already am.”

“I- he’s not-! I AM focusing!” Finn can feel his cheeks flaming. Frantically, he glances over his shoulder to make sure Poe didn’t hear. 

“Really? Could’ve fooled me. I really thought something was going on between you two.”

Finn is not going to respond to that! Honestly, he had thought so too- and yet, Poe still hasn’t made a move! “You know, one of these days, I’ll be just as good as you are. And then, I won’t need you anymore.” Suddenly, he thrusts Ben back with his false saber and a little nudge from the force. Then he reaches out and calls his real lightsaber to his hand. 

He raises his brows, watching Ben carefully, then tilts his head- asking for permission. Ben narrows his eyes and Finn says, “Scared?” 

In response, Ben unhooks his own saber and ignites it. “Not on your life.” And they begin, with a shower of sparks. “Oh and, you’ll never be as good as me. Not even in a million years.” 

“You sure about that? Maybe I’ll just work harder.”

“I won’t matter what you do.” Ben swirls his saber playfully. “I’ve always been better than the other Force-users, no matter how many there were. Back at the Jedi academy, I was my Uncle’s prodigy.”

“And what about Rey?” Finn asks through teeth gritted in effort. 

Ben meets his thrust and spins, nearly knocking Finn’s weapon out of his hand and making his wrist bend awkwardly. “Well, we’re equal. But she’ll always be more powerful than you, too. But that’s only because of the Dyad. That’s what makes us both stronger.”

The fight doesn’t last much longer; mostly because Finn is getting tired and Ben wants to search the temple before he goes back for dinner. Poe claps when they finish and all the way until Finn returns to his seat beside him. “Great job, Buddy. Maybe you’ll figure out a way to beat him by the time you’re seventy.” 

…

After dinner that night, back in the cave, Ben sits down on an old crate by the opening; his back to the fire and face toward the moons. He takes out his borrowed holopad and decides to try reading some novels downloaded from the holonet, to keep himself occupied. Since he has watch early in the morning, he probably should be getting ready for bed, but it’s not like he’s going to get much sleep anyway. 

No matter how small, after sleeping with Rey beside him, his bed always feels too empty without her.

Most of the others have retied to their tents or ships, but the trio of Rose, Finn, and Poe are huddled together around the fire talking. Ben is just within hearing range of them and though they’re trying to be quiet, their laughter and snippets of their conversation echo around the cave. 

Ben should be focusing on his novel, but they’ve caught his attention. Finn is seated in the middle with Poe and Rose on either side. Its intimate. It looks nice, comforting. He watches Rose pass a small flask to Poe and then the three of them giggle. Ah, looks like someone smuggled in some alcohol, and now they’re getting a bit tipsy. 

“Poe, you shouldn’t have.” Finn says. “What if Rey came right now and we were drunk?”

Biting back a giggle, Poe raises the flask and replies, “Then we can offer her some. Seems like she could use a drink.” 

Finn tries to remain serious, but then leans into Poe as he whispers, “Maybe someone should get Solo a drink too. He’s starting to act like a ninety-year-old man with a stick up his ass.” They all guffaw at each other, then burst into suppressed giggles. Obviously, they don’t realize he can hear them. Ben rolls his eyes, though he does feel the corners of his lips curling upwards. 

“We should get them both drunk”, Rose whispers loudly, “Then they could work out their problems.” She snickers. “Imagine seeing them both drunk!” The group laughs again, and Rose keeps snorting, so that Finn has to lean over and put his hand on her mouth to keep her quiet. 

Then something strange happens. Finn doesn’t immediately pull back; instead, their eyes lock and they share a heated stare. Finn’s gaze flickers to her lips for just a moment, before he blushes and straightens up. 

Interesting… It seems Poe is not the only one on Finn’s mind. And Poe notices. “You probably wouldn’t want to see that.” He says after a minute of heated silence. They’d probably be super horny and start humping before they could even get into a tent.”

“Poe!” Finn and Rose both cry.

He holds up his hands in defense. “What? You know it’s true. Did you guys not see them at the firepit that night?” 

“Oh, we all saw it.” Finn chuckles. “Even Chewie saw it! That’s why I needed to stay at your place that night. And I normally would not do that, because your sofa is so damn uncomfortable.”

“Well, I did offer to share the bed…” Poe smirks at Finn, biting his lip. “But you got so flustered I thought you were going to explode. Huffing indignantly, Finn shakes his head. “What? I was just being chivalrous!”

“Oh, I’m sure you were just being chivalrous, Poe! Is that what they call it these days?

Poe gasps, offended. “Rose, don’t laugh! Listen, Finn! If I had actually wanted to get you into bed, I would have used something much more seductive. And it would’ve worked too!”

“Oh yeah? You sure about that?” Finn’s eyes flicker dangerously with firelight. Either the drink or the liquor is turning his cheeks red, making him bold. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Well I’m not!” 

Placing his hand on Finn shoulder, Poe leans in and licks his lips. “Oh, Finn. You have no idea what I am capable of.” Finn raises his eyebrows in a challenge, and then Poe says, “Because you wouldn’t know how to seduce anybody.”

It’s Finn’s turn to be mock offended. “How rude!” His words slur. “I can seduce! I could seduce both you if I tried.” The tension in the air is immediate. Both Rose and Poe are looking at Finn, but then their eyes flicker to each other. Something passes between them; and Ben thinks, they know. 

“You think you could handle both at the same time?” Rose jokes. “Go ahead then.”

“Well, I’m not going to because I don’t think you could handle ME!” They laugh again and then Rose shushes the other two. Ben can’t make out their conversation anymore, but he’s heard enough. 

So, Finn likes both of them… But someday he’s going to have to make a choice. How strange to be in that position- to have the pick between two people. Ben has never had that option before, but he remembers a little from his days at the Jedi academy when the other students were gossiping and sneaking out at night, while he was worrying about the dark voice inside his head. All that drama! 

He wonders, belatedly, if Rey’s ever been in that position. Had there ever been someone before him? They haven’t really had the chance to talk about these things, but he wishes he knew. How would her life have turned out if she’d never met him; just settled down with a random man and lived a normal life? 

Probably not on the throne of the Sith. And yes, probably better off. The hatred he feels for this phantom man, who get to hold her and give her children and sleep in their imaginary bed, is unimaginable. 

No. He can’t do this to himself. Even before the moment they met, there had never been anyone else for him but her. Destiny and the Force had willed it so. And there could never be anyone else for her but him.

He wishes she was here- not even to kiss or sleep together- but just to feel her warm beside him. He remembers the one evening they’d had together; how her eyes had sparked in the firelight and her fingers had ghosted over his knee, before taking his hand. He wishes she could take it now, just for a moment. If she was here, they would laugh together at her friends drunken conversation. 

But still… a thought has caught in his head and he begins to wonder. If she had been in a situation where she had to choose between him and someone else, would she still pick him? Maybe she already had. He’s pretty sure Finn had feelings for her at one point. Did she already choose him over Finn?

She hadn't chosen him over the Dark Side or her own personal crusade... 

All this is making Ben’s brain hurt and only making him more depressed and lonely. He shouldn’t be thinking about her- not when she’s so far away, in body and spirit. But he knows, as he walks to his tent and falls into bed, that he’ll be thinking about her late into the night, and she’ll be in his dreams, and on his mind when he wakes. 

“Goodnight, Rey”, he whispers, “I’ll see you soon.” 

If only he had known just how soon it would be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that is correct. Ben is actually just a huge nerd. I don't make the rules. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Let me know if you liked it. :)


	17. The Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But before Finn realizes this, its already too late; they’ve been pushed too far inside the other hall and there’s no way they’re getting around the four hulking men with pointy weapons in their hands.  
> That leaves only one option.  
> “Run?” Asks Poe.  
> “Run”, Finn agrees, and the pair turns heal and dashes into the dim corridor beyond.  
> They’ve only really explored this part of the temple once before, so they don’t really know where they’re going. Good thing there’s only one option, which is forward, wherever the maze of hallways leads.The hallway ends abruptly, and they’re met with a wall and a small pitch-black hole in the ground with a ladder poking up through.  
> Finn and Poe look at each other for just a moment- which is all they have- and then dive in.

Chewbacca wakes them well before dawn. It’s colder than Ben could’ve imagined, without the fire lit, crawling out into the semi-darkness of the cave. As Ben assembles his gear, Chewie tries his best to wake Rose by calling to her as softly as he can from outside her tent; but then he gives up and reaches in to shake her awake, resulting in some very angry grumbling. 

Apparently she, like Ben himself, doesn’t much care for mornings and is probably suffering from drinking with her friends all hours into the night. Muttering to herself, she sluggishly gathers her things and the three head out. 

It’s even colder outside, on the speeders, despite their many layers. They’re so relieved to find shelter that they jump from their speeders the moment they skid to a stop in front of the temple and rush inside. Poe’s two friends- Ben can never remember their names- leave with a simple greeting, looking tired after a long night keeping watch. 

Chewie offers to keep lookout from the doorway- one of them has to do it- and watch the skies for a big black ship. He jokes that he has no idea how naked and miserable it must be to not have fur covering their bodies to keep warm, but he sure wouldn’t want one of those tiny bodies. Then bustles off to sit just inside the outer doorframe. Meanwhile, Ben and Rose take a seat inside the large inner chamber. 

At first, they attempt a conversation. They discuss strategy, and what the best scenarios for fighting inside the building when Rey arrives would be. Ben is impressed at her extensive knowledge on the subject, but she merely comments, “I spent a lot of time studying under your mom during that year after Crait”. 

After a while, the talking peters off into a comfortable, drowsy silence. Rose looks absolutely exhausted and Ben isn’t really in the mood for polite small talk, so they sit closely together for body heat, on the large stone slab in the corner of the room and relax for a while. 

Ben lets his mind wander but soon he notices Rose nodding off. She slumps over and then rights herself. He is just starting to daydream again when he feels a pressure against his shoulder, and finds Rose leaning on him with the tip of her head on his shoulder. 

Ben freezes. Alarms blare inside his head as he tries to think, WHAT IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! 

He could nudge her awake and then pretend nothing had happened… Or he could extricate himself from under her and run away! 

But after a few deep breaths, he’s able to relax again and decides he doesn’t really mind. He’ll let her sleep; it’s the least he can do. And, after all, the body heat is kind of nice. 

But it’s strange for him. He hasn’t really been touched by- or touched anyone but Rey in what seems like forever. It would probably be no big deal to Rose if she woke up and found she was leaning on him, but to him it is a big deal. And it makes him feel oddly comforted and somehow warm inside- that has nothing to do with the extra body heat.

He lets her sleep until well into the morning, when she finally awakens and immediately goes searching for the breakfast they’d packed. As he’d figured, she doesn’t even comment on it. After taking a bowl to Chewie, Rose and Ben eat together on the ground beside the icy crystals: The Mosenthen Diamond. 

They stay there until Connix and Beaumont arrive for their shift and the threesome returns on their speeders for what looks to be an uneventful afternoon in the cave.

…

Of course, it would be the freezing ice planet that she’d be stuck on the longest, and who knows when they’ll actually get to leave! Not that she’s really complaining- because what they’re doing is important… but couldn’t they have gotten to do it someplace else, someplace just a little warmer?! 

Leaning against the wall just inside the last section of hallway before the double doors of circular main room, Connix lets her mind wander as it pleases. Being the wonderful- if not a little reluctant- gentleman that he is, Beau had agreed to take the post at the outer door, while Connix got stay inside the slightly warmer temple. They’d decided the leave all the doors open, so the light from the bright mid-day sun shines lazily through the doorway behind her and casts a shadow across the ground, and Connix extends her hand, swirling it in the sunbeams. 

She has always hated the cold, ever since she was a child. It probably has something to do with the fact that she spent a few years of her childhood on a planet very similar to this, with her uncle and aunt while they did research, and hated every minute. It may also slightly be caused by the fact that when she was fifteen, she accidently locked herself inside a giant walk-in freezer and nearly froze to death before her mother found her… 

…but she really does not like to think about that. 

Connix shivers. Anyway, the sooner they can get off this ice hunk of a planet, the better! 

But that also means they’ll have to face Rey again, which is something she is not anxious at all to do. Poor Rey… It had been so horrible seeing her like that! During her time in the resistance, Connix had thought she’d gotten to know Rey pretty well, but turns out, maybe not so much. From being the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine, to falling in love with Kylo Ren; it was just-…

A sound in the corridor at her back. The scuff of a boot on the rough sandy floor. Beaumont must be coming to-

It’s her. It’s Rey! 

Connix had only had time to turn before Rey and a large group of her minions are filling the hallway and her only exit.

Everyone freezes. Starring up into Rey’s golden-tinged eyes, Connix hardly dares breathe. Where is Beau? How did they sneak past him?! Did they hurt him?! She thinks all this in a split second, but then her mind settles on one thing. 

She has to call the others; she has to warn them! 

The seconds slip by in silence. They seem to be waiting on her, waiting for her to make the first move. But she can’t! She feels frozen in fright. If she moves toward the small portable comms unit on the floor just inside the inner chamber, Rey will be on her in a moment. But she also can’t just stand here forever, and she doubts Rey has the patience… The corner of Rey’s mouth lifts slightly as she watches, as if she can see the wheels turning in Connix’s head. As if she knows she’s already won…

Just then, there’s a noise at the far end of the corridor. A loud exclamation. “Hey what’s-!” It’s Beau. He’s alive; thank the Maker! But he’s also distracted Rey, and Connix takes advantage of it. 

She dives for the double doors leading to the main chamber, and manages to throw one open and hurl herself through before Rey has noticed. But a second later, Connix hears her roar from outside, and with a push with the Force, the doors come crashing inward and fall to the ground. 

Connix has the coms unit in her hands, though they’re shaking so bad that she can barely push the button. “Rose, Finn, someone, come in! She’s here! Rey’s in the-!” Suddenly, there’s a sharp cry and then a loud thud; and Connix turns just in time to see her husband being throw into the wall by Rey’s outstretched hand. Connix cries out as his body slumps to the ground, but then she’s turning back to the com. 

“Help”, she cries. Rey has turned away from tossing away Beaumont, who’d tried to attack her from behind, and toward Connix. “Hurry! She’s here!” She’s just had time to deliver her last message before the com is wrenched from her hand and smashed into a thousand pieces under the heel of Rey’s beskar-toed boot. 

“Hello, Connix”, Rey says, speaking softly but sternly. “I really don’t want to hurt you, so I need you to sit down and keep out of the way while I do what I have to do. Then I’ll be done and out of here before there’s any unnecessary bloodshed. I think you can agree that’s best option for all of us.” 

Connix doesn’t reply, only stares back with chin raised. Then prodded by the guards, Connix walks over and kneels with her back against the wall, while Rey’s keen, clever eyes track her every move. Connix raises her hands as a show of good faith and finally raises her gaze to Rey’s. “Please, Rey”, she murmurs. “You don’t need to do this.”

With a heavy sigh, Rey rolls her eyes. “Why does everyone always say that!?” She’s turning away now, striding toward the Crystals. “Do you think I’d be doing this if I didn’t have to? Of course, I have to.” She tugs aside her midnight black, fur-lined cloak, to produce her lightsaber and snaps open the handle to full length. “But I can’t really expect you to understand, because you don’t know the Force like I do.” 

Suddenly, she stops in her tracks. Inhaling harshly, her eyes flicker up, as if she’s seeing beyond the walls of the crude building. Rey’s lips settle into a thin white line and her fist clenches too tight around her saber. “He’s here. I can feel him…”

She raises a hand, looking to her men. “All but fifteen of you, go out to meet them. Remember your orders! Don’t let them get past you!” The men, dressed in all black, with crude masks covering their faces, burst into action at her words, and Rey turns to the Mosenthen Diamond… “Sorry to have kept you waiting.” 

…

She’s here. He can sense her; like his own Force signature, like the feel of his saber in hand, he feels her through the Force. She’s confident- but annoyed. She had probably wanted to sneak in and destroy the Source without them noticing, but Connix and Beaumont had ruined her plan. 

Oh please, Ben thinks, I hope they’re alright; I hope she hasn’t done something we’ll all regret. 

Well, Rey’s annoyed, but Ben is too- and he’s angry. None of this is going to plan! They were supposed to have the upper hand on this one, to have seen her coming and been inside with the Diamond when she arrived. But now, she’s a step ahead again!

Grinding his teeth, Ben leads the way up to the snow-covered steps of the temple. Rey’s ship is parked right beside it; casually, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. They’re on the second step when the door slams open with a bang, and a crowd of men in black fill the doorway. 

As they file out and fill the landing, Ben counts them. He’s surprised at how many there still are. It seemed like she’d lost quite a large number of cultists during their last encounter, but there really doesn’t seem to be a significant drop in number. And his crew is down one man- maybe three, if Connix and Beaumont have been injured…

The two groups stop and survey each other. They’ve probably been ordered not to attack first, and Ben takes the time attempt to come up with a plan. He has a feeling, they’ve been ordered to target him specifically, just like last time. And his suspicions are confirmed when he starts off to the left and they immediately follow.

Placing his hands on Poe’s and Rose’s shoulders, Ben leans in a whispers to they all can hear. “Keep their attention while I sneak past them. Whatever you do, don’t let them catch me.” 

And then they’re charging, as one surging up into the tightly packed mass of cultists. Ben runs with them, pretending to be follow in attack, but at the last moment, he veers off to the right. Unfortunately, there are just too many of them, and of course, they notice him. 

Three have just stepped in front of him and another coming up behind when he halts for a second. Then, instead of charging them, he reaches out for the Force and jumps up over their heads, into the air, and catches hold on the edge of the temple roof. 

For a moment, Ben grins down at them as they gape at him. Then they begin to climb. Ben jerks back into action, grunting as he hauls himself onto the roof and begins scooting across one of the support beams, not trusting the ancient boards to hold up. 

If he can just get to the other side, he might be able to force his way in the back of the building. But a noise behind him alerts him that they’ve made it to the top. 

Damn, they’re fast climbers!

So instead of continuing across the roof, he draws his saber and thrusts it down to the hilt through the soggy wood and ice. With all his might, he drags the beam through the wood, but it’s not going to be fast enough. He’s halfway through the final side of the square when they’re behind him. And before he’s finished cutting the last few inches, both men tackle him; the roof gives way beneath their weight and all three go crashing to the floor of the temple. 

…

Outside, the small band- guided by Poe, form a line and advance on the horde of cultists, blasters blazing. The soldiers still haven’t managed to push around and surround them, which is what they were trying to do. But seeing that this isn’t going to work, they fall back on their original orders; don’t let anyone through to stop their mistress. So, the whole mass of them, squishes back into the doorway and corridor beyond and budge themselves inside; like a cork in a bottleneck, except they’re trying to keep something out instead of in. 

Poe, who is shoulder to shoulder with Finn, leans over a yells. “Maybe we can climb to the roof and get in the same way Solo did.” 

Squinting through the blinding winter sun at the roof, Finn shakes his head. “We could never get everyone up there before they catch us.” 

“Well, at least one or two of us might be able to make it.” Poe ducks as one of the cultists sends a rusty spear hurtling over his head. 

“Let’s go! You climb and I’ll watch your back!”

“No”, Poe says, clapping his hand firmly on Finn’s shoulder, “You’re the Jedi. I’ll cover you so you can get in and help Solo.” Suppressing the longing to launch himself at his friend and kiss him, Finn nods, and after whispering in Rose’s ear, the two break from the group, feet crackling loudly on the hard-packed snow.

Poe gives Finn a leg up so that he can begin shimmying up the corner support beam. And he’s almost halfway up the wall when a deep male’s voice issues a command from inside the temple doorway. They’ve been spotted. Finn begins climbing faster, until he realizes something is wrong. The soldiers are not coming after them, like he’d anticipated; they’re retreating, disappearing back inside the building. 

From below him, Poe glances up, face puzzled. “What’s going on?”

“They’re going back to help Rey!” Finn doesn’t so much slide down as fall, using the Force to cushion his landing, before taking off in the direction of the entrance. “If they surround her again, there’s no way any of us are getting to her! Come on!”

And then Poe understands, and he’s hurrying in after Finn, waving the others along behind. 

They catch the soldiers in the hallway outside the double doors of the inner room that houses the Mosenthen Diamond. Not even hesitating, Finn flies around the corner already blasting away, hitting several of the cultists in the back before they can turn around. 

But when they do, they look more pissed off than they’ve been yet. In a moment, Poe is at his elbow and they’re firing off round after round as fast as they can. Most of the cultists hang back to guard the door, while several dart forward to take care of their pesky new problem. 

They’re quick. And no one could say they aren’t highly trained. With calculated ease, they duck and dart between blasts, quickly crossing the hall and within striking distance. Slowly, they begin to edge Poe and Finn toward the hallway jutting off form this one, that leads down to the underground rooms. 

Just then, Rose, Chewie, and the others arrive. And the soldiers guarding the door take the opportunity to rush forward to meet them, effectively cutting Finn and Poe off from their friends. But before Finn realizes this, its already too late; they’ve been pushed too far inside the other hall and there’s no way they’re getting around the four hulking men with pointy weapons in their hands. 

That leaves only one option. 

“Run?” Asks Poe. 

“Run”, Finn agrees, and the pair turns heal and dashes into the dim corridor beyond. 

They’ve only really explored this part of the temple once before, so they don’t really know where they’re going. Good thing there’s only one option, which is forward, wherever the maze of hallways leads. 

Through the dim, sometimes flickering lighting, they run blindly, four angry Sith Cultists on their heels. Then the hallway ends abruptly, and they’re met with a wall and a small pitch-black hole in the ground with a ladder poking up through, leading down to one of the underground rooms. 

Finn and Poe look at each other for just a moment- which is all they have- and then dive in. 

Sensors trigger a few lights in the very corner of the room to flicker on. The rest is dark and musty. The room is rather large and the entire floor is strewn with large chunks of rubble and broken furniture. But there’s no time to take in the view because their chasers are clambering down the ladder behind them. 

Grabbing his arm, Poe pulls Finn over to the darkest corner and the two of them try to crouch behind a pile of rough chunks of stone. With his butt touching the back wall, Finn tries very hard not to think about the spiders and creepy crawlers that might be lurking in the dark, and focuses on keeping his breathing quiet. Not that they really think this will work for long. 

And sure enough, a moment later, one of the cultists is whipping out hand-held light and shining the beam directly at them. “Great plan, Poe.” 

Pressing closer to Finn, Poe rolls his eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”

“What do we do now?” Finn asks. The soldiers stare blankly at him from behind their masks, slowly stalking over the debris to their corner. 

“Why are you asking me? You just said my plans are terrible!” They’re getting closer and Finn is beginning to panic. He doesn’t much like the idea of dying, with his guts hanging out, in a deep, dark pit with spiders and roaches! “I don’t know! Start shooting and hope we knock out a couple before they get here.” Poe suggests. 

“Good enough for me.” And they both yank out their blasters and begin shooting blindly, filling the room with brilliant flashes and smoke. 

…

The moment he falls, he feels her eyes on him. And they’re the first things he sees when he shoves the man off his back and raises his head from the pile of dirt and broken boards. Wide and alert, starring at him where she stands before the crystals. Her hands are raised as if ready to strike. 

He’s startled her. She had not been expecting this…

Before he can move or speak, Rey is thrusting out a finger toward him. “Stop him!” She commands. And that’s when Ben see the line of guards protecting her in two semi-circles on each side. 

There are MORE!?

He tries to scramble to his feet, but the other cultist is still on his legs, and though he’s groaning and in no position to stop him, his fellow soldiers are; and they’re on him in a moment. It’s almost comical how outmatched he is. He might as well have come marching in with hands raised in surrender- for all the good it did him.

He should’ve just waited for the others. He hopes they’re on their way now, but he has a feeling they have plenty to deal with right now, on their own. 

He and Rey lock eyes across the room. 

Again, he’s struck with her beauty; draped in a dark cloak with coal under her eyes and eyes luminescent. Could it really have been just a few nights ago that he had been holding her in his bed- that he’d been inside her? But it’s all superficial, a mask to hide the damage underneath; and Ben knows all about that… 

Her cheeks are still hollow, and skin so paper thin is may as well be translucent. And the electricity burns are still there too, except they’re worse now; covering her entire neck in a web of blue, and marring the skin of both hands. Ben shudders when he notices her fingernails are singed black. It’s the increased use of the Force lightning! Its making it worse, and it will keep getting worse if she doesn’t stop. He wonders if, in the end, it could actually kill her. But looking at her face, he knows it certainly can.

“Ben…” Her voice is choked and uncertain. Then she seems to collect herself, and turns back to face the crystals, resuming her stance, arms raised.  
“Rey, stop!” He cries. It echoes around the room. Outside, the sounds of battle are growing closer. “Please…” Even though he’s surrounded, he can’t help struggling a bit- just to be a little closer to her. 

Rey doesn’t turn, but she her body goes stiff. She’s hears him, at least. “Please”, he moans, “At least listen to me. Let’s talk about this.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She still doesn’t turn, and it only infuriates him more! “I won’t fight you, Ben.”

“I don’t want to fight. I’ve never wanted that!” He’s straining at his bonds now, feet scrabbling uselessly on the ground. “But you gave me no choice.” Suddenly, he notices movement from the corner of the room, and finds Connix huddling on the ground beside an incapacitated Beaumont. They lock eyes across the room; hers are wide and terrified.

Ben grinds his teeth. What happened?!

“There is always a choice.” Rey says, turning slightly but still not making eye contact or letting down her guard. “You could have joined me and then this would all be over. Or at the very least, you could just stand down and let me do what I need to do.” She sounds exasperated; like she’s trying to make a petulant child see reason. 

“You know I can’t do that!” 

“Just like you know I won’t stop until my work is done.” She snaps. “But when it is, I think you’ll see that we’ll all be better off.” Desperation begins to set in. He can’t let this happen! He won’t! He just needs to find a way to get free.

“And you think I’ll just be waiting here when this is all over, ready to offer forgiveness, no matter what you’ve done?!” 

That- that had hurt. The moment she turns, he sees the pain- hot and stinging in her eyes. And he feels a twinge of it inside himself. Maybe he should feel sorry or regret it, but he’s too angry for that. 

Chest rising too quickly, Rey stares him down for a long moment. Perhaps she’s waiting for an apology; she won’t get one. And yet, it feels like an eternity, because it still hurts so much so see her in pain. 

Swallowing, she closes her eyes for a moment, and when they open again, they’re no longer angry or hurt. Just a little sad. “Just like I was for you, Ben?”

It has the desired effect. It hits him like a slap to the face. A reminder of what he was- of what he’s done. She has never brought it up before, knowing how far he wants to stay away from all that stuff from his past; but now, she’s thrown it right in his face. 

And for the first time, he’s forced to think about what comes after this nightmarish war of theirs. No matter who wins or what happens, is there realistically a version of this where they can still be together? That had seemed impossible back before he’d become himself again. But they were fighting a much bigger war- one that didn’t really belong to them. Now- it seems so personal…

Starring across at her, there’s a part of him that wants nothing but to throw himself at her feet and beg her to just come home. But there’s an even bigger part that knows that’ll never happen. So, he bites back his anger, his frustration. He refuses to say anything more to tear them further apart. Whatever more damage is done, will be on her conscience. 

All of a sudden, through the haze of their locked eyes, Ben notices another movement from the corner. And before he can react, Connix is running at Rey and launching herself in the air, taking advantage of the distraction. 

It’s futile though. Connix’s feet have just left the ground when Rey’s hand shoots out. Robes swirling, Rey catches her midair with an invisible hand and freezes her entire body with the Force. Ben gapes. He had no idea she even knew how to do that! 

But, of course, she’s had it done to her, and she’s also been inside his head. Whatever fighting techniques and knowledge about the Force she picked up in there; this could have been among it. 

Only now turning her head, Rey looks Connix up and down with distain. Then, she lowers the other woman back to the ground, and with a flick of her wrist, puts her to sleep. Connix immediately slumps to the ground, and Rey turns back to a stunned Ben, with a satisfied smirk. 

And that was my trick too! Ben thinks, a little indignantly, though he doesn’t really care. But he does care about Connix though, and what Rey’s done to her. He’s never seen her do something to another person without even blinking before, and that might scare him even more than the lightning does. 

“I see, you’ve even gotten Connix to trust you too”, Rey says, turning to glance at him. “I’m impressed.”

Ben holds back from commenting. He’s too upset to get into a verbal sparring match right now. Instead, he closes his eyes and digs deep, calling on the Force. He must find a way to escape. If he can just get to her- just touch her, it will change everything. 

Sighing, Rey turns back toward the Diamond. It’s glow lights up her eyes and sharp cheekbones with cold blue light. Then, without ceremony, she raises her hands and releases the lightning. 

It hits the crystal with a crack and a shockwave big enough to sway the cultists around him. Then, every hair on his body stands on end as the bolts of blue energy slowly begin to pierce their way through to the core. 

It is at that moment, the noises of fighting grow even louder behind the double doors and there’s several loud bangs, maybe even on the door itself. Though the lightning, Rey can’t hear it, but Ben can and he begins to summon his strength. 

Then suddenly, the doors bang open and a short woman with flowing back hair charges inside, followed by Chewbacca and Poe’s two friends. Rey’s concentration breaks and so does he flow of power. She turns, jaw dropping, to see Rose advance. Meanwhile, the cultists are distracted, and Ben takes this moment to shove out on all sides with a blast from the Force, launching himself over the rest of the crowd that haven’t been thrown to the ground. 

By this time, the rest of the army of cultist has arrived- greatly reduced in numbers- in the doorway behind Rose and Chewie. They immediately attack, but the men guarding Ben don’t know weather to chase after him or to help their comrades. 

Ben takes off running. It’s not far across the cavernous room; he’ll reach her in a second, and then finally- finally-

She senses him coming. She must have kept herself attuned to him this whole time, because even through the chaos, she feels him approaching. She whirls round, igniting her saber as she does. They’re only thirty feet apart. Twenty! Fifteen!

Then he attention flickers away, and before Ben can react, her saber is slicking straight though the base of one of the huge stone pillars holding the roof up, and it comes crashing down right in his path. 

He’s barely able to avoid crashing into it. The thing is so large that he can’t see over the top. And it’s cut him off form her completely, trapping him in the corner. But he can hear; and he knows Rey’s lightning has started up again. With a roar of frustration, Ben pulls both his and Finn’s lightsabers from his coat and ignites them.

No! She can’t win! Not this time. And she won’t!

Ben slashes down both blades in one stroke, slicing through the stone. Drawing on his rage, he hacks away at it, causing large chunks to crumble away. He just needs to make an opening wide enough for him to get through!

His muscles aren’t used to this, but his mind reverts very easily back to the old days when his anger would overtake him and he’d end up slicing a whole terminal or room on a star destroyer to pieces with his unstable red blade. And, for once, it serves him well; and he’s climbing through the hot stone to the other side. 

The force of her power hits him as soon as he’s through. There she stands, legs braced and arms extended; fingertips shooting blue lightning as she grunts through gritted teeth. This is the first time he’s seen Force lightning up close, and every hair on his body stands on end- but not just from the electric charge, but from what it is doing to the person he loves most in the world. 

It’s hurting her. Tears stream down her face and her entire body is shaking. He can see the lightning beneath her skin, he realizes; he can see it running through her pale fingers and out the ends, as the black from her nails slowly spreads further, to infect her fingertips. 

He has to help! And so, when he jumps, he’s not even thinking about the fate of the Galaxy or stopping her from destroying the Sources- just that he must make it stop her from hurting herself any more. 

He hurtles through the air, arms outstretched. She hasn’t felt him coming this time, but she does feel when his hands wrap around her shoulders and he throws her off her feet. Together, they fall. Rey’s stream of lightning has broken.

It’s over… 

But, while they’re still in midair, Rey manages to set her sights, one last time, on the Mosenthen Diamond… It seems to happen in slow motion. Rey flings out her arms and at the same time, blue sparks erupt from her fingers. They connect. Just one last shot is all it takes. And before they’ve even hit the ground, the shockwave hits, as the Diamond implodes, and they’re thrown across the temple.

…

The blaster is knocked from Finn’s hands. He can’t see a thing. His vision dances with the phantom blasts that had lit up the dark room only moments ago, as he stumbles backward into the wall.

At his side, Poe is still firing; but then he cries out, and the room goes quiet as a tomb. The only light in the room was damaged in the firefight, leaving them incomplete darkness. Through the darkness, Finn listens for a anything; the crunch of a boot or a heavy breath. But there’s nothing but silence. 

“Are you alright”, Finn whispers, reaching out for Poe and then colliding with him. Hands grope in the dark for a moment until they find each other’s hands. Instead of pulling away after finding the other, their fingers intertwine and pull them both closer. 

“Yeah… I just got hit in the arm a little bit when the blaster got knocked out of my hand. But it’ll be alright.” Poe replies, and his face is only inches away; so close Finn can feel his breath. After a moment of charged silence, Poe asks, “Do you think we got them all? I don’t hear any-.”

As if on cue, a groan echoes from the blackness, joined by the noise of someone scrambling to their feet. Heavy breathing. And then, a different groan, from a different direction. There are two of them. Whatever state they might be in, there are two cultists alive. 

A light, cracked and flickering, shines at the pair hiding in the corner, blinding them and making Finn shrink back. The tips of spears come at them from just beyond the source of the light. Slowly, with heavy breathing and groans of pain, they inch closer. 

“Well, if we don’t make it out of this, I just want you to know…” Poe begins, and Finn whirls to face him. “I did actually let you win that last game of Sabacc, because I really wanted to get done so I could go flying with BB-8.” 

With an indignant scoff, Finn rounds on his best friend. He almost let’s go of Poe’s hand, but the other man holds tight. “Really!? We’re about to die and that’s what you have to say to me!?!”

“No. Of course not.” Finn can imagine his wide playful grin even though he can’t see it very well. “I don’t think we’re about to die! I’m just waiting for you to come up with a brilliant plan and save me, just like you always do.”

“Oh so, NOW I’m the one who saved you?” 

Finn’s attention is suddenly ripped away from the man he’s currently head-over-heels in love with but also wants to kick in the shin; to the two cultists who are very close now. Finn can’t really see them behind the blinding light, but he sees the way they’re moving; unnaturally. They must be seriously injured. Maybe he and Poe can take them. If only he could think of something…

Something catches in the corner of his eye. A large chunk of rubble; only a dozen feet away off to his left. 

But then Poe is tugging on his hand, trying to pull Finn back to him. “Actually…” His tone has dropped and there’s now a serious note to it. “The truth is, you always save me. No matter what. You’re my best friend; the one person I feel safest around. You help me be strong, and you inspire me. You’re the one constant in my life these past years when I had nothing else…” 

Finn can’t quite breathe. He can’t believe this is happening! If he wasn’t so worried- about getting hurt, about losing Poe- he might even cry. 

“Finn”, Poe says, “You make me want to be the best version of myself I can be, and I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

There’s a long moment of silence, in which everything fades away, and Poe becomes his whole world. Only a breath apart, they gaze at each other. Finally, finally, this is happening; and there’s no way Finn is going to lose him now. 

“How bout that? Was that better?” Poe asks, breathlessly. 

A slow smile spreads across Finn face, his arm instinctively encircling Poe’s waist. With the twitch of his fingers, the boulder he’d noticed before goes sailing through the air and crushes the two Sith cultists in one motion. 

He grins. “Yes. That was much, much better…” And then he pulls Poe in for a kiss. And without hesitation, Poe kisses him back; warm and soft and just like he’d always imagined. 

He would be content to stay here forever, with Poe’s strong arms holding him close and his body flush against his. But after a few seconds, Poe reluctantly pulls back just enough to look him in the eye. “As much as I’d like to keep doing this, I think maybe we’d better…” He motions vaguely in the direction of the stairs. 

“Yeah… uh, probably should…”

…

There’s a humming in his ears. Smoke. Dust. Chunks of… something- maybe stone or wood- all around; on top of him.

And under him- 

Warmth. She moves and he shifts off of her, unwrapping his shaking arms from where he’d pulled her onto him to cushion her fall and then rolled on top of her to keep away the debris raining down from the explosion. 

He must had hit his head. He can’t- he can’t hear anything, and his vision sways and then blurs. He sees- but doesn’t hear- others feebly moving; some thrown into the wall and others buried under rubble from the collapsed ceiling.

Then Rey is in his filling his vision. 

Rey 

She’s propped up beside him on the ground, cradling his face in her hands, gazing down in concern. Her lips move, but no sound reaches him- even through their bond. He can’t even think clearly enough to check it.

She moves. She is- is trying to leave?

Something registers deep in recesses of his foggy mind: he can’t let her go. He needs to keep her with him- keep her safe… His fist closes around the fabric of her trousers; it clamps down and will not let go. He moves then, to lock her in his arms, but she turns back and brushes a hand across his filthy cheek. She looks sad- so terribly, terribly sad. And Ben doesn’t understand…

Fingers shaking, Rey brings her hand up above his face. Concentration creases her forehead. He feels the Force- he feels her reaching for it. A familiar move… an unfamiliar sensation… 

No! It’s the last thing he thinks before his eyes fall closed and sleep drags him under. 

Rey bends over just long enough to brush her lips against her love’s brow, before rising to her feet and racing from the room. A few moments later, her living soldiers follow, and the rest of the resistance team does nothing to stop them. 

Shaken and bruised, Rose, Chewie, and Poe’s friends make their way to where Ben sleeps. They’re soon joined by a breathless Poe and Finn, who are quickly filled in on what happened. Then, Chewie carrying Ben, and the others carrying Beaumont and Connix; they climb on the speeders and fly back to camp.

…

Betrayal. 

How could anything hurt more than this? How could any hurtful act be worse than this? 

It’s the first thing he feels when he wakes on a cot, starring up at the ceiling of the cave far above. 

It can’t. Nothing could be worse than this… He closes his eyes again and surrenders to the dark once more. Anything but this.

Because what she’s done- it’s irreversible. There’s no going back. So that can mean only one thing going forward… 

She’s changed the rules; she’s started playing dirty. So now, nothing is off the table…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys! I can't believe we're getting so close to the end! Things only go escalate from here so hang on! 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought! :)


	18. The Dyad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sighing deeply, Ben leans forward, hair falling in his eyes, still gripping handfuls of the sheets to tight he can feel his nails through the course material. He’s so, so tired…
> 
> Then everything goes quiet. A new sensation. A familiar sensation. A sensation he knows now so well just by the rise of the hairs on his arms. 
> 
> Oh- there you are…

Ben starts off the moment they land. Without a word to the others, he storms out of the camp he, Finn, and Chewie had made the last time they were here and starts walking. He doesn’t really have a destination or any clue where he’s going; he just wants- no needs- to get away, to move and listen to the ocean, and away from the all the thoughts building up inside his head like a ship’s engine preparing for takeoff. 

He ends up a long way down the beach, where he wades into the water up to the waist, not caring when it drenches his trousers. Then, spotting a hill in the distance, he sets out to climb it. He doesn’t know what he’ll do when he gets there, but he just knows he needs to go. 

He hasn’t spoken to anyone since that morning, when he’d woken up in the cave on Feji. He didn’t want to see anyone. He just wanted to close his eyes and drift away and forget anything had ever existed at all. 

But then the cold had hit. And he realized he would rather do all that from somewhere much warmer.

Ben had emerged while everyone was still eating breakfast. They all paused to watch him as he stumbled from his tent, not making for the fresh pot of stew on the stove, but toward one of the crates lying beside the Millennium Falcon. Ignoring them all, he scooped it up and began stuffing in the supplies lying around the camp. For a moment, they all just stared at him, but then Poe had hurried over. “Uhhh… what are you doing?” He shifted uncomfortably when Ben didn’t turn around.

“Packing”, Ben’s voice was thick and deep with sleep when he replied, “Come on. It’s time to go.”

Uncertain, Poe turned to glance at the others. “Go? Go where?” By then, everyone had stopped eating and were staring at them. Ben only internally sighed. 

“Back to Osggia, where the three of us were camped out before. There’s no use being here anymore.” When he glanced over, Poe looked more confused than ever.

“Wait, I don’t understand. Osggia? You mean, you already know where the third Source is? The- whatsitcalled-? Um…” He turned to glance at Finn who began to reply but Ben was running out of patience. 

“No, I have no idea where the Gate of Whisperous is. But I’d rather sit around not knowing on a nice warm planet than freeze my ass off here!” 

That effectively put an end to the conversation. After a few moments of stunned silence, the rest of the crew had wolfed down their breakfast and joined Ben in packing up the camp. By mid-morning, they were ready to take off in their respective ships, following the Falcon back to Osggia, and leaving the miserable, little planet of Feji for good. 

Now, as Ben sits at the very top of the hill, on a rock surrounded by tufts of course sea grass, he’s able to clear his mind a bit. The air is much cooler up here, but not unpleasant- tinged with the taste of salt and earth. When he closes his eyes, the wind blowing his hair in his face and tickling his ears, he can almost imagine it’s someone’s fingers running along his scalp, soothing him and promising everything will be alright.

He expects it to be Rey; but as he leans into the phantom touch, it’s not Rey he imagines caressing him; it’s his mother. 

Mother…

Tears prick his eyes, but he keeps them tight shut to not let a single one fall. 

He had promised himself he wasn’t going to try again, wasn’t going to get his hopes up, only to be dashed. But it seems like he’s heard someone say something about help only coming when you’re at your lowest point- it was probably one of Uncle Luke’s boring old Jedi lessons. But maybe- maybe this time..

He is at his lowest right now; there’s nowhere lower for him to go. 

Rey has betrayed- really betrayed him this time. She’s gone and there’s a chance her own Dark Side powers could kill her. The final source could be, even now, being destroyed, and he would never know. Connix and Beaumont were attacked by Rey under his watch, and thankfully, they’re fine now, but what if they weren’t! He’s been an asshole all day to the only people who are actually nice to him, and the Force itself and the entirety of his Jedi Ghost family have been ignoring him since he came back!

“Mother…” He hardly dares to whisper it out loud. “Mother, please.” Please, please! The tears return- hot and angry. “Mother, I need you!” He cries, to the sky, face uplifted as tears trace their way down his pale face. 

Grandfather… He doesn’t even say it. He knows by now that is a futile request. If he didn’t come when Ben was about to fall to the Dark Side or when Rey lay dead in his arms, he won’t come now. 

“Mother!” He wails. But his words are caught by the wind and fade into the clouds without response. 

He returns to camp. He goes straight to the Falcon. 

It’s basically dark by the time he arrives back in the camp. From where they’re all seated around the fire, talking merrily, he feels their concerned stares as he lumbers past. He would- he should- go over there and join in- the fire looks nice… but he’s too embarrassed to look them in the eye. 

The ramp of the Falcon is down. Chewie is waiting at the top. Sitting on an old metal stool he dragged from somewhere deep inside the ship, he reclines against the wall, cup of warm tea in hand. Ben pauses beside him. He knows he can’t hide from his adopted uncle and it’s his ship anyway. 

“I hope you don’t mind if I stay in the ship tonight…” The Wookie takes a sip and then glances up. Ben had slept out under the stars when they were here before, but Chewie doesn’t look surprised at the request. 

“No. I don’t mind.” Chewbacca has always had his own room and bed inside the ship aside from the Captain’s quarters. It’s much smaller, but he says he likes it that way. Its more cozy.

Nodding, Ben turns to go, but then he feels a furry hand grip his wrist. It’s not painful but it is demanding. He doesn’t turn back round, even when Chewie speaks. “You alright, kid?” He asks softly, firelight flickering his large, dark eyes. 

Of course, not. He’s the farthest thing from it!

Ben responds with a brief shake of his head. His throat tight and his jaw tight, and his head tight with pent-up tension and emotion. He swallows thickly and shakes hie head again. Chewbacca doesn’t let go of his wrist. 

“You will be.” Never taking his eyes off the fire in the distance, he says it like it’s not the most absurd thing in the world. He says it like a promise, though that’s impossible, but it does make Ben feel the slightest bit better. “Everything will be alright. You’ll see.” His hand tightens around him, and when Ben looks down at him, he softly smiles. 

And that’s it. That’s what he’d wanted to hear; before, on the hilltop. That he’ll be alright; that he’ll somehow make it through this. He had wanted this reassurance from his mom or his grandfather, or any random, old dead Jedi. But it is his Uncle Chewie who is here for him in the end. How had he known that was just what Ben needed to hear?

Eh, who needs those old Jedi anyway, he thinks. He’ll do this without their help, and when they come around asking for him to fix another of their messes or save the Galaxy again, he’ll ignore them too. Looking down at Chewie and glancing back at the group at the fire, decides he has the only help he wants. 

Squeezing Chewie’s broad shoulder, Ben turns to go. Quietly, he ambles through the halls he knows so well to the room where his parents used to sleep. On long trips to distant planets, he remembers waking up in the middle of the night and padding in here to find his mother and father wrapped in each other’s arms beneath the blankets. 

They fought a lot during the day and over almost every decision they ever made; but no one can say they didn’t love each other.

It’s quiet inside the ship. Most of the time he’s spent inside this room was while they were traveling through lightspeed, with all the humming of the engines and the roaring thrusters; so it’s strange sitting inside and hearing nothing but the thoughts in his own head. 

Maybe he should just go to bed. It’s really no use, but at least he can get comfortable. Peel off those sweaty clothes he’s been hiking around in all day and lie down naked between the cool sheets. He’ll probably just get bored and end up fisting his cock and coming on the bedsheets. But he can’t really summon enough energy to care. It’ll take the edge off, at least. 

Without grace, Ben shucks off his jacket and then the sturdy woolen tunic follows it onto the floor. His boots are next and, oh- does it feel good to strip off both socks and wiggle his toes in the cool air. He sits as he unbuckles his belt and then slips it from the loops before tossing it to the floor. 

That does feel better. And now he’s liking the idea of stripping naked more and more. He thumbs open the button of his trousers and then, almost absently, slips his hand inside. Letting his eyes fall closed, he strokes himself languidly through his underwear. 

Head falling back, Ben relaxes for the first time in too many days. He probably should’ve done this sooner. Maybe it would have let off some steam and he wouldn’t have been such an asshole all week. He collapses back onto the bed, still stroking himself. 

Where are you, he thinks. Of course, he’s thinking about her again. 

Frustrated, he rolls over onto his front and hauls a pillow under his chest before he begins thrusting shallowly against the sheets. It would be so much easier to get off if she were here. She would only need to pull her tunic open, letting the soft light of the cabin illuminate her lovely, pert breasts, and he would be there. 

But that’s not all he would do if she were here. To his disappointment, this is all just making him more angry and frustrated than before. His pace quickens. 

“Where are you?” He snarls. “Where are you!?” Growling, rutting into the mattress, hands fisted in the sheets, as he breathes in savagely through clenched teeth.

What would happen if he suddenly showed up where she is with a sturdy set of binders, and hauled her, kicking and screaming, into his ship where she belongs, to make love to her until she finally saw reason? And he wouldn’t take off the binders either. Just like when she’s shown up at Snoke’s ship in his father’s escape pod. Oh, she really hadn’t liked that! But she’d been too distracted by everything else to care. 

They both were. Being so close, for the first time in the same place since they came to really know each other. Finally seeing eye to eye, so close in that elevator that they could feel each other’s warm breaths on their skin. 

And all the dirty, depraved things he had yearned to do to her… Though truthfully, he’d been too scared to even kiss her- which is what he really wanted to do. 

He imagines her kneeling on the floor of the Falcon, naked legs spread wide, her open tunic hung from her shoulders, exposing her breasts. Hands secured behind her back by steel binders, Rey’s beautiful hair would hang long and wave about her face as he drew her up on her knees. Then, he’d guide his shaft through her open lips until every inch of him was inside her warm, wet mouth. 

This is something he’s often fantasized about- especially back when he was Kylo Ren- but since they’ve been together, he’s been too afraid to ask, and he’d never coerce her into anything. 

But he swears, if she were here right now, in this moment, he wouldn’t hesitate. He’d make her take it; every inch- and there are quite a few inches- until she was begging for him to come. And she would love every moment of it. 

“Where are you!?” 

But suddenly, he doesn’t feel horny or depraved; he feels hollow and empty and alone. Groaning, he sits up on the edge of the bed again, still hard inside is trousers. That’s when he realizes there are tears in his eyes. He knows he’s only thinking this way because he’s angry, but there’s still a part of him that yearns at the thought of her submitting at his feet. 

You stupid, stupid idiot! You may be able to get her to suck your cock, but not give up her insane mission to destroy the entire Galaxy! 

And that’s really what he wants. All he wants. To be her everything, and to know that he is. Just as she is for him. Because, Force knows that she is- that he would follow her into the depths of hell, and even into death itself- because he already has. 

Maybe it draws on his own insecurities, that no one has ever loved him that much or that, ever since he was a child, he’s been terrified of never being enough. For his parents, for Uncle Luke; for anyone ever, as long as he lives and no matter what he does. Not that he just is not, but that he is isn’t capable of being enough- not even enough of himself to be enough. 

Because his mother always told him she loved him unconditionally, but yet, she still secretly feared him and sent him away; and if he wasn’t lovable enough for his own mother, how could he be to anyone else… 

Sighing deeply, Ben leans forward, hair falling in his eyes, still gripping handfuls of the sheets to tight he can feel his nails through the course material. He’s so, so tired…

Then everything goes quiet. 

A new sensation. A familiar sensation. A sensation he knows now so well just by the rise of the hairs on his arms. 

Oh- there you are… 

And there’s the anger he’d lost, hot and sharp and stinging like a cut. 

She doesn’t react when he finally looks up at her. She’s sitting too, just across from him on the other side of the room. It looks like she’s floating in midair, because there’s no chair on this side of the bond. 

They gaze at each other quietly for moment, then Rey licks her lips. “Are you alright?” Ben shouldn’t allow himself to feel that little thrill at the sound of her voice. She speaks softly, and the genuine concern in her voice is baffling. 

“No thanks to you…” He replies. And Rey bites her lip. 

“Where are you?” 

Ben doesn’t bother raising his eyes to reply. “On the Falcon.” But after a long moment, he does raise his head just enough to look her in the eyes. “Where are you?”

Rey smirks. He hands shift in her lap. Because of course, they both know she can’t answer that. Or at least, she won’t. But then she surprises him when she raises her voice and says, “I’m on my ship.”

It is Ben’s turn to smirk now. “Your ship”, he muses, worrying at a painful little hangnail on his thumb that’s been bothering him all day. “Where’d you get that ship anyway?” Rey stays silent for a moment, and Ben revels in her discomfort. 

“I had my men steal it for me, if you must know.” She shifts in her phantom seat, sticking out her knee to begin anxiously bouncing it up and down. She grimaces at him. “You happy now?”

Ben almost snorts with laughter, except he isn’t the least bit amused. “No, I’m not happy at all.” And as soon as he’s said it, Rey’s rising from her chair, rubbing her temple, to begin pacing. Ben watches her with veiled disinterest, until she finally pauses to glare at him. 

“What!”

“I’m waiting...” 

Rey’s brow jumps at that. “Waiting for what?” 

Huh, Ben would have thought that would be clear to her. “For you… For an apology.” 

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her so angry and surprised at the same time. She’s not just angry- she’s outraged. Looks like he’s not the only one who was already angry when the bond first opened. She looks like she could run a lightsaber right through his chest again, except she wouldn’t heal him this time, and leave him out to bleed. 

“An apology?” She blurts. “For what?!” 

She knows for what, and that’s what makes up jolt up off the bed to glare down at her, hands automatically clenching into fists. “For betraying me! For knocking me out with the Force!” 

“I seem to remember you doing the exact same thing!” 

Oh, no! No, she did not just do that! She doesn’t get to pretend, not with him! “That was different”, he spits. “I didn’t even know you! I didn’t even know your name.” Seething, she silently watches him from under knitted brows, but he does sense a slight give in her stance, an acknowledgement that he may be right. “You might as well have just taken me as your prisoner and lock me up in your dungeon.”

Rey rolls her eyes as if he’s being over dramatic; but he’s not. He’s so fucking angry! 

“Prisoner, really? I don’t want you as my prisoner!”

“Then what do you want me as, Rey?!” He snarls it. They’re only a few feet apart, now; bodies leaning in, taught and shaking with rage. “Your slave? To follow you into blindly into whatever crazy battle you want to wage, even if it’s something that could kill you?!” 

Eyes widening, Rey stops up short. Her feet stumble over each other as she backs away, but he follows. This, at least, has given her pause.

She’s quiet for a moment, searching, twisting her fingers. “I just want to find the damn Gate of Whisperous and be done with this! That’s all I want.” 

“Wait…” Ben says, holding up a hand. “You don’t know where it is either?” 

“No. Of course, not. Otherwise we’d be living in a much better Galaxy right now.” Ben almost finds himself laughing. But yes, it does make sense; if she knew where it was, she’d be there right now, using her Sith lightning again. Or she could be dead. Just one more time is all it could take. How does she not understand that?!

Rey is quiet for a moment more, starring down at her hands, a bit of vulnerability showing through. “And it’s not going to kill me.” She says softly, as if she knows what he’s thinking- and she doesn’t because he’s got his shields up. “I’m fine.” 

Then he does laugh. It only gets stronger when he sees the indignant look on her face. And its not a nice laugh either; it harsh and too loud and cruel, because he’s angry. Not so much at her, as at everything. “Sure, Rey.” He snorts. “You really think I can’t feel everything you’re feeling right now; every beat of your heart and the blood in your veins. Every sore tendon and aching muscle- the itching burning all over your skin. Look at you. You’re barely standing.”

And its true. She’s in such pain that, even now, clothes are a discomfort. The bruises under her eyes are so dark that he knows, without asking, that she hasn’t slept hardly at all since the last time they were together. 

Swallowing, Rey still tries to put on a bold face. “I’m fine”, she hisses. Then, her eyes rake over the length of him. “And I can feel you too, don’t forget.” The corner of her mouth lifts as she regains her edge. “Its not so easy cumming on your own anymore, is it? Trust me, I know.” 

She must have sensed the waves of arousal still in his system and the lingering hardness in his dick. Damn his traitorous body! 

“Stop trying to change the subject and answer the question!” 

“What question?”

Growling, he lurches forward to shove a finger in her face. He has to make himself ignore her heaving, hot breaths on his hand. “What you want me as. What do you want me to be?”

Rey gapes at him. “Not this!” She throws out her hand to motion at the length of him. “Not angry and resentful and hurt!” 

“Ha- like you’re not the one who made me this way!” He snaps. 

Throwing up her hands in exasperation, Rey rolls her eyes. She tries to take a step back, but he crowds into her space. “And what do you want?!” When he doesn’t answer, she pokes him in the chest. She’s so close now, he has to crane his neck to look down at her. “You want me to give up on the only dream I’ve ever had? You want me to give up on the one thing I ever choose to do, for myself; instead of out of obligation or guilt? To ignore my conscience and abandon my cause?!”

“Yes!” He doesn’t even hesitate, throwing out his hands in emphasis. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want! For me. I want you to choose ME, over everything else. Just like I choose you…” 

For a moment, they’re just starring into each other’s eyes. Nothing between them but a few inches of air. It feels like too much. It feels insurmountable. 

Rey takes a shaky breath. Then she clenches her fists. “I did choose you. I have always chosen you and I only ever will choose you!” Her eyes are vulnerable now, wide, gleaming, sad. But her voice comes out hard. “I’m doing this for YOU!” 

Ben’s mouth falls open. Shaking his head, he stumbles back as if punched. 

“Well don’t! I don’t want you to. I don’t need you to!” 

“I’m just doing what’s best for you!” 

“No. No, you’re not.” Ben has started shaking his head and he doesn’t stop. He’s so furious he could scream! “You’re only doing what’s best for you. What you want! I never asked for any of this!” Rey is glaring, angry; looking like she’s getting ready to hit him. Good, let her do it. Somehow it feels like it would help. 

“You keep pretending that this is what I need, but that’s just an excuse! That’s not what I need. That’s not what I want! You think you know, but you don’t! Because then you’d know…” 

Why is she looking at him like that? Why does it make him want to scream and cry and kiss her until he can’t breathe, all at the same time? How can he possibly love anyone this damn much?!

“Because you’d know… I’ve only wanted or needed one thing. I only need YOU!” 

They stand like that; him breathing her air, her breathing his. His and her. She and him. Two and one. And only one. 

They Dyad glare into each other’s eyes for a long, tense moment- two hearts racing in their chests. And suddenly Rey is surging up to kiss him and he’s gripping her with all his strength. 

Its overpowering. Its intoxicating and sharp and real. Its messy, with too much lip and too much tongue. It is rough, and bitter, and bold, and needy, hot and dangerous, and all encompassing. Its unlike any of the kisses they’ve shared before. Almost a fight more than a kiss; half dance, half battle. 

Like the way he’d longed to kiss her as they fought, in the heat of battle. One moment they’re fighting and then the next they’re trying to tear each other’s clothes off. Still fighting, still scrambling for the higher ground. He would push her down and she’d climb on top. In the snow… In the rain… on the wreckage of the Death Star with her leggings barely down thighs, holding her on her stomach as he presses his length into her, while she struggles, to get away or closer, even she doesn’t know.

He had wanted to do it then. He should have. They should’ve done this a long time ago. Maybe things would have been much simpler if they had. 

Ben clutches her face and waist. And Rey’s hands are everywhere; groping him, digging her claws into his back, fisting in his hair, running along the curve of his ass.

He groans into her mouth. He wants nothing more than to scoop her up and pin her against the wall. But the wall it too far away and she’s moving so furiously, like a tigress marking her territory, her kisses sloppy and open-mouthed and consuming. Gripping her lovely, scrumptious ass, he tries to maneuver her onto his hips. But then she bites him, just below the corner of his mouth, hard enough it will leave a mark. 

Good! He wants to be marked by her. He belongs to her. And she is his. He wants to mark her too!

Hard again, he grinds against her, warm and insistent against her soft belly. As if to say: touch me, claim me, tame me. Their anger and lust burns white hot, and they both welcome it. Dipping his tongue into her mouth, stroking hers with his, he palms her tits savagely through her thin dress. 

More, more, more, MORE! He thinks, lost to her. Give me everything! I will take it! “Mine, mine, mine”, she groans. 

I will take everything you could possibly give and still need more of you…

All of a sudden, there’s a flash of light so blinging it stings his eyes. Ben’s eyes snap open and he jerks back, nearly falling onto the bed. He hears Rey gasp, and a moment later, she’s stumbling back into the opposite wall, eyes wide as moons. 

What the HELL?! What was that? 

His eyes weren’t even open. The flash came from inside his own eyelids. And Rey seems to have experienced the same thing. 

Did she cause this? Another Sith power?

No. She looks bewildered- frightened even. This is something else… 

Breathing heavily, Rey and Ben gape at each other across the room. He can see his own wetness still on her kiss-stung lips and can feel her on his own and taste her on his tongue. Ben is opening his mouth to speak- to ask what in all hell happened, but the words never make it out; because something is happing to his vision. It begins to blurry and then foggy until all he can see is a blind haze. 

“Ah- uh… Be-.” Rey stutters from the other side of the room, but she is nothing but a dark blur against the Falcon’s rough metal wall. From somewhere down in his chest, comes horse frantic cry, but its cut silent when the white filling his vision begins to take shape. 

Glowing and blurry, and not just images, but sounds, flood his mind, moving a parsec a minute. They jump in and out of the haze before he’s even had a chance to decipher what they are. Through the static and strange mix of noises, two voices begin to get louder and more distinct, as a new scene comes into focus. 

Two men. They look old. They’re both wearing what appear to be traditional Jedi robes. One holds a long staff in his hand, as he walks close beside his companion down a narrow path on a wooded mountainside. The one with the white beard, with the stick, is talking in low hushed tones. “After the funeral, if you can spare the ship I’ll go and take the next watch.”

“No, Master.” The slightly younger man protests. “You cannot. It is far too dangerous. Let me go instead.”

“And leave your Padawan at the very end of her training?” The old man shakes his head. “No. This is the safest of all the Force’s Life Sources. Lois Aeloa is uninhabited and the Gate of Whisperous must be guarded in this treacherous time. Fear not, my son. The Sith have no idea this one even exists. I will be just fine.” 

Ben barely has time to register what they’re talking about- about the Gate of Whisperous, when the scene is shifting. Blurry around the edges, it seems to be having trouble focusing. The light is dim, all deep shades of purple, orange, and amber. The old man, bent double strides slowly across an open, rocky stretch of earth, his lightsaber swinging at his belt. 

There’s something in the distance, something Ben can’t quite see. A pool of water- or a doorway? It looks like a gateway, but with no walls around it and nothing on the other side. But the inside of the opening is even more blurry than the rest of the scene, shifting like water flowing down a streambed.

The old man places his hand on outer frame, closing his eyes and focusing with the Force. A series of rapid-fire images flashes through his-and Ben’s mind, almost too quickly to take them all in. 

Someone is screaming. Two women in a lightsaber duel. A monster rising from the depths of the sea. People dancing. A little girl with wild hair sobbing into her hands. A very old woman holding a newborn child. A man scatters seeds into the wind. 

Then Ben is back with the old man with the white beard, who lurches back from the gate’s frame as if he’d been burned. He falls onto his back, his walking stick flying off to in the other direction. The man groans. 

Then suddenly, it cuts to black, and a new scene begins to bubble up through the inky sludge. Someone is speaking- its so intimate it sounds like someone is whispering right into his ear, and his body shudders. This voice has no gender; it doesn’t even sound as if it’s alive at all.

“Chosen ones… Chosen ones...” For a moment he thinks it’s Palpatine speaking- back from the dead again- but the voice is smoother, silkier; like oil. Ben can just make out the speaker, who stands with it’s back to him, hunched in a dust-colored robe. “A Dyad- The Dyad…” It mutters, swaying gently from side to side. “The two, now one; from which will be born a power as strong as life itself…” 

Then suddenly, the speaker turns, and a face is filling Ben’s vision- huge glowing eyes- a terrible, terrible, hideous face. A set of sharp teeth that snaps at him! Ben cries out; his body falls to the ground. And then-

Darkness 

The blackness slowly dissipates and he’s sitting next to the bed, on the hard, cold floor of the Millennium Falcon, starring into the face of a woman who looks just as frightened as he feels. She’s leaning against the wall, hands on her knees, heaving in great gulps of air. Tears track down her cheeks and smudge the coal under her eyes. 

Slowly, Ben climbs to his feet. Soberly, he watches Rey do the same. The next time she looks at him, her features are an impenetrable a mask as the one Kylo Ren used to wear. 

The weight of the silence between them is so heavy he can feel it like a block of stone on his shoulders. Ben nods to her. “Did you-…?” She gravely nods in answer. She already looks so tired; how will she make it through all that is about to come…

“You too?” She asks, and Ben nods back.

Silently he searches her face. He knows the next time he sees it, everything will have changed. The space between them- though only seven or eight feet- may as well be a galaxies’ width. They gaze, across that chasm, into each other’s eyes for how long, they don’t know; maybe an eternity, maybe only a moment; waiting to see who will make the first move- who will set in motion the path that promises to be their destruction… 

Its Rey. 

Of course, it is.

With a deep breath with all the gravitas this decision merits, Rey straightens, downcast eyes fixing on the toes of her boots. She takes the first step. She looks at him one more time. Then, the bond closes and he’s left alone in the dim yellow light. 

He’s running the second after she disappears. Through the halls of the ship, calling to Chewie as his bare feet slap on the grated floor, and out into the cool night air. Everyone is getting ready for the night, pitching their tents, climbing into their beds. The fire is nearly out, reduced to glowing embers in the sand. But his voice is loud enough to stir them all. They emerge, confusion written across their features and questions on their lips-

What’s going on?

How do you know?

What happened?

But he doesn’t have time to explain. And at his command, the run to their ships and climb inside, leaving their bedrolls and supplies behind. 

Finn is just about to board the Falcon, when Ben runs up behind him. “You still got your lightsaber?” He asks. Solemnly, Finn turns to face him, heart racing, but with just a touch of excitement humming in his veins. Ben feels the same way. 

Whatever happens- wherever this road takes them- this will all soon be over. 

“Yeah, I got it.” The younger man replies, patting his hip. 

“Good.” Ben claps him approving across the shoulder. “You’ll need it where we’re going.”

They’re halfway up the ramp, and the engines are already roaring to life, ruffling Ben’s hair and Finn’s clothes. “Where ARE we going?” Finn asks.

“To a planet called Lois Aeloa… To the Gate of Whisperous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh! I can't believe we're finally here! This is where things take off and don't drop until the ending. I hope you all are ready. 
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please let me know. Kudos and recs are greatly appreciated! I'm also on twitter under the same name.


	19. The Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He strikes! Effortlessly parried by Rey, who then returns a couple return blows in rapid succession that leave him winded. 
> 
> Rey clucks her tongue, disapproving. “You should never lead with that move. I would have thought your new Master would’ve taught you that.” She shakes her head, and it’s the mocking disapproval that makes him angry, more than anything else. “Not a very good Jedi, are you?”

Poe is piloting the Falcon. A fact that surprises him more than anybody.

Ben has graciously allowed him to, even when Poe declined; but it’s really only so Ben can keep a lookout as they hurtle down through the planet’s thick, murky atmosphere. Still unable to see the ground, they nosedive at maximum speed through a dense layer of dust-colored clouds, that seems like it will never end. 

Finally it does. And Poe cuts of the thrusters and jerks on the controls, fighting to level the ship before they plow headfirst into the ground. Ben grits his teeth as he thrown against the wall of the cockpit, fingers digging into the seatback to hard it will probably leave claw marks. “Careful, Dameron”, he mutters under his breath. But Poe only grins and shakes his dark luscious curls. 

“Yup! No problem. Old Poe’s still got it!” When Ben grumbles inaudibly again, he raises a finger to point in Ben’s face. “And I heard that!”

“Whatever”, Ben replies, guiding the hand away and back to the controls. “Just level us out closer to the ground, so we can see what this place actually looks like.”

So far, he can hardly tell. The light is dim. There is only one light-source on the entire planet- no moons or suns- that seems to be focused on the exact middle of the planet, its rays seeming to shift colors, so that Ben can’t tell if it’s more reddish or a purple hue. And as the ground comes into view, a strange sensation begins to form in this gut; something familiar that fills him with dread. 

It’s empty. There is nothing… nothing. Not like the desert or a snowy tundra. Lois Aeloa is completely empty. 

The ground is flat. No lines crease the surface; not a stream or a hill or a plant to be seen. And not one living thing in mile after mile, as they glide smoothly over the plant’s surface, without a hint of wind resistance or a sound from beyond the steel walls. 

Silent and empty. A world that was born only yesterday, or one that has existed in perfect isolation for thousands and thousands of years, untouched by mortal feet until today. 

If it is day here, it’s difficult to tell. It may as well be no time at all, here in the quiet and nothingness. It makes Ben shiver; it makes him want to either turn around and get the hell out of here or else lie down and sleep for a thousand years. In fact, he starts to feel the slightest bit sleepy, that he might like to go back to bed and pretend none of his problems are real. 

That is, until he sees it…

IT, is a blinding beam of light shooting up from the ground at the center of the planet, so far up into the sky, he can’t see the end. It is continuous; solid and steady- but swirling within, shifting colors, and lighting the entire world. 

Finally, the DeJa’Vu makes sense. Because this is the place from his vision, and this is the light he’d seen. And below the light, is the same stone archway the only man had touched. The Gate of Whisperous.

The old man is long gone- probably dead- but someone is standing in his place. Of course, she beat them here. She stands as a dark, cloaked shadow against the blinding light; flanked by a semi-circle of her cultist soldiers. Her ship is parked nearby, just outside the inner circle of light.

“There!” Finn points from his place beside Ben, but he really didn’t need to. The moment the smoky clouds had cleared, they’d all seen the towering beam of light, and the young woman who’s already laid claim to it. “Is that Rey?” He asks. “She beat us…” 

Ben nods. “Yes. But it’s alright.” He glances down at Poe. “Remember the plan?” When Poe gives an enthusiastic nod, shifting his hands on the gears, Ben says, “Good. Let’s go in hard and surprise her. If we can throw her off, that will be just the advantage we need to end this thing before it starts.”

After a moment, the coms unit crackles and Rose voice fills the cockpit. She’d been listening attentively for orders from her ship, flying just behind and below the Falcon; Connix and Poe’s two friends are riding with her. “Hey guys, are you guys seeing this? The planetary scanners are showing some pretty crazy readings. The gravity is all out of wack. It keeps changing from place to place, but it’s always way stronger than any of the other planets I’ve ever been to.”

“Its alright, Rose.” Ben replies, glancing at the lights and numbers popping up across the Falcon’s console. “As long as it’s habitable for humans, we don’t need to worry. Just follow our lead.”

“Eye, eye, Captain.” She says, and then cuts off. 

Leaning forward to grip the controls, Poe grumbles under his breath, so that no one can hear him; but Ben does. “Actually, I’m the Captain right now…” But he ignores him, faintly smirking, then getting a tighter grip on the seat and drawing his lightsaber.

“Alright. Let’s take her down.” 

Poe immediately jumps into action. They’d gone through Ben’s hastily thought up plan on the way to Lois Aeloa, and now Poe begins their descent. He can see Rey through the cockpit window, lit up by the strange light. She doesn’t turn her head at first, though she must know they’re there. But when he yanks the controls and hit the thrusters, turning sharply, she does turn. 

Is she- is she grinning?! Poe feels a wave of terror roll through him. But he suppresses it. 

The Falcon swoops down, banking hard to skirt around the perimeter of guards she’s set up, in anticipation of their arrival. Finn is already in the gun turret. When they get near enough, he’ll start firing, but aiming only at the Sith Cultists. 

Down on the ground, Rey watches the ship near. There’s no way she could see Ben through the dirty, scuffed windows of the cockpit. But it seems as though they lock eyes, and Ben’s breath catches. The guns below begin to fire; slowly and carefully, so as not to accidently hit Rey or the Gate.

At first, the blasts only kick up dust, but then, when one of her men is hit, a new expression creeps across Rey’s features. Ben watches with bated breath, as another cultist is hit and pieces of him go flying.

Suddenly, Rey’s arm shoots out. It emerges, like a serpent, from beneath her billowing, dark cloak, and into the air to curl into an eagle’s talon. Ben feels the grip before he fully realizes what she’s doing. The ship shudders, and Poe’s hands violently shake on the controls. 

“Uh… Solo?” 

Ben swallows, hand tightening around his saber. He closes his eyes to take a few deep breaths. “It’s ok. Just keep going. But back off a little.” 

But Rey has other ideas. And Poe watches as the grin on her face only grows wider. He remembers the way she had taken hold of that transport ship they thought Chewie was on, back on Pasaana- how she and Kylo had played a deadly game of tug of war over it until Rey erupted with lighting and blew the thing a fiery inferno.

Yeah… he’s real keen no that not happening again!

The ship begins shake more violently, and Poe swallows. “She wouldn’t really pull us out of the sky, would she?” He asks, craning his neck to shoot Ben a look.

“No”, Ben replies dismissively, “I’m in here”. Poe rolls his eyes. 

“Oh great… That’s real comforting, Solo!” 

Actually, Ben isn’t quite so sure. But as the ship jerks unexpectedly in the opposite direction from where Rey stands, it becomes apparent that she’s not grabbing hold of them- but pushing. As gently as one can, using the Force, she is nudging them away from her. 

“Retreat!” Ben commands, suddenly. “Fly back a ways and then come in for another pass a little higher up. Make sure to get me right above her!” Poe obeys, and Ben is already racing from the cockpit. 

Chewie joins him at the door as Ben lowers the ramp with the slam of a button. Lightsaber in hand, he grips the wall with white knuckles, breathing deeply, drawing on the Force for strength. He just needs to wait for the perfect moment…

The Falcon does a quick turn under Poe’s careful fingers, and then she’s picking up speed, as they sail head-on, back the way they’d come. They’ll have to be a lot faster this time so Rey has no opportunity to grab them. 

As the Falcon passes over, something- a dark shape- drops down, just a blur of shadow and blue light. Rey watches as it falls into their midst, causing dust to shower the circle of soldiers. Ben uncurls the moment his feet touch the ground, lightsaber arcing, body spinning as he leaps out of the way of two cultists. He’d miscalculated his trajectory a little when he jumped, so he’s not nearly as close to Rey and the Gate as he’d like to be. 

But he soon will be. There’s not a cultist in the bunch strong enough to stop him now!

The cultists are rushing in to surround him again, but Ben leaps over a few, swinging his lightsaber wildly, clearing an area of six feet on each side; and continuing to do so, in order to keep moving. He’s getting closer. But Rey doesn’t seem very concerned about it. She just stands quietly, watching his progression up the slight slope toward the gateway at the top. 

There is a line of men that had stayed in position, even when Ben flew in from above, guarding their mistress. Ben hurtles through their ranks now. But instead of being on the offence, they quickly back out of his way, giving him and his whirling lightsaber a wide birth. 

Maybe Rey had told them move careful and not get her entire guard killed off. Or maybe they just got tired to dying for her. Either way; they waste no time hurrying to a surround him from a safer distance.

That’s when Rey nods. Its subtle, but the effect is instantaneous, as her loyal servants obey. Four men carrying strange-looking spears had jumped into a square formation around Ben when he’d run through; and now, as one, they thrust their spears into the dirt, activating some sort of energy field inside the weapons. Ben watches in disbelief, as red beams stretch between the spear shafts, colliding and fusing together. A fence, is the first thing that comes to mind. But no… 

A cage.

That’s what this is, Ben realizes, turning to look behind him and seeing the energy beams boxing him in from all sides like an animal. A cage, a prison, the very thing she’d promised never to use on him. 

Very clever, he muses. And now she has him exactly where she wants him.

Ben is not fool enough to touch it, but still extends a hand between the beams, feeling the crackling electricity on the hairs of his arm. With his lightsaber, he tests the red strands, hoping they won’t be strong enough to hold the laser beam, but they are. 

After he killed Snoke, Ben and Rey had fought the old Bastard’s Praetorian guards together. No other weapon should be able to withstand a lightsaber, but these weapons they carried were specially made for just that purpose. Snoke must have sensed Kylo would get tired of him one day. 

This cage is made from the same technology. Rey must have collected it after their last encounter, knowing she would need something more substantial that her powerless warriors to hold him. Carefully, Ben takes a step back to study the fence. Well, if he can’t cut through it, maybe he can knock it down. The cultists are still holding the spears steady from the outside, so Ben goes to one corner and begins hacking away at the fence with his saber, trying to get at the soldier beyond. If he angles it just right, he may be able to cut through the shaft and-…

“Give up, Ben.” Rey’s voice echoes in the calm emptiness of this still world. “It’s no use.” Through the sparking, vibrating beams of electricity, Ben locks gazes with her. Her hair is down and flowing. The light is so much brighter that close to the gate, and it only accentuates her beauty, framed by the cage’s red glow. 

“Never! Over my dead body!” Ben shouts in response, teeth gritted in a snarl. He returns to hacking at the fence, but she never breaks eye contact. 

Belatedly, he sees the Falcon swoop in and land just beside Rey’s ship. The ramp opens, and a group of people assembles at the base. The others are here now. Thank the Maker! At the periphery of Ben’s vision, they gather, poised at the very edge of the circle of brightest light. A green beam of light appears as Finn, who stands in the lead, ignites his lightsaber and takes his stance. 

Rey doesn’t look away from Ben, but her own hand reaches for her double-bladed saber in anticipation of the attack. “Then it’s a good thing that’s not what I want.” She tells him. “Tell them to stand down.” She nods toward Finn and the rest of the tightly clustered group. “They’ll listen to you. You don’t want any of them to get hurt.” 

“Sorry Rey, but we’re not here because of him”, Finn says, loud and clear, so she’ll be sure to hear him across the distance. This finally shifts her attention, and she looks him over slowly for the first time. Ben sees her take in the green lightsaber, the cold determination on Finn’s face. But if she’s surprised, she doesn’t’ show it. “We’re here for you”, he continues. “To help you if we can… But we’ll stop you either way.” 

Rey raises her chin in acknowledgement. Ben sees the tightening of her jaw, even if she forces herself to remain expressionless. “Ah, so you’re a Jedi now?” She muses. Shrugging, Finn only grips his weapon tighter. “Well… come and prove it then.” 

Then, with a flourish, her lightsaber is out, and the others start running.

…

Finn has never fought anyone with a lightsaber for real before. He has no idea what he’s doing. There is absolutely no way he can win against someone like Rey; but still he runs, head on, right towards her waiting crimson and gold blade. 

But her soldiers meet him first. There are still a few clustered around Ben, who has been trapped in some kind of electric enclosure, but the rest fan out before Rey, to meet their pitiful attack. Though, her numbers are nowhere as high as they used to be, and soon- pretty soon, there won’t be any more than there are on his side.

The two lines collide. A spray of blaster fire erupts from his side, hitting sooner than the spears and staffs. He too, draws the blaster from the holster at his side and fires. But not at the oncoming cultists, but round after round, he fires in Rey’s direction, clumsily swinging his lightsaber in his other hand.

Rey sees the blaster bolts coming, of course. He’s careful not to aim for her head or heart. But if he can nick her in the arm or leg- draw just a little blood- that might be all the distraction he needs to bring her down. The first few times, Rey just merely deflects the bolts with the shuddering, crimson end of her saber; but then she gets cocky. With a mock yawn, she raises her left hand and begins knocking the red laser bullets out of the sky with the flick of her wrist. 

But she’s not untouchable; Finn reminds himself, nostrils flaring as anger begins to set in. Is this a game to her? The fact that their very lives are at stake and she’s showing off, disgusts as well as infuriates him. This is not the young woman who had been his dearest friend! If she were not wearing Rey’s face, she would be a complete stranger. 

“Poe, give me a lift!” Finn cries, glancing over at his friend- or maybe more than a friend? It’s all too complicated right now. 

Poe has just wrestled a shield from one of the cultists and is using it to fend off the sharp points of two spears that are attempting to skewer him alive. “Poe”, Finn shouts again, “A LIFT!” He gestures with his hand, and the other man finally gets it. 

In one fluid motion, Poe drops down on one knee, blasting one of his assailants in the leg; and brings the shield up over his head. A few shots and a swipe of Finn’s saber clear a path, and then he is running as fast as he can, straight toward his friend. 

Ok, Force. This is where you help me out, ok?

Drawing on that strength, Finn bounds up onto the shield and jumps, just as Poe bursts up from his knee to catapult the shield above his head. And it works! Thank the Force, and the stars, and that creepy shriveled Eye of Welpish Bog thing deep in a Mustafar cave! It works, and Finn goes sailing up over the heads of the soldiers, over his friends’ heads, and over the wall of violence- the only thing keeping Rey safe from him. 

Or possibly, the other way around…

For her part, at least, Rey does look surprised. Really mad too; but still surprised. Maybe even impressed… it that too far to push it?? 

Finn rights himself, gripping both blaster and lightsaber in hand, and stands to meet her, just as she levels him in her unflinching gaze. 

Yup! Most definitely the other way around!

The wall of mixed cultists and the Resistance fighters is hot at his back; the heady, dull roar of them overwhelming his senses. He doesn’t dare look away from Rey’s eyes- is it his imagination or do they almost look yellow is this light- but he prays everyone is still alright. 

Off to his right, he can hear Ben still raging in his cage. Good. He’s still fighting. And hopefully soon, he’ll be able to break out and help Finn with his crazy girlfriend!

“Hello, Finn.” Rey says. Nonchalantly, she strips off her outer cloak and tosses it aside. Then, with a purposeful stride, she begins stalking down the incline to meet him. “Or should I call you Master Jedi, now?” Clicking her lightsaber to full length, she guffaws at the look on his face. 

Ok… That pisses him off a little bit, actually. 

He fires his blaster without warning- without even aiming. It sails directly at her, aimed for her gut, but Rey thrusts out a hand and something so terrible and yet impressive, that Finn can’t even speak, happens. 

The blaster bolt freezes in midair. Just freezes. It hangs suspended in place; the only movement, the shivering energy contained inside. 

Rey sighs dramatically. Though Finn can tell it is causing her some effort- a slight shaking in her elbow. She’s showing off again… Finn shouldn’t be surprised. He knew this was possible, though he’d only seen it done once; and so long ago he’d nearly forgotten. 

By Kylo Ren. On the battlefield on Jakku- on the day Finn’s life had changed forever. Maybe theirs both had. But Finn had just assumed this was something only Kylo could do. 

Apparently not. The Dyad shared everything, and apparently, this is no exception…

Face scrunching with effort, Rey tosses aside the bolt, and it explodes in the distance with a defining bang. Finn takes this moment to glace over at Ben, who has paused his thrashing to witness this show of power. Yet another thing Ben had probably had to learn the hard way, and Rey had learned just through her connection to his mind.

When he turns his attention back on Rey, she looks like she’s just about done playing around. And she’s done with him firing at her too; because a moment later, she’s ripping the blaster from his hand with an invisible hand and tossing it away into the shadows. 

Good! Time to get this over with.

“So, nice lightsaber”, Rey says. The two of the carefully approach each other and begin circling. “I wouldn’t have picked green as your color.”

“Thanks.” He grunts in reply. “I wouldn’t have picked out red as YOUR color, but here we are…” Rey sniffs, and continues circling. 

“Quite an attitude on-.” 

He cuts her off with a spin of his saber. “Are you just going to keep talking, or are we going to do this?” 

Rey just shrugs. “It’s your move.” 

Fine, he thinks. He tightens his grip on the weapon and prepares himself. My move… no problem…

He strikes! Effortlessly parried by Rey, who then returns a couple return blows in rapid succession that leave him winded. Rey clucks her tongue, disapproving. “You should never lead with that move. I would have thought your new Master would’ve taught you that.” She shakes her head, and it’s the mocking disapproval that makes him angry, more than anything else. “Not a very good Jedi, are you?” 

“You want to keep running your mouth or you want to fight.” He yells. “Let’s go!” He needs to get fired up, to get angry! Or else, how can he bring himself to fight her- to really fight her? Fight her to win. 

“Oh, I think you’d prefer me talking rather than fighting.” She replies. And as he watches, the golden hue in her irises grows brighter. She gives him a once over. “You know you can’t beat me. There’s just no way. You can only have been training- what?- weeks at most. There’s no version of this where you come out on top.” For the first time, she seems almost sincere. “But I still don’t want to hurt you…” 

“Then don’t.” He growls, and then he attacks, again, throwing his weight into a swing that would’ve severed her torso from her legs. But she easily deflects.  
Rey’s eyes narrow to slits. It’s been a long time since she’s had a good fight- with someone with a lightsaber, who can actually hit back. It seems, she’s missed this. And if he won’t back down, she’ll gladly give him what he wants. 

Rey draws back for a swing, her shoulders rolling and muscles tensing, Finn notices, a moment too late. And he’s not the only one who’s noticed her change in manner. Because a moment later, Ben yells at them over the roar of the battle.

“Rey, no!”

With a grunt, Finn blocks her strike- but just barely. He jumps back several feet and regains his footing, adjusting the grip on his saber. But Rey is suddenly there again, double blades spinning. Ben hadn’t distracted her, like he’s probably meant to do, but she did hear him; and it must have gotten through, because her strikes are slower now, more methodical. 

He’s not a fool… Finn knows she could kill him right now if she wanted to. 

“You know”, Rey begins, not in the least bothered by talking while fighting. “It’s probably best that he’s teaching you.” And of course, she means Ben. Finn has to force himself not to look over at his instructor for help. “I would probably be a shit teacher.” 

Rolling his eyes, he draws back, letting his weapon fall to his side. “I DID want you to teach me.” He says. And Rey pauses too, letting her own arm fall still. She studies him through narrowed eyes, still disbelieving. “I was going to ask you to”, he continues, “but then you went and joined the freaking dark side!” Rey raises her lightsaber again, and Finn joins in the thrust, both ancient weapons locking and throwing off sparks. 

“Humph.” Rey makes a noise, then spins away from the lock. When she meets him again, she’s smirking. “I can still teach you.” 

“Oh yeah?” Chuckling, he throws his weight into the swing and pushes on her arm with the side of his body, throwing her off. “On the light side or the Dark Side?” 

“Either, or both. It won’t really matter after this is all over.” 

And that’s what’s wrong with her; that’s what’s messed her up. She’s so blinded by her hatred of both sides that she doesn’t remember how much worse the Dark Side is. Finn has seen it up close. Hell- Rey has seen it up close. It’s the thing that orphaned her, the thing that ultimately ended with her dead on the floor of a Sith temple! 

Even if she really believes she can destroy both, how can she possibly believe the Galaxy will be better without the Force, without something to hold it together and keep it in check? 

“It will always matter!” Finn exclaims, pleading in his voice. “The dark side causes nothing but pain and destruction.” She’s being deceived. This isn’t her fault, he reminds himself. Even with the anger and betrayal raging in his veins, this is still the Rey he knew- the Rey he loved. She’s still there; just confused and hurting.

“Please, Rey. You must see that.” He tries again, with a softer tone. “Remember what it did to your family- what it did to Ben!” Finn thrusts his arm out to point at his teacher. “Don’t give in to that Darkness.” For a moment, she seems to be almost considering- or at least listening. She observes him in quiet contemplation, her weapon tucked against her body. Then slowly, she straightens, and heaves a heavy sigh. 

She looks more than exhausted. She looks like she’s already one hundred years old…

“You know what”, she mutters, extending her saber and gazing down as she weighs in in her hand. “Maybe you are a good Jedi after all.” Their eyes meet, and hers are glowing with a fire of rage somewhere deep inside. “A good little Jedi, always following all the rules and doing exactly what he’s told. Don’t worry, Finn. I’m sure the Jedi will have need of you some day, and then maybe you’ll see. When they abandon you for dead!”

Rey attacks again, even more savagely. She isn’t holding back anymore.

Terrified and gasping, Finn stumbles backward down the incline, nearly tripping over his own feet, as he blocks blow after blow. When he meets her eyes, there is violence in them- not murder- not yet, but that may be next. She doesn’t care about hurting him anymore. She just needs him out of the way so she can finally complete her mission.

“Rey, I’m sorry.” He tries to speak over her fury. “I should have been there for you. I didn’t realize how much pain you were feeling- but I should have. I should’ve tried harder. But I didn’t, because I was preoccupied with my own life. I’m truly sorry for that.”

It’s almost like she doesn’t even hear him. “It’s too late for that”, she simply replies. 

“But- but-.” Finn skids on the lose ground and his knee buckles. Dodging under her strike, he rolls out of range and rises to his feet. “But it doesn’t have to be!” He pleads. “It’s not too late for you to change your mind. You could just walk away.” 

Rey growls at his managing to evade her. She spins, lightning fast, and the very tip of her blade grazes his shoulder. He cries out, but has to jump out of the way, or else lose both his legs. 

“Just think about what you’re doing. Plunging the Galaxy into chaos. And without the Light Side to guide us-.”

“There won’t be any Dark Side either.”

“But there will still be evil people”, he counters. “We’ll destroy ourselves, without anything to keep us in check! You really think that’s better? You really think that’s better for us- for Ben?” For a moment, they both glance over at him, where he stands ridged and starring back at them. “You keep talking about protecting him from the Force, but how are you going to protect him from all the terrible people out there without your power?!” 

She can no longer hold Finn’s gaze; her eyes fall to the ground at his feet, and he feels just a tiny thrill of hope. “If you want to protect him; don’t do this. You’re only hurting him and everyone who loves you.” 

At this moment, he notices that the sounds of battle that were raging around have nearly faded. But he doesn’t have time to check on his friends. 

“You want to protect him, but this is only hurting him. Look at him.” She does. “You’ve hurt him more than anybody, and you’re hurting him right now. If you really cared- if you really loved him, you would stop this craziness right now and-.

Big mistake. 

He realizes as soon as the words are leaving his mouth. Too quickly, she’s on top of him. 

He cries out as the full force of her lightsaber connects with his and then slides down to the hilt, grazing his shoulder with the tip and causing his wrist to buckle. She raises it again, and he only has time to lift his own weapon before they’re colliding again. With a cry, his feet slip out from under him, and he crashes to the ground, a cloud of dust permeating the air- no wind to blow it away. He’s just barely able to hold his saber up, as Rey begins raining down blows. 

Through a daze, he gazes up at her; he wonders at how strong she is, even now. Malnourished and sleep deprived, she looks like a strong gust of wind could push her over; but somehow, she strikes with the force of five grown men!

In the distance, he hears Ben yelling something, but his words are drowned out. There is just Rey and her anger, now. She just keeps striking and striking, and Finn can barely see to block her blows before another one is coming down on him. Like she’s not even aiming. 

Seconds seem to turn to years.

Pausing to heave a breath, she swipes, catching the tip of his saber with hers and twisting it out of his grasp. The hilt goes flying into the darkness. Gone forever… Rey pauses above him, weapon poised. And she’s going to do it. The moment their gazes lock, he sees it. There it is; there’s that murder- unmistakable and unyielding. So, this is it? This is how it ends. 

No, he thinks; I still have too much to live for. 

He wishes he could hold Poe’s hand one more time… that he could return Rose’s farewell kiss on the cheek… 

In the distance, Ben is still yelling. Finn blinks rapidly, licking licks his lips. They taste like sweat and dirt. He’s defenseless, so he might as well use the last of his concentration to try to hear Ben’s final message to him. It had better be a good one…

Then he does hear it! And just at Rey brings down her crimson blade, the handle of Ben Solo’s lightsaber flies into his hand. It ignites on contact. And there’s just enough time for Rey’s eyes to widen in surprise, before the blades are crashing together. 

Startled, Rey draws back, her gaze flickering to where Ben stands on the other side of the charged red bars. Finn rises shakily to his feet. He glances at Rey; he knows what she must be thinking. Betrayal- that Ben choose him over her. 

And did he? Finn has no time to think about that. Breathing heavily, he watches Rey as she retreats back to the top of the hill, between him and the Gate of Whisperous. When she turns back around, she looks shaken, uncertain, still refusing to give up the fight. 

And neither is Finn. Most of Rey’s cultist soldiers have fallen. And only Poe and his friend are left standing on Finn’s side; the rest are injured or- NO… This is up to him now. He digs in his heels. And before Rey has time to prepare herself or think of some new hell to rain down on him, he rushes her; his borrowed blade rising as he does. 

Time stands still yet again. 

Surprise is the only emotion to pierce the surrealness of this moment. He watches- almost from a afar, as Rey releases the handle of her lightsaber and it clatters to the ground, raising both hands in this direction. 

Then it’s too late. He’s already in the air, when the deadly beautiful, delicate tendrils of lightning hit his lightsaber. 

For a single moment, he feels the shock snaking up through his arm, reverberating in his wrist- in his bones. Then he is flying backward. A smack back against chalky soil. Blurriness. Pain. Tears in his eyes, and Ben’s saber rolling from his fingers. And then…

Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Sorry about the cliffhanger everyone. Or maybe I'm actually that sorry. :P 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought of it, and what you're predictions are for the ending of this thing. Which is actually coming really soon! Ek!


	20. The Portal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swallowing, Rey’s eyes go distant, starring off into space- or maybe deep inside her own mind. Her hands are shaking again, and finally- FINALLY- he catches them in his own, and holds them still. 
> 
> “This isn’t entirely your fault; I know that.” She meets his gaze, confliction behind her irises. “But I can’t just stand by and let this happen. Because in this end, this is your choice. And if you choose this-.” He motions toward the gate “…you won’t have me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick WARNING:
> 
> There will mentions of and detailed talk about pregnancy from this chapter on to the very end of the story. So please don't continue if that makes you uncomfortable. :)
> 
> And now, please enjoy!

“Bring him to me.” 

Rey calls her double-bladed lightsaber back into her hand with shaking fingers, then turns to face her men, still guarding their prisoner inside the makeshift cage. 

The air is still. The earth and the sky are still, too. This place is too quiet, too empty. It doesn’t just seem dead, it seems like nothing has ever existed or happened here, and never will; that after they leave this place, the things that happened here will cease to be, and they will have no memory of them at all. 

The only thing that seems to be alive on this entire world, is the Gate of Whisperous, pulsing with light and just the faintest hum at Rey’s back; like water running over glass- or a window the other world beyond. 

Rey’s eyes scan the battlefield. Poe, the last one of her adversaries still able to stand, has just killed the last cultist. Wounded, gasping for air, he pushes out from under his final kill, and forces himself to one knee. Their gazes meet across the carnage. They acknowledge each other- her victory, his defeat- before her hand is shooting out and he collapses to the ground, unconscious. 

“Bring him.” She says again, to Ben’s guards, this time much louder. She is full of ragged anger and determination, now. Force knows, it will take all that and more to make it to the ending of this terrible, terrible day…

So that’s what he is now, just 'him'? Her prisoner? 

She avoids his eyes as, in perfect unison, the four cultists yank their spears from the ground, the electric threads between them still holding fast and keeping Ben locked inside. They begin to march up the slope. And he has no choice but to follow. 

The light from inside the Gate is soft but somehow bright as a hundred suns, up close. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the blinding haze, and finally look her in the eye. They’re both so tired. She looks like he feels; barely standing, barely holding the tears at bay. Barely holding back the love that, even now, is breaking both their hearts. 

She draws close to the cage- so close that he’s surprised her hair isn’t singe. With those bright beams of light, it’s hard to tell if the red in her eyes is from the fence or from within. 

“Ben”, Rey says softly. He looks away. “I- I want to let out. I want to have you standing beside me when I finish this.” She waits patiently, but he doesn’t respond. Somehow, she inches closer, her voice dropping. “Can I trust you not to do anything crazy if I do?” 

For just half a moment, a smirk plays on his lips. “Not a chance, sweetheart”, is what he wishes he could say. He’d wink and she playfully shove him, and then maybe he’d duck in to steal a kiss. But then it’s gone… 

Ben looks down at himself, his clothes ripped and dirty. Not a weapon in his hands; no allies at his side. His energy nearly gone. Holding out both arms, he just stares down as if to say, ‘what am I going to do’. Slowly, Rey nods; and then to her guards, who power down their staffs, leaving Ben free. 

The cultists withdraw, leaving them alone, standing face to face gazing at the gateway portal that could be hiding wonders or terrors just beyond. And now, they’ll never know because in a moment, Rey will blast away the last Incarnate Source of the Force and plunge the Galaxy into darkness.

“Where do you think it goes?” he asks, almost absently. Rey’s hands twitch nervously, and both their gazes shift down to stare at them. 

“I don’t care.” Her tone hard, and void of all emotion. “I’ll be gone soon anyway…” After a long moment of silence, she raises both hands. The resigned felling inside him seeps away as he realizes what she’s doing, and pure terror rises up to replace it. 

“Wait!” He’s grasping for her arms, but she tries to jerk away. 

Rey gives him a warning look. “I don’t want to restrain you again. Don’t make me!” 

“Oh, so I’m not going to be your prisoner even after this is all over?” 

Hurt flashes in her eyes. Spluttering, Rey grasps for words, hands falling to her sides. “What? You really think I’d do that?! You’re not my prisoner; you’re my-.” The words die on her lips. And Ben shakes his head. 

“You think I’ll just stay with you after this- that I’ll just follow you around and do whatever you tell me to, even when you raze the Galaxy down to ash? Because I’m that blindly devoted to you?!” 

“I-.” She tries to speak, but the lies seem to stick in her throat. “I just told you-.” With a wave of his hand, Ben cuts her off. He feels stick- sick to his stomach. So furious he can barely see straight. 

“You think I’ll be here, waiting with open arms, after you do this? I’ve begged and pleaded, and demanded that you not do this, but you haven’t even been listening!” His voice rises in pitch. “You think I can just forget all that? That I can forget denying me over and over and doing the exact thing I’ve begged you not to?!” 

Her hands- her poor, small, scorched and burned hands shake so badly that she forces them into fists. She swallows thick, glancing down at them. Ben cannot fathom it. How she looks as small and fragile as a child and yet commands power even Palpatine himself would be proud of. 

He can’t help it. He doesn’t want to. Leaning down, he lowers his voice. He’s still upset but he needs her to look him in the eye while he says it. 

“This isn’t right Rey; you know it. You know… I know you’re still you, and I know you believe what you’re doing is a good thing. But you’re being manipulated, deceived. I know, I know what that’s like.” Pursing her lips, Rey shakes her head slightly; but Ben soothes her. “This plan of yours, those voices telling what to do- that’s not you. Those are ancient Sith spirits inside your mind, that entered your body when you killed The Emperor, controlling you from the inside.” Again, Rey shakes her head, as if confused. “I know it may sound like it, but that’s them talking to you for all this time…”

Swallowing, Rey’s eyes go distant, starring off into space- or maybe deep inside her own mind. Her hands are shaking again, and finally- FINALLY- he catches them in his own, and holds them still. 

“This isn’t entirely your fault, I know that.” She meets his gaze, confliction behind her irises. “But I can’t just stand by and let this happen. Because in this end, this is your choice. And if you choose this-.” He motions toward the gate “…you won’t have me.” 

Understanding dawns. Rey’s eyes go frantic. Before he knows what’s happening, she’s clutching at him desperately, pressing as close as possible. “No, Ben. Please… You don’t understand. I can’t; I-.” 

“Rey…” It takes all his will power to speak calmly, while inside he is alight with a whirlwind of fear and heartbreak. “I didn’t ask you to choose before. Maybe I should have. But maybe a part of me didn’t want to because I was afraid you wouldn’t pick me, and I’d lose you forever. Again…”

“No. Ben, I can’t-. I can’t-.”

“But now I have no other choice. I am asking you to choose, Rey. You can’t have both. I can’t- be with you… seeing what you’ve done. I can only bend so far before I snap.” His gentle fingers caress along her singed knuckles. 

“So, it’s me, or this dream the spirits in your head convinced you to believe in.” Rey is still clutching him, nails digging into his forearm so hard it may soon draw blood. “It’s your choice. You decide.” He steps back enough for her to see his helplessness again. “I can’t stop you.” 

Weeping now, Rey hauls him back to her, gazing up intently into his face. She keeps shaking her head. Her whole body is shaking. “Please…” She whispers. “Ben just listen to me a second. Please. You don’t understand.”

But he does. But he does. But he DOES. 

And still it breaks him apart inside, until he’s just fragments hidden behind two beautiful, sad, dark eyes. 

“I can’t. I can’t.” She whimpers. “Ben, I can’t let it go… I can try, like I did before, but it will never leave me alone. No matter where we go, no matter how happy we are, it will always be following me around, for the rest of my life. I’ll always be here, in this moment, so close… until eventually I can’t stand it anymore and I come right back to finish what I started.” And Ben realizes maybe he didn’t understand. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Yes I do. I just know it! I can go with you; we can run away. But it’s just delaying the inevitable. And one day, we’ll find ourselves back here again, in the same situation. Only that time, I won’t be able to say no.” 

The cracks inside are growing deeper, splitting and fragmenting, only to fall inside a chasm deep inside himself. But Ben swallows his grief enough to whisper, “So that’s it then. You’ve made your choice…” He begins to draw away, but she yanks him back. 

“No, no. No I-.” For a second, she grapples with her words. “I choose you! I have chosen you!” 

Carefully, Ben scans her face, barely daring to hope. He sees her lips move, sees her say the words… but there is no conviction in her eyes, in her smile. Impossibly, his heart drops even lower. She doesn’t mean it- she’s just stalling. But he can’t do this! He can’t let this go on any longer.

“I want you, I- I do. I just-.” 

“What do you want, Rey? Really!” His hand unconsciously curls around her waist, as he earnestly bends to meet her gaze. “Don’t you want a life- a real life, after all this? We could go anywhere, do anything. We could be whoever we want. We could leave this all behind. Can’t you see it…” Despite himself, he grins and leans his forehead against hers. “You and Me, just us; exploring the Galaxy, seeing everything it has to hold. We could live with Chewie of Kashyyyk.” 

Rey giggles and they both grin through their tears. “We could dine at expensive restaurants. I’ll show you around Naboo, where my Grandmother grew up.”Ben grips her tighter. And she nods against his forehead, eyes drifting closed. 

“We could have a real life together. We could have a home. A family… We could even have kids, if that’s what you want… And we’d raise them right; we’d take care of them. Rey, Rey…” He forces his gaze deep into hers, forces his mind into hers; pushing through all the tangled hurt and confusion. He knows it’s there, deep inside her. She must want this as badly as him! 

Please, please. He presses his own imagining of the future into their shared consciousness. 

“Don’t you see it?” Ben whispers. “Don’t you want that? We have our whole lives ahead of us. And I promise I won’t ever let anything take me away from you again. You just have to make that choice.” He feels her confliction rise, but he pushes it away. “Don’t you want that? I do.” A thick swallow. Even with how much she's hurt him, his soul is barred to her, ready to be stuck yet again. “Don’t you want me, Rey?”

With the gentles of touches, Ben wipes her tears away. Then he wraps his hands around her waist, splaying his fingers across her stomach. She swallows thickly. Her mind is still spinning at lightspeed, and she can’t control it. 

“I do. I want you”, she whispers, “Ben, more than anything in the whole- You have no idea… I just-.” 

No, no, no! He’s loosing her! 

“Rey, he pleads. Listen to me. You have to be certain. You can’t just-.”

A twinge. A poking, prodding sensation. In the palms of his hands. Under his hand? He feels something… something strange…

Shaking his head, he tries to continue on. “You can’t just have- have-”

What..? What is that? There’s something- something there. Something… 

Ben’s gaze falls, and Rey watches, frowning. Ben stares down at his hands where they’re wrapped around Rey’s waist, his thumbs on either side of her belly button. Its tingling; it’s- its-… 

Confusion creases his brow, and Rey frowns too, suddenly worried. “Ben, what is it?”

…it’s moving. 

Beating. 

Living…?

I can’t be! Ben gasps, the sound echoing around the empty hilltop. But, oh yes, it can… It can. 

Panic? Joy? All that registers is shock.

“Ben, what’s wrong?” Rey’s voice rips him back to reality, to the empty battlefield and the Gate of Whisperous. 

“Rey… you’re… you’re…” His voice is full of awe.

“I’m what?” She asks, still not getting it. 

“You’re pregnant.” 

Then she’s the one pulling away. Brow furrowing, she stares at him like he’s gone inside. When she begins shaking her head, she doesn’t stop. “What…? No. It can’t- can’t be. That’s crazy!” 

“No, it’s not. The first time… I thought, because you didn’t say anything, that you had an implant or something to keep you from pregnant, so I didn’t even think about protection. I was too desperate after waiting so long. I came inside you”- he tries not to blush at the words- “and you let me. But I didn’t mean to-. But I did, and now you’re…” Gaping down at her belly, he chokes out a laugh. 

Rey is still shaking her head. Solemn faced, she stares at the ground. “I wasn’t- in my right mind that night. I was so happy to finally be with you that I lost all judgement. I- I wanted you to come inside me…” 

She gazes up at him like she thinks he’s crazy, but this is the probably most sane he’s ever been, because he can feel it with deadly certainty. The child, only barely a child, stirring inside her; its Force signature already soft and steady, but growing stronger every day. “But Ben, no… I think I would know”, she says, “if I were-.”

Smiling though his tears, Ben takes her hands and cups them against her stomach. “You do know. You can feel it, just like I can. Reach inside, you know it’s true.” And she does. And they reach inside together. Ben feels it when she senses it, this beautiful life growing inside her, this life that they made together.

“It feels…” Eyes flying open, Rey gasps and gazes up at him with mixed shock and joy. “It feels like you- when I feel you with the Force, except smaller- except different…” Her eyes fall closed again, as she feels once more. “Feels like-.”

“Us”, Ben finishes. “Us. It’s us.” Their fingers wind together at her middle and then he pulls her up to cup his face. He kisses her hands; they’re hurt and stained, but they won’t be for long. He’ll help her heal. He’ll be there, every step of the way, to take care of her- to take care of both of them. A choked half sob, half chuckle erupts from his lips. 

Rey is still in disbelief. Slowly, she tests the words, “I am- pregnant. I’m pregnant. With your baby. Our baby. We’re going to be- Oh, Maker! We’re going to be parents.” For a moment there’s terror in her eyes, but Ben kisses his way down her wrist, soothing her. “I can’t even begin to process this…” 

“It’s ok. We have time.” Hot breaths and whispers of his dark hair tickle her forearm, his lips grinning against her delicate, burned skin. Happy. It is crazy that they’re both so unbelievably happy? “We have plenty of time”, he murmurs again. But after a moment, when Ben lifts his head to see her reaction, she’s not looking at him anymore. Her eyes are on the portal- the gate beside them, the swirling colors shining on her tear-streaked cheeks. 

“Rey…” 

She’s transfixed. And leaning- leaning closer as if being sucked it. It’s calling, pulsing and whispering some unknown language that speaks to only the deepest part of the mind. And now, it’s not the voices inside her head that are speaking to her, but the portal itself.

“Rey”, he tries again, a warning creeping into his tone. He watches as her hands lift, involuntarily, like she’d being pupated from the inside. But his brain doesn’t seem to be understanding, because it’s like he’s watching in slow motion, and he doesn’t get what she’s doing. Is she going to touch it? 

Then it clicks, and he’s moving; too slowly. The cultists around them bristle, but they too, are not close enough. “Rey, no!” Arms reaching to stop her, he yells. But at the same moment, there comes a sound from out in the darkness, and behind them. It’s a person, and they are very angry. 

The hairs rising on the back of his neck, he only has time to turn, and see Finn, grasping both his and Ben’s lightsabers in his outstretched fists; before the fearsome figure, bloody and dirty, comes charging right at them. 

Ben watches more in awe than terror, as fury flashes in the young Force-user’s eyes, joining with the lights from the portal and the light from blue and green sabers. Crossing both sabers, Finn pushes off with the Force; propelling himself through the air, legs flailing wildly, weapons ready to strike. To strike Rey.

To strike his child!

His child. 

How things can change in just a moment… One revelation sends your life spiraling out of control. One word can change everything. One moment, you’re just a man. And the next, you’re a Father, protector, caregiver- a family. 

You are changed forever. It’s not just you, anymore. It’s US. 

He would step in front, to guard, to shield them with himself, but Rey is already turning, rising to meet the challenge. Her outstretched hands find a new target. The rage is returning, filling her core, and rising to the surface. Standing there, Ben watches as sparks begin to form between her fingers. Soon, it will be released, and somehow, he knows no one- not even the strongest person in the Galaxy- can survive that roth. 

And so, Ben does the only thing he can think of.

He jumps. 

Through the air separating him and Rey, wrapping his arms about her waist and tucking her against his body as they fall. Through the light and charged air surrounding the Gate- 

-belatedly, he feels a short burst of lightning erupt from Rey’s fingers, and he prays he wasn’t too late- 

-through that blinding light, that buzzing whispering in his ears and in his head, resounding in the base of his skull. Through the Gate of Whisperous. 

And into whatever lies beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh ok I'm sorry for another cliff hanger! I just couldn't help myself. And I know with these more complicated and intense scenes, it's always easier to understand if the chapters are shorter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading again! As always, I love reading your comments, so let me know what your thoughts are. I'm so incredibly excited to be getting so close to the end and finally get to share this full story with you. This is my longest fic so far, so I really appreciate all the support! 
> 
> ANOTHER WARNING:  
> In the next chapter there will be threats of harm toward an unborn child. (not by Ben or Rey or any main character!) Nothing happens but it is something that's mentioned in the next chapter. So I did want to give you all an early warning. :)


	21. On the Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey still has no idea how this happened. Only moments ago, had she found out she was pregnant. And now, it’s already her instinct to protect it at all costs. It doesn’t make sense, but her fingers still curl around her stomach in protection- in promise; even though there’s nothing to feel.  
> Having a child- having a child come out of her, it all scares her. But the thing that scares her right now the most, is any harm coming to this fragile little thing inside her, that already means more to her than her own life.  
> Once their breathing levels out and Rey feels strong enough to stand, Ben helps her to her feet, and they finally get a better look at where the portal has brought them. Strangely, the Gate is nowhere in sight.  
> They came in through a gateway. But how in all hell, are they supposed to get out!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Sorry for taking longer to update than normal. I've been pretty busy and I wanted to get this chapter right, as it is one of the most important. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> A quick WARNING: There's lots of talk in this chapter about pregnancy (and the rest of the fic), so be warned.
> 
> And in the next chapter, there will be threats of harm toward an unborn child. (not by Ben or Rey or any main character!) Nothing happens but it is something that's mentioned in the next chapter. So I did want to give you all an early warning. :)

It had taken months. Months that she hardly has any recollection of. Months of paranoia, little to no sleep and rarely eating, fits of blinding rage that had her tearing about her chambers high in the tower on Regeeth II, screaming and smashing everything in sight; of a loneliness like she had never known in her entire pitiful, desolate existence. 

There had never been a time when she was alive, that Ben hadn’t been there- somewhere out there in the Galaxy, at least. But now there was an empty void where her heart, and her soul, should have been. No longer a reason to live- except for the knowledge that she carried the rest of their joined lifeforce inside her, and it had been his final act to give it all away to save her life. 

It took many months- she’d lost track of just how many- of experimenting and studying ancient Sith and Jedi texts, counseling with the Sith spirits who she had summoned, even reading almost everything on her grandfather’s personal back-up drives; until she finally found the answer she was looking for. There was no bringing Ben back, of that she was sure, but there was a still a way avenge him and make things right in the Galaxy. 

So, she’d begun her search for The Incarnate Sources of the Force. But in all that time of researching, she never learned anything about those Sources. Even when she found a list of them, she had no idea what to expect; no idea what they looked like or what power they contained. And, though she’d read all the information she could find on the Gate of Whisperous, it still gave her no indication of what to expect, or what could be on the other side. 

...

Now, Rey opens her eyes, as the dust settles around her; surprised when she finds herself in a place very like the one she just left. When she and Ben had sailed through the gateway and into the portal. 

Ben!

With a terrified glance around, she finds him lying just a few feet away, where he’d settled after taking most of the impact from their landing and rolling across the sand. He groans, lifting his chest off the earth to peer through the still settling dust at the world around them. 

Though, while the land outside the Gate was flat and empty, this seems to be the complete opposite.

The same rusty orange, but rocky, with abnormally shaped formations jutting up from the sand on all sides. In fact, they seem to by lying on the floor of a shallow canyon, branching off into other small offshoots and separate canyons carved through the rock. And while the air on the other side was clear and still as death, the air here seems to hum, and a thick mist hovers all around, snaking across the ground in tendrils; so dense that it is impossible to know if there’s a sky to this world or not. 

Shakily, Rey pushes herself to a sitting position, hands trembling and the burns on her arms and chest beginning to sting for the first time in weeks. All the fight and vibrato had been leached out of her the moment Ben pushed them through the archway, leaving her just on the edge of collapsing. 

Ben copies her movements, rising shakily from the ground and glancing over at her, concern washing over his features. They both reach for each other at the same moment. And then he is at her side, wrapping his arms around her and lowering his face to breath heavily against the back of her neck. “Are you ok?” He asks, guiding her to look at him. 

Silently, she nods, swallows around the thickness in her throat. “I’m alright.” She replies. “Are you?” Her shaking fingers frantically moving along his arms, his chest; searching for signs of damage. He nods. Pushing his nose into her hair, his own hands- somehow always steady, always stronger than her own- close around hers and grip tightly. 

They stay like that for a long moment, breathing each other in, basking in the realization that they are both alive and they are together. Ben nuzzles softly against her ear, and it’s this sweet gesture that it makes tears prick her eyes. Somehow, her hand finds its way to rest protectively against her flat stomach, and he joins her, lacing their fingers together above the tiny, little life just beginning to grow inside. 

Rey still has no idea how this happened. 

Only moments ago, had she found out she was pregnant. And now, it’s already her instinct to protect it at all costs. It doesn’t make sense, but her fingers still curl around her stomach in protection- in promise; even though there’s nothing to feel.

Having a child- having a child come out of her, being a mother, raising that child; it all scares her. But the thing that scares her right now the most, is any harm coming to this fragile little thing inside her, that already means more to her than her own life.

Once their breathing levels out and Rey feels strong enough to stand, Ben helps her to her feet, and they finally get a better look at where the portal has brought them. Strangely, the Gate is nowhere in sight. There must not be one on this side, Rey realizes, heartrate accelerating in fear. 

They came in through a gateway. But how in all hell, are they supposed to get out!?

“What is this place?” Ben asks, gaping as he gazes around. Confusion scrunching his brow, he keeps whipping his head around, trying to take it all in.  
“I have no idea”, Rey says, “I never found any information about this place while I was searching. Just the name.”

Ben nods thoughtfully, tugging on her wrist- which he still has a tight hold on- as he moves to where the gate should be hanging over the sand. Frowning, he shakes his head. “Looks like we won’t be getting out of here any time soon.” He spots Rey’s discarded double-bladed lightsaber lying on the ground a few feet away and reaches out to pull it to him with the Force. 

Only, it doesn’t come… It just sits there, covered in dirt, unmoving as Ben strains toward it, grunting with effort. Raising his sweated-beaded forehead, he glances over at her in disbelief. “I can’t do it.” 

Rey frowns. That doesn’t seem possible. She extends her own arm and reaches out with the Force and- and the same thing happens. Which is, nothing happens… The lightsaber doesn’t budge. Rey tries again, but something feels off; like she’s blocked mentally- like the can no longer access the Force. 

Reaching for their bond, she goes to see if Ben is feeling the same thing too. Except, she suddenly gasps when she finds she can’t feel him. Always- always, since their first meeting, when they were on the same planet, she could always feel him! But now… nothing! And it’s not like when he’s blocking her from his mind or when he’s out of range, but it is like his presence in the Force has been extinguished.

Like when he fell cold to the stones on Exegol and faded away all together. When he died! 

Rey cries out, and Ben lurches toward her. This silence. This cold, dark nothingness, where he should be. Where the Force should be! It frightens her so much, she suddenly fears they might both be dead, trapped in a hellish afterlife separated from the Force, paying for their sins for the rest of eternity!

“Rey! What’s wrong? What’s going on?” 

“I can’t feel you! In the Force- our bond. I can’t feel it.” Frowning, Ben steps closer. He closes his eyes and grits his teeth, searching. But when their gazes meet again, he looks just as frightened as she feels. 

“I can’t feel you either. And I can’t use the Force!” He swallows thickly, eyes darting around. “What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know”, Rey lamely supplies, terror rising and rising; making her voice squeak with fright. “It must have happened when we came through the portal.”  
Ben just gapes down at her, struggling to comprehend. “But what? It is this place? Are we dead!? Why can’t we use the Force?!” 

His words ring hollowly in the silence. The air is buzzing, charged with electricity, and there’s something sinister hiding within it. Something is very, very not right here… 

Rey is about to say so, that they need to get out of here right this moment, but then-

“Because, this is our domain, and we control each and every thing inside our realm. Even you…”

Silence. Both Rey and Ben freeze; neither even dare to breathe. 

Slowly, they both pivot in the sand, toward where a voice had just echoed toward them from out of the mist, answering their question. But there’s nothing there.

Hearts thumping away in their chests, they gaze into a foggy gap in the rocks- probably leading to another canyon, like the one they’re in. They’re expecting the person- if it was a person- or thing to emerge from the gloom. But nothing does. And the more seconds go by in silence, the more terrified they become. 

In fact, Rey has almost convinced herself she’d just imagined the voice, when it speaks again. This time, it seems to come from all directions, bouncing off the rocks on all sides and filling the narrow space with words, until they begin to sound like hundreds of people all speaking in unison. The voice is sexless and flat. No inflection, no change in tone. Just soft, silky, and radiating power and authority.

“We draw our strength form the Force, but here, in our own realm; we control everything, and even the Force bends to our will. You will have no use for it here.” The voice- or voices? - says. It doesn’t sound threatening; it doesn’t sound anything at all. 

And still no sign of the speaker.

Ben and Rey draw closer together. He wraps a protective arm around her waist, narrowed eyes darting around the rock spires and sandstone walls, searching for something- that can be attacked and fought- even if just with his bare fists- but none appears. 

“Who are you?” Ben demands, empty hand clenching, itching for a lightsaber. Without the Force for the first time in his life, he feels exposed and helpless. “Show yourself!” 

The voice that is a thousand voices replies, “We are the Whisperers. Ambassadors of the Force, existing in the gray place between Light and Dark; keeper of the gateways between your realm and the Force’s. Separate, but of one mind and goal. We do all in the name of peace and of the Force, but It does not interfere in our workings. We know much. See all. We are the Guardians of the Force.” 

Ben and Rey both gape. This is too much information to process in a few seconds. 

Ben finds himself blinking in confusion. Guardians of the Force? The Whisperers? He’s never heard of such a thing- though that doesn’t mean that it isn’t true.  
Suddenly, Rey speaks up from his side. “You’ve been watching all this time? Then you must have known what I was planning to do…”

“We did.” Is the only reply, and it still makes him jump when it comes at them from all directions, even when he knows it’s coming.

Narrowing her eyes, Rey cocks her head to the side. She frowns. “And you were going to let me do it?” She asks and is only met with silence. “You knew what was happening, but you didn’t come out? Weren’t you going to stop me?” 

A low hum in the air; it makes the ground shudder and dust bloom into the air. Almost like a chuckle. Is this powerful, invisible being laughing at her?

“No”, the voices reply. “We were not. There was no need. We knew you would not be able to go through with it.” 

She’s still week- without the Force to give her strength- but a fire, a challenge, still rises in her eyes. Rey grits her teeth. “Well, you’re wrong. I was going to do it! I was only seconds away from using all the Dark power I had to blow this place to hell.” Flinching slightly, she turns to face Ben. “If you hadn’t pulled me through the gate, I would have released all my lightning. The moment I saw Finn running at us…” Her mouth falls still, and she glances down. “…all of that rage came back. I would have destroyed us all.” 

But Ben just squeezes her hand in reassurance. It’s too late to worry about what might have been, or what she had been going to do. All of that is behind them now. And maybe he should care, but he doesn’t. They have much bigger and much more prevalent problems right now.

Again, that low humming noise- that chuckle rumbles through the air, raising all the hairs on his arm. What’s so funny, he thinks. Are they a joke to these mystical beings? Is that all they are? Do they even know who they are! The last Skywalker and a descendant of Darth Sidious; the Dyad in the Force. He can feel Rey’s annoyance building too. 

“I’ve seen this place before”, he starts, even before the cold laughter has ceased. “I saw it in a vision. I heard voices. Your voices. I saw the Gate, and that’s how I knew to come here.” A glance at Rey. “We both did… But, that can’t have been coincidence.” Ben narrows his eyes. “It’s like someone wanted us to see, wanted us to come…”

After a heavy silence, the voices answer. “You are correct. Someone did indeed want that.” Still, despite the almost laughter, there is no inflection or emotion in their tone. Just dull, and dead, and soft. “I was us. We imparted that vision to both of you. We showed you exactly what you had been looking for.” 

Beside him, Rey clenches her fists. These Whisperers are talking, but they’re not really explaining anything! She wants- no needs- answers! 

“But why would you send us a vision”, she questions. “If you knew what I was planning, why would you call us here? Was this a trap…” She glances at Ben, noting the grave expression on his face. “Or did you want us to come here to- to destroy the Force for you?” 

“Of course, we wanted you to come here”, the voices boom. “What do you think we have been doing this whole time? On the contrary, we have toiled away many long years to finally bring you here, to us.” Confusion flashes in the couple’s eyes. Ben blinks rapidly and Rey begins shaking her head; she doesn’t stop, even as the all-encompassing voices continue. “We have been waiting for you, Rey Palpatine and Ben Solo Skywalker. We have been waiting more centuries than you can fathom, for the prophesied Dyad in the Force.” 

Teeth bared, Rey speaks very low in her throat, glaring into the mist like she can actually see them. “What do you mean… What do you want with us?”

As they stand there, in on the floor of the ravine, gripping each other by the hand, the presence- the power of the Whisperers seems to draw closer; swirling around them in the soft winds and mist. Ben finds himself dragging Rey tighter against himself. It feels like a hundred pairs of eyes are watching them from all sides, but when he turns to glance over his shoulder, trying to follow the ominous presence, there is nothing there. 

The voices are louder now too, startling both of them when they rumble out of the empty air only feet from their faces. “Back, oh so long ago”, they say, “when your Galaxy was still very young, the Force began to connect with your kind, to grant them power in exchange for their help in keeping the balance inside your universe. One such manifestation of these powers was the gift of sight; not just of the things that are, but of the things that can and will occur in the future. These vessels of the Force were called Oracles, and no sooner had they begun to appear, did they being spouting prophecies.” 

“We waited many hundreds of years, but the moment we heard the prophecy of the Dyad in the Force, the two souls that shall become like one soul in the eyes of the Force, but will wield their combined powers, as well as a power that had never been seen in the Galaxy before; we knew this was the opportunity we had been looking for. Since then, we have been eagerly awaiting your arrival, though we had not expected to have to wait this long.”

“You have, of course, have heard of the prophecy of the one will would bring balance to the Force.” There is a moment of confusion on Rey’s part, but Ben immediately nods. He clenches his fists, his throat suddenly tight. 

“Yes. That was my Grandfather. He did bring balance to the Force, but not quite in the way the Jedi had expected.” 

There is an almost rustling noise- almost of approval- deep within the mist. “Indeed”, the voices agree. “We suspected that the prophecy of the Dyad may be closely tied that of the Chosen one. But there was no way to be certain until the Chosen One appeared. We knew both halves of the Dyad would have to be born from powerful bloodlines, which had dabbled in both the Light and Dark sides of the Force; near equal parts of both. So, when the Skywalker and Palpatine bloodlines came into contact, believed we were on the right path.”

“But we were wrong about which individuals the Force had chosen. We were too early. After your families first came into contact, when Darth Sidious and Anakin Skywalker met, we assumed the Dyad would come from the next generation. We believed it would be Skywalker’s daughter and Palpatine’s son. Watching closely, we kept waiting for the two to finally connect in some way and reveal the bond, but they never did. And soon, it became obvious we were mistaken; when Leia married and gave birth, and when young Palpatine fell in love with another, and then was murdered.”

At the word ‘murdered’, Rey flinches. And Ben only tightens his grip on her hand. If only they still had their connection, he would probably sense the same thoughts and questions bubbling up inside her head, as there are in his. 

This all feels a bit icky. Thinking about the possibility that their parents could have been the two parts of the Dyad- that they may have had the same relationship as him and Rey! Just thinking about these strange invisible beings watching all this happening and trying to predict people’s lives…

After giving a moment for this all to settle in, the Whisperers begin again. “And so, we gave up on the Skywalker and Palpatine bloodlines. For you see, we believed the Palpatine line had died with your father, Rey Palpatine. You were hidden almost too well on Jakku, hidden even from us; for the Force had not awakened in you yet. That only happened when you first met the fallen Solo boy.”

“The moment you two came into contact, there was a great disturbance in the Force, one such as had never occurred before. It caught us off guard. But we quickly rejoiced, and began crafting a plan, centered around the two of you, this time. But…” 

Was there’s a twinge of emotion in the voices, Ben thinks. It sounds almost like a sigh, when the Whisperers pause for a breath. They sound almost regretful when they say, “But, a year passed without any interactions between the Dyad. And then, Darth Sidious emerged, and Ben Solo died…” 

“All hope”, the dull, joyless voices become just the slightest bit less joyful, “was lost.” Then a pause. “Or was it…?” 

Wait a minute… Wait a minute! 

“Wait a minute”, Ben exclaims. He frowns, glances at Rey, then turns back to where he assumes the Whisperers are hiding in the fog. “You didn’t answer the question! You still haven’t told us why you brought us here in the first place! What do you want from us?”

But it’s almost like they’re ignoring him. Because, a second later, they’re starting up again. But they’re no answering his question!

“We saw what that did to you, Rey; the effect the loss of the other half of the Dyad had on you. We saw your grief, your brokenness and emptiness, and we knew we could use that to our advantage.” Rey tries not to let anything show on her face, but in spite of herself, she grimaces a little. Just the mention of Ben’s death, of that time… it hits her like a bucket of cold water. She shudders in Ben’s strong hold, and his thumb comfortingly caresses the small of her waist. 

“So, a new plan began to form inside our shared consciousness… It was easy to slip into the mind of your young Force-sensitive friend. He believed it was the Force guiding him to the Sacred Jedi texts and the temple with the Sacred Orb, that if used correctly could bring back the dead from within the Force. But it was us. We guided him every step of the way, and we are surprised that you did not even question his ability to resurrect you. He never would have been able to do it without us, but we needed him to have a good reason.”

“Piercing Rey Palpatine’s mind was more difficult. A challenge really. There was no way we could have done it without her detecting the invasion; or at the very least, causing suspicion. So, we stoked her conflicted soul, and masqueraded as Spirits of the Sith- the very spirits your Grandfather warned would enter you after you killed him-.”

“What!?” Rey cries, at the same time as Ben stutters, “No! You’re wrong. That’s a lie! The Oracle told me to my face that Rey had the Sith Spirits inside her head, controlling her and making her do this!” 

“No. Those Spirits died along with Sidious himself on Exegol. There was only ever us.”

Ben isn’t sure if its indignation or just disgust that curls his fists and stiffens his muscles for an attack. Beside him, Rey seethes with anger. “So, you control the Oracle, then?”

“We have no power over the Oracle, or any that have ever lived in this Galaxy. Their power is similar to our own, but no less. We have the power to see the things that are, right now, in this present time, and manipulate them; but only an Oracle can glimpse the future. Very cautiously, we influenced the Eye of Webbish Bog to believe that there were Spirits of the Sith inside Rey, so that you would be led in the right direction.”

“Then, all we had to do was set both parties; Rey and her cultist forces, and you and your friends, on a wild goose chase that would bring you right back here to us.”

“Ok, hang on!” Suddenly, Rey is pulling away from Ben and starting toward the wall of swirling mist, pointing a finger in its general direction. Not that it makes any difference; the voices are coming from all around them. But makes her feel better to pretend to have something to threaten. “Why would you want me to destroy the Force? That makes no sense at all! Aren’t you supposed to be protecting it?” 

There is that laugh again. Mirthless and harsh, without the any real emotion behind it. Ben watches from behind as Rey goes rigid at the sound. She glowers into the empty air. 

“First of all, it was never our intention to destroy the Force.” There’s a heavy emphasis on the word destroy. “It was a fool’s errand we sent you on, an impossible task. The Force was here before your Galaxy was born, and it will be here long after each of us perish. You could no more destroy the Force than you could move a star system with your bare hands. But furthermore, we would never have allowed you to get that far. And even if you had, eliminating the Incarnate Sources of the Force would not be as bad as we led you all to believe, though it would cause weakness in the connection between the two realms and may have weakened the power of some sensitives in the Galaxy. But that was never going to happen. We draw our strength from the Force, and this entire mission has been orchestrated to protect it further, so we would never weaken that connection.” 

These Bastards! These arrogant, asshole bastards! Everything Ben and Rey have been through, everything they dragged their friends though; it has all been one giant hoax?! They took advantage of Rey’s grief, made her believe that not murdering her Grandfather had been for nothing, and drove her to this fragile, broken state she is in now- forcing her to unnecessarily use Force Lightning over and over again! 

Ben isn’t just furious! He’s feral. Unable to hold back to protectiveness he feels, he surges forward, placing himself between Rey and these monsters. He had thought they had already faced the worst the Galaxy had to offer- like Snoke and Palpatine- but now he sees he was gravely mistaken. 

“Bastards”, Ben hisses under his breath. 

“What was that?”

Grinding his teeth, he speaks up. “Fucking bastards! All of you!” But the Whisperers only remain silent, seemingly completely unbothered by his outburst. They seem too calm- too controlled. It makes Ben want to toss a rock into the mist with the Force, just to see if he hits anything. But unfortunately, even the Force has failed him this time…

And this is all too complicated. None of what they’re saying is making sense! They’re dancing around something, alluding, but not letting it come to the forefront just yet. Probably, because once they do, both Rey and Ben will be too upset to talk about this rationally. He glances at Rey, who seems to be thinking along the same lines. 

I am starting to have a VERY BAD feeling about this… He whispers under his breath. 

“But why didn’t you just resurrect me yourselves and then ask us to come here; or better yet, just come to us? Why all this unnecessary work and planning?” He demands. “Why send us on this wild goose chase if all you needed was for us to end up here?”

“Because…” And even the Whisperers hesitate a second to be sure of what they’re saying. “Because we had reason to believe you would not come willingly when you found out why we needed you…” There’s a heavy silence, in which all Ben can hear is the roaring of blood in his ears. “And we needed certain things to transpire before we were ready to receive you.”

Rey is going to be sick. She begins to feel sick, in this moment, and she knows it has nothing to do with the child only beginning to grow inside her. Dread is a razor’s edge against her skin; it cuts down to her bones. 

Even as the words come out, she’s willing them to stop. But she says in a soft, level tone, “What did need to happen before coming here?” 

“We needed you to make a child…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! AHHHHH! I'm seriously having so much fun with this. I'm not even shy to say that i really love this story and I can't wait to share the rest with you. I hope you are enjoying it too. If you are, i'd really love to know. :) 
> 
> Sorry (but not really :P) for the cliffhanger.


	22. The Whisperers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Palpatine sees red.
> 
> In an instant, her gold and crimson double lightsaber is in her hand, snatched from the ground where its lay discarded this whole time. She launches toward the curtain of mist, snarling between clenched teeth.
> 
> The tip of her saber just dips beyond the wall of mist, and immediately, she is thrust back with a blast only comparable to her own Force lightning. She lands on her back, cushioned by the sand, but it still sends a spike of pain up her backbone.A pair of hands are on her arm a moment later, warm and calloused and sure.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a quick !!WARNING!!!  
> !There are mentions of and threats of death(miscarriage) and harm towards an unborn baby. (Not by Ben, Rey or any of the main characters) And threats of harm toward a pregnant woman. And the pregnant woman does experience pain related to her pregnancy.  
> There will also be mentions of this in the next chapter too. !
> 
> Ahhh ok, sorry guys for taking so long to update. Things have been crazy for me lately. I got a new job, which is exciting! It’s as a COVID screener. It’s funny because I lost my old job cause of COVID and the I got my new job because of it. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Those words are still ringing in Ben’s ears when Rey breaks the silence. He just barely hears her.

“What?!” She half gasps, half growls, teeth flashing and hands automatically flying to her stomach. A gesture that both feels incredibly strange but also instinctual. Her fist response is anger, but her main concern, to protect the ones she loves, is stronger. 

“What do you mean?” Asks Ben. He feels as though the wind has just been knocked out of him. It feels like he’s just fallen back into that chasm in the Emperor’s throne room on Exegol, back on that ledge with broken ribs and leg, and the devestation of Rey’s absence hollow in his chest.

“What do you want with our child?!” Rey demands, almost at the same time. Nostrils flaring, she waits for an answer, but the Whisperers- or whatever they are- seem in no hurry to reassure her. They’re probably waiting for her to calm down.

But Rey is not going to.

She keeps glaring up into the foggy air, until they finally sigh, “Long ago, when the prophecy of the dyad in the force was first spoken, we heard it and knew in that instant, that if the dyad would happen to be made up of a male and female- which was likely because it these types of things tend to end up that way; equal but opposite; that a child resulting from their coupling would be the potentially strongest Force-user the Galaxy has ever seen.” Somehow the voices seem to increase in number, and with that, their frenzied excitement grows.

“Forget chosen ones.” They hiss. “Forget children raised by Jedi knights… This person could wield an unfathomable amount of power. If they are raised under the correct conditions, that is.”

Now that Rey thinks about it, she supposes that makes sense. When Ben revealed that she was pregnant, the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. But it does make sense; look at Ben, look at her. Their very bond is the result of the strength of their families in the Force and events that had shaped the Galaxy. It is only logical that their child would have that same kind of impact.

Honestly, she’s not sure which scares her most; what crazy potential power her baby could have, or how interested and invested these Whisperers are in it.

The voices give them no time to process the information they’ve been given. “That is when we began crafting our plan”, they explain. “We needed to know exactly what to do when the Dyad arrived, and how, if there was no sexual or romantic attraction between the two, we could coerce them.”

Glancing over at Rey, Ben frowns. What in the stars are these creatures talking about, he thinks. Are they really saying they were going to make the Dyad sleep together, even if they didn’t want to?! 

“But it turns out there was no need for that. It only makes sense that such an intimate bond would result in such a relationship.” The voice right in Ben’s right ear, titters a little before saying, “We did not even need to influence either of you for your sexual relationship to begin… Although, we did take great care to make sure there was no contraception involved, by keeping Rey’s mind occupied by the spirits of the Sith.”

Ben swears under his breath. Then much louder.

“What the hell!” He shouts. He is so angry, he could scream! “What is wrong with you people!?” Whole body quivering, he shakes his fist in the general direction of the voices. “Come out! Come out right now, so I can show you what I think of disgusting perverts who like to watch people having private sex!”

And Rey exclaims, “You were watching us!?”

“We assure you, we received no pleasure from doing so, other than, the joy in knowing that our plan was finally coming to fruition, after all such a long time. We are, in fact, not capable of feeling sexual pleasure of any kind. Our physical manifestations do not have any of the necessary organs.”  


“Yeah, well I don’t care!” Ben shouts. “Don’t you ever do that again! Why I ought to- I ought to…” He glares at a nearby rock wall and briefly has an urge to smash his fist into it. That’s what he wants to do to these Whisperers’ ‘physically manifested’ heads! “Come on out and fight”, he taunts again. “I know I can’t use the Force anymore, but I’ll take my chances!”  


Rey’s hand is on his arm, holding him back from stupidly getting himself killed. Guiding it back to his side, she curls her fingers around his fist, holding him firmly. They exchange a look, and Rey just shakes her head. “Keep it cool, Solo”, she quiets him, before turning back to the misty rocks.  


“But this still isn’t making sense”, she says, “You had this big plan. You went to all this trouble. But the baby won’t be born for many months. Why did you bring us here, now? Why not wait tell us everything until after she or he is born? Or just come to us yourselves.”  


“Because”, the Whisperers reply, “that would be too late. An agreement must be reached today, and no later, so that we can begin taking the necessary steps.” If the disembodied voices weren’t sinister enough, the air seems to grow thicker, the mists swirling, moving- as if whatever horrible manifestation these creatures take is lurking just beyond.

“Is that so”, Rey snaps. She glances to Ben to make sure he’s just as disturbed by this whole thing as she is. From the look on his face, she knows he is. “There aren’t going to be any necessary steps for you to be taking. It is only Ben and my business getting ready for the baby. Not yours, or anybody else’s!”

“Oh, we know…” And there’s that mirthless tinge of humor again, in the collective of voices. It sends a shudder down her spine. “That is why we brought you here. Why we set this entire plot in motion; from Solo’s resurrection, to the fertilized seed in your womb.” Again, a long and heavy pause. “We need your permission before we can take over full responsibility for raising the child.”

Rey Palpatine sees red.

In an instant, her gold and crimson double lightsaber is in her hand, snatched from the ground where its lay discarded this whole time. She launches toward the curtain of mist, snarling between teeth clenched so hard it hurts. And Ben is crying out at the same moment.

The tip of her saber just dips beyond the wall of mist, and immediately, she is thrust back with a blast only comparable to her own Force lightning. She lands on her back, cushioned by the sand, but it still sends a spike of pain up her backbone. She gasps as she tries to sit up. A pair of hands are on her arm in a moment, warm and calloused and sure.  


“Are you ok? Are you ok?” Ben asks softly, shaking hands running along her body, checking for injuries that he wouldn’t even hesitate to heal, if he still had the Force.  


NO, NO, her mind screams. She is not ok! Not even close. They’re suck in this place, at the Whisperers’ mercy, and they want her- her child- their child… But shakily, she nods.  


“You’re going to pay for that.” Helping her to her feet, Ben catches up the saber and turns round to face the fog that she’d tried to pierce, still on one knee beside her. “I swear on all the stars in the Galaxy and on the blood of my dead family, that you will never lay a hand on her again. And we will never, EVER let any of you anywhere near our child!”  


There’s only silence. So, Ben takes that as an invitation to keep going. “We’re going to get out of here someday- somehow. And I will have the Force again. And when I’m sure we’re safe, I’m coming back here to kill you.”  


Unfortunately, the Whisperers seem to have no interest in exchanging threats. They stay quiet as Ben helps Rey to her feet. Its only anger holding her together, now. Without it coursing hot in her veins, she would crumble. She turns on the misty wall, barring her teeth.  


“Did you hear him”, she demands. “Do you understand; you are never getting near our baby- let alone, being responsible for raising them. Ben and I are perfectly capable of doing that ourselves. And we will do whatever it takes to protect them, which includes protecting them from monster like you.”  


Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ben nod and feels a wave of relief rush though her. She leans into his solid heat beside her, letting him hold some of her burden.  


She’s so done with this. She’s so tired. And it seems that this day- or night- or nightmare- is nowhere near over…  


After the quiet stretches a bit longer, and the Whisperers are sure both Rey and Ben are finished, they speak again. “I don’t think you understand the potential this child has, young Palpatine. The importance of every day- every moment of its rearing. Unlimited potential, young Rey. Unlimited power! But the child must be groomed correctly if they are to reach that level of power.” Rey narrows her eyes. “Do you understand what unlimited means?” They give her no chance to respond. “Unfathomable. Even for us…”  


“You have heard of the Prime Jedi?” Again, they don’t let her answer. “Well, that same Prime Jedi- optimal Jedi- superior Jedi is modeled off of what this fetus has the potential to be. Near perfect. The Perfect Jedi. They can finally bring balance to the Force; real balance! And balance to the Galaxy! They will command both Light and Darkness, will wield them in perfect control and harmony. A Gray Jedi. Not Light; not Dark. The true Guardian of the Force!”  


It is Ben who speaks first, a new note to his tone; one he hasn’t used to address the Whisperers yet. “I’ve heard about this”, he says carefully. He glances at Rey. “But I had no idea such a thing was possible...” Narrowing, his eyes darken. “How do we know you’re not just manipulating us again. How can we trust anything you say?”  


“Because, we have no reason to lie to you. We are only acting in the best interest of everyone here.” They seem to draw closer, more urgent. Tendrils of the smoky smog stretch from the wall, curling around the toes of the couple’s boots. “If the upbringing of this child is not the perfect conditions, it could mean catastrophe for not just us, but the entire Galaxy. But we have been preparing for this for millennia. We know what must be done and the ideal circumstances for raising such a special young person.”  


“Training must begin immediately. At least, within the first five years. That time in the most crucial in a child’s life. They will need access to all the knowledge in the universe that we have here, beyond the Portal, to study far away from the distractions of the mortal realm. This is the only way. We have exhausted every other option. This is the way…”  


Ben squeezes his eyes tight shut. His head hurts. His mind is all muddled; he can’t even think strait. This is crazy! These creeps are actually insane if they think either he or Rey are going to go along with this.  


But then, a tiny voice whispers in his mind, ‘They’ve been around from hundreds of years. They are more powerful than any person or creature I have ever come in contact with. Maybe they actually know what they’re talking about’…  


Cursing himself, he shakes his head. He needs to stop thinking and just get them the hell out of here before something bad happens!  


“This is the way it must be. We are not asking, you see. We are demanding your cooperation in this matter. There is no room for wounded feelings or selfish mistakes.”  


“Oh, so you’re demanding now”, Rey says, suddenly. “You’re going to try to take our baby with force?” She grimaces, and she yanks her hand out of Ben’s to shake it in the air. “Why didn’t you just wait for it to be born and then come and take it from us, if you weren’t really going to give us a choice?!”  


“Because we need complete access to the child’s mind, to their soul and connection to the Force.” They explain. “The only that can work is with the Force guiding us. It will not help unless permission is granted by those charged with the child’s care at birth, so that we can become their new caregivers. We also do not want to cause the child any form of trauma in their most formative years, such as ripping them out of the arms of their parents or killing you in from of them. So, this was our most peaceful solution.”  


“On the day the child ages to four years old, you two- the parents- will bring them back here, to the gate, and relinquish the child to us. You will say goodbye. Then, the Whisperers will protect and guide them in all the things they should know. We will keep it separate from the rest of the Galaxy, but we will allow you both to visit every couple years, to show your love and support.”  


“Every couple years!!!” Ben and Rey both cry out at the same time. The idea is so ridiculous that Rey almost laughs out loud.  


“And you expect us to just go agree to this”, she gapes at hidden beings. “You seriously planned all this around the that the parents would just hand their kid over to some invisible assholes who have been manipulating their whole life?!” She does chuckle now, harsh and dangerously closing to exploding. “Either you know absolutely nothing about people, or you’re just in plain denial! Because no parent in their right minds would even think about accepting your little master plan!”

“But that is the only time you will be able to see your child.” Beseeching now, the Whisperers are trying their best to sound reasonable. “When the Guardian is old enough and has completed their training, and they are ready to go out into the Galaxy, with our blessing, they may do as they please. You can see them as often as you like. She or he may even want to come and live with you again!”  


“Is that’s supposed to just make up for missing their whole childhood?” Ben growls. “Is that supposed to persuade us that we can trust you not to screw up our child for life by isolating them and forcing them to train as some special Jedi? That sounds a lot like how I grew up, and look how I turned out!” When they don’t answer, his eyes darken. 

His voice sends shivers down Rey’s spine- and not the good kind.  


“Because already told you there is no way in hell we’re agreeing to this. We don’t care what you threaten to do to us.” He glances at Rey and she nods. “And if our kid is special, we will do everything in our power to make sure they grow up safe and teach them as best as we can. But we’ll raise her or him the right way!” 

”This is our final answer.”  


“I wouldn’t be so sure…” The voices reply, taking on an even icier tone. “We could kill you.” Rey sucks in a harsh breath and Ben goes tense beside her. “We could keep you here and kill you once the child is born. Then there would not even be a chance of seeing your precious baby again.” 

Ben’s swallow is the only sound in the silence, and despite the swirling mists, there isn’t a breath of wind in the entire place.  


“Or we could kill your lover”, they address Rey now. Skin prickling, she can feel their attention fixed on her. “We could slowly torture him, make you watch until he bleeds, until his body is drained of life and mangled at your feet.”  


Bile stings the back of her throat. They haven’t even been that specific but the image is still in vivid in her mind, sickening her, making her blood go cold. But she can’t let them see that. She squares her jaw and stares ahead unwaveringly. 

“But then you’ll have no leverage over me. There will be nothing stopping me from doing my best to kill you.”  


“None... Besides your child.” They reply simply. Ben growls deep in his throat, but they ignore him. “We could kill the child, even before it has left your womb.”  


“No”, Rey breathes, too frightened now to keep up a bold face, “You can’t! You need it.”  


The voices seem to sigh. The first hint of annoyance. “You would just make another.”  


“We wouldn’t cooperate”, says Rey and Ben says, “There’s no way you could make us.”  


“Unfortunately for you, we can. We have ways of making it happen. It would not be very pleasant for any of us, but we could do it.”  


Ben curses, “You sick fucking bastards!”  


A curse is on Rey’s lips, her gut roiling and her fingers clenched so tight it should hurt, but the horror and fear inside her are so overwhelming she can’t even feel it. 

“And before you even attempt”, the Whisperers continue, “Time is not an issue for us, and you will find that we have a great amount of patience. But we have no idea what they would do to you or if you’d survive. So, we think you need to ask yourselves: would you really be to sit there and watch your child die, even if they are unborn?”  


These creatures are MONSTERS! Soulless, vile, the most inhumane beings Rey has even met-! And Darth Sidious was her grandfather!  


She feels sick. She’s going to puke!  


Her legs feel like they’re going to buckle under her; her vision is blurring with either tears or rage, and she can’t tell which. She barely registers Ben heaving great, angry shuddering breaths beside her. When she turns to face him, she finds him just as appalled as she. “They- they can’t do that”, she breathes, half hopefully gazing up at him. “They can’t!” She insists, but the hard line on his lips is the only answer she receives.  
These things are monsters. And even beyond their threat, Rey knows, she and Ben can never, NEVER give up their baby to be raised by these horrible things!

“But we do not want to kill them”, the Whisperers confess, “We do not want to kill you either. A child should know its parents, at least to an extent. They should know they are loved and supported. The problem with chosen ones that have come before is; either they have none or only one parent and develop issues early on, like abandonment, that can end in their downfall later, making them unstable and unbalanced. But sometimes too much influence from the parents is the problem. They have to deal with expectations and baggage from their ancestry. Or they are abused. Or they are coddled too much. There must be balance. A little loving influence from their family, having no reason to think anything is wrong with the situation, but solitude and separation to grow on their own too. This is key.”  


“That is the very reason we lured you here. You are necessary in this child’s life. We understand you want what is best for the little one…” The Whisperers actually sound like they’re having a difficult time maintaining such a civil tone, but Ben does sense a truthfulness behind their words that makes him even more furious. “That is why, you are going to vow right now that on the exact day your child turns four years old, that you will willingly bring them here to us. Accordingly, we will promise that we will care for them and raise them in the correct way.”  


“No! Fuck, no!” Ben yells, startling Rey. Advancing on the wall of fog, he pauses just before his nose touches it, remembering what happened last time. “We already told you no. We gave you our answer. Your threats don’t change a thing!”  


A pause.  


“Then you won’t mind if we kill you, just to make sure…”  


With a gasp, Ben is wrenched into the air, Rey’s lightsaber flying from his hand. His muscles go taught as a bowstring, his back bending to the point of pain. He’s been in this position more than once, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable, being flung around like a puppet. 

And last time, he hadn’t made it out alive...

Rey cries out as Ben stiffens in the air, scrambling for the saber in the sand where it had fallen. But when she turns around, still on her knees, she finds she has no strength left to fight. And she would never get there in time anyway. Slowly, she drops the lightsaber and her hands fly up; she has not an ounce of power left to spend. Terror stabs through her chest. She tries to reach for him, “Please”, but she bites back her begging as a shard of rock breaks off a nearby boulder and flies into the air just before Ben’s throat.  


Silence makes the air heavy. Drawing her hand back, she hugs her fist to her chest, eyes darting to the needle-sharp tip poised less than an inch from his jugular. She has to be very, very careful. Despite the adrenaline roaring through her, she calmly turns to the Whisperers; ready to beg, negotiate, or even threaten if she has to.  


She will not lose him! Not again! She will die herself- she will watch every person in this system perish- before she will let that happen!  


But suddenly, the sharp rock drops and clatters to the sand at Ben’s feet. Rey stares with wide, disbelieving eyes as he is lowered back to the ground. With the sudden vice grip suddenly released, he stumbles forward to catch himself, but Rey dives forward to grab him. He leans on her heavily a moment, as they both gasp against each other, until they finally turn to face their tormentors.  


“Or…” the voices begin, softly, “perhaps, we have a better idea. You are right, Rey. We do want to keep him around, just in case.” Just as quickly as the relief rushed in, it is sucked out of them. Like the vacuum of space when the outer doors are opened. “If you won’t consent, we will just keep you here and then take the baby when it is born. We might even let you live, if you don’t give us too much trouble.”  


Rey smirks up at the mist. “Ha”, she cries, voice still wavering the slightest bit from almost losing Ben moments ago. “Jokes on you then! That won’t be for another eight or nine months. You’re just going to keep us locked in here, waiting around till they baby is born?” She senses a ripple in the fog and chuckles again. “By then, we will have figured a way out. And then, we’ll have our powers back!”  


“No, you are correct. It would be foolish to keep you here so long.” They reply. “So, we’ll just have to speed up your pregnancy.”  


She gapes back at the voices. No! That’s not- that’s not-. To her right, she hears her own thoughts echoed as Ben says, “You can’t do that!”  


He scoffs. But a part of him- the part that has heard tales of the Force’s extradinory power; stories even more ludicrous than this his whole life- whispers. ‘But what if they can…‘  


“We will make a deal with you. We will let you leave; go home and prepare for the baby’s birth in your own time, give birth in comfort surrounded by loved ones, raise them though their first few years in peace safety. We will not interfere until then, but you must promise to bring the child back when time comes for their training to begin. We will still let you visit. We can even guarantee you a level of safely beyond your own, as the Guardian’s parents.”  


“No!” Rey shouts, “We already told you no!”  


The Whisperers address Ben then. “And you, Son of Skywalker?”  


Ben’s heart quails within him. He knows exactly what he’s already decided, but a part of him is still not convinced these creatures can’t actually carry out their threats. But he looks to Rey and then squares his jaw. The only way they’re going to make it through this, is one hundred percent united.  


“Rey’s right. We’re done discussing this. If your going to do something get on with it and stop making idle threats.”  


There is a heavy silence. It stretches much longer than is comfortable; it makes Ben’s insides squirm. And each moment that passes, he becomes more and more certain they may have made a terrible mistake.  


“So be it…” 

Already both sides of the Dyad can feel the Whisperers power- dark and heavy, and stronger than anything they’ve come into contact with before- building in the air all around them. Ben is just grabbing Rey’s hand when a mighty wind picks up and begins to swirl around them, lifting the mist and chilling him to the bone. “You give us no other choice”, they reply, but the voices are one with the roaring wind now. “But we did warn you. This will be extremely painful, and there almost certainly be complications that last whatever remains of your life. Even we, with our thousands of years of knowledge, do not know what it will do to you.”  


Ben is just crying out, to object, to stop this-. And that’s when Rey collapses to the ground.  


…  


The pain is worse than anything she has ever experienced- ever imagined! Worse than all those nights back on Jakku, when she had first ventured away from the outpost and Unkar Plutt’s care- what little there was- when her belly was just a bottomless hollow inside her; her lips so dry and cracked from the heat, bleeding every night as she ran her fingers over the cracks in the course skin.  


Worse than that day when she’d first had her Dyad life energy ripped out by Palpatine, and later taken the full force of his lightning as she directed it back at him until he disintegrated into tiny grotesque shards of flesh and bone; collapsing to the ground, knowing she was going to die.  


Worse even, then that dreadful dreamlike year while Ben was gone- dead; all because of her! The fake Sith spirits had been plaguing her mind, experimenting with her own lightning. She didn’t sleep. She didn’t eat. She laughed when she injured herself, hurt herself- just for fun sometimes, just to feel something.  


But THIS- this is so much worse!  


She cries out the moment she feels it; but it’s more like the sound you make when your breath is being wrenched from your throat- from your chest- from your very lunges! 

The pain is so great she can barely see, or even think. Her eyes immediately blur with tears, as she falls to her knees and then her entire body collapses in on itself, her forehead in the sand; no thought for the dust getting in her eyes and sticking to her lips.  


All she feels is white hot pain. Its not like being hit with Sith lightning or being grazed by a lightsaber. It is not sharp. It’s deep and gut-wrenching and personal.  


It is- she realizes, with another moan of horror- that it is her stomach expanding faster than it ever should naturally, but not just her stomach; the baby is growing much fast than it should be…  


…  


Ben gapes down at Rey writhing in the dirt, for a moment; uncomprehending. She writhes, gasping in sand, body shuddering with both arms wrapped around her belly. She moans, as if in so much pain she doesn’t even know what she’s doing.  


Snapping back to himself, he falls down beside her. He tries to take her in his arms, to gather her to himself, but she doesn’t seem to even be aware of him, writhing out of his grip. “Rey”, he whispers. He’s trying to remain calm. He’s trying to sooth her or comfort her in some way, but inside his heart feels like its going to pump out of his chest!  


They’re doing it! He raises his face to the wall of mist, which is much thinner than before. It may be his panicked mind playing tricks on him, but he seems to see large shadowy figures looming just beyond. They’re doing it. They’re speeding up the pregnancy, just like they said they would!  
He turns away. Again, he attempts to reach her. “Rey, I’m here. I-.”  


What can he say? ‘I’m going to protect you’? ‘Everything is going to be alright’? He can’t! And nothing is alright! Who knows what this is actually doing to her- the Whisperers don’t even know- and soon, their baby will be out and they will take her or him, and all of this will have been for nothing!  


With pure, murderous rage, he turns on them. There are definitely some kind of shadows back beyond the whirling fog. 

And if he has to, he’ll fight them all!  


“Stop”, he shouts. At his feet, Rey wails again- now, more of a scream. “Stop this, now! Please. You’ll kill her. You’ll kill them both!”

“No, Ben Solo. We won’t. The baby will be perfectly fine.” Their voices are still just as loud, but none the less calm. “We have only barely accelerated the process. If we went much more quickly, they would die. Even at this rate, it will take many weeks for the babe to be fully grown.”  


Weeks…  


Weeks? Of this? Two, three, five weeks of this? This agony? She won’t last. Rey won’t make it! And neither will he. He’ll go insane first; pull out his hair and scream until his voice is entirely gone.  


He can’t do this! He can’t do this! He can’t DO THIS!!

“Please”, he begs. “Please stop this.”  


The Whisperers seem to loom even closer around him. “We cannot”, they inform him. “Only you can do that.”  


The wind whips his tears away, but fresh ones immediately fill their place, welling in his eyes.  


Wordlessly, he shakes his head. Again, he tries to gather Rey to himself, just to let her feel that she’s not alone in this. But she just continues heaving into dirt, moaning and contracting her arms even tighter around herself.  


“Please, no.” Ben whimpers into her hair, squeezing her tighter.  


“Yes”, they confirm, with astounding assurance. “Promise us your child and we will stop this once and for all and let you leave in peace. All you need do, is say the word.”  


“No, no, no”, he moans.  


Rey can barely breath. Though the ache in her abdomen in unbearably, there’s no noticeable swelling yet; they can’t afford to push her too far before the baby is close. But she’ll be like this the entire rest of the pregnancy, how ever long that is…  


The pain is an ear-splitting ringing in her ears, mixing with the wind and the sound of her own inner voice screaming. But she does hear the Whisperers’ words. And she shakes her head, even now, choking on the sand in her mouth. “No”, she groans.  


“What?” He leans over her, putting his ear close to her face.  


“No, don’t-.” She mutters, over the roar in her own ears. “No.”  


Tears paining his cheeks, Ben slowly pulls away from her, eyes locked, then he turns his face upon their captors again. He silently nods his head.  


He CAN’T do this any longer!  


There simply is no other choice. He cannot not watch her die! Not again! He will not! He can’t just sit here and watch her suffer for weeks upon weeks, only to lose both her and their child. He won’t survive it…  


“Stop!” He cries to the beings who, so easily, hold their lives in their hands. “Stop! I’ll do it! I’ll take the deal!” He doesn’t look at Rey, but he can feel the moment it stops, hear her go still on the ground behind him. She’s still bent double with pain, but she’s no longer writhing.  


One of the large shadowy things seems to nod to him. “You made the right choice”, they tell him in unison.

He doesn’t feel like it. He only feels a regretful ache in his chest as he steps up to the misty wall. Through their aura of power, through the dying wind, he can feel their satisfaction. And it almost makes him sick…  


Behind him, at his feet, Rey moans softly. When he turns, she’s gazing up at him, from where she’s still clutching her stomach, a look of betrayal on her face. Wordlessly, she shakes her head. It’s about all she can do. Her lips move as she silently pleads with him not to do this.  


Even after all this- even though all this pain and fear- she’s still so brave. Putting their child before herself.

He loves her so much. He would do anything to protect her from all this, but he cannot.  


“I’m sorry”, he tells her, his voice tight. “But I can’t watch you suffer and die, not if I could do something… And even if we did make it, we would never see our baby again.” Rey’s lips mouth the word, no. “But I promise you, Rey, we will find some way to save our child. Now that we have time. We’ll think of something… together.” Her pleading expression hurts almost as much as watching her screaming in pain. “But I swear to you”, he says, deadly serious, “I will never let anything happen to our child! Never.”  


Rey drops her hear back to the ground again as he turns again, exhausted. “Tell me what to do”, he tells the Whisperers.  


The curtain of mist clears, parts down the middle like a curtain rending in half, creating a narrow pathway to a rounded shape behind it. The gate. The Gate of Whisperous. It looks almost identical to the one on the outside, the one Rey had been about to destroy hours- of perhaps days- who knows how long they’ve really been in here- ago. Except the frame is wider and its carved from the same stone that makes up the walls of the shallow canyon around it.  


There is a slab of clean-cut stone at its base, a raised sort of platform. And as Ben draws near, he sees there are indentations in it. They’re like the rounded dips usually formed by water sitting pooled on top of a rock for many years. But he gets the feeling they’re really caused by something else. And on the Gate above; handprints, bloody handprints, carved deep into the stone and painted a crimson that drips down the pillars of the archway.  


Ben glances up at the shadowy figures above, still obscured by the fog, then back at the Gate. “Kneel”, they tell him. And he does. He finds his knees fitting perfectly into the two little divots in the stone platform and without needing to be told, he places his hands on the two bloody prints on the arch.  


“Swear this solemn blood oath before the Force and before Its witnesses.” The voices rumble all around him. And though they’re softer than they’ve yet been this whole time, now sated with the knowledge that they’ve won, they seem to boom in his ears so forcefully that they hurt.  


“Repeat after us.” Ben nods. He swallows hard. He doesn’t look at Rey. He forces himself to close off his emotions. When he speaks, his tone is more flat and neutral than the Whisperers.  


“I, son of Skywalker and Solo, blood of Darth Vader and Senator and General Organa, do so solemnly pledge in the name of the Force.”  


“That on the day my unborn child, be it male or female, reaches their fourth year, that they will be taken into the charge of the servants of the Force, the Whisperers.”  


“To be trained in both Light and Darkness and perfect balance, as a vessel of the Force and a protector of all the mortal realm.”  


“From then on, the Whisperers will be their guardian.” Ben feels his blood begin to boil. Surely, all this isn’t necessary. They’re just rubbing it in, and it hurts like a lightsaber to the gut! 

“I and the child’s mother will defect to their wishes and will not attempt to take the child from the or attempt to turn the child’s heart against them.”

“I swear on the blood of all the Skywalkers that have come before-.” A roaring in his ears. And the winds rise to join it, the mist beginning to swirl again, but faster and louder this time. His voice stutters a moment before he continues. “-that this will be done down to the letter. And if it is not, the retribution of such a crime of breaking such an oath shall befall me and me alone.

Ben is glaring now, spitting through gritted teeth. If only he had his power right now… there is not a thing he would feel remorse after doing to them!  


Suddenly, there’s a pricking in his palms- like the rock is biting into his flesh. And when he pulls back, he finds them painted in fresh blood; his own.  


Under the golden swirling portal, he turns his gaze up at them. He hopes they can see, hopes they know how much he hates them; all the things he is swearing in his heart to do them. He has made more than one vow to the Force, here today…  


“The oath is binding.” The Whisperers finally speak again. The only sound in the hollow is their voices ringing, reverberating and overlapping each other, and the still whirling wind. Even Rey’s ragged breaths have gone silent. “You may leave now, and take your beloved and child with you.” He rises. He almost forgets to wipe the fresh blood off on his clothes before reaching out for Rey.  


The light from the portal grows brighter as the winds pick up, the mist closing in, covering the shadowy beings and hiding everything but the Gate of Whisperous from sight.  


With some difficulty and shaking limbs, Ben gathers her in his arms where she collapses against him, still coiled in a tight ball; all her muscles are clenched, her arms locked tightly around stomach. She moans softly as he lifts her. And feeling the frantic raging of the winds and the Gate glowing so bright its almost blinding, Ben takes off running toward the exit. Their lifeline…  


He doesn’t pause outside the arch. He just barrels through, through the reflective watery surface of the portal, through the bright shifting light, and out of this nightmare realm.  


But just before his head has gone all the way through, Ben hears the voices- just a whisper in his innermost ear- a sensation that makes his skin crawl. “We’ll be waiting, Ben Solo. And we will be watching...”  


…  


The other side is just how they’d left it. Still dark- save the portal’s light. Still silent and empty. Besides, of course, the untouched battlefield, full of dismembered and smoking Sith cultist’s bodies. Their time inside had been so removed from all this, Ben wouldn’t have been surprised to come out and find this ground cleared away and that a thousand years have passed.  


But they haven’t. Only hours. They were gone no more than three hours…  


And the small group of Reisitance fighters and Ben’s friends stand huddled around, waiting for them.  


There are questions. They all have questions. But he just waves them away, and toward the ships waiting in the distance. In his arms, Rey doesn’t even seem to hear them, to notice they’re there. As he marches steadily ahead of the group in a trance, she only groans softly and tightens her hand in the front of his tunic.  


Everyone is wounded. They have to carry Kaydel between them. Poe holds Rose in his arms just as Ben does Rey. Finn hobbles along just behind him, keeping quiet, but his eyes are wide in confusion, thousands of questions just barely contained behind his tightly pressed lips.  


Ben, at least, takes a moment in relief that Finn’s alright, at least physically. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t…  


He has so many questions. They all do. But that will have to wait. The first priority is getting Rey home and letting her rest. Then he can finally rest himself, knowing she’s there beside him.  


He will explain everything later. What happened inside. How the Whisperers manipulated this entire thing, down to his resurrection by Finn’s hand.  


He’ll explain what he’s done too… That he couldn’t protect them-  


That he’s just enslaved his unborn baby to the worst monsters in the Galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh ok I was nervous about this one! So please let me know what you thought and any thoughts you have about the overall story. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Your feedback and kudos always brighten my day and encourage me to keep working on this somewhat daunting project! 😊


	23. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey remembers what he said before; that they’re in this together, and somehow, they will find a way out of this. A second later, her fingers close around his. 
> 
> “I offered you my hand once; you wanted to take it. Why didn’t you”, he had said once, long ago, when he still called himself Kylo Ren. And later, she had admitted the thing she had been lying to herself about for over a year. “I did want to take your hand… Ben’s hand”. 
> 
> Twice not taking it was more than enough. Rey knows she will never reject him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 4 more chapters left! 
> 
> I’m trying to update this as quickly as possible while trying not to start more projects until I finally finish this. 
> 
> I hope everyone is having a good week and that this short update helps to make it even better.

“Are you sure you’re ready? We can wait a while… if you want.”

The morning light filters through layers of mist in the air, hovering above the trees and sifting through the lush forest canopy and into the clearing. It rained all night and into the morning. Now, the whole world seems to sparkle with the sun’s radiance. In the shadow of the overhang from Finn’s house, the light only barely reaches the pair of them; a patch of it falls on Rey’s hand and upper leg, warming her and sending shivers along her skin. 

She doesn’t answer him right away. The golden light is so dazzling, so real and warm and safe… It feels like a dream. 

Because only last night they had they arrived back on Ajan Kloss, exhausted and battered; Rey herself only barely been conscious, the aftershocks of what the Whisperers had done to her like a bone-deep ache inside. Only yesterday, they had been inside that hellish nightmare, inside the Gate of Whisperous.

Ben had carried her to Finn’s home and lay her out on his bed; she could barely even move for herself. Stripping her naked, he carefully ran a cool, clean cloth along her skin, then wrapped her in fresh clothes that smelled like him, and nestled her into the small bed. She had woken late this morning, finding Ben curled around her, must hair across his eyes.

Now, she glances at him. Red eyed, exhausted; he’d showered briefly early in the morning, but his hair had dried weird and sticking up on one side. When he had blinked his eyes open this morning at her touch, his lashes were still damp with tears and a leftover tear spilled down his cheek. She could tell he’d been crying. 

She tries not to feel a twinge of pain looking at him. She’s not angry; not really. He did the only thing he could have. She knows that. This morning, after he’d helped her dress, he had fallen down on his knees and buried his face in her lap where she sat on the bed. He didn’t cry, but she could tell he was holding back. Ben had pleaded for forgiveness, for her to try to understand. 

And she did. 

And she does… 

And in all honesty, she can’t lie to herself and say she wouldn’t have done the same thing if it were him in her place. 

So, she had gathered his head in her arms and kissed his hair, and told him she did forgive him. But that still doesn’t change the fact that he’d done it- he had been the one who agreed; and now, they’ll both have to deal with the consequences. 

Stiffly, Rey nods. The light moving and getting brighter, making her squint. “No, I’m sure. I want to do this now. They will be wondering.” She swallows but doesn’t look at him. “I need to do this.” 

Ben nods, then takes her hand and squeezes it tight. 

…

They’re all gathered at Poe’s house. Everyone is there. Chewie, Connix and Beaumont; even the droids are in attendance. Rey can feel their stares, the tension in all of them. The last time they saw her, she was trying to destroy the Life Sources of the Force- or so they all thought- and she’d forced hordes of Sith Cultists to fight them. 

Rey keeps her eyes lowered as she and Ben enter the semi-circle. Squeezing her hand, Ben stands solid and tall at her side. After the silence stretches a bit too long, he clears his throat. “I guess you’re all wondering what happened.” He licks his lips, takes a long moment to consider his words. “I don’t quite know how to explain it…” 

Rey can feel their eyes boring into hers. Her friends: people she had once considered like family. And she can’t even look at them- after all she’s done- after how much she hurt them!

Now, she begins to feel all the things she still hasn’t said bubble up in her throat. 

She'll soon suffocate. 

Ben is just about to begin again, when a croaking sound comes spilling from Rey’s lips. He glances at her, but she isn’t looking at him. Finally- finally, she makes eye contact with Finn, and then Rose and Poe and the others. Guilt squeezes her gut. 

“I-.” she tries, then falters. Her voice is hoarse from screaming and crying as the baby grew too quickly inside her last night. She swallows; looks to Ben. He seems to understand, and nods, his warm brown eyes softening. “First, I have something I need to say to all of you.”

Oh, please don’t start blubbering! She thinks. 

“I need to apologize-… to all of you.” Rey’s voice comes out like rusty exhaust pipe. A flash of memory; her writhing on the ground, a scream wrenching itself from her body. She quickly clears her throat. 

“What I did- it was wrong… I was wrong. I was misguided.” She says, a little stronger, shaking her head. “I wasn’t myself… I’m not making excuses. There’s really no excuse for the things I did, even if I had found a way to justify them in my mind…”

BLOODY HELL, please don’t cry.

Rey fights to keep her voice steady. Looking at all those faces, staring blankly back at her, the distrust and uncertainty in their eyes; it is almost too much to bear.  
It’s like, she’s adrift in a sea, about to float away and be swallowed by the endless, black sea. But then she feels a tug on her hand, a warm squeeze. 

An anchor. Ben’s hand gripping hers, and when he smiles down at her, she knows he will never let go. 

“I never wanted to hurt any of you-. But I did.” She furiously blinks back tears. “And I’m sorry... I am so sorry! I’m not asking for your forgiveness. But I needed you to hear it. You deserved an apology.” Her gaze flickers back to Finn’s. She owes him one most of all. Her last act before she entered the portal had been to hurl blast of lightning at him, so violent, he’ll be sore for weeks.

She feels small and fragile all of a sudden. “But I am sorry. And I understand if you don’t accept my apology… I can only pray that you do…” 

And very slowly, the tension in the group changes. And so does the hard set to Finn’s eyes. They hold each other’s gazes for a long moment and then he gives her a gentle nod, and something inside her collapses with relief. He has accepted her apology at least, and that’s the best she could hope for.

Rey can feel Ben’s relief too, as he wraps an arm around her waist to rest his hand on her hip, gathering her to him and pressing a kiss against the top of her head. A moment later, he speaks up. 

“But there’s a reason Rey did what she did. It wasn’t entirely her fault.” Frowns from the group. “Actually, we were all deceived. Someone has been orchestrating this whole thing from the beginning, and it wasn’t Rey. And it wasn’t the Spirits of the Sith…”

…

Rey stays silent through the whole thing. She doesn’t look at them- though she hears their gasps and exclamations of surprise. She’s lost all of the courage she’d mustered, so, she lets Ben do the talking. She can feel the tension in him as he explains, the way he’s trying to keep his emotions under control, to speak as frankly as he can. 

“Wait”, Finn exclaims, “That can’t be right. I found the instructions for bringing you back to life in the Sacred Texts, after days of searching through them. No one was controlling me. They couldn’t!”

Solemnly, Ben shakes his head. “They weren’t controlling you, no, but they were influencing you. You don’t understand, Finn. These creatures were so powerful, more power than anyone or anything I have EVER encountered before.” Rey shivers, remembering just how powerful they had proven to be. “They guided your mind to find the right place in the Texts; even helped you control the ORB. You wouldn’t have had enough power otherwise.”

After a minute of considering, Finn falls silent. At his side, Poe mutters, “I had a feeling it was all too easy. Too good to be true.”

Ben nods his head in agreement. 

“But I don’t understand-”, Rose cuts in, making brief eye contact with Rey for the first time, before turning it on Ben, “-what they wanted. Why would they do all this? You already said they didn’t actually want Rey to destroy the Life Sources or weaken the Force… So, what was their big, evil master plan??!”

Rey is starting to get nauseous again. Beside her, she feels Ben stiffen. There is a long pause, while he collects himself. Rey has her hand in his tunic, leaning on him and holding tight, but it’s not enough-. Squeezing her eyes closed, she fists the grey material in her shaking fingers. 

When Ben speaks, it is deliberately and sharp with anger. “Their plan… was to take our child.” 

Rose gasps. 

And then all is chaos, as Ben explains that she’s been pregnant all this time; they just didn’t know it, and that the Whisperers have been wanting to get their hands on this baby for a long time. Chewie cries out and kicks the side of Rose’s nearby ship, making Rey flinch. Finn and Poe both curse under their breaths, then stare at her with wide eyes. 

Then suddenly, there are arms throwing themselves around her and Rose is there, hugging her. Crying. Rose’s tears stain Rey’s collar. And Rey melts into the embrace, letting a few of her own tears fall; and Rose is whispering, “I had no idea! I had no idea.” 

Finally, they pull back, but Rose doesn’t let go of her. Rey keeps her eyes on the ground, her head against Rose’s cheek, while Ben explains first, why the Whisperers wanted their baby- and then, what they had done to insure they would have it. 

Poe curses repeatedly when- very briefly- Ben tells of the threats they made, the way they had sped up the pregnancy and made the baby grow too quickly inside her. Finn collapses to a crate on the ground and cradles his head between his hands as he listens. Chewie gives off a series of low growls, and C3-PO exclaims, “Oh no!” 

“I had to- to stop it.” Ben says, anguish distorting his features. He looks so broken, so guilt-ridden and desperately sorry that Rey can hardly stand it. 

“I couldn’t let them… I couldn’t just stand there and watch them do that to her. I- I couldn’t.” He avoids looking at any of them. “I just knew- I knew she wouldn’t survive that. She couldn’t have gone for that long in such pain, and I couldn’t watch. And then”, his breath catches, “our baby would still be taken away from us…” His shoulders sag. “I will never forgive myself, but I did it. I took their deal. I made an oath promising our child to those monsters.”

“But I do not intend to keep it!” He amends, quickly. “I bought us time, and we are going to spend every single moment until then preparing to do anything- ANYTHING within our power to keep them away. They will never lay a finger on our baby, and that is a promise I make in font of all of you here.”

A moment of silence. “This is the only vow that matters.”

Slowly, Ben’s gaze falls on Rey, crowded in between him and Rose. She’d lost hold of his hand while hugging Rose, but now, his fingers timidly stretch toward hers. 

She remembers the way he had stood up to the Whispers yesterday, how he’d carried her back to safely afterwards; how he’d taken care of her and tucked her into bed- how this morning, there were still tears in his lashes from when he’d probably wept himself to sleep while she was out cold. 

She remembers that this is his baby too. And he loves him or her as much as Rey does. She remembers what he said before; that they’re in this together, and somehow, they will find a way… 

A second later, her fingers close around his. 

“I offered you my hand once; you wanted to take it. Why didn’t you”, he had said once, long ago, when he still called himself Kylo Ren. And later, she had admitted the thing she had been lying to herself about for over a year. “I did want to take your hand… Ben’s hand”. 

Twice not taking it was more than enough. Rey knows she will never reject him again. 

She nods at him, blinking away a few tears, holding his gaze and gripping his hand. He returns her smile sweetly, and sad. It seems he can’t resist, because he tugs her hand to his lips and presses a quick kiss to her black-tinged knuckles. And in that moment, they couldn’t care any less about the dozens of eyes watching. 

From across the circle, Finn suddenly rises, taking several steps towards them, before faltering to a halt. He licks his lips. “So, what does that mean? “How are we going to protect the baby from those things?”

“Sounds like these Whisper Assholes aren’t going to give up without a fight.” Poe speaks up; his eyes are dark with disgust and anger the story he’s just been told.

“Well…” Ben glances at Rey, then back at Finn. “Rey and I talked about that this morning. We think we have a pretty good plan, at least for now.” Rey nods. “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the best thing we can come up with…” 

Everyone waits with bated breath. Now, this being the first time they’ve said it out loud, it actually feels real. And scary!

“We have to leave”, Ben explains, “Rey and I will leave today. We’ll buy a new ship, then we’ll fly around till we’re good and lost, and stay there for a while. Then we’ll find another out of the way planet to hide on. And then, another. And another. And another.” There is murmur among the group as people exchange looks. 

“We’ll disguise ourselves and use fake names. We’ll never stay in one place for very long. And…” He glances at Rey, his heart squeezing. This is perhaps going to be the most difficult thing. It’s almost unimaginable. But at this point, they will do anything to keep the little one inside her safe. “…we’re going to have to cut ourselves off from the Force.”

Finn cries out, almost before the words are off Ben’s lips. He looks horrified. “Wait! Forever?!”

“No”, Rey quickly assures him, “only for as long as we need to say in hiding. These things use the Force too, so we need to cut off that option, if this is going to work.” 

Frowning in confusion, Poe raises his hand. Ben nods at him, and he asks, “Can you do that? I thought the Force was a thing you just had, or didn’t”. 

“My uncle did. After the destruction of our Jedi academy, and my turn to the Dark Side, he hid himself away on the island of Ach-To for ten years. If he could do it, I’m sure we can figure it out too.” Ben sighs. Just talking about all this, is exhausting. “I know it’s not very likely, but hopefully- if we follow our plan and are careful- we’ll be able to hide from them until the baby is born.”

“And then?” Rose asks. 

“And then”, Ben sighs, “I guess, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it…”

Finn and Poe share a look, then Finn pauses to consider. His gaze flickers to Rey, his expression etched with worry. Then he looks to Ben. “You don’t think we should come with you to help protect the kid?” 

Ben takes a deep breath, but then slowly shakes his head. “No, I don’t honestly think that would be a good idea. It will be easier to hide with just to two of us…” His tone grows a little less serious. “And besides, this is our mess. We can’t ask you to hide and run from planet to planet for the rest of your life. Because, even after the child is born, it probably still won’t be safe to return.” 

Reaching out to touch Ben’s shoulder, Chewie growls and both he and Rey smile back sadly. “No, Chewie. You should go home. You have already done too much for my family for us to put you in more danger.”

“But… then, we won’t see you again for… who knows how long.” Finn’s voice trails off as he and Rey lock eyes. 

“No”, she replies, distantly. “We probably won’t see each other again for a long time…” She feels Rose’s arm tighten around her. 

“Then”, he says softly, “we can only pray that the Force will be with you…”

…

Finn can hardly believe what he’s just heard. He walks around the rest of the morning in a daze, his head full and buzzing, but unable to really process it all. He doesn’t know what to do. 

None of them do.

When Rey and Ben retreated into the inside of the Falcon to talk with Chewie, the group dispersed. Rose and Kaydel walked off silently together and Poe murmured something about needing to take a walk. Finn had wanted to follow him- they still had yet to have a serious conversation about what is going on between them- and he’s anxious to finally put a name to this back and forth attraction for the past two years, but he knows this really isn’t the time. 

Boyfriend? 

Is that it?

But its been hours now. It’s been long enough. and Finn can’t wait any longer. Just being separated from Poe for a few hours, after their closeness of the past couple days, fills him with an aching longing. 

Poe is just inside his ship, at the top of the ramp, his back to Finn when Fin climbs inside. But when he hears approaching footsteps, he turns. His tanned face, ringed in dark curls- ringed in shadow, is as handsome as always. 

Just as handsome as last night, when the firelight had kissed his skin under a million glittering stars. 

And, that’s not the only thing that had kissed it. 

They’d lain together beside the firepit, on a blanket, into the early hours of the morning, wrapped in each other’s arms. The soreness and bruises and Poe’s injured leg were a constant reminder of the questions looming over them; they still had absolutely no idea what had happened at the Gate of Whisperous. But they let those worries and questions slip away, giving in, getting lost in each other. 

They kissed languidly. The first few had been desperate and intense, Finn fisting the curls at the back of Poe’s neck and Poe holding tightly to him by the waist, but they’d turned slow and sleepy. And they settled into a new comfortable intimacy, as if things had always been this way. 

Noting else had happened, besides Finn trailing his lips down the exposed skin of Poe’s throat and the bit of chest exposed by than open top button, before Poe dragged him back up to his lips. But Finn wouldn’t have minded if it did. He’s wanted to, and his body had wanted to- he’d been half hard since they lay down together, his crotch pressed against Poe’s- but they’d both been so exhausted, and Poe seemed to want to take things slow. So, they’d settled down to slowly drift to sleep. And he had tried not to be too disappointed. 

After all, they still had pliantly of time. 

But now, seeing Poe’s face so up close, with eyes dark and deep, he feels that same warmth deep inside him again. If he had his way, Finn would have him right here and now, pressed against the inside wall of the ship, or in the captain’s chair. 

And hopefully, after they’ve had a chance to talk, he will…

Grinning softly, Finn goes to kiss him, but Poe pulls back, body going completely stiff under Finn’s hands. There’s a different look in Poe’s eyes today… A hardness.

Something in Finn’s stomach begins to skink, and it just keep on sinking and sinking…

Agitated, Poe runs a hand through this messy hair, sweeping it out of his face, only for it to fall again. He turns and begins tinkering with something on the work bench. Finn just stares at his back, hands still hovering in midair. 

After a tense moment, Poe glances back at Finn, before dropping his head again. he’s surely seen the expression of shock on Finn’s face. 

“I’m sorry”, he huffs, “I’m sorry, Finn.”

Silence. Then; “What does that mean?” 

“Finn, I-.”

“Don’t do this again, Poe. Don’t push me away…”

“I’m sorry.” He sounds miserable but his tone is heavy with resolve. “I just don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Finn wants to shout, but he just settles for a note of frustration. “This?” He exclaims, “What even is this? We never got far enough to tell. That’s why I came here to talk to you, and tell you that I wanted- that I wanted-… To- make this official. To finally be able to say you’re mine.” 

“But, that’s just it. I’m not ready for that; to be what you need me to be. To settle down. Domestic bliss. I don’t want those things. I don’t want to stay in one place, to have a house, own property... I want to travel- to be free!” 

“You can still do that with m-.”

“But I can’t! And you know it.” Poe’s voice is devastated, and Finn sees it in his eyes. “You need someone who will love you with all of their heart, who will take care of you and give you a real home and a family. You need someone who would be happy to build a home with you, and come home to the same bed every night, content just to know that it will be in your arms at night. But that’s not me. I’m not ready, and maybe I never will be.”

“But, Poe. I-.” 

“And I won’t have you waiting around, missing out on the things you’ve always wanted, just for me.” He snaps, suddenly angry. “I won’t do that, Finn, not when I’ve already hurt you enough!” 

“You don’t want to hurt me anymore? Then don’t! We can figure this out.” Finn’s is not going to cry. He refuses to cry; not when this whole thing is so stupid! “You think you know what I want? I want you. That’s all!” 

“Come on Finn. You know it’s true. You wouldn’t be happy with the kind of life I want, chasing me through the stars, never being certain of our future.” They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, breathing heavily. “Be honest with yourself… You want what they have,” He throws his thumb over his shoulder. Finn doesn’t need to ask who he’s talking about. 

“That’s not fair. You know that’s not even possible. They can practically read each other’s thoughts. No one can ever have what they have. Don’t hold yourself- don’t hold me to that standard!”

“That’s not what I mean”, Poe counters, “The devotion. The readiness to have a family. How they’re everything to each other. How they’re each other’s home, the only ones for the other! How that’s it; there will be no one else. Ever…” 

Finn is shattered, gutted and empty, scrambling in desperation. He doesn’t reply. He can’t. He just stares at Poe’s hunched shoulders. 

A moment later, Poe sighs. He brings his hand up and swipes it across his face. “I’m sorry… You deserve better. You deserve do much better than me.” Poe hands his head, his shoulders slumped in resignation. Finn feels like he must be dreaming. 

He wouldn’t do this to me, not again! Not Poe. 

But Poe doesn’t speak, and so, slowly he turns away. But he stops again. Even five feet apart, even standing back to back, he can feel Poe’s warmth. 

“You are it for me, you know…”, Finn whispers, “You were wrong. You are the only one. There will never be ANYONE else.”

A soft sound of amusement from the other man. Finn can already see the smirk that must be forming on his face right now. “You have no idea how glad I am to know that isn’t true. I know you, Finn. It won’t be long.”

What?!! No! 

Anger. Heat in his face.

Finn’s hands automatically clench at the suggestion. That he could move on so easily. That he’s that desperate for love. 

A quite voice inside whispers that maybe- Poe’s not wrong. 

It takes all Finn’s willpower not to whirl around and grab Poe by the shoulders, either to shake him to kiss him, he doesn’t know. 

“You are wrong.” A beat. Two. “I love you.” The last three words whispered so soft he can hardly head them. A final, pathetic plea. A chance for Poe to fix this. He doesn’t know why he expects Poe to change his mind. He never has before. He’s that stubborn; when he makes up his mind, there’s no arguing against it. 

He doesn’t this time either…

“Yeah”, Poe mutters, sounding so tired. “I love you too.” 

It’s the only time he’s said it, but now, this is the only time Finn wishes he’d kept his mouth shut. Normally, nothing would make him happier, but now, he wilts beneath the words.

Finn has just reached the top of the ramp when Poe calls out. “Finn!” Finn doesn’t turn around and neither does Poe. “I hope-.” He tries for a casual tone. “I hope we can still be friends…”

“Sure, Poe. Whatever you say…”


	24. The  Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shrugs. “Sometimes, you just don’t have a plan, and even if you do, it almost never works out… and sometimes, you find that you never needed on in the first place. But there’s something my dad used to say: “You can plan for the sun not to set tonight, but it still does, life goes on weather you plan for it or not.”
> 
> Finn grins. “That sounds like him…”

“I already told you Chewie.” Ben can’t keep the grin out of his voice as he places a hand on his old friends hairy arm. 

“We’re fine. There’s no reason for you to come trapsing around the galaxy after my family anymore. All we need it a ride in the Falcon to Kashyyyk, and then we’ll take it from there.”

Hair falls into his eyes as he gazes up lovingly at Chewbacca. It makes Rey grin to see. How boyish he is around his uncle, unencumbered by the weight that can only be lifted by forgiveness. It is truly amazing that is not one sin too terrible that cannot be forgiven by the one who was harmed, if they make that choice. 

“It’s your ship now”, Ben assures him when the older Wookie offers him the dusty, old freighter, “Dad would want you to have it.” A growl. “No. We both know you’ll take better care of it.” 

Chewie hasn’t left Ben’s side since they announced their plans that morning, following him around, putting a paw on his shoulder, or chucking at one of his own jokes. Right after they told everyone what was going on, he had taken them inside the Falcon and begged them to let him come along, to help protect his little grandniece or nephew. But they’d assured him they would call him if they needed help, and that they would come visit as soon as its safe. 

He deserves a rest, honestly. But they’ll at lease let him take them to their first stop on the Wookie’s home planet of Kashyyyk. Where they’ll buy a new ship and set out. 

Chewie growls in response to Ben’s comment. 

“No, you’re not. You’re getting too old for this!” Ben laughs and then catches Rey’s eye from across the clearing, where she’s sitting, hand in hand with Rose. He shoots her the tiniest wink and she immediately blushes and ducks her head. 

Despite how well her heart knows him- down into her very core of her soul- there’s a part of him she still hasn’t gotten used to it. This more playful, lighthearted side of him. 

She hasn’t yet. But she can’t wait to.

“I can’t believe we won’t get to see you”, says Rose from Rey’s shoulder, where she’s been resting her head. 

“I know”, Rey replies. 

“I’m going to miss you.” 

And Rey is going to miss her too. She’s going to miss all of them. This completely new life she’s headed into; she’s still not sure what to expect. 

Rose’s hand tentatively lifts from where it’s been curled around Rey’s forearm and toward her stomach. “May I?” She asks, eyes flickering to Rey’s. 

Rey simply nods. “But there’s nothing to feel. Not yet. Even with the Force, I can barely feel it.” A heartbeat. Just the tiniest pulse under the baseline of her much louder Force signature. 

“So… since they sped the growth up-.” Rey can tell her friend is trying to be sensitive, but she still winces at the reminder. Eyes twinging with sympathy, Rose pulls her hand away from the barely-there curve of her belly; only to be grabbed by Rey’s, who holds her tight. “-how far along are you, then?”

Huh.

Rey frowns. This isn’t something she’d thought about. She must have only been about three weeks pregnant- at the most, when that dreadful night at the Gate of Whisperous began. But she doesn’t even know how long it had taken for Ben to give in and for her torcher to cease. It had seemed like hours, but it could’ve been only a few minutes. So, there’s no real way of knowing how much the baby had grown during that time. 

“I don’t know”, she replies, after a long moment. “But it can’t be much more than I was yesterday. We were only in there three hours, you said?” Rose nods. “And, since they had to go slow enough not to hurt us, it was probably only sped up a couple weeks- at most.” 

Inwardly, she blanches at these thoughts. Her mind hasn’t adapted to being pregnant yet, and already she’s having to think about how close the birth might be, and how big the baby is now. 

Thankfully, when Ben had run his hands over every inch of her bare body this morning, searching for injuries, they had found none. Nothing wrong internally or below the surface, which he could sense with the Force. She and the little one were both unharmed… if not a little traumatized. 

She’s still lost in thought when Poe suddenly appears in her line of vision, looking sullen. “Poe”, she says. She tries to cover the nervousness in her voice by clearing he throat. 

“Rey.” He inclines his head, and she takes a deep breath. This is the first time he’s talked to her since she’s stopped trying to kill them and come home. 

“So, you’re leaving then?” He asks. 

“Yeah, anytime now. As soon as Chewie and Ben are finished packing…” They both glance over to see the Wookie scrambling after Ben, only to grab him in a headlock and grind his knuckles against Ben’s hair. 

“Yeah…” Poe’s gaze flits around the clearing, before settling on Finn, who’s just emerged from his house and is clapping Beaumont on the shoulder as they both stride toward the Falcon.

“Is everything- alright?” She asks. He looks like he’s seen a ghost. 

“Oh yeah. Fine.” Silence. “I guess I’ll go ahead and say goodbye to Solo, then.” Suddenly, he extends a hand. “Stay safe out there. Let us know if you need anything.” 

“Thank you, Poe. You too.” She takes his hand and gives it a firm shake. At that, he gives a small, crooked smile and then hurries off toward Ben.

Well, that was… strange. 

But probably the best she could hope for. He may never forgive her- she’ll never know- but at least, he’d come to say goodbye. 

Finn is now among the group of ships parked around the Millennium Falcon in the clearing. Rey watches him joke with Kaydel, getting a well-deserved punch in the arm. Her heart constricts at the sight of him. The things she’d said the last time they spoke- really spoke- the terrible things… And then, she’d tried to kill him with Sith Lightning. She already misses him so much- misses her best friend her first real friend- and she hasn’t even left yet!

He catches her eye, and he holds it for a long minute. Then slowly, he crosses toward her, and Rey rises to meet him, her heart hammering in her throat.

“Hey, Rey”, Finn says. His lips quirk. 

“Hey, Finn…” She should say more. She wants to say more, but her tongue seems frozen in place. 

“Want to take a walk with me? Get some exercise before you’re stuck on a ship with those two?” He motions toward Ben and Chewie, and she smirks. 

“I’d love to.”

…

There’s a path beside the cafeteria that Rey;s never noticed before. Winding through the foliage and down along side a rippling brook, theres a wooden fence, aged but still sturdy, left over from the brief time this planet hosted the Reisitance Base, when they’d fenced off the area beside the creek for a garden; the garden long since overgrown and covered in weeds.

Finn and Rey don’t stop until they’ve reached it; a dead end at the fence line. This is probably far enough away from the others not to be overheard, but Rey wants to go further, to keep walking through lush foliage until her mind is as empty as the blue sky above. But instead, she leans against the fence and stares into the reflective surface of the stream, chewing her lip and trying to summon all the courage she needs to have this conversation. 

She is startled by Finn’s hand on her upper arm. He doesn’t flinch away from her gaze when she turns; he studies her with concern and a little bit of timidness. 

“I’m sorry, Rey”, he suddenly blurts, and Rey stares at him in surprise. That is not what she’d expected to be the first words out of his mouth. She’s the one that should be sorry; infact, she should have said it first. She already apologized to the group, but he deserves to hear it directly from her, away from the others; where he can reject her or yell at her it he wants, in private. 

“No-. F-.”

“I should have been there for you. But I wasn’t. I had no idea. I couldn’t understand what you were going to through, but I should’ve tried.” 

“Finn, please. You don’t-.” 

“And you were right. We should’ve told you we were going to resurrect Ben.”

Despite her not wanting to hear another word of this aopogy, she takes pause at the word, Ben. Not just the fact that he’s said it- instead of Solo or Ren- but the way that he said it, with such tenderness. Her heart constricts in her chest with such pride and joy. Ben had said he was mentoring Finn in the Force, but it seems they have grown closer than she had expected. 

Finn barells on, not noticeing the teary smile that’s being squeezed out of her. “We should’ve asked you to come along. And we shouldn’t have ambushed you with him. You were already being encouraged by the whispers things, but we only pushed you further. I was insensitive. I’m sorry.”

Rey wants to smack as well as hug him. She settles for grinning and squeexing his arm. “Stop it! I’m supposed to be apologizing to you! Not the other way around.” He smirks. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for”, she insists, serious now, “I really should have thanked you. You brought him back to me, and it doesn’t matter that the Whisperers made you do it. I will be eterneally greatfull. And its me who should be asking for your forgiveness.”

“Thanks, Rey. But you don’t need to-“

“Will you stop interrupting me! No, shut up and let me give you my sincere apology!” She scolds him with a look of mock sternness, and he snickers. “Was trying to say, I’m sorry. I was wrong to be angry. I was wrong about a lot of things…”

Her eyes fall to his other arm, the one that’s wrapped in bandages under the sheeve of his white linin shirt. She gently touches it. He doesn’t wince. But she knows the way those Sith Lighting burns sting. Her arms are covered in them- though, she’s used to them now. 

“Does it hurt”, she whispers, not meeting his eyes.

“Not right now. Rose patched me up good.” Taking in her downcast eyes, he places his hand on her shoulder. “I’m fine, Rey. Really. Its nothing that won’t heal.” Reluctantly, she nods. 

Please don’t start blubbering. Please don’t start blubbering!

“Please, don’t worry about it. You have enough to worry about right now. I promise. All is forgiven.”

Forgiven.

What a word; love, hope, and joy and a sweet peace all rolled into one. And the effect that it has on her; she relaxes with relief. Her shoulders instantly feel ten pounds lighter. 

All she can do is whisper a thank you, in response. 

“I’m just glad we’re friends again. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” And she had, even if she’d been so unexplicably angry with him. “Its been so long since we’ve gotten to talk.”

“Too long”, he agrees. Then scoots around to lean on the fence beside her. Immediately his expression goes vacant, and she gets the impression his mind is a million miles away. 

He’s been acting off all day. And at first, she’d chalked it up to everything that’s been hhappening lately, of the information dump from this morning, but now, she suspects it may be something else. 

“Hey, are you ok? Is something wrong?” His lip quivers slightly, then he gives up and drops his face into his hands. 

“Hey, what is it?” Rey immediately wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Shhhh.” 

“Its Poe… Everything is such a mess! I don’t know what happened. Last night, we were so happy- and now-.” Through intermittent sniffing, he tells her about their disastrous conversation that morning, how Poe has just rejected him. 

“Wow… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’m actually shocked. I always believed you two would end up together, ever since the very beginning.” 

“Yeah well, me too.”

“I mean, I do understand how he’s feeling; I just can’t believe it. I really wish he hadn’t let it get this far before telling you.” 

He nods, finally lifting his head out of his hands- now dry of tears. 

“But he was right, Finn; you will find love again. There’s no doubt about that.” He shakes his head.

“Why does everyone keep saying that.”

“Because we know you. That’s just the kind of person you are. You makes people fall in love with you were everywhere you go.” She grins. “Just look at Ben. He adores you.” Rey chuckles and Finn turns red. “We all do… Just don’t try to take him away from me!”

“Rey”, he suddenly urgent, letting his own troubles fall to the side. “I meant it when I offered to come along and help protect the baby.” 

But with a gentle voice, she assures him they will be just fine on their own. They still have their lightsabers; even if they can’t use the Force. And its easier to hide when its just the two of them. “And we wouldn’t want you to have to cut yourself off form the Force, not when you just discovered it.” 

“Well the offer still stands…” After a moment of tense silence, he says, a tiny smirk on his face; “So… gonna have a baby, huh? That was- a- surprise, for sure.” 

Rey can’t help blushing a little bit, but inside there’s a rush of painc. She gently clutches her tiny belly; they both stare down at it. “Starting a family. Being a mom… Damn! He puffs out a breath. “Who would’ve thought!”

The panic only grows. It rises up in her gut like a wave; like the bile that forces its way up right before the retching begins. Her breathing quickens. 

“Yeah, who would’ve thought… It was certianlly unexpected. Obviously, we weren’t trying to- well, we didn’t mean for it to happen. 

And now, she’s blushing again. 

“This isn’t the best timing and I wish it wasn’t so soon after we found eachother, and we’d had time to figure out ourselves and our relationship; but I don’t regret it…” She reflects for a moment. Finn quietly waits, always understanding. 

“Because I know this would’ve happened anyway eventually. I’ve spent my entire life waiting for this: a partner, kids: a family of my own. And I know Ben wants kids too.” A soft smile. She can’t help it when tears spring to her eyes. 

“Its hard to be, with all that’s going on, but I think he’s really excited.”

“Of course he is! He’s going to be a great parent.” A beat. “And, so will you, of course.”

Rey’s face falls. She closes her eyes to heep it all in, but tears still drip from the corners of her eyes, sliding down her cheek and onto her wobbling chin, before dripping into the creek; the salt of her tears mixing with the clean, fresh water. Finn’s hand tightens on her arm.

“I’m so afraid”, she whisperers, eyes still shut tight. She foreces the sobs down. “I’m frightened, Finn.”

He Shushes her. “It’s ok. Its ok.”

“I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea how to be a mum. I don’t know how any of this works. ANY OF IT!” Her hands clench at her sies. The lighting burns have made her skin dry, and now it begins to crack, making pain shoot up through her kunckles. 

“My mother died before she could teach me anything. I barely remember her face- let alone about the way she raised me.”

Finally, Finn gives in and just wraps both arms around her from the side, resting his head against hers. “Shhh. I know, Rey. It’s ok to be scared.”

“What- what if I do something wrong”, Rey wails between soft sobs. “What if I screw up, and mess them up for life? I mean, I’m going to try- I’m going to try so hard but…” She sniffs. “Han and Leia. They tried, but-.” Quickly, she falls silent, suddenly ashamed of what she’d been about to imply. Really, she knows nothing about the way Ben had been raised. But her meaning is clear. 

Finn nods. 

“What it I’m a bad mother?” Laughing through her tears, Rey shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a mum!” 

“Yeah, you are”, he shakes her in his arms, “You really are.” They laugh together, but he turns to face her, an serious expression on his face. 

“Hey, listen. I don’t know anything about this stuff either. Hell, I never even knew my parents. I never even knew their names. I was raised in a prison disguised as a training facility; with brothers and sisters who were forced to remain strangers…”

Finn has always talked very little about his childhood, but hearing him now, it all laid out so plain; it makes her own childhood sound almost like freedom. 

“But I do know you”, he continues, looking her right in her eyes, “Yeah, you know me; that I’;m gonna more on. Well I know you too, ok?” 

Reluctantly, she nods. “You fight for what you believe in. You fight for the people you love, and you never give up! And let me tell you, if you love this baby- and I can see in your eyes that you already do- half as much as you love that dumbass over there…” Finn inclines his head toward where the Falcon is visible just between the leaves. “…I know you will be (a good mother).”

Rey throws her arms around his neck. And then she whispers in his ear, “Thank you”. 

…

Of course there would need to be a last minute repair somewhere on his dad’s piece of junk of a ship, Ben thinks. While Chewie climbs around in wires and circuits in the belly of the ship, he reclines in the shade of a nearby building, letting the warm of the afternoon sink in. 

“Hey. Master Solo.” A pair of firm hands on his shoulders before he has a chance to turn around.

“Finn.” Ben levels his student with a stern look. “I thought I told you never to address me as Master!” Finn grins. “Don’t make me fail you, Padawan!”

“Eh, go ahead. You’re leaving, so I don’t have to worry about you bossing me around all the time, Master!” Ben’s serious front breaks and he smirks. 

“You think that’s a problem for me? You’re the one who came up with this whole thing in the first place! I just went along because you were so helpless.” He attempts to pat the top of Finn’s head, but Finn ducks out of the way. “Who knew I would actually kinda enjoy some of our lessons.”

“Yeah, and who knew you could actually act like a real human being with feelings.”

They both narrow their eyes at each other, then both chuckle. 

“I already tried to convince Rey to let me come along and help protect you guys.” Narrowing his eyes, Finn searches Ben’s face. “I guess I’m not going to get a different answer out of you?”

Sadly, Ben shakes his head. But he is touched by that- not just Finn, but almost everyone has offered to come at least once throughout the day- but with Finn, it almost means more. 

Though, he would never tell him that, of course. 

But everything seems to mean more with Finn. Looks like somehow they’ve grown closer then he could have ever anticipated. Who would have ever thought? 

And maybe, that’s the real reason Ben- then Kylo- had let Finn go and not turned him in or killed him on the spot that fateful night on Jakku. Maybe some part of him knew- maybe it was the Force- that he would need Finn someday. Because he had needed Finn, just as much as Finn had needed him. Not only had be brought him back to life and given him a purpose, but he had been there when Ben had no one else. He had kept him sane while Rey was gone, and had taught him much. 

In the end, Finn had forgiven him for all the terrible things he’d done, so that Ben finally could learn to forgive himself. 

What better friend could there be, really? 

“No, Finn… We couldn’t do that to you. Its going to be hard enough being separated from the Force for the first time, to have you do it too. And then, where would the rest of the Galaxy be without even one Force-user to keep a lookout in case of trouble? The rest of the people out there need you.”

Finn takes a deep breath. Ben notices his frown and says, “I know it’s a big responsibility for one person, and we would gladly share it if we didn’t already have a responsibility of our own. We have to protect and raise this child, that’s our job; and as someone with power and knowledge, your job is to use it for good.” 

The frown hasn’t left Finn’s face all while Ben’s been talking. Finally, he shakes his head. It doesn’t often happen, but Finn looks frightened. 

“I’m not even ready. I still have so much more to learn that those stuffy old texts could never teach me. I wish you weren’t leaving so soon.” 

He ducks his head. “At least, if you let me come, you could still teach me something. Now, I’ll just be all alone. We’ve only barely scratched the surface of what I could do.”

Ben gazes down at him fondly, suddenly feeling torn. But he has faith in his apprentice. If no one else; he has faith in Finn. 

“Listen, man. I’m no Jedi Master. I don’t have all the answers; I don’t even have most of them. And honestly, there’s not much more I can teach you. You’ll actually probably learn more from experimenting with the Force and meditating than with me.”

“Bullshit”, Finn huffs. 

After eyeing him a moment, Ben leans over toward the other man. “I wish I could stay too. I’ve learned a lot just sifting through a bunch of old memories. I think, training with you is the best thing either of us could’ve done to grow stronger in the Force and its probably the only thing that’s kept me sane the past weeks. I wish we could’ve stayed and grown to know you all better. 

A smile and a nod; but Finn still doesn’t lift his face. His brow is creased. He looks troubled.

“Finn”, Ben pauses, “what is it?”

Finn shakes his head, a bitter smile twitching on his lips. Ben has never seen such a look on his friend’s face before. It sends a pang through him. 

“I just”, he sighs heavily, “Its just, looking forward from this point, everything that feels so uncertain, so unstable. I feel lost... And I’ve never felt that before. Just yesterday, out fighting Sith Rey and all those cultists, and trying to prevent the end of the Force-.” They both snort at that. Because, of course, that was all a big joke. “-things still felt more certain and stable than they do now.”

Leaning against the wall beside him, Ben places a hand on his friend’s shoulder. He doesn’t know what else to do or say. He hasn’t had much practice with this sort of thing. 

“It’s like everything has been flipped on its head and nothing is in the right place anymore; and I’m just left-.” Finn flicks his wrist. “-floating. Floundering. Its like starring into a big empty space where the rest of my life should be. Nothing- nothing is how I thought it’d be a week ago.”

Ben silently pats his shoulder, while Finn takes deep breaths. He seems determined no to let himself cry; but Ben wouldn’t mind. There is no shame in tears. 

Finally, Finn raises his head and fixes blood-shot eyes on Ben’s. They stare at each other for a long moment. “I don’t know what to do!” He cries, wringing his empty hands. “What do I do?!”

No. Don’t ask me! I’m the last person who should be giving advice!

Sighing deeply, Ben leans closer to him, wrapping his arm lightly round Finn’s shoulders. He has the sudden urge to press his forehead against the other man’s and close his eyes; just as he’s seen his father do with Uncle Lando when Ben was young, to somehow let his thoughts and feelings communicate themselves through his mind. 

“You know, I don’t have the answer to that. I don’t even know myself. To be honest, my future looks a lot like yours. I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do. I guess, that’s something we’ll both have to work out for ourselves.”

Ben shrugs. “Sometimes, you just don’t have a plan, and even if you do, it almost never works out… and sometimes, you find that you never needed on in the first place. But there’s something my dad used to say: “You can plan for the sun not to set tonight, but it still does, life goes on weather you plan for it or not.” 

Finn grins. “That sounds like him…”

“But anyway, what’s going to happen will, weather you’ve got a plan or not. Things will world out something how, Finn. That is the only thing I can be sure of.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right… for once.” Ben glowers, and Finn wraps his arm around Ben. He shakes him a little, then laughs at the look on his face. 

“Relax, man. You’re so tense.” Ben harrumphs. A silence falls on them. In the distance, off to their lefts, the suns sink lower and lower in the sky. They will soon be in their eyes. A sure sign that it’s about time to go. 

After a while, Ben says, “You know, you’re in a very similar situation to what my uncle Luke was after the war.” 

Finn shifts to glance at him. And Ben continues, “With Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda- his mentors- dead, and Darth Vader and Palpatine killed; he was the only Force-user left. And aside from some brief training he did with my mother, there was no one left for him to train with or learn from. No one left alive, that knew he knew of…” 

Thoughtfully, Ben traces a large scrape across the back of his hand that he’d received from punching one of the Sith Cultits’ armor yesterday. Huge scabs cover every single one of his knuckles. 

“So maybe”, he says quietly, “you can do what he did when he was all alone- what all of us are meant to do, the best thing you can do with the power you have been given.” 

“And, what was that?” Finn asks, eyes wide in anticipation, alight with a hope that is also blooming in Ben’s chest, as well. 

“He started going around the Galaxy looking for more people like him. He was the last one trained by a true Jedi from the old days, before the Empire took over. He decided it was his responsibility to pass on all that knowledge he had. He taught them- and me- and we learned together from him. But also from each other...”

Slowly, Finn begins to nod in understanding. 

“That is the greatest burden that comes with knowledge; to pass it on so I can never go to waist or never be forgotten…” 

There is a long contemplative silence, in which that energy begins to grow in the air between them; a sort of electricity- not quite resolution, but maybe… hope.

“I think I just might know what to do, after all.” 

Ben pushes himself off the wall, and them opens his arms when Finn moves to embrace him. 

It’s a little awkward, but its nice. Its been a long time since he’s been so intimate with anyone but Rey. And he takes his moment to bask in it, to let his head fall against the other man’s shoulder, and lets him carry a little wright for him. 

“Come on, Ben. I’ll walk you to your ship…” 

… 

The goodbyes are too short. After you’ve gone around, hugged everyone, and told them how much you love them and will miss them, there’s nothing to keep you there. No excuse to stay. 

An awkward hug with C3P0; he insists on giving Ben one too- to everyone’s delight. A long and somewhat tearful embrace with Rose, surprising herself that she hasn’t somehow exhausted her tear supply by now. 

Even Connix and Beaumont accept her hugs, but the rest of their team declines. 

Rey doesn’t know is she’s proud or hurt, when Ben’s goodbye hugs with the pair are much longer and more heartfelt and emotional; Connix even brushing away a tear when she steps out of the embrace. 

Poe doesn’t say goodbye again. But, lurking at the edge of the group assembled to see them off, he does give her a nod and a solute. 

Finn and Rose walk them up the ramp. 

As Chewie disappears inside the Falcon, Rey surges at Finn for one last hug. Rose and Ben hug too. 

Finn’s arms grip her so tightly, full of all the love that is impossible to communicate through words. 

“We will see each other again”, she vows, whispering into his ear, just as she had years ago; when she’d has to leave in search of Ach-To and he’d had still been in a coma from their fateful duel on StarKiller Base that had started it all. She wonders if he somehow heard her, and remembers those words. If it has sunk through his unconscious state, to echo in his mind like a dream. 

Finn nods. “Call me if you ever need anything.”

“I will.” 

Winking at Rey, Rose puts her hand on Finn’s shoulder, and leads him back down the ramp. Ben is already in the cockpit when Rey gets inside. He greets her with a smile. 

Rey slips into the copilot seat beside the love of her life and the father of her child for the first time of many. This is the beginning of their adventures. This is the first day of their new life together. 

And, despite the dangers they face and the chances they’re taking, Rey wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else. 

…

On the ground below, Finn and Rose stand apart from the rest of the group, faces turned heavenward, as trees and grass billow around. 

They both raise their heads and wave when they catch sight of Rey’s grinning face in the cockpit window. 

“I’m going to miss them”, Finn says. 

“Me too…” A comfortable moment of silence, while the Falcon ascends into the atmosphere. “Everything’s going to be ok, Finn.” 

Startled, he turns to look down at her, and really sees her- maybe for the first time. She steadily gazes at him with a warm smile. And Finn swallows, nods. 

His breath seems to have been stolen from him. 

Stolen by this small, brave, beautiful dark-haired woman…

“Ok?” She asks, pressing her shoulder against his, their fingertips just barely brushing. And it sends a shock of electricity- that’s not Sith Lightning- up his arm. 

“Ok”, he agrees. And their hands clasp together.


	25. The Darkness and The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben comes to a stop in the area of forest he’d cleared yesterday, studying the encompassing foliage. His body tenses, muscles clenching as his natural senses heighten. 
> 
> Slowly, his hand creeps toward his neck, as if to scratch it, eyes locked on the trees, watching for any movement. Fainting, he suddenly lunges toward the clearing’s edge, reaching over his shoulder to the weapon sheathed there; and in one smooth movement, he ignites the cross-guard lightsaber and slices straight through the tree. 
> 
> Ben smirks down at his fallen foe. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait everyone. I feel like time has been flying. Especially this year. Can you believe it’s already February?! 
> 
> Mostly domestic fluff- and some angst- in this one. Hope you enjoy! 😊

The Galaxy is beautiful, Ben has decided. The little he’d seen of it during his younger years, in his memory, is tarnished by the shadow that has hung over him his entire life. The Dark Side. Kylo Ren. They had ruined so much for him. 

But they would not ruin this. Because, despite the looming danger on the horizon; for the first time, he is finally free. 

The first night of their new life is spent on Kashyyyk. Ben had only been there once, and that was when he was very small, so Chewie insisted he give the two of them a tour of his home village. Ben and Rey had walked, hand in hand, behind him; grinning as their dear friend led them along rope bridges, through treetop gardens with sweet yellow and orange fruit, and introduced them to his family and friends. 

When Chewbacca told them who Ben was, who his father was, they greeted him as kin, pressing their foreheads to Ben’s in a gesture that almost brought tears to his eyes. 

And later, after their host led them to a small, secluded hut high in the tress, overlooking a waterfall, and shot them a knowing wink; they kissed sleepily, whispering to each other until they drifted off into slumber, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

The farewell was heart wrenching, to say the least. Not only did they have to say goodbye to their new friends, but they also bid a sorrowful farewell to both Chewbacca and the Millennium Falcon. 

Rey waited outside, leaning against Chewie’s large arm as Ben went inside the old ship to have a moment alone with the last physical connection there was left to Han Solo. 

Later as they boarded their own new ship, one bought at a discounted price from Chewbacca’s sister, Rey kissed the Wookie’s furry nose. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to take the Falcon”, Chewie asked after pulling his forehead from Ben’s. 

“No, Uncle. He would want you to have it.” Ben smirked slightly. “You know her better than anybody.”

“Then, here”, the Wookie said, pressing something into his best friend’s son’s hand. It was Han’s golden Sabacc Dice, the ones that had hung in the Falcon’s cockpit all those years. 

Ben had played with them as a child; Han chasing the boy all around the ship just to get them back. “Those are my lucky dice, Ben. I need those!” 

Then on Crait, when his Uncle Luke faded into the Force forever allowing the Resistance to escape, he’d somehow found them on the ground of the old mine, left behind by his mother- it seems- just for him.  
The anger he’d felt. The utter hopelessness and guilt, and fear. He watched as Rey starred at him through the bond like she’d never seen him before, and then, closed the door of a ship that was his by birthright, in his face. Severing the connection for what would be, a full year… 

And he had been terrified. Because, he was now suddenly the Supreme Leader of the First Order, something he’d never really planned on happening, and he’s have to go back to a cold, hostile command ship without Rey there. 

And none that was what he wanted. 

“He’d want you to have these”, Uncle Chewie said. 

And Ben clenched the pair of tiny dice in his fist- just like that day on Crait- praying they would give him luck better than Han’s. 

They hugged goodbye one last time. And as the ship rose, Ben looked down fondly, with both love and pain in her chest, on the last member of his childhood family he had left. He hugging Rey’s reassuring hand to his chest, until Chewie was out of sight. 

Then… everything was blur. 

Planets. Systems. Places with names neither of them could pronounce. Forest and jungle. Marshlands. Rocky plains and villages beside the sea. A new ship every two months, just to be extra careful. They settled into this new rhythm. 

Kira and Skyler Echo: the names they chose for themselves when they needed to pick up a new ship, or rent a room for the night. 

Often, they spent their nights on whatever ship they were flying at the time. But when they found a place that seemed nice, and remote enough that no one could possibly recognize them, they stayed in whatever rooms or houses the locals had available. 

It was a simple life; lonely and sometimes boring, full of only the simplest of pleasures. But they loved it. Rey hadn’t known such peace on the past few years, and Ben never had- not since he was a young boy. The young couple didn’t just enjoy it; the reveled in it. 

And of course, this gave them something both had never had before. Each other. 

The first stop after Kashyyyk, was a planet on the very edge of the Outer Rim. It had been practically uninhabited for several centuries because of the large volume of salt and other dense minerals that permeated the soil. So, it was the perfect place for the thing neither of them wanted to do, but had to. 

Ben had done a bit of research. He’d read the documents from Luke on the Datastick and his personal letters. So, he had a pretty good idea how to do it. 

They stood on a rise in the land, infertile hills stretching as far as the eye could see. They didn’t touch, but stood back-to-back, the Force taught between them. 

Rey’s mind pushed away from him. “Imagine it like a cord”, Ben had said earlier, “Your connection to the Force is like a single thin thread. Find it, then follow it back to the place where it is anchored in your mind.”

Rey followed the sliver twisting string, seemingly made of translucent, glowing gossamer, all the way back to the place where she ended and the Force began. With a final caress and a grit of her teeth, she pulled it free- severing the connection, and the glowing cord immediately went dead.

That night, Ben sobbed into Rey’s chest, wrapped up in layers of blankets on the tiny bed inside the transport ship. His whole body shook, as if shuddering with cold. 

Ben had been keenly aware of his connection to the Force almost since the moment he was born- be it Light Side or Dark. Rey had felt it in small ways throughout her childhood, but she hadn’t been aware of it; not like he had. 

For him, it was a loss all its own. A death in the family. A death inside himself. 

They both felt the loss immensely in the days that followed. It took some getting used to- like the loss of a limb; it kept them off balance. And no longer could they reach for each other with the Force at a moment’s notice, as when they had been a constant presence in the other’s mind those two years. Now, there was nothing. 

The days were long, and sometimes boring. The two of them played games sometimes, read novels on the holopads or watched shows on the holonet; being careful not to reveal their identities to anyone. But they often couldn’t find a connection to the net, and the games got old after a while. 

So, they made love instead. 

Rey was insatiable, Ben soon found, with an amount of true surprise. She had been prepared to become a Jedi at one point. How can she possibly be this horny all the time, Ben wondered. 

But, of course, he wasn’t complaining. 

In the cockpit when he was flying the ship, she’d crawl between his legs or into his lap. While he sprawled on the couch reading or writing on his holopad, she’d jump him. Sometimes, she walked around in her underthings or in nothing at all, just to drive him crazy. And of course, it worked; and soon he’d have he pressed against the wall, kissing her lips sore and pounding her into the rough metal. 

Especially on the nights then they stayed in a rented room, in a real bed, they’d sprawl out and have each other in every single position and every way possible. And as it turned out, Ben was actually very creative with this sort of thing. 

Rey preferred to be taken from behind. She liked his hand in her hair or on the back of her neck, the way his lips passively kissed and sucked their way down her spine and back up again to claim her neck. 

But Ben secretly preferred having her on her back or when she rode him from above. He loved the way her eyes trained on his, the way she’d gasp and arch her back when he fitted himself inside her tight channel- when he could watch her perfect breasts bouncing and could swoop them up and draw them into his mouth. He loved looking into her eyes as she came, knowing it was him that was making her feel that good.

Now, on one such night, in their room near the top of a tall metal building overlooking the small city of Mezieec, on the frozen ice planet Tarres, they make love on the bed beside the oval window, under the watch of stars and city lights. 

Rey lies on her back. She’s naked, sheets haphazard around her body, her hair long and flowing, and her- now very noticeable- belly sticking up in the chilly air. 

There is no way to know exactly how far along she is, after the shit the Whisperers had pulled. But it can’t be more than three of four months left now until she’s ready to give birth. 

Ben buries his face in her breasts. He loves their softness, their warmth- and they’ve been swollen and tender lately, preparing for the life growing inside her. 

He gently takes one nipple between his lips, and Rey groans. Then he slots himself inside her and begins the torturously slow drag and thrust inside her tight walls. 

Gently flipping her over, he pushes a pillow under her chest to prop her up. Then he shoves into her from behind, pinning her thighs together and licking along her spine until her cries turn to one continuous moan. 

They won’t be able to use this position for much longer, so he takes every opportunity to have her on her front; where Ben can easily grip her ass cheeks as hard as he likes, as he pulls them apart to thrust even deeper. She’s so tight with her legs pinned together, but she still takes his cock so well. 

Rey loves it too. He’s so gentle with her, but never leaves her unsatisfied; even if they have to spend hours awake in their bed before they drift off in a sweaty pile, just so she can come one more time. 

After he finishes deep inside her, she rolls round to gather him to her breast. Humming softly, she brushes the sweaty strands ebony hair from his forehead. Ben only nuzzles deeper in between her round tits, breathing hot and open-mouthed on her skin, as the tip of his nose grazes her nipple. 

He’s so good to her. If she didn’t want to, she wouldn’t even have to walk anywhere. He would carry her. He’s offered more times than she can count. But despite her swelling ankles, she still has enough dignity to use her own two legs. 

Rey kisses his forehead. Its times like these that she is confounded with the realization that they are really here, together- that they made it, somehow, and he is hers forever. 

“Mmm, Baby”, she whispers. She taken to calling him pet names like this, and she loves the responses it gets out of him. 

“Yeah, Sweetheart?”

“I can’t believe we have to stop doing this soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I can’t have you inside me…” 

Ben lifts his head slightly. “We do?” He sounds thoroughly perplexed. 

“Yes…Right? After the baby is big. Or it would hurt them.” 

He doesn’t mean to, but he laughs. But he stops when he sees her pout. “No, Sweetheart. We don’t have to stop. Not unless you want to.” 

“But- but…” She swallows. “It won’t hurt the baby? Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure”, he says, soothing her hair. “Until your water breaks, the baby is sealed up in there. No amount of pushing and prodding is going to break through there until its time.”

Suddenly, Rey covers her face and rolls over, away from him. 

“Rey? Rey.” His gentle hand caresses her back. “What is it? What’s wrong?” She shakes her head. 

Then, a moment later, she says through her hands, “I don’t know anything.” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know anything about this! I don’t even know about my own baby!” She sobs. 

“Oh, hon-.”

“I’m scared, Ben. I don’t know how to do this. I’m trying, but I- I feel like I’m floundering. What if I- do something wrong? What if something happens and I don’t know what to do?!”

Prying her hands away from her face, he kisses her fingertips. “Hey, come on. Look at me.” She does, even though she hates him seeing her such a mess. “I’m scared too. And I don’t know about this stuff either.” 

“You knew about that”, she counters, eyes flashing. 

“Ok, so I happened to know one thing…” Voice softening, he says. “But I’m still not ready.”

Rey hides her face again. 

“But we will be”, he promises, sweeping the delicate hairs from her glistening forehead. 

“I never even knew my mother! She was supposed to teach me this stuff, but now she’s dead, and I can’t even ask her!” 

“And, I bet she was scared too. When she had you...” 

“But at least, she wasn’t around to screw up the rest of my life. Even though she should have been. She- she abandoned me.” Rey’s own repressed feelings about her family’s origin and her own painful childhood are finally surfacing. She doesn’t hate her parents- not really. But she also doesn’t understand them, or why they did what they did. 

“She didn’t want to leave me, but she did”, Rey says, anger flaring, tight in her throat. “She probably WANTED to be a good mother. But she wasn’t! And I grew up alone! And in the end, that was still her fault.” 

Ben’s face hardens. “You are not your mother”, he tells her firmly. 

“But I could be. Maybe I am, and I just don’t know it. Look at you! You tried so hard to be something else; but you ended up being just like Han.” 

Hurt flashes in Ben’s eyes, and she quickly tries to amend he words. “But at least he was a good man. And a g-.”

“A good father?” Ben supplies, darkly. “Is that what you were about to say? Can you honestly say that he was?” Rey swallows, shakes her head. “Because he neglected me, you know that, right?” It wasn’t intentional, but it still hurt. There were obviously other reasons, but that’s part of the reason why I ended up the way I did.” A tear falls down Rey’s cheek, and he quickly brushes it away.

“Are you saying I’m going to be just like him?” He asks. And Rey recoils at the thought that Ben could ever- ever neglect their child. 

“No, I-.”

“Because if we’re going to think that way- that we’re just our parents, doomed to make the same mistakes- we might as well give up right now.” 

He’s right. She knows he’s right. And her heart breaks to think of the loneliness and isolation they both faced through their adolescence, just because of their parents’ mistakes, when the only thing they needed to be whole, was each other. Because of that, they will never make those same mistakes.

Ben looks at her long and hard, before finally, his face softens. “I am not my father. And you’re not your mother. And we can learn from their failures. Because no matter what happens, we are going to be the best parents we can be to this little one. He presses a finger to her heart, then touches his own bare chest. 

“You… and me.” 

Lip trembling, Rey slowly falls into his chest, hiding her face in his neck, just below his pulse point. The gently thrumming of his heart is a comfort like nothing else in the galaxy to her. She sometimes forgets, because they are no longer in constant contact through the Force, how dear the rhythm is to her. 

What would she do without him? Where would she be if he had never come back to her?

And there is that danger of letting people close to you; their ability to break you from the inside. With each passing day, you become more and more attached, until you are just a part of one whole… and if something happens- if that person breaks away- you will break with them.

Like letting herself fall in love with Ben. Like bringing this child into the world. They will soon be a family, which is a miracle in itself. But also a risk. 

Rey knows, that if something were to happen to them, she would never be able to go on. 

Ben lowers them to the bed, wrapping all his limbs round her, holding her tight. “Ok?” He asks. 

“Ok.”

“Ok…” 

… 

The sea is a deep, shimmering blue. Rey has never seen a body of water this large. Nearly half of all the planet is ocean. The Ocean Moon of Ki-quill. 

Hidden behind cliffs of shale and sand, she and Ben have been relaxing on the beach. They had landed the ship- a rickety, ugly brown thing- fifty miles from the nearest town and had walked just over a mile to find the perfect beach. 

There’s no worry that anyone is going to come upon them. And that means there’s no need for any clothes either. 

After wading in the salt spray, they’d made make-shift picnic with an old blanket laid out on the sand between two palm trees. 

Now, Rey lazes on her back, gazing at the waves crashing on the shore and her dumbass lover- soulmate diving in the shallows or shells and golden clams, his pale skin slowly getting more and more sunburnt, as the sun rises in the heavens. 

Finally, after watching his white bottom disappear beneath the water for the millionth time, she calls out, “Ben! Come on. You’re going to be redder than a Crullian clawed shellfish if you stay out any longer! Come into the shade”, she orders. She pats the blanket beside her, and he reluctantly obeys. 

Rey’s own cheeks flush red watching him saunter towards her, thick muscled thighs just above eyelevel. After all the times she’s seen him naked, you’d think she’d be used to it; but watching his long, girthy dick and large balls swaying as he walks, makes her feel like something between hunger and shock. 

He notices, and grins down at her, taking his time above her, fencing her in with his legs. 

“I’m not that red, am I?” He glances down at himself. He’s already getting a little hard with the attention from her eyes.

She can’t stop starring!

“You should see your ass. Every time you came up out of the water, it was a darker shade red.”

“Oh?” He raises a brow suggestively; it makes her roll her eyes. “So, you WERE watching, then?”

“Whatever”, she groans, throwing her tunic at him, falling back on the blanket. 

Ben only braces his hands on his hips, widening his stance, shifting so that his lovely cock is, once again, in her line of sight still. 

“Solo!” Rey warns, voice deepening, even as pleasure tingles across her skin. “If you keep doing keep doing that, I won’t be able to control myself!” 

They have sex right there on the sandy beach, with Rey on her back, legs in the air. 

“I’m gonna come”, he grunts, pounding into her. “I’m gonna come so deep inside you, baby! Are you almost there? Gonna come with me?”

“No.” She suddenly jerks herself out of it. Ben scowls at her. “I don’t want to walk back with cum on my thighs.”

“Can I come on your tits then”, he pants, barely controlling himself, “Your beautiful tits, all swollen getting ready for my baby.” Rey curses under her breath, dangerously close herself. But she doesn’t give in.  
“I don’t want to get back in the water. I’ll be cold up on the bluffs.” 

Ben hisses again. “Well, you better tell me where you want me to come right now, otherwise I am about to give you such a huge load right in your pretty cunt!” 

And as tempting as that is…

Suddenly, she smirks up at him, perfectly sinful. “Hmmmm… Where can you come?”

“Rey”, he wines. 

In response, she opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue. Understanding; he pulls out just in time to rest the tip of his cock on her tongue, before spilling inside her mouth. She swallows him down, sucking the head until he curses, just for good measure. 

…

Later, when they’re back at the ship and curled up on the cot and watching the sunset through the open ramp; Ben pulls out his datapad and they begin looking up pregnancy and child rearing information on the holonet. They’ve been doing this a lot since they both confessed they didn’t feel prepared for the prospect of having children. 

“Here’s a good one”, Rey says, pulling up an article. “Oh, never mind. This is for Togruta babies.” Ben chuckles. “Ideas for what you can do with your children when going on your honeymoon”, Rey continues reading through the list. “Well, we don’t need that.”

At her side, Ben stiffens. “And… why is that?” 

“Because we’re not getting married”, she replies, still scrolling through articles. 

“We… aren’t?” 

Rey turns and sees his look of dismay, and backpedals.  
“I only mean, we don’t need to. We’re already having a child together. We already have a life together.” Ben’s eyes flicker down, and his face becomes a mask. “And besides, we’re already basically married in the Force, anyway. That’s stronger than any marriage.” 

Ben nods, swallowing down his disappointment. Rey studies his face, a little baffled. “Why?” She asks cautiously. “Were you wanting to get married?” 

His Adam’s Apple bobs, and he pulls his hand from hers, picking at the sheets. “Well, not now, necessarily… but, yeah. I thought maybe, I might.”

Hesitantly, Rey nods. “It’s just… I thought since we have to stay hidden, and we can’t be with any of our friends or anything- and who knows how long it will be before we can go back to normal life- that a wedding might be kind of… uh, pointless?”

Ben’s mask hardens. It’s been a long time since she’s seen it, and immediately it causes a sharp pain inside her chest. 

No, don’t do that to me. Not again… 

“Oh”, is all he says in return, clamping his mouth shut. 

Aware of the tension coiling in the air between then, she tries to smooth it over with a calm, reassuring smile. “Well, not pointless, of course; but with all that’s going on with the Whisperers and everything, planning a wedding might be…

“Pointless”, he supplies, darkly. “Like being married to me.”

“No! Ben, that’s no that I said! Ben!” But the big man is already rolled over on his side, starring at the ship’s wall. When he doesn’t respond, she grabs his shoulder and shakes it. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you wanted to get married so badly.”

Ben shakes his head, clenching the pillow in his meaty fist. “Not now”, he mutters, “just maybe someday, when this is all over.” He swallows thickly. “But its fine. I understand; you don’t want to…”

“That’s not true. I just hadn’t really thought about it. I didn’t grow up around married people. Listen.” She leans over his large torso and gently grabs his chin, making him look at her. “Any girl would be lucky to be your wife.”

Shifting away his eyes, but not his face, he frowns. “Just not you…”

“Ben!” She admonishes, tightening her fingers on his chin. There is no way she’s letting him think she doesn’t love the fact that he wants to marry her. “I’m trying to tell you that, yes, I would be too! I’m flattered. More than that. I just don’t really know much about it, or what it really means. But if its important to you, then-.” 

“It’s just… my parents were married. My grandparents. Its more about the symbolism. To promise yourself to another person. Its official.” His mouth quirks shyly. “And I just kinda like the idea of calling you my wife…” He sighs, expression more resigned than anything else. “But I understand it you don’t- don’t want to. It’s just one of our silly traditions. It doesn’t really change things, so it’s not a big deal.” 

But the look on his face doesn’t agree. He doesn’t look at all like its fine. 

Rey’s heart clenches at the hurt in his eyes, that he’s trying so hard to hide. 

Marriage. 

She’d have a last name. A proper last name. Not a cursed one, or a stolen one; but one he would gladly give to her. One they would share. 

Mrs. Rey Solo. 

“Ben, oh Ben.” She kisses his cheek. “Of course, I want to marry you! Please, don’t be sad anymore.” She feels like a child, trying to comfort this big hulk of a man. “I want you to be happy. You already make me so happy.” 

He still isn’t looking at her. Why isn’t he looking at her?! 

“No really, Rey. Its fine. I know my name… it’s been through a lot. And I’ve done a lot… I understand why you don’t want to be associated with all that.” He finally does look, and she almost wishes he hadn’t, for the pain in his deep amber eyes. “And forever is a long time. It’s a big commitment. I wouldn’t want to ask you to make a promise like that.” 

No, no, no! How could she have goofed this thing up so badly?!

“I do want to. Ben, I do”, she insists, leaning further into him, even as he’s leaning away. “I want your name! I want your hand. I want your past too.” She’s on the verge of tears. “Remember, we promised! We’re in this together!” 

Silently, he nods. “But, you might change your mind”, he whispers. 

“Never.”

Again, his face falls. He looks like a tiny boy again; vulnerable, stripped bare to his core. 

“You know I love you, Ben. Right? You know that I love you more than anything in the universe except this child you gave me.” Rey can barely speak. Hee lips are quivering. “More than myself…” 

Ben’s face crumples, eyes squeezing out tears she hadn’t even noticed were there, that stick to his lashes. Finally, he’s leaning into her touch, their foreheads coming together. 

It’s been a while since she’s told him, she realizes. They don’t say it much, its true; not more than pleasure-hazed mumble before they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. Not enough. 

“You know that, don’t you?” She whispers, cradling his head. “You know, I love you?” He nods. “I need you. You have no idea what I would be if you’d never come back. I almost died when you were gone!” 

With a flash in his eyes, he really looks at her now. “I do know, Rey… I would probably be dead without you- or as good as dead!” 

“That’s right.” She nods through the tears gathering on her eyelashes and trickling down her cheeks to kiss his freckled skin. “You and me; we need each other. And we are always going to be together- married, or not. Safe, or not. Easy, or not!” 

“I love you, Rey”, he sobs. He kisses her with such fierceness, she almost forgets what they were arguing about. “I love you so much!” 

And slowly, they melt into each other and curl up on the bed, kissing tenderly.  
After a while, Rey runs her kiss-stained lips along his forehead, smiling softly. “As soon as its safe, you are going to marry me, Ben Solo! And there’s nothing you can do about it.” 

“Yes ma’am! Mmmm, Mrs. Solo… Mom never took the name. So, you’re going to be the first one. I think. I like that.”

“Me too”, she whispers into his feather-soft, midnight black curls, “Me too.” 

… 

What a strange world this is. And yet, its perfect for two people and their expected child on the run from the most powerful and terrible beings in the Galaxy. 

The whole thing is basically one big jungle. The plants grow too quickly for a clearing to last very long. So, all the buildings, including the one they’re staying in had to be molded out of the foliage, by using metal braces and cords to tie it into shape. Only a thin layer of wood covered the inside walls as insulation.

Just like Rey had said, she had never imagined so much green before in the whole Galaxy when she, Han, and Finn first landed on Takodana; Ben has never seen so much purple. Nearly all the plants and trees are this soft lilac color with visible darker veins, that fades into a soft green at the edges. The tree trunks are a dark ruddy purple-brown, but besides that, everything on this planet is the same shade. Even the grass.  
Rather than being blinding or annoying and overwhelming, the color is just soft enough that Ben finds it soothing. 

Since they’ve been here, he’s spent a lot of time in the thicket surrounding the house. He doesn’t go far, but he and Rey have com devices on them at all times; and Rey has her lightsaber anyway, so there’s really no need to worry. 

And besides, the baby still isn’t due for a couple months.

They can’t be completely sure exactly how long, but they were able to discreetly get a midwife in the nearest village to examine Rey to make sure everything was alright. And blessedly, she said it was, and they should still have about two months left to prepare. 

Ben comes to a stop in the area of forest he’d cleared yesterday, studying the encompassing foliage. His body tenses, muscles clenching as his natural senses heighten. 

Slowly, his hand creeps toward his neck, as if to scratch it, eyes locked on the trees, watching for any movement. Fainting, he suddenly lunges toward the clearing’s edge, reaching over his shoulder to the weapon sheathed there; and in one smooth movement, he ignites the cross-guard lightsaber and slices straight through the tree. 

Ben smirks down at his fallen foe. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?” 

The tree lies defeated, on the ground, and doesn’t answer. It doesn’t matter. A new one will sprout up in its place in a matter of days. 

At first, Ben had just used his lightsaber for clearing his way through as he explored, but it felt nice wielding the blue blade again- even without his connection to the Force. So, he’d stared coming out here to train every day. 

He and Rey had done that together a lot towards the beginning, but now, Rey is in no condition and she has no complaints about him going off on his own, preferring to sit with her feet propped up and a pillow cushioning her large belly as much as possible. 

After a while, and after about a dozen feet more on each side is clear of the offending plants, Ben sits down against a stump and pulls out his datapad. 

They had saved several new guidebooks about human childbearing in his documents, but as he scrolls through them, his eyes land on a file marked simply, “Leia”. 

His stomach tightens. The adrenaline that had just begun to settle in his veins, now begins to rise again. 

Ben has promised himself when he first stumbled across it, that he would someday read his mother’s last words to him. When things had calmed down. 

Well, things are probably as quiet as they’re ever going to get, he thinks, a nervousness tightening in his gut. 

Swallowing, he finds his fingers clicking on it, and then sifting though the other documents until he finds the right one. 

“BEN”

With a deep breath, he opens it. 

…

My Dearest Ben,

Its strange how being a parent changes you. I used to think I couldn’t possibly love anyone more than I loved your father. But then you came along, and to my astonishment, I realized how wrong I had been.  
I was wrong about a lot of things. 

You were the love of my life. The light of my life. My baby boy; my son. I am sorry I didn’t work better to protect that light. 

I wish I’d had told you these things a long time ago. Because I fear, we may be nearly running out of time. 

I don’t know if you will ever read this, though I pray if you do, that means you have found your way home again. Nevertheless, if helps to put in all in writing, to put words to all the things that have been weighing heavily on my heart these past years. 

There are so many things I should apologize for, and more that I am sorry about. But you know, I’m not very eloquent- not like you- when it comes to writing. But the most important one is this: I am so sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me. 

That I didn’t make you feel safe enough or understood enough to tell me when you needed help, or even, just to share your thoughts and sorrows with your father and me. That is something I will regret for the rest of my life. I didn’t give you a home where you felt you could tell me about the dark feelings or the voices in your mind. I pray you can forgive me, just as I have already forgiven you. 

I know you will need to hear this, so I need to tell you that I have already forgiven you for anything you have ever done and will do. I suppose, I already had, the moment I first looked into those sweet, deep eyes and felt that silky down fuzz on the top of your tiny head. 

I suppose that is what it means to be a mother. 

That too, is something I should’ve told you before you heard it from strangers. I should’ve told you about my birth father myself. I was afraid for my own reputation, and I’m sorry. 

I also should’ve told you hot talented you are, and not just in the Force; about all the wonderful traits I admire so much and make me proud to call you my son. 

You’re so smart, my boy. And I know you hated studying, but in all the other ways too. Fixing things. Composing letters. Remember when I taught you to braid; you were so good at that too, so careful and precise. Problem solving. 

And you’re such a sweet boy- well actually, you’re a man now, aren’t you? A little sullen and standoffish, but sweet and attentive. You’re sensitive, I know, and emotional. I should have been more aware of those things when you were growing up.

You get that from your father, I think. 

He loved you. Maker, he loved you so fiercely. He wasn’t terribly good at showing it. Neither of us were. But don’t you ever think, for a second, that he didn’t love you! Even to the end. 

I believe that. 

Oh, how I pray I will have one last chance to see your face again, Son. It has been too long. I felt you that day, on the cruiser. But I long to take your face in my hands and see for myself how much you’ve gown, how strong you’ve become.

I know, you’re so tall now…

But unfortunately, I feel my energy waning. Every day. The stress of being a politician and a general all my life must be catching up to me. I don’t know how much time I have left. 

If you’re reading this, I must me gone. But I hope you won’t mourn me too much. I will be with my brother in the Force, and I will always be watching over you. 

I love you, my son. 

If you remember me a certain way, I ask that you not remember me in all my failings, but hope you will remember me as I was on that day when you were seven years old, when we went into the city and got those sugar ice balls. Those may be the most delicious things I’ve ever tasted!

I wore my hair long and your dad was wearing that purple vest you picked out for his birthday. Your sugar ice melted before you got a chance to finish it. You were too busy singing along to the song playing outside the shop. 

Remember us like that, Ben, won’t you? 

…

“Hello, Son…”

The data pad nearly falls from his hands as he looks up to find his mother- his MOTHER- standing there in front of him. 

For a moment, he thinks this must be a holo projection that she’s timed to start when he got to the end of the letter. But no. There’s a faint, blue glow surrounding her, and her skin and floor-length purple gown seem to be made of mist. 

And there’s that look in her eyes- and he knows, he knows, she can see him. 

It is a gaze of bittersweet joy, of pure unconditional love. Perhaps, she’s already worn it when she looked at him, and he just hadn’t recognized it for what it was until he learned to feel that love in return.  
“Mom…” He feels like running- leaping into her arms; but instead, he remains stiffly sitting on the stump. 

“Ben.” He nearly crumbles from the inside out, hearing his name coming from her mouth again. His lips move, but nothing comes out, all the things he’d thought he’d never get to say crowding and filling his mind all at once and jumbling together. 

“You came… You’re really here…” Drawing nearer, Leia smiles, but then pauses, when she sees the look forming on his face. Hurt flashes in his eyes, and hers respond with a twinge of guilt. 

His voice trembles when he breathes out, “I needed you.”

Jaw clenching, Leia moves to speak, but he’s not finished. His voice is more steady this time. “I really needed you! I called, begged, cried. And you never came. Not even a sign or a feeling of reassurance or hope sent thought the Force. Nothing!” Face flushing, he clenches his fists to his knees. 

“I thought it was because you couldn’t- that something was keeping you from me, but obviously, you can. And now that I’m away from the danger, with Rey and happier than I’ve ever been in my life; now you come!” 

She waits for his breaths to calm and his heaving chest to still, then says, “I’m sorry, Son. I truly am. But I promise you it wasn’t for no reason. I would’ve come if I had thought it would be the right thing for you. But I saw in the Force that it wasn’t. This was a trial you needed to experience on your own. And I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you- of you both.”

He’s too relieved to see her to stay angry; he has no stomach for that anymore. But he still feels the sting of her neglect, the same as he had when he was a child, waiting up late into the night for her to come home from work. 

Hadn’t she said- hadn’t she said in her letter that it was the one thing she regretted most- was most sorry for- for not being there when he needed her? And yet, she still didn’t come?

He doesn’t understand it. 

It may be true. Maybe the Force had told her not to come- and maybe it was right- but it still hurts more than he could have imagined. 

Their reunion was never meant to be so bittersweet…

“Ben…” She tries again, even more gently, and moves to stand before him. 

Fighting back tears, he shakes his head, won’t meet her eyes. “I truly am sorry, for everything that happened, everything you’re had to endure. You’ve had to make some difficult choices, but I need you to know I was with you every moment, even if you couldn’t see me. Your Uncle Luke, and… and Anakin too…”

Grandfather. 

The reminder that any one of them could’ve come, but didn’t; it stings, like a fresh cut. He would have come if it was any of them in his place and he in theirs. Force, or no Force; he would have come if they’d called!

Taking his silence for resignation, Leia gazes at him for a moment, with a gentle, tender expression. Leia slowly raises a hand toward his face, as if to touch him, but her hand pauses, hovering in midair. 

“You’re all grown up, aren’t you?”

“I have been for a while, Mom”, he replies with the slightest quirk of his lips. “I’m in my thirties.” At that, he shudders. 

His mother only chuckles, lowering her head, but not drawing away. “Not nearly as old as I am.”

Her amazed smile drops at as his face does. “You are being good to yourself, aren’t you?” 

He can barely keep tears out of his voice when he speaks, lip trembling. “I’m- I am trying-.” Finally, he meets her eyes with tears spilling out of his own. “Mom, I’m scared.”

“Shhhh… I know, I know.” This time when she raises her arms, they’re solid around his shoulders. And Ben almost collapses against a touch he’d thought he’d never feel again. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be a father- let alone a good one…” His body softly shakes beneath her hands. “I don’t know how to protect them.”

“Shhhh, Son. It’s alright. Look at me, Ben-. Look!” Ben does as she tells him, as if he’s still that seven-year-old child who had eaten sugared ice balls in the city square with his parents all those years ago.  
“Look at all you have already overcome.” 

The tears fall harder at the reminder. Exegol. Death. Rey on the Dark Side. Being trapped in that terrible portal world with those nightmarish beings. Having to choose- and potentially choosing wrong- and ruining his child’s life forever. 

It was all too much. Weeks, months had passed, but it hadn’t gotten any easier. He still wakes to nightmares about his hands on that bloody stone, only in his dreams, it wasn’t just his own blood there. It was Rey’s. 

Their baby’s. 

“See, my son, if you can do all that, I know you will figure this out too.” Leia’s eyes go distant. “I wasn’t ready… when I had you. We didn’t plan for you, but you came nonetheless, like a beautiful bright star or a little blue butterfly- into our lives; and we did the best we could…” The pain on her ghastly pale, blue face is real… more alive than she is. 

“But I already know your tender heart. I see the love already shing in your eyes. You already are a good father, and a good man for Rey to love.”

Rey.

“Mom… can I take you to see her? Will you come?”

“Of course, I will, son.”  
…

The leaves rustle loudly in the trees all around. It’s a windy day, and the jungle is alive with the loud clapping sounds of those leathery, thick purple leaves smacking together in the breeze. 

Rey is struggling. 

She’s doing the laundry today, and its not going very well at all. 

Usually, Ben does it, since there is no machine on their current tiny ship or in the small shack they’ve been borrowing. But Rey had volunteered to do it this time, because she thought it would be fun to play around in the cool sudsy water, in the hot late-afternoon sun. 

But this is the farthest thing from it. 

She’s already spilled the basin of water twice; once, when she backed into it with her rear end, and the other, when she was leaning in to grab the soap bottle, and tipped it into her lap. 

Now, half drenched, soap suds tickling her nose and getting in her mouth, sweat and stray strands of hair stuck to her forehead, she could not be in a worse mood. 

Rey has just turned on the water to begin filling the basin, yet again, when she hears a footstep in the jungle behind her. 

Automatically, her heartrate accelerates, and he skin prickles, tensing up for a fight. Straitening up, she slowly turns to find that, it is not some deadly assassin or kidnapper lurking at her back, but Ben. 

Was he sneaking up on her? 

With the mood she’s in, she really doesn’t appreciate it. 

Her foul mood returns. She’d just about to start chucking wet clothes and soap bottles at his head for scaring her, when she notices something hovering in the brush beside him. 

What is that?! 

“I- uh- oh…” Rey gasps. And then her stupid, pregnant body betrays her, and she begins sobbing, right where she stands, suds up to her elbows and trousers soaked. 

“Leia?”

“Hello, Rey. I’ve missed you…”

“Rey…” Before she knows it, he is at her side, hand steady on her lower back. “She came to visit. And I figured… your mom may not be able to answer your questions or teach you all the things you need to know about childbearing; but my mom is… And, I know she’ll be happy to help.”

Rey doesn’t even hesitate; she runs right into Leia’s arms.


End file.
